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Old Oct 14th 2017, 12:12 pm   #31
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Default Re: Is one year enough?

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Originally Posted by jon111 View Post
or maybe its just that i havnt made the move yet so have no way of comparing.
Yup.

If you feel a valid comparison is moving between Scotland and England, you are going to be in for a huge shock. You are not moving to a little slice of the UK in the South Seas.

Your post came off as naive and condescending. I suggest a lot more empathy for the other posters in this forum.

I have also seen, in person and on this forum, many people arrive, have a good start and get happy-clappy, and then have enormous difficulties in Year 2, Year 3 or beyond that broadside them because they thought the "hard yards" were done. So yes I think, based on the experiences of many, many others, that it's too early to declare Australia "home" after what was it 6 months? 9 months?

PS - I am quite happy here. But I am also realistic about the statistics and experiences of others.
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Old Oct 14th 2017, 12:42 pm   #32
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Default Re: Is one year enough?

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when in the military when on long tours i got told by an old marine everyone has down days or weeks but some people can just drip/moan for the world constantly. Stay away from these people they will only drag you down as well. and he was right people like that dont do your own moral any good. so its probably similar when living in another country if you have close friends that still there longing for and moaning for home thats not going to do you any good either.
Most of my friends here over the years have been migrants, met through the forum, and almost all of them have been perfectly happy, settled straightaway. If other people were affecting my feelings about settling then I would have been perfectly happy from day one, no-one has worn away my love for the place with drips or moans.
If it doesn't work, then it doesn't work, no amount of people telling you how good the place is can change your own inner feelngs.

This is not Scotland, you can't jump on a train and be home in an hour or so.
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Old Oct 14th 2017, 1:22 pm   #33
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Default Re: Is one year enough?

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Originally Posted by carcajou View Post
Yup.

If you feel a valid comparison is moving between Scotland and England, you are going to be in for a huge shock. You are not moving to a little slice of the UK in the South Seas.

Your post came off as naive and condescending. I suggest a lot more empathy for the other posters in this forum.

I have also seen, in person and on this forum, many people arrive, have a good start and get happy-clappy, and then have enormous difficulties in Year 2, Year 3 or beyond that broadside them because they thought the "hard yards" were done. So yes I think, based on the experiences of many, many others, that it's too early to declare Australia "home" after what was it 6 months? 9 months?

PS - I am quite happy here. But I am also realistic about the statistics and experiences of others.

you have also misunderstood my explaining of my mothers constant moves. my point was she has never felt settled in scotland or england. nothing to do with distance lifestyle etc etc. the only comparison i was making was the 'feeling' of being settled. so maybe people are the same the world over for those that emigrate or leave their respective country and struggle to feel settled.

Also the question was open ended for a debate, you think it not long enough and my friends think it was. although i dont doubt at some point they had their moments.

well strangely i seen your second post as condescending but didnt say as thought it rude but there you go. some people believe 9 months is enough.
each persons perspective is just that theirs and neither right nor wrong.

Last edited by jon111; Oct 14th 2017 at 1:39 pm.
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Old Oct 14th 2017, 1:29 pm   #34
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Default Re: Is one year enough?

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Originally Posted by Pollyana View Post
Most of my friends here over the years have been migrants, met through the forum, and almost all of them have been perfectly happy, settled straightaway. If other people were affecting my feelings about settling then I would have been perfectly happy from day one, no-one has worn away my love for the place with drips or moans.
If it doesn't work, then it doesn't work, no amount of people telling you how good the place is can change your own inner feelngs.

This is not Scotland, you can't jump on a train and be home in an hour or so.
Then you are lucky to have a strong constitution, i have seen plenty of folk be dragged down by drips.

in my opinion your own inner feelings can be changed by experiences and people you meet. for example if i landed in aus met a load of lovely people loved the area it would make me want to stay. if i landed had nothing but a torrid time with people in an area i didnt like it wouldnt encourage me to stay.

also again i think you have looked at my post referencing scotland to england wasnt about the distance or lifestyle etc etc it was about the feeling of being 'settled' although your the second person to say this so maybe i should have explained more. but there you go only so much to can explain in a post
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Old Oct 14th 2017, 1:49 pm   #35
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Default Re: Is one year enough?

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Originally Posted by carcajou View Post

PS - I am quite happy here. But I am also realistic about the statistics and experiences of others.

well thats good that you are happy. and statistics are interesting arnt they 50% come back to uk. do you know the main reason? i dont remember seeing a statistic on that.

i like to look on the bright side of life and hope when i move it works. sure wont be easy but very little is now days and if it doesnt work i can always return.

experiences of others is an interesting one. if i did 10 amazing things and one very stupid thing everyone would talk about the stupid thing and forget the amazing things. human nature i believe.
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Old Oct 14th 2017, 3:52 pm   #36
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Default Re: Is one year enough?

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Originally Posted by jon111 View Post
well thats good that you are happy. and statistics are interesting arnt they 50% come back to uk. do you know the main reason? i dont remember seeing a statistic on that.

i like to look on the bright side of life and hope when i move it works. sure wont be easy but very little is now days and if it doesnt work i can always return.

experiences of others is an interesting one. if i did 10 amazing things and one very stupid thing everyone would talk about the stupid thing and forget the amazing things. human nature i believe.
I am someone who has and still does mod on forums for many years. I have also moved to Oz and returned.

