Telling family you are hoping to emmigrate
May 11th 2006, 1:30 pm
#1
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Poole, Dorset
Posts: 1,217
Telling family you are hoping to emmigrate
My husband and I have recently decided to apply to emmigrate to Australia. We've visited and have decided on Brisbane as we really liked it and my husband has an uncle, aunt and cousins there so we're sure a few friendly faces will help to make it all a bit easier.
We are just doing all the research at the moment and have contacted migration agents to find out how they can help but we are thinking of going it alone.
Anyway we thought we ought to tell our families our plans. We are thinking that it is going to take at least a year for the application process to go through and we thought that by telling them now they would have more time to get used to the idea. We thought it would be better than just telling them that we've applied, got the visa's and are off in a couple of months time.
My family seem to have dealt with it reasonably well. My parents have family all over the UK and in Canada so are used to not seeing much of everyone. My parents have told us that we are living our lives and we should do whatever we want as you only get one chance. I think that is a fab attitude to have and am very grateful to them for being so understanding.
My husbands family are a whole different breed however. We have only recently told everyone and it went down like a lead balloon. We live very close close to them and they do rely on us a bit I think and they are a very close family. They have visited Oz once to see my mother in law's brother (husbands uncle) and I don't think they liked it that much. So far they have tried all sorts of tactics to try and get us to change our minds. They think that we won't get jobs, won't be able to afford a house, will be homesick etc. Basically they are trying everything they can to talk us out of it. They also seem to think that it is all my idea and I'm taking their son away from them. It was actually him who suggested it in the first place, and we have discussed it in depth before making the decision.
My SIL has also got in on the act and is trying to make my husband feel guilty for wanting to move away from his family. She keeps saying saying things like what will you do if any thing happens to mum and dad and moaning that she will have to deal with it all. I don't they'd be happy if we were only going an hour away but this news seems to be devasting to them. I can understand that no parents wants their child to live so far away and hardly ever see them but its our lives and our choices and they should accept that.
We are only just about to start out on the road to applying and I don't think that we can cope with them if they continue like this. We though it best to tell them our plans right at the start rather than keeping it all to ourselves and then just telling them when we were going to be going.
I'm hoping that it is just an initial reaction and they will come round to the idea in time.
I'm just wondering if anyone else's families have taken the news that you are moving really badly. How did you deal with it and do you have any tips for us.
Sorry for the long post.
We are just doing all the research at the moment and have contacted migration agents to find out how they can help but we are thinking of going it alone.
Anyway we thought we ought to tell our families our plans. We are thinking that it is going to take at least a year for the application process to go through and we thought that by telling them now they would have more time to get used to the idea. We thought it would be better than just telling them that we've applied, got the visa's and are off in a couple of months time.
My family seem to have dealt with it reasonably well. My parents have family all over the UK and in Canada so are used to not seeing much of everyone. My parents have told us that we are living our lives and we should do whatever we want as you only get one chance. I think that is a fab attitude to have and am very grateful to them for being so understanding.
My husbands family are a whole different breed however. We have only recently told everyone and it went down like a lead balloon. We live very close close to them and they do rely on us a bit I think and they are a very close family. They have visited Oz once to see my mother in law's brother (husbands uncle) and I don't think they liked it that much. So far they have tried all sorts of tactics to try and get us to change our minds. They think that we won't get jobs, won't be able to afford a house, will be homesick etc. Basically they are trying everything they can to talk us out of it. They also seem to think that it is all my idea and I'm taking their son away from them. It was actually him who suggested it in the first place, and we have discussed it in depth before making the decision.
My SIL has also got in on the act and is trying to make my husband feel guilty for wanting to move away from his family. She keeps saying saying things like what will you do if any thing happens to mum and dad and moaning that she will have to deal with it all. I don't they'd be happy if we were only going an hour away but this news seems to be devasting to them. I can understand that no parents wants their child to live so far away and hardly ever see them but its our lives and our choices and they should accept that.
We are only just about to start out on the road to applying and I don't think that we can cope with them if they continue like this. We though it best to tell them our plans right at the start rather than keeping it all to ourselves and then just telling them when we were going to be going.
I'm hoping that it is just an initial reaction and they will come round to the idea in time.
I'm just wondering if anyone else's families have taken the news that you are moving really badly. How did you deal with it and do you have any tips for us.
Sorry for the long post.
May 11th 2006, 2:24 pm
#2
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2006
Location: Gold Coast, Monterey Keys.
Posts: 711
Re: Telling family you are hoping to emmigrate
Originally Posted by TeresaG
My husband and I have recently decided to apply to emmigrate to Australia. We've visited and have decided on Brisbane as we really liked it and my husband has an uncle, aunt and cousins there so we're sure a few friendly faces will help to make it all a bit easier.
We are just doing all the research at the moment and have contacted migration agents to find out how they can help but we are thinking of going it alone.
Anyway we thought we ought to tell our families our plans. We are thinking that it is going to take at least a year for the application process to go through and we thought that by telling them now they would have more time to get used to the idea. We thought it would be better than just telling them that we've applied, got the visa's and are off in a couple of months time.
My family seem to have dealt with it reasonably well. My parents have family all over the UK and in Canada so are used to not seeing much of everyone. My parents have told us that we are living our lives and we should do whatever we want as you only get one chance. I think that is a fab attitude to have and am very grateful to them for being so understanding.
My husbands family are a whole different breed however. We have only recently told everyone and it went down like a lead balloon. We live very close close to them and they do rely on us a bit I think and they are a very close family. They have visited Oz once to see my mother in law's brother (husbands uncle) and I don't think they liked it that much. So far they have tried all sorts of tactics to try and get us to change our minds. They think that we won't get jobs, won't be able to afford a house, will be homesick etc. Basically they are trying everything they can to talk us out of it. They also seem to think that it is all my idea and I'm taking their son away from them. It was actually him who suggested it in the first place, and we have discussed it in depth before making the decision.
