Moving to Oz... think VERY carefully!
#47
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Moving to Oz... think VERY carefully!
My friend told me that she moved to abroad for the kids, they loved it, her husband loved it, her kids settled so well it was fantastic. Trouble was that she hated it.
She by her own admission, moved there for her kids, was aware that she was the odd one out and hated it but still wants the whole family to move back.
She wants to move back purely for herself and in to the very life that she wanted to get away from for the benefit of her kids. They really didnt want to go back.
I hope it works out for you Nik, personally we love it here but the stresses of migrating can split up families. If your hubby likes it, your kids like it and are thriving, have a back up plan as to how you will handle it if you don't like your new country.
Because if you ask many on here, the very reason for you emigrating - the kids, could be the one thing that will keep you in Australia should you want to go back to the UK.
Good luck and you are right, we only get once crack at life and we have to grab those chances by the balls - but it doesnt hurt to be prepared.
She by her own admission, moved there for her kids, was aware that she was the odd one out and hated it but still wants the whole family to move back.
She wants to move back purely for herself and in to the very life that she wanted to get away from for the benefit of her kids. They really didnt want to go back.
I hope it works out for you Nik, personally we love it here but the stresses of migrating can split up families. If your hubby likes it, your kids like it and are thriving, have a back up plan as to how you will handle it if you don't like your new country.
Because if you ask many on here, the very reason for you emigrating - the kids, could be the one thing that will keep you in Australia should you want to go back to the UK.
Good luck and you are right, we only get once crack at life and we have to grab those chances by the balls - but it doesnt hurt to be prepared.
#48
Re: Moving to Oz... think VERY carefully!
No A controversial thread from someone who isn't happy here. I can see the headlines in the Daily Mail tomorrow "Some people like moving from UK to Australia, some don't, shocker"
There's crime in the UK, there's crime in Australia.
Some people can't live without Eastenders, can't live without their old friends, left behind so much, unhappy now in Australia and missing home, etc. Why leave the UK then ? Emigrating is not for everyone but assuming that it will be crap for everyone is as naive as someone saying that everyone will love it. Some people are just meant to stay in England. That's their life and you have to respect that.
There's crime in the UK, there's crime in Australia.
Some people can't live without Eastenders, can't live without their old friends, left behind so much, unhappy now in Australia and missing home, etc. Why leave the UK then ? Emigrating is not for everyone but assuming that it will be crap for everyone is as naive as someone saying that everyone will love it. Some people are just meant to stay in England. That's their life and you have to respect that.
Last edited by bigAPE; Aug 10th 2008 at 10:20 am.
#49
Re: Moving to Oz... think VERY carefully!
I have a theory that some of those that were really close find it too hard to deal with and those that were not close do not keep in touch at all. It is those in the middle you still hear from.
#50
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Moving to Oz... think VERY carefully!
Dont you steal my pillow, I have a nice squishy one and I have a duvet.
#51
Re: Moving to Oz... think VERY carefully!
I used to watch on a Saturday night with my parents and siblings, munching choccies and drinking Cream Soda. Good memories.
#52
Re: Moving to Oz... think VERY carefully!
No A controversial thread from someone who isn't happy here. I can see the headlines in the Daily Mail tomorrow "Some people like moving from UK to Australia, some don't, shocker"
There's crime in the UK, there's crime in Australia.
Some people can't live without Eastenders, can't live without their old friends, left behind so much, unhappy now in Australia and missing home, etc. Why leave then ?
There's crime in the UK, there's crime in Australia.
Some people can't live without Eastenders, can't live without their old friends, left behind so much, unhappy now in Australia and missing home, etc. Why leave then ?
#54
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: Ferny Hills, Brisbane
Posts: 149
Re: Moving to Oz... think VERY carefully!
Here's a bit of fieldwork to prove or disprove your theorem:
Only 4 months in, so far, I'd say all those that I thought were close still are but with a fair bit of involvement on my part. Those in the middle I have heard from once but then again I have contacted them once. It certainly makes the bond stronger with those who remain! I can't imagine that I would have ever said 'Love You' to my female friends before we emmigrated, now it just feels so right and not strange at all.
#55
Re: Moving to Oz... think VERY carefully!
Just moving to the next town can be stressful. As far as crime and any other thing I believe that its a world problem and it gets reported more in the news now, its always been around but did not get reported so much. The people in the media are scratching for things to print half the time.
As for moving to Aus our family did not care really that we moved overseas and that is a good thing because its our family and they have their friends and their life. Its lovely to see them we keep in touch but my family is my husband and my children, its evolution. I would not welcome any interference from my family or his family and lets face it when families are particularly close there is a lot of interference. We forget the bad and only remember the good wherever we are.
Living overseas does not mean that you no longer care or love family members and friends.
There are friends for life and friends for some of life. I have friends for life mostly and they do not care where I live. My best friend lives in Brisbane and I live in Melbourne and we talk all the time and email. We will always be friends.
