Tough couple of weeks
Jul 12th 2008, 3:57 pm
#1
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 866
Tough couple of weeks
Have been in Perth for around 4 months now, and have had occasional bouts of homesickness, but have tried to remain positive. It's been hard sometimes, but I feel I've done better than I imagined.
That all changed a couple of weeks ago when I started looking through some photos as I wanted to get some framed etc. I was looking through pictures of my Mum, Dad and Brother....their dogs....their house etc and I came back down to earth with a heavy bump, and have been pretty down since.
It isn't so much about missing them loads (though I do miss them), it's more the fact that I know I won't be seeing them for a long time. They're both of pensioner age, which brings its own fears and I am now constantly worrying about them.
I'm planning on returning for a 2 week visit in November, but then have to go through the whole 'goodbye' thing, which is going to be very difficult for me and them.
I'm enjoying Perth, and the quality of life is far superior to London. But at the moment it's very, very hard. The worst part being that there is nothing I can do to make things feel better.
Sorry for the outpouring, just needed to get it off my chest.
That all changed a couple of weeks ago when I started looking through some photos as I wanted to get some framed etc. I was looking through pictures of my Mum, Dad and Brother....their dogs....their house etc and I came back down to earth with a heavy bump, and have been pretty down since.
It isn't so much about missing them loads (though I do miss them), it's more the fact that I know I won't be seeing them for a long time. They're both of pensioner age, which brings its own fears and I am now constantly worrying about them.
I'm planning on returning for a 2 week visit in November, but then have to go through the whole 'goodbye' thing, which is going to be very difficult for me and them.
I'm enjoying Perth, and the quality of life is far superior to London. But at the moment it's very, very hard. The worst part being that there is nothing I can do to make things feel better.
Sorry for the outpouring, just needed to get it off my chest.
Jul 12th 2008, 9:08 pm
#2
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Perth baby!
Posts: 779
Re: Tough couple of weeks
I am sorry you are feeling that way. Things will get better, it's just a question of time. I have immigrated once already from South Africa to the UK and are in the process of doing it again, from UK to Oz. It was very hard first time round and I have no doubt it will be hard again second time round too.
At the moment though, my focus is a better life for my daughter who is two. Of course we are immigrating for us too, but ultimately it's for her.
I too worry about my parents when we eventually move, but you do also have to do things for yourself and your family. You've taken the massive step of moving and that is a major change and upheaval. That in itself is a big thing nevermind the emotional rollercoaster that goes with it.
You haven't been in Perth long and the more time that passes the more at home and settled you will feel. You need to get out and about and make friends and keep busy. Join a gym or take up some kind of hobby. That is a brilliant way to meet people. Even the BE meetings that are held in Oz. People in a similar situation to yourself who can support you through the hardest times.
Every so often I see something on TV or hear something and I feel homesick. It lasts a little while until normal life resumes and then I forget about it and then get on with things like dinner and shopping and work and so on.
I know you say life in Perth is superior and that you miss your parents but it is more the fact that you won't get to seem them for ages and because of their ages too, but don't dwell on it too much because I think the more you do the more insurmountable the issue becomes. Try to put it to the back of your mind and get on with life. Focus on things that make you happy. Be positive internally, corny I know but a positive inward attitude ie I love my life - often reflects itself in your life.
Your parents wouldn't want you to miss this fantastic opportunity because of them.This is your time now. At least in the UK they will be looked after better than many other places in the world. Maybe you could consider getting them to move out later on?
I hope that you feel better. You will not feel this way forever! In the end it is only money and if you change your mind you can always go back. Just make sure you've given it a fair go otherwise you may end up regretting it later.
Karma sent and best of luck!
At the moment though, my focus is a better life for my daughter who is two. Of course we are immigrating for us too, but ultimately it's for her.
I too worry about my parents when we eventually move, but you do also have to do things for yourself and your family. You've taken the massive step of moving and that is a major change and upheaval. That in itself is a big thing nevermind the emotional rollercoaster that goes with it.
You haven't been in Perth long and the more time that passes the more at home and settled you will feel. You need to get out and about and make friends and keep busy. Join a gym or take up some kind of hobby. That is a brilliant way to meet people. Even the BE meetings that are held in Oz. People in a similar situation to yourself who can support you through the hardest times.
Every so often I see something on TV or hear something and I feel homesick. It lasts a little while until normal life resumes and then I forget about it and then get on with things like dinner and shopping and work and so on.
I know you say life in Perth is superior and that you miss your parents but it is more the fact that you won't get to seem them for ages and because of their ages too, but don't dwell on it too much because I think the more you do the more insurmountable the issue becomes. Try to put it to the back of your mind and get on with life. Focus on things that make you happy. Be positive internally, corny I know but a positive inward attitude ie I love my life - often reflects itself in your life.
Your parents wouldn't want you to miss this fantastic opportunity because of them.This is your time now. At least in the UK they will be looked after better than many other places in the world. Maybe you could consider getting them to move out later on?
I hope that you feel better. You will not feel this way forever! In the end it is only money and if you change your mind you can always go back. Just make sure you've given it a fair go otherwise you may end up regretting it later.
Karma sent and best of luck!
Last edited by Janna and Nick; Jul 12th 2008 at 9:18 pm.
Jul 13th 2008, 2:33 am
#3
Still alive
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 28,994
Re: Tough couple of weeks
Have been in Perth for around 4 months now, and have had occasional bouts of homesickness, but have tried to remain positive. It's been hard sometimes, but I feel I've done better than I imagined.
