roaringmouse

Agree with you! Same for us, my wife being from Australia.

Our kids are still pre-school, and we moved to Australia almost 5 years ago to spend time here and decide which country to settle in. We need to finalise that decision this year really, which is made difficult because there are things that we both like and dislike about both countries (not to mention family pressure from both sides on where to live, but mainly from the Australian one by a long way).

KJCherokee

What does your partner think about this?

And I'm from the UK and married to a 5th generation Australian, but I don't think of it as a 'mixed race ' marriage.

moneypenny20

Was she asking for sympathy? If you're going to get personal and judgemental you could at least check out her history beforehand. If you can't be arsed to do that, don't make assumptions.

Penny45

People who have the opportunity to come to Australia probably should take it - otherwise you'd always be thinking 'why didn't I?'. What's life without trying new things? Sometimes they work out and sometimes not but at least you had a go. For me, it's not so much 'hating Australia', just the pull of things back home is too strong. Yes, we could all 'make a go of it' but if you've tried for a number of years and it still isn't 'home' then there's nothing wrong in wanting to leave.

Famous 5

I couldn't agree more.

For me, making a decision about moving back to the UK is proving to be much harder than the decision to come to Australia in the first place - there are so many reasons not to go back, not least that my oldest is happily settled at uni and wants to make a life here (but secretly I'm hoping that the attractions of Europe will be too strong in the end). That said, the UK exerts a strong pull for me and my OH and at the end of this year there is a chance to make it happen without messing up our middle child's education.

I am glad I came to Australia, otherwise I would always have wondered "what if" and as a family we have had some great experiences and learnt a great deal about ourselves. I've had doubts from early on about whether this could be forever, but after six years I think I have given Australia a fair go and perhaps now it is time to start planning the next move.

brissybee

There are lots of reasons why people end up in Australia and want to leave.

I am in the same boat as the OP, waiting for the right time with kids, to go and spend some time back in the UK.

I was forced to move to Australia as a teenager, against my will, and have spent many years trying to believe the line that "we would have a better life" in Australia.

To disbelieve this line meant walking away from what remained of my family unit. So, even though I hated the heat and the lack of culture and global isolation, I stuck it out.

However, I have reached a stage in my life when I realise some things need to be addressed. So, I want to spend time back in the UK, as an adult... to make up my own mind about where I want to live.

This is my right... and I have yet to understand why there are people out there who find the desire to exercise such a right so offensive.

jad n rich

He and I find the cultural differences huge. Glaringly obvious at times we are from totally different backgrounds. And why not call it mixed race, we are mixed race, you dont have to be different colours to be a different race.

10 years ago, with a business and 3 small kids we had a great deal in common. You are really too busy to be that different.

As kids become teens and you find yourself faced with each other more and more, differences become more obvious. For eg I really believed he hated the heat, but when it comes down to it, although he does hate it, he also hates cold. With me, I would happily never see a aussie summer again, mainly as it now causes me health problems.

I crave the diversity of UK Europe America. He in true aussie format would love to move somewhere less busy!!

The fact remains he spent many many years being an aussie before he met me, its influences, his families ways, history, as I did being a Brit. There are differences that will never be ironed out, differences that are bred in.

Like the previous poster there are things we both love/hate about either country. Compromise will always be one persons baggage.

I dont regret coming to Aus, there are far far worse places to live, in fact we were very successful here and have seen more of aus than most aussies will even dream of. But quite simply I feel one decade and a bit was enough for me personally.

I find it very helpful to know out there, others are doing the same grind. The last two days, a few people on here have made me laugh or realise my 612 days is not that long. But I could hardly go into work - all aussies and shout " I am so bloody over this place ive attached a countdown till I get out" could I?

That is where BE is bloody marvellous

KJCherokee

OK, I'm now understanding where you are coming from, and I can certainly understand brissybee wanting to make her own decision after being brought out here as a teenager: my two daughters were brought out at 5 & 3 and have never really known anything different, and they are now firmly Australian as are their husbands and children.

There are plenty of things I miss about the UK - the pubs and beer especially, and the range of choice in Sainsburys - but I've found that each time I go back for a visit I'm glad to come back home to Australia. How often have you been back since you arrived here? Are you sure that what you are craving for really exists, or is it a memory viewed through rose-coloured glasses? Do you have close family in the UK?

