Our Australian adventure is over…. And so early!!
May 21st 2010, 9:06 am
#91
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2006
Location: Chermside West, Brisbane
Posts: 584
Re: Our Australian adventure is over…. And so early!!
If I were you I would send my wife and daughter back to the UK if possible for a long holiday (couple of months) where I think after seeing all the people she's missing and the UK warts and all she will realise that Australia although hard is maybe not too bad after all. I have told my wife that if she is ever really bad with home sickness that I would send her back home for a holiday but keep my boys here with me and I guarantee that after a week away she'd be itching to get back to us and to Australia.
This is only a suggestion and whatever you do I sincerely hope you all find happiness and contentment. Good luck.
This is only a suggestion and whatever you do I sincerely hope you all find happiness and contentment. Good luck.
May 21st 2010, 10:08 am
#92
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Canberra
Posts: 8,378
Re: Our Australian adventure is over…. And so early!!
If I were you I would send my wife and daughter back to the UK if possible for a long holiday (couple of months) where I think after seeing all the people she's missing and the UK warts and all she will realise that Australia although hard is maybe not too bad after all. I have told my wife that if she is ever really bad with home sickness that I would send her back home for a holiday but keep my boys here with me and I guarantee that after a week away she'd be itching to get back to us and to Australia.
This is only a suggestion and whatever you do I sincerely hope you all find happiness and contentment. Good luck.
This is only a suggestion and whatever you do I sincerely hope you all find happiness and contentment. Good luck.
May 21st 2010, 11:40 am
#93
not sure...
Joined: May 2007
Location: out in the boonies
Posts: 1,537
Re: Our Australian adventure is over…. And so early!!
It's worth a try though surely? Before upping sticks and moving all the way back home before she's even given it a proper go? If the OP's missus is really down there's a strong chance she's viewing everything she left behind with massive rose coloured glasses. Maybe a chance to actually go back and see first hand what they'd be going back to she might view life in Oz differently and actually give it a proper go before giving up?
This worked when my DH and I moved to London. He hated it at first and started going on about our wee life and our little flat and 'all' our friends in Scotland etc etc, totally romanticising the whole thing. We went back for a weekend and by the Saturday night he was saying 'can't WAIT to get back to London'!
Tx
This worked when my DH and I moved to London. He hated it at first and started going on about our wee life and our little flat and 'all' our friends in Scotland etc etc, totally romanticising the whole thing. We went back for a weekend and by the Saturday night he was saying 'can't WAIT to get back to London'!
Tx
May 21st 2010, 1:57 pm
#94
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,594
Re: Our Australian adventure is over…. And so early!!
I think you are wise to wait until the house is re-let. You could very well be on the hook for the whole thing. When we finished our lease, we had a walk through with the agent. We thought everything was fine. She mentioned a few things that needed tending to, which we agreed to pay someone to do. We paid, but the REA tried to keep 1/2 of the bond anyway. We fought her for it - calling long distance from the US to the board to make our case. The case was dismissed and we received all our bond back. But you cannot be too cautious when leaving country.
In the meantime, while you're waiting, go forward with your new license and find a job you'll like. It might be that you'll end up back in Australia in the end....sometime in the distant future....
In the meantime, while you're waiting, go forward with your new license and find a job you'll like. It might be that you'll end up back in Australia in the end....sometime in the distant future....
May 25th 2010, 12:54 pm
#95
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 127
Re: Our Australian adventure is over…. And so early!!
Hi Andrew
I have had a similar experience to you.
Please send her back for a holiday before you make any major decisions ....in the winter .
Good luck
I have had a similar experience to you.
Please send her back for a holiday before you make any major decisions ....in the winter .
Good luck
May 25th 2010, 9:20 pm
#96
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Canberra
Posts: 8,378
Re: Our Australian adventure is over…. And so early!!
I'm really intrigued as to why the OP HAS to make his wife like something that she obviously doesnt. Sure, it's very sad that things havent worked out well here but if she doesnt like it and doesnt want to be here why should she be coerced and blackmailed into staying? I feel really sorry when one person likes it and the other doesnt, one of them is always going to be out of place and it comes down to who can bear the out of place-ness better. In this case kudos to the OP for sticking with his wife who is obviously not the one who can bear the displacement the best. There is nothing in the rule book that says she has to like Australia and think it the best thing since sliced bread.