My SIL has also got in on the act and is trying to make my husband feel guilty for wanting to move away from his family. She keeps saying saying things like what will you do if any thing happens to mum and dad and moaning that she will have to deal with it all. I don't they'd be happy if we were only going an hour away but this news seems to be devasting to them. I can understand that no parents wants their child to live so far away and hardly ever see them but its our lives and our choices and they should accept that.
We are only just about to start out on the road to applying and I don't think that we can cope with them if they continue like this. We though it best to tell them our plans right at the start rather than keeping it all to ourselves and then just telling them when we were going to be going.
I'm hoping that it is just an initial reaction and they will come round to the idea in time.
I'm just wondering if anyone else's families have taken the news that you are moving really badly. How did you deal with it and do you have any tips for us.
Sorry for the long post.
We are just doing all the research at the moment and have contacted migration agents to find out how they can help but we are thinking of going it alone.
Anyway we thought we ought to tell our families our plans. We are thinking that it is going to take at least a year for the application process to go through and we thought that by telling them now they would have more time to get used to the idea. We thought it would be better than just telling them that we've applied, got the visa's and are off in a couple of months time.
My family seem to have dealt with it reasonably well. My parents have family all over the UK and in Canada so are used to not seeing much of everyone. My parents have told us that we are living our lives and we should do whatever we want as you only get one chance. I think that is a fab attitude to have and am very grateful to them for being so understanding.
My husbands family are a whole different breed however. We have only recently told everyone and it went down like a lead balloon. We live very close close to them and they do rely on us a bit I think and they are a very close family. They have visited Oz once to see my mother in law's brother (husbands uncle) and I don't think they liked it that much. So far they have tried all sorts of tactics to try and get us to change our minds. They think that we won't get jobs, won't be able to afford a house, will be homesick etc. Basically they are trying everything they can to talk us out of it. They also seem to think that it is all my idea and I'm taking their son away from them. It was actually him who suggested it in the first place, and we have discussed it in depth before making the decision.
My SIL has also got in on the act and is trying to make my husband feel guilty for wanting to move away from his family. She keeps saying saying things like what will you do if any thing happens to mum and dad and moaning that she will have to deal with it all. I don't they'd be happy if we were only going an hour away but this news seems to be devasting to them. I can understand that no parents wants their child to live so far away and hardly ever see them but its our lives and our choices and they should accept that.
We are only just about to start out on the road to applying and I don't think that we can cope with them if they continue like this. We though it best to tell them our plans right at the start rather than keeping it all to ourselves and then just telling them when we were going to be going.
I'm hoping that it is just an initial reaction and they will come round to the idea in time.
I'm just wondering if anyone else's families have taken the news that you are moving really badly. How did you deal with it and do you have any tips for us.
Sorry for the long post.
I have attached a link as i asked a similar question a few months back when i had first told my parents.
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=357193
Good luck with the move sending karma your way.
Stacey xx
Last edited by stacey and jordan; May 11th 2006 at 2:34 pm.
May 11th 2006, 3:07 pm
#3
SharonC
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Perth
Posts: 142
Re: Telling family you are hoping to emmigrate
Originally Posted by TeresaG
My husband and I have recently decided to apply to emmigrate to Australia. We've visited and have decided on Brisbane as we really liked it and my husband has an uncle, aunt and cousins there so we're sure a few friendly faces will help to make it all a bit easier.
We are just doing all the research at the moment and have contacted migration agents to find out how they can help but we are thinking of going it alone.
Anyway we thought we ought to tell our families our plans. We are thinking that it is going to take at least a year for the application process to go through and we thought that by telling them now they would have more time to get used to the idea. We thought it would be better than just telling them that we've applied, got the visa's and are off in a couple of months time.
My family seem to have dealt with it reasonably well. My parents have family all over the UK and in Canada so are used to not seeing much of everyone. My parents have told us that we are living our lives and we should do whatever we want as you only get one chance. I think that is a fab attitude to have and am very grateful to them for being so understanding.
My husbands family are a whole different breed however. We have only recently told everyone and it went down like a lead balloon. We live very close close to them and they do rely on us a bit I think and they are a very close family. They have visited Oz once to see my mother in law's brother (husbands uncle) and I don't think they liked it that much. So far they have tried all sorts of tactics to try and get us to change our minds. They think that we won't get jobs, won't be able to afford a house, will be homesick etc. Basically they are trying everything they can to talk us out of it. They also seem to think that it is all my idea and I'm taking their son away from them. It was actually him who suggested it in the first place, and we have discussed it in depth before making the decision.
My SIL has also got in on the act and is trying to make my husband feel guilty for wanting to move away from his family. She keeps saying saying things like what will you do if any thing happens to mum and dad and moaning that she will have to deal with it all. I don't they'd be happy if we were only going an hour away but this news seems to be devasting to them. I can understand that no parents wants their child to live so far away and hardly ever see them but its our lives and our choices and they should accept that.
We are only just about to start out on the road to applying and I don't think that we can cope with them if they continue like this. We though it best to tell them our plans right at the start rather than keeping it all to ourselves and then just telling them when we were going to be going.
I'm hoping that it is just an initial reaction and they will come round to the idea in time.
I'm just wondering if anyone else's families have taken the news that you are moving really badly. How did you deal with it and do you have any tips for us.
Sorry for the long post.
We are just doing all the research at the moment and have contacted migration agents to find out how they can help but we are thinking of going it alone.
Anyway we thought we ought to tell our families our plans. We are thinking that it is going to take at least a year for the application process to go through and we thought that by telling them now they would have more time to get used to the idea. We thought it would be better than just telling them that we've applied, got the visa's and are off in a couple of months time.
