My wife wants to move to Australia...
Sep 8th 2015, 9:26 pm
#16
Spud
Joined: Feb 2011
Location: Avoca Beach
Posts: 565
Re: My wife wants to move to Australia...
Tried to explain my concerns to my wife, but she is adamant she wants to go in Jan. As a compromise I said can you wait until March as it will be 5 years at my present job and it looks much better if you stay with a company for 5 years plus... her response was no I want to go in Jan. In a proper jam at the moment. My head is going round and round in circles..
Sep 8th 2015, 10:35 pm
#17
SUPER MODERATOR
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 88,022
Re: My wife wants to move to Australia...
Just agree with her and start the ball rolling by encouraging her to look at the requirements for visas. She will soon find that it's not as easy and straight forward as she thinks it is. That way you avoid all the arguments, look like you are being supportive but quietly knowing that it may never happen. There's no point getting stressed and worried over something that might never happen.
Sep 9th 2015, 3:08 am
#18
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 10,375
Re: My wife wants to move to Australia...
Simples - refuse to let your son leave the country. She cant take him without your permission and would have to go to court to get permission if you disagreed. She would be hard pressed to make a good argument to a court for permission to remove him from the jurisdiction as it doesnt look like she has very much prospect of employment. She cant apply for citizenship just because it's Tuesday and she fancies it, there's a lengthy rigmarole to go through and unless she has some fantastic skill set she isnt likely to get a visa anyway. She wont get one just because her sister lives there.
May I suggest marriage guidance counselling as you two dont seem to be on the same page at all. I would suggest however that if you dont want to go then dont go and dont allow your son to go either.
BTW the "better life for the kids" thing is bollocks. One first world country is much like any other and there is absolutely no guarantee that one will offer a better life than the other - different, certainly but there are swings and roundabouts.
May I suggest marriage guidance counselling as you two dont seem to be on the same page at all. I would suggest however that if you dont want to go then dont go and dont allow your son to go either.
BTW the "better life for the kids" thing is bollocks. One first world country is much like any other and there is absolutely no guarantee that one will offer a better life than the other - different, certainly but there are swings and roundabouts.
Would also add if a person and their spouse are on slightly rocky ground or a different page so to speak. Once the wife has that child out in Australia (through proper immigration ) that child will be staying put in Australia if the other parent wants to return to the UK. Many a expat didnt think of that little nightmare till they got here.
Sep 9th 2015, 9:56 am
#19
Proudly Deplorable
Joined: May 2003
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Sep 9th 2015, 10:42 am
#20
FREE TIBET
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,840
Re: My wife wants to move to Australia...
Let her go,get a carry out n party
Sep 9th 2015, 10:59 am
#21
Last resort... format c:/
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Singapore to Surfers Paradise to... Tenerife... to Gran Canaria!
Posts: 1,626
Re: My wife wants to move to Australia...
Let me get this right: the wife wants you all to move and live with someone else (her sister), there is no mention of jobs yet, etc. That seems like heading over on a tourist visa and then taking things from there - certainly not the right approach to take, and one where things could easily take a wrong turn and get ugly...
Sep 9th 2015, 11:03 am
#22
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,814
Re: My wife wants to move to Australia...
Let me get this right: the wife wants you all to move and live with someone else (her sister), there is no mention of jobs yet, etc. That seems like heading over on a tourist visa and then taking things from there - certainly not the right approach to take, and one where things could easily take a wrong turn and get ugly...
She applied for citizenship without fully talking to me about it.
Sep 9th 2015, 12:29 pm
#23
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Sydney beachside
Posts: 3,505
Re: My wife wants to move to Australia...
It's not impossible that she applied for citizenship. She could well be the daughter of an Australian citizen and therefore eligible for citizenship by descent. If so, she didn't need her husband's permission to apply for it.
Sep 9th 2015, 1:11 pm
#24
Aussie Finn Mixture!
Joined: May 2005
Location: Leschenault WA (after few locations around WA and Around Europe!)
Posts: 1,151
Re: My wife wants to move to Australia...
Too true but doesn't mean she can move with the child. Unfortunately unless the OP comes back with further details, we can only speculate
Speculators R Us
Sep 9th 2015, 1:34 pm
#27
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,814
Re: My wife wants to move to Australia...
The husband (and possibly the child, if not an Aussie) would need a visa though.
Sep 10th 2015, 1:22 am
#28
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jun 2011
Location: Other side of the Westgate
Posts: 654
Re: My wife wants to move to Australia...
OP might also explore whether the economic and employment climate in Australia generally, and WA particularly, will provide a good outcome for them. Personally I would not want to be turning up in Perth tomorrow without a good deal of certainty in advance as to work prospects.
Just my (heavily depreciated) two cent's worth - others will be along presently assure you that all is fine.
Just my (heavily depreciated) two cent's worth - others will be along presently assure you that all is fine.
Sep 10th 2015, 5:53 am
#29
Social Grenade Thrower
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: South Coast, NSW
Posts: 3,625
Re: My wife wants to move to Australia...
Its pretty apparent that your wife and her sister are close, I suspect her sister is historically the controlling one. Right now she is battling you with emotions and you are reacting, quite badly if I may say so. You seem very weak and that's why she is not asking you but 'telling ' you what she wants to do.
It is of course all fantasy for her, her sister has a great life , her sisters hubby has a great job, her parents don't really care for you. Reading between the lines here you are an inconvenience to them all.
So, you have two options really. Do as Spuddyo suggested and say 'yes dear, lets do it, I'll support you. You sort out the Visa's and then the flights and accommodation and we can get cracking, I can't wait to see your sister again". Or, flat out tell her she is talking bollocks, wind her head in and be a proper part of your marriage or else discuss seperation/divorce. Because believe me, she cares not for your thoughts right now and maybe she needs a subconscious slap across the face and a reality check.
I am of course not a qualified relationship expert so feel free to disregard every word of what I have assumed and supposed
It is of course all fantasy for her, her sister has a great life , her sisters hubby has a great job, her parents don't really care for you. Reading between the lines here you are an inconvenience to them all.
So, you have two options really. Do as Spuddyo suggested and say 'yes dear, lets do it, I'll support you. You sort out the Visa's and then the flights and accommodation and we can get cracking, I can't wait to see your sister again". Or, flat out tell her she is talking bollocks, wind her head in and be a proper part of your marriage or else discuss seperation/divorce. Because believe me, she cares not for your thoughts right now and maybe she needs a subconscious slap across the face and a reality check.
I am of course not a qualified relationship expert so feel free to disregard every word of what I have assumed and supposed
Sep 10th 2015, 9:06 am
#30
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 14,040
Re: My wife wants to move to Australia...
Just agree with her and start the ball rolling by encouraging her to look at the requirements for visas. She will soon find that it's not as easy and straight forward as she thinks it is. That way you avoid all the arguments, look like you are being supportive but quietly knowing that it may never happen. There's no point getting stressed and worried over something that might never happen.