May 26th 2010, 6:35 am
#97
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,814
Re: Our Australian adventure is over…. And so early!!
Best time to go, crisp cold morning, snow, frost, beautiful grey skies......sounds perfect to me, I love going home in winter.
May 26th 2010, 6:48 am
#98
Pie Eater
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: South Australia
Posts: 770
Re: Our Australian adventure is over…. And so early!!
May 26th 2010, 6:51 am
#99
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Tropical North QLD
Posts: 21,434
Re: Our Australian adventure is over…. And so early!!
Each to their own!
May 26th 2010, 8:08 am
#100
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: Canada->WA->Melbourne
Posts: 1,612
Re: Our Australian adventure is over…. And so early!!
Hi all again and keep the support coming; now that we have made the decision to return I can’t say that things are easier.
Firstly; we now find that we are trying to get our Secret Harbour rental rented out at what our agent describes as “not the best time of year to be looking to rent a beach suburb house”
I have told my OH that I will not leave until a new tenant has been signed up for this place; reason being, I’d be forever worried that we would get a knock on the door in the uk from bailiffs - acting on behalf of the owner - due to damage done to the property whilst it was vacant. I would also need to deposit the full rental amount into the agents trust account and he would then continue to pay our rent until it has been re-leased (almost $15k)…. And before you all say “just walk away” we are (and always have been) totally honest people and it is not in our nature to do things not by the book… besides; the agent has our address of our uk home!
Secondly; me and my youngest still want to stay, I know we’re going to have to “bite the bullitt” soon enough but is it so wrong to want to try and stay as long as possible? In fact if our girls didn’t have to be back for school exams or if I didn’t have to get back soon to ensure my old job is still available; then I would probably say to the family that we are going to try to last till nearer the end of the rental agreement (both here and in the uk). Tracey keeps telling me how her friends (Found as a result of BE) are also keen to return to the uk but will stay for at least 12 months… something I cannot do unfortunately.
My TRA certificate finally came through.. Whoopee… shame I didn’t get it quick enough for me to actually reap the rewards of it!
As a family we’re still having good weekends; it’s just the week days that are killing us, Tracey because she is not only staring at 4 walls but she‘s getting colder doing it!!! . Our eldest daughter also hates her school and wants to leave.
I think our biggest worry though is; for Tracey, she is scared that I’ll resent her for going back and as much as I say “that won’t happen” I also worry that one day I’ll be sitting in heavy traffic trying to get home from work and think “why on earth did I come back”!!
I have told Tracey that I do not mind going back - during my upbringing I was always being moved from one place to another so another trip doesn’t worry me - but I do worry that the timing isn’t right, we gave up our lovely animals to try this adventure out, I feel we owe it to them to give it longer.
Scary times are still ahead of us I feel!!!
Firstly; we now find that we are trying to get our Secret Harbour rental rented out at what our agent describes as “not the best time of year to be looking to rent a beach suburb house”
I have told my OH that I will not leave until a new tenant has been signed up for this place; reason being, I’d be forever worried that we would get a knock on the door in the uk from bailiffs - acting on behalf of the owner - due to damage done to the property whilst it was vacant. I would also need to deposit the full rental amount into the agents trust account and he would then continue to pay our rent until it has been re-leased (almost $15k)…. And before you all say “just walk away” we are (and always have been) totally honest people and it is not in our nature to do things not by the book… besides; the agent has our address of our uk home!
Secondly; me and my youngest still want to stay, I know we’re going to have to “bite the bullitt” soon enough but is it so wrong to want to try and stay as long as possible? In fact if our girls didn’t have to be back for school exams or if I didn’t have to get back soon to ensure my old job is still available; then I would probably say to the family that we are going to try to last till nearer the end of the rental agreement (both here and in the uk). Tracey keeps telling me how her friends (Found as a result of BE) are also keen to return to the uk but will stay for at least 12 months… something I cannot do unfortunately.
My TRA certificate finally came through.. Whoopee… shame I didn’t get it quick enough for me to actually reap the rewards of it!
As a family we’re still having good weekends; it’s just the week days that are killing us, Tracey because she is not only staring at 4 walls but she‘s getting colder doing it!!! . Our eldest daughter also hates her school and wants to leave.