My family seem to have dealt with it reasonably well. My parents have family all over the UK and in Canada so are used to not seeing much of everyone. My parents have told us that we are living our lives and we should do whatever we want as you only get one chance. I think that is a fab attitude to have and am very grateful to them for being so understanding.
My husbands family are a whole different breed however. We have only recently told everyone and it went down like a lead balloon. We live very close close to them and they do rely on us a bit I think and they are a very close family. They have visited Oz once to see my mother in law's brother (husbands uncle) and I don't think they liked it that much. So far they have tried all sorts of tactics to try and get us to change our minds. They think that we won't get jobs, won't be able to afford a house, will be homesick etc. Basically they are trying everything they can to talk us out of it. They also seem to think that it is all my idea and I'm taking their son away from them. It was actually him who suggested it in the first place, and we have discussed it in depth before making the decision.
My SIL has also got in on the act and is trying to make my husband feel guilty for wanting to move away from his family. She keeps saying saying things like what will you do if any thing happens to mum and dad and moaning that she will have to deal with it all. I don't they'd be happy if we were only going an hour away but this news seems to be devasting to them. I can understand that no parents wants their child to live so far away and hardly ever see them but its our lives and our choices and they should accept that.
We are only just about to start out on the road to applying and I don't think that we can cope with them if they continue like this. We though it best to tell them our plans right at the start rather than keeping it all to ourselves and then just telling them when we were going to be going.
I'm hoping that it is just an initial reaction and they will come round to the idea in time.
I'm just wondering if anyone else's families have taken the news that you are moving really badly. How did you deal with it and do you have any tips for us.
Sorry for the long post.
My Mum spent the whole time convinced that we would never go through with the move and always made negative comments any time it was discussed. Like you I was upfront with our plans.
When the time came to pack our bags and go things got no easier. My Mum spent a lot of time being upset, making me feel guilty. She eventually came round the day before we left the UK and came down to say at the hotel with us the night before we left. I was really proud of her as I knew she was upset at me leaving but she finally accepted that I had my life to live.
Now I am here I probably speak with her on the phone more often than when I was in the UK and our relationship is much better. I miss the family back home but I would not want to give up the better life I have in Perth, this is home for my hubby, me (& family once we have little ones)
Don't let your husbands folk get you down, you are probably doing something they just haven't got the guts to do. Good luck with your new life in Brisbain.
Sharon
May 11th 2006, 6:53 pm
#4
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2006
Location: Hocking, WA
Posts: 115
Re: Telling family you are hoping to emmigrate
Originally Posted by TeresaG
My husband and I have recently decided to apply to emmigrate to Australia. We've visited and have decided on Brisbane as we really liked it and my husband has an uncle, aunt and cousins there so we're sure a few friendly faces will help to make it all a bit easier.
We are just doing all the research at the moment and have contacted migration agents to find out how they can help but we are thinking of going it alone.
Anyway we thought we ought to tell our families our plans. We are thinking that it is going to take at least a year for the application process to go through and we thought that by telling them now they would have more time to get used to the idea. We thought it would be better than just telling them that we've applied, got the visa's and are off in a couple of months time.
My family seem to have dealt with it reasonably well. My parents have family all over the UK and in Canada so are used to not seeing much of everyone. My parents have told us that we are living our lives and we should do whatever we want as you only get one chance. I think that is a fab attitude to have and am very grateful to them for being so understanding.
My husbands family are a whole different breed however. We have only recently told everyone and it went down like a lead balloon. We live very close close to them and they do rely on us a bit I think and they are a very close family. They have visited Oz once to see my mother in law's brother (husbands uncle) and I don't think they liked it that much. So far they have tried all sorts of tactics to try and get us to change our minds. They think that we won't get jobs, won't be able to afford a house, will be homesick etc. Basically they are trying everything they can to talk us out of it. They also seem to think that it is all my idea and I'm taking their son away from them. It was actually him who suggested it in the first place, and we have discussed it in depth before making the decision.
My SIL has also got in on the act and is trying to make my husband feel guilty for wanting to move away from his family. She keeps saying saying things like what will you do if any thing happens to mum and dad and moaning that she will have to deal with it all. I don't they'd be happy if we were only going an hour away but this news seems to be devasting to them. I can understand that no parents wants their child to live so far away and hardly ever see them but its our lives and our choices and they should accept that.
We are only just about to start out on the road to applying and I don't think that we can cope with them if they continue like this. We though it best to tell them our plans right at the start rather than keeping it all to ourselves and then just telling them when we were going to be going.
I'm hoping that it is just an initial reaction and they will come round to the idea in time.
I'm just wondering if anyone else's families have taken the news that you are moving really badly. How did you deal with it and do you have any tips for us.
Sorry for the long post.
We are just doing all the research at the moment and have contacted migration agents to find out how they can help but we are thinking of going it alone.
Anyway we thought we ought to tell our families our plans. We are thinking that it is going to take at least a year for the application process to go through and we thought that by telling them now they would have more time to get used to the idea. We thought it would be better than just telling them that we've applied, got the visa's and are off in a couple of months time.
My family seem to have dealt with it reasonably well. My parents have family all over the UK and in Canada so are used to not seeing much of everyone. My parents have told us that we are living our lives and we should do whatever we want as you only get one chance. I think that is a fab attitude to have and am very grateful to them for being so understanding.
My husbands family are a whole different breed however. We have only recently told everyone and it went down like a lead balloon. We live very close close to them and they do rely on us a bit I think and they are a very close family. They have visited Oz once to see my mother in law's brother (husbands uncle) and I don't think they liked it that much. So far they have tried all sorts of tactics to try and get us to change our minds. They think that we won't get jobs, won't be able to afford a house, will be homesick etc. Basically they are trying everything they can to talk us out of it. They also seem to think that it is all my idea and I'm taking their son away from them. It was actually him who suggested it in the first place, and we have discussed it in depth before making the decision.