I think you have to do the best for the immediate family.
Mums and Dads understand, if my two moved to the UK tomorrow I would support them even though I would not follow. Its their life. I only had them on loan.
As for moving to Aus our family did not care really that we moved overseas and that is a good thing because its our family and they have their friends and their life. Its lovely to see them we keep in touch but my family is my husband and my children, its evolution. I would not welcome any interference from my family or his family and lets face it when families are particularly close there is a lot of interference. We forget the bad and only remember the good wherever we are.
Living overseas does not mean that you no longer care or love family members and friends.
There are friends for life and friends for some of life. I have friends for life mostly and they do not care where I live. My best friend lives in Brisbane and I live in Melbourne and we talk all the time and email. We will always be friends.
I think you have to do the best for the immediate family.
Mums and Dads understand, if my two moved to the UK tomorrow I would support them even though I would not follow. Its their life. I only had them on loan.
#56
Re: Moving to Oz... think VERY carefully!
No amount of thinking and preparation can really prepare you for the impact of completely uprooting your life. At some point you just have to take a chance 'cos the only certainty in life is death!
#57
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: Ferny Hills, Brisbane
Posts: 149
Re: Moving to Oz... think VERY carefully!
We are coming over in November and definately don't have rose tinted glasses. Although we have not been before we are doing it for the kids. We know that we will have to go to work every day and that we will miss our families but we have to give it a shot. We also realise that we may not like living in Australia but with the knife and gun crime in the UK as it is now what is it going to be like in 10 years when my oldest is 18.
I am with the people who would rather take the chance than regret not trying. Also my OH is 40 so for us it is now or never.
I am with the people who would rather take the chance than regret not trying. Also my OH is 40 so for us it is now or never.
Ummm, my OH is over 40 and me vast approaching. I think emmigrating when 30 and emmigrating when 40 is very very different!
For us, I thought ok, I'll miss my mates big time but I'll make new ones and my little ones are too young for an impact to be seen.
Reality check:
Making friends is not neccesarily as easy as it was when you had your kids as people have their lives established. Me & my UK mates were strongley bonded within months, have only felt that sort of connection with one person here, who has a very busty life and its difficult to sort out schedules. yes I get out and about.
3 year old is vissibly lonely. As you have older kids they will probally be ok but with little ones they rely on you.
I think when you hit 40 you are fairly established in life and having to start again and sometimes settle for less in whatever area is a big shock to the system (I've done all this before).
Not meant to deter you just to give you some first hand feelings.
#58
Re: Moving to Oz... think VERY carefully!
When you move to the other side of the world it is going to be different, sometimes radically different. It should come as no surprise, but sadly because the UK is flush with Australian personalities, TV and myth people assume they know it and will be comfortable. You don't get these sort of discussions about people moving to Antigua or Japan, because they expect it to be different.
When moving to Australia and wanting it to succeed you really need to have realistic expectations and at least try to integrate into their society. If not you're going to be on your own. We have some great expat friends here in Melbourne (some I'm sure we will be friends with forever), but without our Australian friends and the social life that brings I'm not sure we would be as happy and settled as we are.
Al
#60
Re: Moving to Oz... think VERY carefully!
Lots of very positive and excited people on here and I don't want to burst anyone's bubble but...
Think very carefully why you want to move out here. Be honest with yourself. I know many people will say "you only live once... give it a try" but getting your 'old uk life' back can be hard.
It is easy to think (as I did), the beaches, the sunshine, the lifestyle, it will be great. You very quickly get used to it!
Think about what actually makes you happy living in the UK (sometimes its easy to forget)? Do you enjoy Saturday nights out with close friends? Regular trips to Europe? Knowing where 'home' is? Being able to pop round and see family anytime you want? Going to family events, birthdays etc? Once family members are gone you never get that time back and 'sunny days' are not an adequate trade.
Of course I thought about missing family/uk but it takes moving for it to actually feel real. If you are close to your family and/or have a good circle of friends think hard!
Every persons life has problems, sometimes you only need to change a few small things to improve it... not everything!
Good luck to those making the trip. Just leave an escape route!!!!
Think very carefully why you want to move out here. Be honest with yourself. I know many people will say "you only live once... give it a try" but getting your 'old uk life' back can be hard.
It is easy to think (as I did), the beaches, the sunshine, the lifestyle, it will be great. You very quickly get used to it!
Think about what actually makes you happy living in the UK (sometimes its easy to forget)? Do you enjoy Saturday nights out with close friends? Regular trips to Europe? Knowing where 'home' is? Being able to pop round and see family anytime you want? Going to family events, birthdays etc? Once family members are gone you never get that time back and 'sunny days' are not an adequate trade.
Of course I thought about missing family/uk but it takes moving for it to actually feel real. If you are close to your family and/or have a good circle of friends think hard!
Every persons life has problems, sometimes you only need to change a few small things to improve it... not everything!
Good luck to those making the trip. Just leave an escape route!!!!