I think our biggest worry though is; for Tracey, she is scared that I’ll resent her for going back and as much as I say “that won’t happen” I also worry that one day I’ll be sitting in heavy traffic trying to get home from work and think “why on earth did I come back”!!
I have told Tracey that I do not mind going back - during my upbringing I was always being moved from one place to another so another trip doesn’t worry me - but I do worry that the timing isn’t right, we gave up our lovely animals to try this adventure out, I feel we owe it to them to give it longer.
Scary times are still ahead of us I feel!!!
Then about two months ago, I noticed that I didn't "hate" it here any longer. And that I actually liked aspects of living here. No, it wasn't like home, but it was a new home, and it started to grow on me. Making new friends helped. Getting involved in community activities, that kind of stuff.
If you are going back, make sure you're doing it for the right reasons, whatever they may be for you. I know for us, as much as we miss family and love them--my husband is quite close to his family and I talk almost daily with my mother--we would not move back for them. We'd have to spend tens of thousands of dollars to do a return move and to do it for them, well that places a lot of pressure on them..."Hey, we moved back to be with you all! Make sure you come over every weekend!" I know in our regular life back in Canada, we saw some extended family in person maybe once a month...if that, even though we'd chat on the phone every couple of days. So, even though we love and miss them, I wouldn't expect them to act any differently once we moved back.
It helps in our case that we know exactly what we'd be going back to...same old same old job for my husband. Six to seven months a year of snow on the ground. The city we left...we were more than ready to move away from, so we really don't want to move back there, even if most of our family lives there. Do whatever you're going to regret less...and good luck either way.
Last edited by Japonica; May 26th 2010 at 8:24 am.
May 26th 2010, 8:15 am
#101
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 127
Re: Our Australian adventure is over…. And so early!!
May 26th 2010, 8:22 am
#102
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Dec 2007
Location: Northants (though hopefully not forever!)
Posts: 636
Re: Our Australian adventure is over…. And so early!!
Oh if only UK winters were really like that... where we live we're lucky to get a decent dump of snow - most of the time it's bitterly cold (a wet cold mind, not a nice 'dry' one like in Canada) and p*ssing it down with rain every other day - oh and don't forget the wind!
May 26th 2010, 11:47 am
#103
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: Our Australian adventure is over…. And so early!!
May 26th 2010, 11:57 am
#104
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 127
Re: Our Australian adventure is over…. And so early!!
Out of interest whereabouts are you? I only ask because I can say hand on heart in the almost five years I've been here I haven't experienced that. However I would be more than happy to see blue skies all day every day but it's not happened yet. We all want different things and for me the English winter was too much the same thing for too much of the time but it wasn't the 'thing' I wanted.
At the moment we're in East Anglia U.k after living in Perth for 4 years . We came back early December 09 and it has been the winter from hell . There was a point when we literally saw the sun twice in about 8 weeks .
I guess when you live here you don't notice it , but after Perth , i can't do another winter and we're on the way back . You can say weather isn't everything but with two sporty boys and a similar Dad , we like being outside and away from the wiii console!!
Perth here we come , cheers
Dave
May 26th 2010, 12:03 pm
#105
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: Our Australian adventure is over…. And so early!!
Hi
At the moment we're in East Anglia U.k after living in Perth for 4 years . We came back early December 09 and it has been the winter from hell . There was a point when we literally saw the sun twice in about 8 weeks .
I guess when you live here you don't notice it , but after Perth , i can't do another winter and we're on the way back . You can say weather isn't everything but with two sporty boys and a similar Dad , we like being outside and away from the wiii console!!
Perth here we come , cheers
Dave
At the moment we're in East Anglia U.k after living in Perth for 4 years . We came back early December 09 and it has been the winter from hell . There was a point when we literally saw the sun twice in about 8 weeks .
I guess when you live here you don't notice it , but after Perth , i can't do another winter and we're on the way back . You can say weather isn't everything but with two sporty boys and a similar Dad , we like being outside and away from the wiii console!!
Perth here we come , cheers
Dave
I think if I had had to experience your last winter I would have topped myself. A couple of weeks, possibly even a month, would be lovely but more than that? Nah, not a chance. Good luck with the move.