My SIL has also got in on the act and is trying to make my husband feel guilty for wanting to move away from his family. She keeps saying saying things like what will you do if any thing happens to mum and dad and moaning that she will have to deal with it all. I don't they'd be happy if we were only going an hour away but this news seems to be devasting to them. I can understand that no parents wants their child to live so far away and hardly ever see them but its our lives and our choices and they should accept that.
We are only just about to start out on the road to applying and I don't think that we can cope with them if they continue like this. We though it best to tell them our plans right at the start rather than keeping it all to ourselves and then just telling them when we were going to be going.
I'm hoping that it is just an initial reaction and they will come round to the idea in time.
I'm just wondering if anyone else's families have taken the news that you are moving really badly. How did you deal with it and do you have any tips for us.
Sorry for the long post.
We are in a similar situation. We thought it best that we were up front with my parents (sadly my wife's parents are no longer with us) about our plans to try and go to OZ. That was 4 weeks ago and we haven't seen or heard from them since.
It's their loss and to be honest if they loved and cared for us then they would want us to be happy no matter where we were in the world, i know i would be if my daughter moved away.
It's hard though and what keeps you going is the thought of the new life down under. Keep your chin up and don't let the comments get you down just think of the new beginning in Brisbane.
The phrase - "You can pick your friends but not your family" springs to mind.
Cheers and best of luck
Andyd
May 11th 2006, 6:57 pm
#5
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Essex - Devon - Charlestown, NSW
Posts: 192
Re: Telling family you are hoping to emmigrate
Originally Posted by TeresaG
My husband and I have recently decided to apply to emmigrate to Australia. We've visited and have decided on Brisbane as we really liked it and my husband has an uncle, aunt and cousins there so we're sure a few friendly faces will help to make it all a bit easier.
We are just doing all the research at the moment and have contacted migration agents to find out how they can help but we are thinking of going it alone.
Anyway we thought we ought to tell our families our plans. We are thinking that it is going to take at least a year for the application process to go through and we thought that by telling them now they would have more time to get used to the idea. We thought it would be better than just telling them that we've applied, got the visa's and are off in a couple of months time.
My family seem to have dealt with it reasonably well. My parents have family all over the UK and in Canada so are used to not seeing much of everyone. My parents have told us that we are living our lives and we should do whatever we want as you only get one chance. I think that is a fab attitude to have and am very grateful to them for being so understanding.
My husbands family are a whole different breed however. We have only recently told everyone and it went down like a lead balloon. We live very close close to them and they do rely on us a bit I think and they are a very close family. They have visited Oz once to see my mother in law's brother (husbands uncle) and I don't think they liked it that much. So far they have tried all sorts of tactics to try and get us to change our minds. They think that we won't get jobs, won't be able to afford a house, will be homesick etc. Basically they are trying everything they can to talk us out of it. They also seem to think that it is all my idea and I'm taking their son away from them. It was actually him who suggested it in the first place, and we have discussed it in depth before making the decision.
My SIL has also got in on the act and is trying to make my husband feel guilty for wanting to move away from his family. She keeps saying saying things like what will you do if any thing happens to mum and dad and moaning that she will have to deal with it all. I don't they'd be happy if we were only going an hour away but this news seems to be devasting to them. I can understand that no parents wants their child to live so far away and hardly ever see them but its our lives and our choices and they should accept that.
We are only just about to start out on the road to applying and I don't think that we can cope with them if they continue like this. We though it best to tell them our plans right at the start rather than keeping it all to ourselves and then just telling them when we were going to be going.
I'm hoping that it is just an initial reaction and they will come round to the idea in time.
I'm just wondering if anyone else's families have taken the news that you are moving really badly. How did you deal with it and do you have any tips for us.
Sorry for the long post.
We are just doing all the research at the moment and have contacted migration agents to find out how they can help but we are thinking of going it alone.
Anyway we thought we ought to tell our families our plans. We are thinking that it is going to take at least a year for the application process to go through and we thought that by telling them now they would have more time to get used to the idea. We thought it would be better than just telling them that we've applied, got the visa's and are off in a couple of months time.
My family seem to have dealt with it reasonably well. My parents have family all over the UK and in Canada so are used to not seeing much of everyone. My parents have told us that we are living our lives and we should do whatever we want as you only get one chance. I think that is a fab attitude to have and am very grateful to them for being so understanding.
My husbands family are a whole different breed however. We have only recently told everyone and it went down like a lead balloon. We live very close close to them and they do rely on us a bit I think and they are a very close family. They have visited Oz once to see my mother in law's brother (husbands uncle) and I don't think they liked it that much. So far they have tried all sorts of tactics to try and get us to change our minds. They think that we won't get jobs, won't be able to afford a house, will be homesick etc. Basically they are trying everything they can to talk us out of it. They also seem to think that it is all my idea and I'm taking their son away from them. It was actually him who suggested it in the first place, and we have discussed it in depth before making the decision.
My SIL has also got in on the act and is trying to make my husband feel guilty for wanting to move away from his family. She keeps saying saying things like what will you do if any thing happens to mum and dad and moaning that she will have to deal with it all. I don't they'd be happy if we were only going an hour away but this news seems to be devasting to them. I can understand that no parents wants their child to live so far away and hardly ever see them but its our lives and our choices and they should accept that.
We are only just about to start out on the road to applying and I don't think that we can cope with them if they continue like this. We though it best to tell them our plans right at the start rather than keeping it all to ourselves and then just telling them when we were going to be going.
I'm hoping that it is just an initial reaction and they will come round to the idea in time.
