Ginger1002

Hi,
Just after a bit of advice. My background is moved from UK to Oz in 2006. Had a business which unfortunately went bankrupt which, in turn, sent my husband and I bankrupt. We decided that, based on that decision, we would move back to UK as life for us would be easier. We have been back for 10 months and my husband is not happy here and wants to move back to Oz. We will be discharged from bankruptcy early next year, but obviously our credit will take a while to repair.

I am a little reluctant to uproot our kids again and move them back to a country where our financial future would be extremely bleak. However, I hate seeing my husband unhappy and feel torn.

I would appreciate some outside views on this as I dont know what to do. We have citizenship so no issues with visas.

Ginger1002

Moses2013

To be honest 10 months isn't a long time and what doesn't make him happy? You left for a reason and if you know your financial future in Australia will be extremely bleak, don't do it. Try and build up something in the UK for now and when the kids are old enough you can still return.

Ginger1002

He just misses the Australian lifestyle. The only reason that we left was because of the bankruptcy situation but I hate seeing him unhappy. Really torn as to what is the best thing to do.

Ginger

quoll

You're thinking of moving somewhere where the future will be bleak - don't do it!
I'm surprised they let you leave if you declared yourself bankrupt in Aus, I thought they kept you there until it was discharged
If he's miserable then he should seek counseling and you could improve things by taking more holidays away perhaps - the Poms I know always seem to be off here and there for holidays.

Moses2013

Without money he won't really have a lifestyle. I don't know your job/living situation in the UK, but if you're are financially better off in the UK, why don't you go on holidays like quoll mentioned, or save up for something. If you know you won't have a future in OZ, but he misses the Australia lifestyle you could come up with the idea to save money for a house in the UK and create an Australian themed garden.

Ginger1002

The only reason we are financially better off in UK is the credit aspect. Income is same in both countries so our day to day monies would be no different. He was heavily into triathlons in Oz and because of the weather here, he hasnt been able to continue on the same level and he really misses it. Can you realistically live without access to credit? It would be for the next 5 years until we are fully clear of it. My head is all over the place because I want to do the best thing for everyone, but dont know what that is!!

OzTennis

Like this?

I've been around the world
A couple of times or maybe more
I've seen the sights, I've had delights
On every foreign shore
But when my mates all ask me
The place that I adore
I tell them right away

Give me a home among the gumtrees
With lots of plum trees
A sheep or two, a kangaroo
A clothesline out the back
Veranda out the front
And an old rocking chair

You can see me in the kitchen
Cooking up a roast
Or Vegemite on toast
Just you and me, a cup of tea
And later on, we'll settle down
And go out on the porch
And watch the possums play

Give me a home among the gumtrees
With lots of plum trees
A sheep or two, a kangaroo
A clothesline out the back
Veranda out the front
And an old rocking chair

There's a Safeways up the corner
And a Woolies down the street
And a brand new place they've opened up
Where they regulate the heat
But I'd trade them all tomorrow
For a little bush retreat
Where the kookaburras call

Give me a home among the gumtrees
With lots of plum trees
A sheep or two, a kangaroo
A clothesline out the back
Veranda out the front
And an old rocking chair

Some people like their houses
With fences all around
Others live in mansions
And some beneath the ground
But me, I like the bush, you know
With rabbits running round
And a pumpkin vine out the back

Give me a home among the gumtrees
With lots of plum trees
A sheep or two, a kangaroo
A clothesline out the back
Veranda out the front
And an old rocking chair

Give me a home among the gumtrees
With lots of plum trees
A sheep or two, a kangaroo
A clothesline out the back
Veranda out the front
And an old rocking chair

Moses2013

Not bad. We have plum trees in the garden and gumtrees would actually be a good idea too (found some online here) Eucalyptus - Gum Trees Buy trees, fruit trees, shrubs and gifts from Mail Order Trees online. We have the covered veranda/porch with heater to give it a tropical feel in the evening. Apart from the rabbits & sheep, the animals might be hard to find in the garden here, but you gave me an idea with the kookaburras They could be animated if you install a few speakers in the garden to hear the singing.

spouse of scouse

Hi Ginger, sorry to hear that things aren't going too well. It sounds as though it's only your husband who isn't happy in the UK, with you and the kids doing ok. That, alone, is an indicator of what is the best thing you both can do for your family.

I know it's not as easy as that, and I understand that you don't like seeing him unhappy. But harsh as it may sound, I think he needs to stop being selfish, and instead put the entire family's needs first. Wanting to compete in triathlons isn't a very good reason to take his family back to an uncertain future - especially if he's the only one who's keen for the move.

It's that old thing - you can't always get (everything) you want. As it stands, he's in his home country, his family's together and doing well, he's working and there are no credit problems. That's a lot to give up.

Best of luck to you

quoll

Plenty of triathlons in UK and Europe for that matter. What's stopping him enjoying them here? Training in the cooler weather would probably be better too!

Tr1boy

I seriously doubt anyone on this site has done more triathlons in as many locations and for as long as I have (decades). With respect, this is garbage. He just doesn't want it enough and to be honest, triathlon is not a cheap sport, so if you did return I doubt there would be much disposable income for that.

Some things are harder in the UK, such as the woeful lack of lane etiquette. Some things are easier, such as many more OWS venues. There are shed loads more events. Driver courtesy is light years ahead so riding is safer.

Cold and wet can be a challenge but you just need the right clothing. If he was seriously into his sport he'd find a way. To SBR 9 times a week or whatever program he is on takes a positive frame of mind. If he's not happy in the UK then it's doubtful he will be motivated to hit his numbers, but that's a world away from not being able to due to weather.

I've bailed way more sessions in Oz due to extreme heat than I ever have in the UK due to cold. Ive raised my FTP and TSS significantly since being here, there is nothing magic in the air, just hard work.

jad n rich

Got to agree with the comments on Triathlon being available UK and Europe.
My uncle is based in Scotland! and managed to compete into his 60's!!. My neice in Australia does them and at age 20 has the most horrendous skin damage, deep eye wrinkles, moles, massive skin damage. The reality of that sun and constant exposure to it becomes evident after a few years.

Moses2013

Yes and it's not as if he didn't know what the UK weather is like.

Tr1boy

I think the real issue is that if someone is unhappy they will either find solace in their passion or hobby, or reject it and look for reasons to 'shut down'. If the OP's hubby was really into triathlon and feels like they can't do it in the UK I would say that's a big indicator of how unhappy they are.

I'd tackle that issue first.

verystormy

I will throw a few things into the mix. First, being a discharded bankcrupt does not mean you can simply now go out and get credit – you will still be viewed as a credit risk.
Next, Oz has changed a lot in recent months with the mining downturn. There have been a lot of redundancies and the economy is seriously spluttering (to say the least) – you managed to go bankrupt during the biggest boom in Oz history. How will you fair in a downturn?
Lastly, sport. I am not a triathlete, but am keen on a huge number of sports from swimming to surfing. My house in Oz is opposite a beach. But, I actually surfed more in the UK – and heck, I lived in Leicester! I am currently working in the arctic in a small town in the tundra. We are covered in deep snow and ice. But, I see plenty of people out running. The UK weather is no reason to not enjoy it. In fact, sport away from the blazing summer heat is a blessing.