We are all different and have different needs and viewpoints - I respect your right to have yours even if I don't agree with it. It seems your biggest problem is working out a compromise with your husband and your children, and I don't think anyone on BE can really help you with that.

jad n rich

I dont think anybody on BE thinks other members can sort out their life

However I do relate/connect/get what other posters have said. It helps you reflect on your own life. Put it into perspective perhaps and the big one - knowing you one of many people feeling this way. again what BE is great for.

I go to USA/Canada or UK alternate years. I fully appreciate that the cost of that is not what the average migrant could afford with a family of five as I say I appreciate we have done well here.

Far from rose tinted glasses, I aim to move from a scenic beautiful place with a good income to one of two places ( depending on visas ) that have very real issues. If I was looking for rose tints, the life I have here is probably what I would keep, but I prefer something more gritty.

I am the opposite to you. After a trip overseas I DREAD the return, as soon as I board the plane I know its not really where I should be heading.

Anyway I am glad you have come to understand what so many people are saying here.

ozzieeagle

Turning out to be an interesting thread this with 5 of us at least now with similar circumstances. 6 if you include Quoll who has departed for now.

For me I reckon I've come back around to KC Cherokee's point. I definitely feel more affinity with My Aus wife than any other person in my life and dont feel it's a mixed marriage at all. We did meet very young though... me at 22 and her at 20 so that may make the difference.

Just goes to show that given similar circumstances almost everyone will come out with a different outcome.

I just wish I could get rid of this nagging thing about missing Europe though. Last trip to the UK helped put that to bed for a while though.

Have a look at Hobart Jad... I know your partner says he doesnt like the cold... but it's actually warmer than a lot of Cities in Victoria in the winter. I'm definitely going to give it some serious consideration, being so close to Melbourne helps it's cause as well, . My main aim is to cash up as much as possible and to find a cheap base somewhere, so we can travel as much as possible. ... Hobart may fit that need. For all I know, we may not even have a base for a while.

jad n rich

Tasmania is beautiful, we both love it. But for me I need the diversity of USA and UK. We drove in USA for 3 weeks, partner was stunned what we would see each day compared to a 10 hour drive in OZ. Its the diversity Also rather wowed at the cost of everything, we could live like kings there on aussie savings, medical insurance would be the main issue of course .

I am really lucky the youngest will be finished school at 17, he is also getting some really excellent assignment and exam results back, the fact he is working so hard and understands the exit plan is really good, as you know teengers are not always so co operative.

Just wish I could get rid of the urge to see/do something different more often. The crazy price of travel here doesnt help either. Still pondering the easter trip, will probably be the ute, the dogs, the tent and head west to avoid the easter traffic, and stare at some red dirt again

The take on my term mixed marriage is really interesting. I really do feel the different race thing. But seriously you should see some of my aussie relatives, some would fit into a 1970 paul hogan sketch. Classic classic experience, BBQ with VB or XXXX and the conversation about Ford V Holden. Or the terribly terribly snobby melbourne MIL ( passed on now but the hycynth bucket of melby society). All part of the package LOL

papilon

My wife went to uni in London from overseas, did an MBA and a PHD about 5 years all up and managed to get scholarships for the duration, didn't cost her anything and she even managed to save some of the money. She is bloody tight tho

ozzieeagle

Thats good to read, Must show my Daughter. Thanks

Penny45

[QUOTE=jad n rich;9966401
I am the opposite to you. After a trip overseas I DREAD the return, as soon as I board the plane I know its not really where I should be heading.

Anyway I am glad you have come to understand what so many people are saying here.[/QUOTE]

I've been back 7 times since 2006, each time at least a month. In 2010, after being home for 3 months, I had complete breakdown at departure gate at Heathrow. Crying so much, all the staff though I had fear of flying! They got me on the plane and gave me HUGE Baileys which knocked me out! Just the thought of being so isolated from the rest of the world again (after taking kids to Italy/Scotland/England/Germany/Austria in 3 months) make me freak out. I TOTALLY get what you mean about the landscape

Turban Explorer

I know what you mean. Last year when we arrived back in Coolangatta I blubbed through the quarantine experience. The guy spent more time searching my bag as he obviously thought I was sobbing as I was a drugs mule...

Finally there is an end in sight for us so this year I hope I'll hold it together.