I'm just wondering if anyone else's families have taken the news that you are moving really badly. How did you deal with it and do you have any tips for us.
Sorry for the long post.
May 11th 2006, 7:19 pm
#6
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: was Bradford then poole dorset then Sydney,Forster, Kanwal,Gosford,and now Erina
Posts: 788
Re: Telling family you are hoping to emmigrate
Originally Posted by TeresaG
My husband and I have recently decided to apply to emmigrate to Australia. We've visited and have decided on Brisbane as we really liked it and my husband has an uncle, aunt and cousins there so we're sure a few friendly faces will help to make it all a bit easier.
We are just doing all the research at the moment and have contacted migration agents to find out how they can help but we are thinking of going it alone.
Anyway we thought we ought to tell our families our plans. We are thinking that it is going to take at least a year for the application process to go through and we thought that by telling them now they would have more time to get used to the idea. We thought it would be better than just telling them that we've applied, got the visa's and are off in a couple of months time.
My family seem to have dealt with it reasonably well. My parents have family all over the UK and in Canada so are used to not seeing much of everyone. My parents have told us that we are living our lives and we should do whatever we want as you only get one chance. I think that is a fab attitude to have and am very grateful to them for being so understanding.
My husbands family are a whole different breed however. We have only recently told everyone and it went down like a lead balloon. We live very close close to them and they do rely on us a bit I think and they are a very close family. They have visited Oz once to see my mother in law's brother (husbands uncle) and I don't think they liked it that much. So far they have tried all sorts of tactics to try and get us to change our minds. They think that we won't get jobs, won't be able to afford a house, will be homesick etc. Basically they are trying everything they can to talk us out of it. They also seem to think that it is all my idea and I'm taking their son away from them. It was actually him who suggested it in the first place, and we have discussed it in depth before making the decision.
My SIL has also got in on the act and is trying to make my husband feel guilty for wanting to move away from his family. She keeps saying saying things like what will you do if any thing happens to mum and dad and moaning that she will have to deal with it all. I don't they'd be happy if we were only going an hour away but this news seems to be devasting to them. I can understand that no parents wants their child to live so far away and hardly ever see them but its our lives and our choices and they should accept that.
We are only just about to start out on the road to applying and I don't think that we can cope with them if they continue like this. We though it best to tell them our plans right at the start rather than keeping it all to ourselves and then just telling them when we were going to be going.
I'm hoping that it is just an initial reaction and they will come round to the idea in time.
I'm just wondering if anyone else's families have taken the news that you are moving really badly. How did you deal with it and do you have any tips for us.
Sorry for the long post.
We are just doing all the research at the moment and have contacted migration agents to find out how they can help but we are thinking of going it alone.
Anyway we thought we ought to tell our families our plans. We are thinking that it is going to take at least a year for the application process to go through and we thought that by telling them now they would have more time to get used to the idea. We thought it would be better than just telling them that we've applied, got the visa's and are off in a couple of months time.
My family seem to have dealt with it reasonably well. My parents have family all over the UK and in Canada so are used to not seeing much of everyone. My parents have told us that we are living our lives and we should do whatever we want as you only get one chance. I think that is a fab attitude to have and am very grateful to them for being so understanding.
My husbands family are a whole different breed however. We have only recently told everyone and it went down like a lead balloon. We live very close close to them and they do rely on us a bit I think and they are a very close family. They have visited Oz once to see my mother in law's brother (husbands uncle) and I don't think they liked it that much. So far they have tried all sorts of tactics to try and get us to change our minds. They think that we won't get jobs, won't be able to afford a house, will be homesick etc. Basically they are trying everything they can to talk us out of it. They also seem to think that it is all my idea and I'm taking their son away from them. It was actually him who suggested it in the first place, and we have discussed it in depth before making the decision.
My SIL has also got in on the act and is trying to make my husband feel guilty for wanting to move away from his family. She keeps saying saying things like what will you do if any thing happens to mum and dad and moaning that she will have to deal with it all. I don't they'd be happy if we were only going an hour away but this news seems to be devasting to them. I can understand that no parents wants their child to live so far away and hardly ever see them but its our lives and our choices and they should accept that.
We are only just about to start out on the road to applying and I don't think that we can cope with them if they continue like this. We though it best to tell them our plans right at the start rather than keeping it all to ourselves and then just telling them when we were going to be going.
I'm hoping that it is just an initial reaction and they will come round to the idea in time.
I'm just wondering if anyone else's families have taken the news that you are moving really badly. How did you deal with it and do you have any tips for us.
Sorry for the long post.
Janet
May 11th 2006, 7:22 pm
#7
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 323
Re: Telling family you are hoping to emmigrate
What a lovely reply. Thank you, wish you were my parents!!!! Mine are the same as Teresa's in laws only my parents are trying the emotional stuff with my 11 year old who is hormonal just now and quite a quiet wee girl anyway so moving to the other side of the world as my mother puts it is devastating!
Good luck to all and to you with your visas.
Sandra
Good luck to all and to you with your visas.
Sandra
Originally Posted by budababes
Hi Theresa - "Follow your Dreams". Have just read your thread and it brought back memories of when our son told us he was emigrating with his then girlfriend - now wife. They married in Sydney in Nov 04. I was very sad to lose them to Oz but my husband and I could see that they needed to follow their dream and start a new life in Oz with fantastic opportunities. We gave them our blessing when they left the U.K. in 2002 but Emma's parents were very difficult as your in-laws are being. Said they would never see them again, would never go to Oz etc etc. However four years down the road - Emma's parents now have their Contributory parent visas and will be joining them soon. We are also waiting for our visa to be granted - so you see - lots of opportunities open up in these circumstances. I am sure your in-laws will come round eventually but you must do what you feel is best for you and your husband. "When your dreams take flight, follow them....." Good Luck!! Linda
May 11th 2006, 9:33 pm
#8
Merc Tech
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Lincoln
Posts: 26
Re: Telling family you are hoping to emmigrate
Originally Posted by TeresaG
My husband and I have recently decided to apply to emmigrate to Australia. We've visited and have decided on Brisbane as we really liked it and my husband has an uncle, aunt and cousins there so we're sure a few friendly faces will help to make it all a bit easier.