The main reason people return can be boiled down to one simple and thing. It's no better.

I have lived in 13 countries. My wife a few less, though want born in the UK. Our move was almost accidental - I was head hunted by an Oz company, forgot about it until the day before the move and came home to find boxes packed!

The reason we returned was work. Or lack of. That was after eight years.

In my experience people who return put is down mainly to missing friends and family. As well as culture and others. I could have easily have put it down to weather - I hated the heat. But, it boils down to the same thing. People move to the other side of the world with expectations of a better life. Find actually, it isn't, then sit back and go well, I am no better than previous, I earn less, I have less time off and I have no friends and family. What's the point? Even the sun lovers often get disheartened. For example, WA. Hot summer, but cold winter in houses only designed for summer, so no heating or insulation. Or in places like QLD have cyclones.
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Old Oct 15th 2017, 1:26 am   #37
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Default Re: Is one year enough?

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Originally Posted by verystormy View Post
People move to the other side of the world with expectations of a better life. Find actually, it isn't, then sit back and go well, I am no better than previous, I earn less, I have less time off and I have no friends and family. What's the point? Even the sun lovers often get disheartened.
Just to clarify, this is you and not the general?

You write it like its the general but this is you and your constant moan.

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For example, WA. Hot summer, but cold winter in houses only designed for summer, so no heating or insulation. Or in places like QLD have cyclones.
Small populations in these areas - in the rest of Australia, we are fine.
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Old Oct 15th 2017, 1:56 am   #38
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Default Re: Is one year enough?

Some people are happy living here from the outset and that never changes

Some people hate living here from the outset and that never changes

Some people begin by feeling happy living here, but for various reasons, over a various number of years, don't want to live here anymore so leave

Some people begin by not feeling happy living here, but for various reasons, over a various number of years, become happy with living here and don't leave

Anything else is just an individual's opinion
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Old Oct 15th 2017, 5:34 am   #39
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Default Re: Is one year enough?

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Originally Posted by spouse of scouse View Post
Some people are happy living here from the outset and that never changes

Some people hate living here from the outset and that never changes

Some people begin by feeling happy living here, but for various reasons, over a various number of years, don't want to live here anymore so leave

Some people begin by not feeling happy living here, but for various reasons, over a various number of years, become happy with living here and don't leave

Anything else is just an individual's opinion

This should go in a sticky.
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Old Oct 15th 2017, 4:08 pm   #40
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Default Re: Is one year enough?

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This should go in a sticky.
Absolutely
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Old Oct 16th 2017, 11:53 pm   #41
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Default Re: Is one year enough?

Very interesting read. I'm going to ask my friend to read this - to me it comes down to each individual. Everyone has different experiences. Thanks all for the input
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Old Oct 17th 2017, 12:33 am   #42
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Default Re: Is one year enough?

I settled into Adelaide activities, working and sport very quickly, but still returned to England when my 2 years were up. A year later I was back in Adelaide, and apart from long holidays and work commitments, stayed for half a century.

I played sport at a high level so that made a difference, and of course my parents and two sisters and their families also emigrated to Adelaide. I’ve never understood the sobbing on “Wanted Down Under” programmes when families and friends act as if the participants are setting off on a one way trip to Mars, it is quite cheap and quick to fly these days. My early trips between England and Oz were by ship taking a month, 23 hours by plane is a doddle.

I’ve been back in my home town in Devon for nearly 6 years, but I’m not happy at all.
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Old Oct 17th 2017, 12:52 am   #43
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Default Re: Is one year enough?

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Originally Posted by spouse of scouse View Post
Some people are happy living here from the outset and that never changes

Some people hate living here from the outset and that never changes

Some people begin by feeling happy living here, but for various reasons, over a various number of years, don't want to live here anymore so leave

Some people begin by not feeling happy living here, but for various reasons, over a various number of years, become happy with living here and don't leave

Anything else is just an individual's opinion
This

The angst and hand-wringing (and whinging) on here of people who are not happy with their emigration situation is bizarre and somewhat pathetic - if whatever you have chosen is not working for you, change it

Life's too short to live it unhappily
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Old Oct 17th 2017, 1:38 am   #44
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Default Re: Is one year enough?

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The angst and hand-wringing (and whinging) on here of people who are not happy with their emigration situation is bizarre and somewhat pathetic - if whatever you have chosen is not working for you, change it

Life's too short to live it unhappily
Yes, happiness is worth striving for. Not always as simple as just upping stakes and moving on though.

Interesting that you see people's posts about not being happy in their location as hand wringing and whinging. I see such posts as people simply talking about their current situation.
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Old Oct 17th 2017, 4:49 am   #45
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Default Re: Is one year enough?

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Originally Posted by spouse of scouse View Post
I see such posts as people simply talking about their current situation.
I agree with you in some cases but others who have been unhappy for many years, that's a different story
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