That all changed a couple of weeks ago when I started looking through some photos as I wanted to get some framed etc. I was looking through pictures of my Mum, Dad and Brother....their dogs....their house etc and I came back down to earth with a heavy bump, and have been pretty down since.
It isn't so much about missing them loads (though I do miss them), it's more the fact that I know I won't be seeing them for a long time. They're both of pensioner age, which brings its own fears and I am now constantly worrying about them.
I'm planning on returning for a 2 week visit in November, but then have to go through the whole 'goodbye' thing, which is going to be very difficult for me and them.
I'm enjoying Perth, and the quality of life is far superior to London. But at the moment it's very, very hard. The worst part being that there is nothing I can do to make things feel better.
Sorry for the outpouring, just needed to get it off my chest.
That all changed a couple of weeks ago when I started looking through some photos as I wanted to get some framed etc. I was looking through pictures of my Mum, Dad and Brother....their dogs....their house etc and I came back down to earth with a heavy bump, and have been pretty down since.
It isn't so much about missing them loads (though I do miss them), it's more the fact that I know I won't be seeing them for a long time. They're both of pensioner age, which brings its own fears and I am now constantly worrying about them.
I'm planning on returning for a 2 week visit in November, but then have to go through the whole 'goodbye' thing, which is going to be very difficult for me and them.
I'm enjoying Perth, and the quality of life is far superior to London. But at the moment it's very, very hard. The worst part being that there is nothing I can do to make things feel better.
Sorry for the outpouring, just needed to get it off my chest.
Come out, meet some people and have a good day out forgetting your troubles.
Jul 13th 2008, 3:13 am
#4
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Perth
Posts: 3,453
Re: Tough couple of weeks
Definitely.
I feel more homesick in June, July and August than at any other time of year. Thank God the weather's crap in England at the minute.
When I lived in SE Asia, I never felt homesick - presumably because the weather was fantastic all year! (That's how shallow I am folks!!)
I know leaving the UK will be hard after the OP's visit but I reckon October and November is the best time to visit the UK. Always sad when leaving but landing in glorious sunshine followed by a walk along the beach and good coffee always helps.
I feel more homesick in June, July and August than at any other time of year. Thank God the weather's crap in England at the minute.
When I lived in SE Asia, I never felt homesick - presumably because the weather was fantastic all year! (That's how shallow I am folks!!)
I know leaving the UK will be hard after the OP's visit but I reckon October and November is the best time to visit the UK. Always sad when leaving but landing in glorious sunshine followed by a walk along the beach and good coffee always helps.
Jul 13th 2008, 5:47 am
#5
Just Joined
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: Victoria Point - Redlandshire, QLD
Posts: 11
Re: Tough couple of weeks
I completely empathise with you!
Been in brizzy for 1 year, and felt so content untill last couple of months. I have had 2 family visits (both sets of parents), and i learnt after the 1st visit that the 2 days of solid crying/regrets/guilt seem to drift away again after a couple of days of "normal" life. When it came to the 2nd time, the same happened - i went with it, i knew what to expect, and quickley returned to normal.
Be sure to constantly remind yourself of the reasons you left the Uk, and although i look back through "rose-tinted" glasses, i also remember the constant gripes we had with work/money etc. The time we actually spent with parents/family was often rushed and was not quality time......if we returned now, it would all slip back to how it was!
I have always found it easy to make good friends etc, but there is no denying that Aussies are different, with different humour/expectations/social life etc.....and how many people are looking for new frienships in their 30's? We are finding it difficult to make good friends, and now understand why the expats all club together.......often crave some british humour. This is my first big jump at changing that, as just joined site today!
I'm also looking at changing career/job & even state in the near future.....you should rule out the fact that one of these isn't right rather than give up on Oz.
The bottom line is......you have made a massive jump, and if you can get through that, then you can change anything!
As for moving back to the UK, then make sure you have a good savings account so you know it is possible to get back in a hurry. If you continue to feel sad, then maybe where you are now is not the right place....just keep an open mind, and be proud you've had the experience!
Stay positive...and best of luck
Been in brizzy for 1 year, and felt so content untill last couple of months. I have had 2 family visits (both sets of parents), and i learnt after the 1st visit that the 2 days of solid crying/regrets/guilt seem to drift away again after a couple of days of "normal" life. When it came to the 2nd time, the same happened - i went with it, i knew what to expect, and quickley returned to normal.
Be sure to constantly remind yourself of the reasons you left the Uk, and although i look back through "rose-tinted" glasses, i also remember the constant gripes we had with work/money etc. The time we actually spent with parents/family was often rushed and was not quality time......if we returned now, it would all slip back to how it was!
I have always found it easy to make good friends etc, but there is no denying that Aussies are different, with different humour/expectations/social life etc.....and how many people are looking for new frienships in their 30's? We are finding it difficult to make good friends, and now understand why the expats all club together.......often crave some british humour. This is my first big jump at changing that, as just joined site today!
I'm also looking at changing career/job & even state in the near future.....you should rule out the fact that one of these isn't right rather than give up on Oz.
The bottom line is......you have made a massive jump, and if you can get through that, then you can change anything!
As for moving back to the UK, then make sure you have a good savings account so you know it is possible to get back in a hurry. If you continue to feel sad, then maybe where you are now is not the right place....just keep an open mind, and be proud you've had the experience!
Stay positive...and best of luck