We are just doing all the research at the moment and have contacted migration agents to find out how they can help but we are thinking of going it alone.
Anyway we thought we ought to tell our families our plans. We are thinking that it is going to take at least a year for the application process to go through and we thought that by telling them now they would have more time to get used to the idea. We thought it would be better than just telling them that we've applied, got the visa's and are off in a couple of months time.
My family seem to have dealt with it reasonably well. My parents have family all over the UK and in Canada so are used to not seeing much of everyone. My parents have told us that we are living our lives and we should do whatever we want as you only get one chance. I think that is a fab attitude to have and am very grateful to them for being so understanding.
My husbands family are a whole different breed however. We have only recently told everyone and it went down like a lead balloon. We live very close close to them and they do rely on us a bit I think and they are a very close family. They have visited Oz once to see my mother in law's brother (husbands uncle) and I don't think they liked it that much. So far they have tried all sorts of tactics to try and get us to change our minds. They think that we won't get jobs, won't be able to afford a house, will be homesick etc. Basically they are trying everything they can to talk us out of it. They also seem to think that it is all my idea and I'm taking their son away from them. It was actually him who suggested it in the first place, and we have discussed it in depth before making the decision.
My SIL has also got in on the act and is trying to make my husband feel guilty for wanting to move away from his family. She keeps saying saying things like what will you do if any thing happens to mum and dad and moaning that she will have to deal with it all. I don't they'd be happy if we were only going an hour away but this news seems to be devasting to them. I can understand that no parents wants their child to live so far away and hardly ever see them but its our lives and our choices and they should accept that.
We are only just about to start out on the road to applying and I don't think that we can cope with them if they continue like this. We though it best to tell them our plans right at the start rather than keeping it all to ourselves and then just telling them when we were going to be going.
I'm hoping that it is just an initial reaction and they will come round to the idea in time.
I'm just wondering if anyone else's families have taken the news that you are moving really badly. How did you deal with it and do you have any tips for us.
Sorry for the long post.
We are just doing all the research at the moment and have contacted migration agents to find out how they can help but we are thinking of going it alone.
Anyway we thought we ought to tell our families our plans. We are thinking that it is going to take at least a year for the application process to go through and we thought that by telling them now they would have more time to get used to the idea. We thought it would be better than just telling them that we've applied, got the visa's and are off in a couple of months time.
My family seem to have dealt with it reasonably well. My parents have family all over the UK and in Canada so are used to not seeing much of everyone. My parents have told us that we are living our lives and we should do whatever we want as you only get one chance. I think that is a fab attitude to have and am very grateful to them for being so understanding.
My husbands family are a whole different breed however. We have only recently told everyone and it went down like a lead balloon. We live very close close to them and they do rely on us a bit I think and they are a very close family. They have visited Oz once to see my mother in law's brother (husbands uncle) and I don't think they liked it that much. So far they have tried all sorts of tactics to try and get us to change our minds. They think that we won't get jobs, won't be able to afford a house, will be homesick etc. Basically they are trying everything they can to talk us out of it. They also seem to think that it is all my idea and I'm taking their son away from them. It was actually him who suggested it in the first place, and we have discussed it in depth before making the decision.
My SIL has also got in on the act and is trying to make my husband feel guilty for wanting to move away from his family. She keeps saying saying things like what will you do if any thing happens to mum and dad and moaning that she will have to deal with it all. I don't they'd be happy if we were only going an hour away but this news seems to be devasting to them. I can understand that no parents wants their child to live so far away and hardly ever see them but its our lives and our choices and they should accept that.
We are only just about to start out on the road to applying and I don't think that we can cope with them if they continue like this. We though it best to tell them our plans right at the start rather than keeping it all to ourselves and then just telling them when we were going to be going.
I'm hoping that it is just an initial reaction and they will come round to the idea in time.
I'm just wondering if anyone else's families have taken the news that you are moving really badly. How did you deal with it and do you have any tips for us.
Sorry for the long post.
May 11th 2006, 11:06 pm
#9
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Sunny Brisbane
Posts: 421
Re: Telling family you are hoping to emmigrate
Hi Teresa,
It's hard when family are like this. I'm sure they will come round a bit in the end & if they don't, at least it will probably make you a bit less bothered about leaving them anyway!
My mum was in denial the whole time,she never really questioned us about going or said anything negative,she just let us get on with it,but then there was no support from her either. I just wanted her to tell me that I was doing the right thing & that she loved me no matter where I was & that she would be happy for me. But I got nothing at all. She didn't even want to come to the airport,we just went round to her house to say good-bye with the kids & she waved us off at the front door,like she did every week. But this was just her way to deal with it.
Husbands mum was complete oposite,she sat me down & did the emotional blackmail bit,taking her granchildren away,had I thought I might never see my mum again,etc.. Same as you really,what about jobs,houses,money. But she's the one with the money in the bank,waiting to buy a plane ticket as soon as we tell her she can come,she's going to be on the plane. She's the one that tells us every week on the phone how much she misses us & the kids.
Different people react differently.
Hope things improve for you soon,there's enough stress coming your way,without all this hassal, but IT WILL BE WORTH IT
It's hard when family are like this. I'm sure they will come round a bit in the end & if they don't, at least it will probably make you a bit less bothered about leaving them anyway!
My mum was in denial the whole time,she never really questioned us about going or said anything negative,she just let us get on with it,but then there was no support from her either. I just wanted her to tell me that I was doing the right thing & that she loved me no matter where I was & that she would be happy for me. But I got nothing at all. She didn't even want to come to the airport,we just went round to her house to say good-bye with the kids & she waved us off at the front door,like she did every week. But this was just her way to deal with it.
Husbands mum was complete oposite,she sat me down & did the emotional blackmail bit,taking her granchildren away,had I thought I might never see my mum again,etc.. Same as you really,what about jobs,houses,money. But she's the one with the money in the bank,waiting to buy a plane ticket as soon as we tell her she can come,she's going to be on the plane. She's the one that tells us every week on the phone how much she misses us & the kids.
Different people react differently.
Hope things improve for you soon,there's enough stress coming your way,without all this hassal, but IT WILL BE WORTH IT
May 11th 2006, 11:25 pm
#10
Can't happen quick enough
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: Just want to be there!!!!
Posts: 70
Re: Telling family you are hoping to emmigrate
Originally Posted by TeresaG
My husband and I have recently decided to apply to emmigrate to Australia. We've visited and have decided on Brisbane as we really liked it and my husband has an uncle, aunt and cousins there so we're sure a few friendly faces will help to make it all a bit easier.
We are just doing all the research at the moment and have contacted migration agents to find out how they can help but we are thinking of going it alone.
Anyway we thought we ought to tell our families our plans. We are thinking that it is going to take at least a year for the application process to go through and we thought that by telling them now they would have more time to get used to the idea. We thought it would be better than just telling them that we've applied, got the visa's and are off in a couple of months time.
My family seem to have dealt with it reasonably well. My parents have family all over the UK and in Canada so are used to not seeing much of everyone. My parents have told us that we are living our lives and we should do whatever we want as you only get one chance. I think that is a fab attitude to have and am very grateful to them for being so understanding.
My husbands family are a whole different breed however. We have only recently told everyone and it went down like a lead balloon. We live very close close to them and they do rely on us a bit I think and they are a very close family. They have visited Oz once to see my mother in law's brother (husbands uncle) and I don't think they liked it that much. So far they have tried all sorts of tactics to try and get us to change our minds. They think that we won't get jobs, won't be able to afford a house, will be homesick etc. Basically they are trying everything they can to talk us out of it. They also seem to think that it is all my idea and I'm taking their son away from them. It was actually him who suggested it in the first place, and we have discussed it in depth before making the decision.
My SIL has also got in on the act and is trying to make my husband feel guilty for wanting to move away from his family. She keeps saying saying things like what will you do if any thing happens to mum and dad and moaning that she will have to deal with it all. I don't they'd be happy if we were only going an hour away but this news seems to be devasting to them. I can understand that no parents wants their child to live so far away and hardly ever see them but its our lives and our choices and they should accept that.
We are only just about to start out on the road to applying and I don't think that we can cope with them if they continue like this. We though it best to tell them our plans right at the start rather than keeping it all to ourselves and then just telling them when we were going to be going.
I'm hoping that it is just an initial reaction and they will come round to the idea in time.
I'm just wondering if anyone else's families have taken the news that you are moving really badly. How did you deal with it and do you have any tips for us.
Sorry for the long post.
We are just doing all the research at the moment and have contacted migration agents to find out how they can help but we are thinking of going it alone.
Anyway we thought we ought to tell our families our plans. We are thinking that it is going to take at least a year for the application process to go through and we thought that by telling them now they would have more time to get used to the idea. We thought it would be better than just telling them that we've applied, got the visa's and are off in a couple of months time.
My family seem to have dealt with it reasonably well. My parents have family all over the UK and in Canada so are used to not seeing much of everyone. My parents have told us that we are living our lives and we should do whatever we want as you only get one chance. I think that is a fab attitude to have and am very grateful to them for being so understanding.
My husbands family are a whole different breed however. We have only recently told everyone and it went down like a lead balloon. We live very close close to them and they do rely on us a bit I think and they are a very close family. They have visited Oz once to see my mother in law's brother (husbands uncle) and I don't think they liked it that much. So far they have tried all sorts of tactics to try and get us to change our minds. They think that we won't get jobs, won't be able to afford a house, will be homesick etc. Basically they are trying everything they can to talk us out of it. They also seem to think that it is all my idea and I'm taking their son away from them. It was actually him who suggested it in the first place, and we have discussed it in depth before making the decision.
My SIL has also got in on the act and is trying to make my husband feel guilty for wanting to move away from his family. She keeps saying saying things like what will you do if any thing happens to mum and dad and moaning that she will have to deal with it all. I don't they'd be happy if we were only going an hour away but this news seems to be devasting to them. I can understand that no parents wants their child to live so far away and hardly ever see them but its our lives and our choices and they should accept that.
We are only just about to start out on the road to applying and I don't think that we can cope with them if they continue like this. We though it best to tell them our plans right at the start rather than keeping it all to ourselves and then just telling them when we were going to be going.
I'm hoping that it is just an initial reaction and they will come round to the idea in time.
I'm just wondering if anyone else's families have taken the news that you are moving really badly. How did you deal with it and do you have any tips for us.
Sorry for the long post.
During the process, I have asked my sister how she felt about us trying to move to Oz and her reply was " uh uh" then she changed the subject.
Bit of a long reply but my point is that you can't please everybody, everytime, so you might as well do what you feel is right- we are!
We just think of the kids having a more outdoors lifestyle in a more relaxed society and know we are doing the right thing.
Our 47sk has just been sent off and we are awaiting the acknowledgement. It's all a big roller coaster ride and we don't want to get off until we get to Oz!!
May 11th 2006, 11:51 pm
#11
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Sunny Brisbane
Posts: 421
Re: Telling family you are hoping to emmigrate
Our 47sk has just been sent off and we are awaiting the acknowledgement. It's all a big roller coaster ride and we don't want to get off until we get to Oz!![/QUOTE]
Hey,you might get off one roller coaster ride when you get here,but you'll be getting right back on another
Hey,you might get off one roller coaster ride when you get here,but you'll be getting right back on another
May 11th 2006, 11:55 pm
#12
Just Joined
Joined: May 2006
Location: Victoria
Posts: 25
Re: Telling family you are hoping to emmigrate
We told both families straight away as we thought it would give them plenty of time to get used to it. My parents, though very elderly, were amazing and so supportive that at one point I wondered if they were trying to get rid of us 
. My partners family couldn't really understand why we were doing it but didn't play any emotional blackmail. We actually keep in touch more now and have more to talk about.
After reading previous posts I think we have been very lucky - I'm sure things will calm down as they start to understand the positives (better life for you, cheap hols etc) and if this is what you really want to do then don't let it stop you, my Mam and Dad were going to emigrate many moons ago but were stopped by family committments and they've regretted it ever since, you only get one chance at life so go for it!!!
Best of luck.
PS I bought lots of webcams as gifts leading up to us going and people were much happier knowing we could still see each other.
. My partners family couldn't really understand why we were doing it but didn't play any emotional blackmail. We actually keep in touch more now and have more to talk about.After reading previous posts I think we have been very lucky - I'm sure things will calm down as they start to understand the positives (better life for you, cheap hols etc) and if this is what you really want to do then don't let it stop you, my Mam and Dad were going to emigrate many moons ago but were stopped by family committments and they've regretted it ever since, you only get one chance at life so go for it!!!
Best of luck.
PS I bought lots of webcams as gifts leading up to us going and people were much happier knowing we could still see each other.
May 12th 2006, 5:23 am
#13
Forum Regular
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 234
Re: Telling family you are hoping to emmigrate
You did the right thing by telling them upfront. I know someone who didn't tell their parents until they had got the visa and they left fairly quickly after that. The family was so upset that they got sick for weeks.
By telling them upfront it gives them a chance to come around, get used to the idea and to spend some time with you before you go.
By telling them upfront it gives them a chance to come around, get used to the idea and to spend some time with you before you go.
May 12th 2006, 5:35 am
#14
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 206
Re: Telling family you are hoping to emmigrate
Originally Posted by Princess Leia
You did the right thing by telling them upfront. I know someone who didn't tell their parents until they had got the visa and they left fairly quickly after that. The family was so upset that they got sick for weeks.
By telling them upfront it gives them a chance to come around, get used to the idea and to spend some time with you before you go.
By telling them upfront it gives them a chance to come around, get used to the idea and to spend some time with you before you go.
Then again my folks moved us around when we were kids to help my dads career and didn’t give 2 f**ks about us kids, so what goes around comes around eventually.
My mum still makes snide comments about Oz but she's the one with the problem as I'm the one who is living here not her.
May 12th 2006, 7:59 am
#15
Chocoholic
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Betchworth, Surrey.
Posts: 2,899
Re: Telling family you are hoping to emmigrate
Hi Teresa,
Your story is EXACTLY, and I mean exactly like yours.
My parents have been incredibly supportive but the inlaws have been awful.
We told them in January last year of our plans. (We should get our visa any day now and hope to move at the end of August). They went very quiet for the first few days and then let us "have it with all guns blazing"
They asked why we hadn't left it to tell them until we had our visa because they wouldn't have had as much time to get so upset. WTF! If we had left it until the last minute we would have been doing the wrong thing too, so we weren't going to win that argument either way.
Since then, the MIL has had a screaming match at me on my doorstep (I let her do all the talking which I think wound her up even more ).
I've been blamed for all of this emigrating lark although it was a totally joint decision between all 5 of us.
I've been slagged off by them all and unfortunately in front of my kids, who at 14, 16 and 17 understand everything. Naturally it has upset them to see me being put down. It has now got to the point where the younger two kids now have no contact with their grandparents, (their choice, not mine), although the eldest sees them occasionally. The inlaws have told the kids not to expect any gifts for birthdays or Christmas in the future.
This has put a huge rift in my marriage unfortunately, but I'm hoping that once we have moved to Oz, things will improve.
I have no advice for you Teresa, except to reiterate what everyone else has been saying on here - it's YOUR life so live it how YOU want to.
Good Luck.
Julie. x
Your story is EXACTLY, and I mean exactly like yours.
My parents have been incredibly supportive but the inlaws have been awful.
We told them in January last year of our plans. (We should get our visa any day now and hope to move at the end of August). They went very quiet for the first few days and then let us "have it with all guns blazing"
They asked why we hadn't left it to tell them until we had our visa because they wouldn't have had as much time to get so upset. WTF! If we had left it until the last minute we would have been doing the wrong thing too, so we weren't going to win that argument either way.
Since then, the MIL has had a screaming match at me on my doorstep (I let her do all the talking which I think wound her up even more
).I've been blamed for all of this emigrating lark although it was a totally joint decision between all 5 of us.
I've been slagged off by them all and unfortunately in front of my kids, who at 14, 16 and 17 understand everything. Naturally it has upset them to see me being put down. It has now got to the point where the younger two kids now have no contact with their grandparents, (their choice, not mine), although the eldest sees them occasionally. The inlaws have told the kids not to expect any gifts for birthdays or Christmas in the future.
This has put a huge rift in my marriage unfortunately, but I'm hoping that once we have moved to Oz, things will improve.
I have no advice for you Teresa, except to reiterate what everyone else has been saying on here - it's YOUR life so live it how YOU want to.
Good Luck.
Julie. x