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The Moving Back to the UK forum

Old Jan 28th 2005, 12:55 am
  #31  
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Default Re: The Moving Back to the UK forum

Originally Posted by wombat42
An escape route? they are immigrating to Australia not Afganistan.
Oi ! you leave my country out of this. Its very similar to yours in terms of being largely outback, but we don't have Hungry Jacks yet. If you haven't been, don't knock it !
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Old Jan 28th 2005, 1:14 am
  #32  
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Default Re: The Moving Back to the UK forum

Originally Posted by Del Boy
Oi ! you leave my country out of this. Its very similar to yours in terms of being largely outback, but we don't have Hungry Jacks yet. If you haven't been, don't knock it !
Good one, made me
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Old Jan 28th 2005, 1:22 am
  #33  
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Default Re: The Moving Back to the UK forum

Originally Posted by wombat42
Good one, made me
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Cheers, glad you like it.....now pick on someone else......how about Turkmenistan for example ?
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Old Jan 28th 2005, 1:56 am
  #34  
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Default Re: The Moving Back to the UK forum

Originally Posted by wombat42
l can hardly wait : Whinge, , Whinge, ,Whinge
Nobody's forcing you to read it. Of course if you haven't anything better to do...
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Old Jan 28th 2005, 12:04 pm
  #35  
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Default Re: The Moving Back to the UK forum

Originally Posted by worzel
I have been on BE for about 4 months now and just stumbled across the Moving Back to the UK forum. There are some really sad stories on there about people who dreamt for years of emigrating to Australia etc and after just a few months had to face coming back to the UK, largely it seems because the woman couldn't settle. It makes you think. Although the last thing I need is yet another forum to occupy my time, I will use it as a confirmation exercise from time to time.
After reading your post I had a look on the going back site and yeh all women, can't believe though that their stupid husbands have let them control them though quite this way, some of the guys on there are devastated, no I am not a fella either, I cannot believe that all these people are going back to the UK just because the wifes thrown a fit.
We have come out with the strict rule of 2 years at least, nothing will change that rule between us and lets face it 2 years really is not a long time.

Did these people not discuss the whole Ozzy issue with each other before they came all this way. I find it hard to believe the wait until they get your visa is turning out longer than the stay in OZ, I guess they haven't thought it out very well, I'd love to say divorce the missus but I guess that is being to harsh, makes me wonder though if the hubbies resent them when they get back to England all their hopes gone, love to know how many of these marriages break up later down the line and the husband finds his way back over her.

Jenny
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Old Jan 28th 2005, 12:37 pm
  #36  
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Default Re: The Moving Back to the UK forum

Thanks Jen Thinking the same myself. The women concerned are saying how fantastic it is to be back, how the kids have settled back in to their old schools and how hubby has gone back to his old job. The hubbies don't come on saying "yes really pleased to be back". It can only harm their relationship long term.

We have thought and thought, and talked and talked, obviously we don't know how it will pan out but you don't leave a job after a week (generally) because you don't think you like it. You have to experience the entire package and that takes time. If after that you know its not right, fine come back. I feel sorry for those who miss their families, but I think the family can become a comfort blanket and it won't always be there.

I don't go there often because it seriously depresses me. I know things are going to be different, hard, strange etc etc. I also know that Aus has the same problems as the UK - smug leaders, taxes, nanny state, drugs etc etc but if I say something about why I want to leave the UK, I do not need some helpful person saying - rose tinted glasses, no better than the UK, blah blah blah. I am not shutting my eyes to problems but I also do not need them forced down my throat every day.

Shit happens, I just don't need to smell it 24/7. My cup is half full and it will stay that way.
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Old Jan 28th 2005, 12:49 pm
  #37  
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Default Re: The Moving Back to the UK forum

Out of interest, I wonder if money makes a difference to a families decision of staying in Australia?

Meaning if you have plenty and are able to go home because you miss your family, never appreciated England before, the snow, the green fields etc.
I wonder if you go home because you are still able to and are scared it may take you too long to acclimatise? And best do it before you run out of money.

ln the UK, life was safe and lets go back to it.

OR

If you have little/no money and have borrowed to get there and are fully aware you cannot go back as you have nothing to go back to, and you know it has to work.

It makes me think.

Because when I started my current job, I didnt like it and it took months to build up a rapport and friendships with colleagues.

On day one, it didnt feel right but like anything, had to be given time.

And its OK now.

So is money a factor, the easier it is for you to come home financially, then you wont try as hard?

Or the poorer you are, you work harder at it?

Interesting......

Last edited by Professional Princess; Jan 28th 2005 at 12:52 pm.
 
Old Jan 28th 2005, 1:06 pm
  #38  
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Default Re: The Moving Back to the UK forum

Originally Posted by Professional Princess
So is money a factor, the easier it is for you to come home financially, then you wont try as hard?

Or the poorer you are, you work harder at it?

Interesting......
I am sure there is a lot in that. One reason why we have decided to sell our house instead of renting it out. (apart from the fact we didn't want to be fleeced by a management company )
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Old Jan 28th 2005, 1:09 pm
  #39  
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Default Re: The Moving Back to the UK forum

Originally Posted by wombat42
l call it the Whinging Pom Forum. There was one women who decided to quit
OZ after only 3 weeks here and said hereself that she was prepared to make no effort to settling into a new country. Its obvious that most of those people were going to fail in OZ before they even got here, they should never have been allowed into the country in the first place unless they were prepared to make a real effort to adapt to living in a new country.
Got to agree with you.

The amount of location shows on the TV over here, showing people making these decisions on a three/four week trip....just unbelievable. I've had longer holidays that that

My missus has been over here now for fourteen years, and soon, we will be in Oz. She has missed people/friends/family etc, just like I will when we go there, but that is life....get used to it.

If you can't live without the shadow of your Mum, Dad, family etc here, then you will not be able to live on the other side of the planet now, will you ?

I've been to paradise, then had to work there - amazing how it suddenly stops being the paradise you imagined. So fellow POMS, if you can't live outside the family comfort zone, then OZ is not for you.........

Maybe the next village, suburb, even town but not OZ
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Old Jan 28th 2005, 1:09 pm
  #40  
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Default Re: The Moving Back to the UK forum

Originally Posted by Professional Princess
So is money a factor, the easier it is for you to come home financially, then you wont try as hard?
Interesting thought Sam. But maybe it works the other way too. We should have a comfortable nest egg to travel back if we need to.

Our plan is that we must stick it for 2 years to get citizenship then return for what I am calling an Affirmation Visit. (ie to check what England was really like. If I don't find too many things I have missed in the previous 24 months then we know we are set in Australia for the long term)

There will also be enough money to travel back if there is a family emergency etc. With all that in mind, knowing we are only 24 hours away from a spell in the UK if necessary, I envisage not feeling so isolated and thus more able to get through any bad patches.

One other thought, I will get a job and make new friends in the workplace and come home to the trouble and strife and little 'un which so I can't see me feeling lonely (I only have a Mum and Dad in the UK to miss really). It is my Sam I worry about but I can always stick the 2 of them on the plane occassionally if it gets really bad (then get the boys around for a beer while she is away!)
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Old Jan 28th 2005, 1:44 pm
  #41  
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Default Re: The Moving Back to the UK forum

Originally Posted by worzel
Interesting thought Sam. But maybe it works the other way too. We should have a comfortable nest egg to travel back if we need to.

Our plan is that we must stick it for 2 years to get citizenship then return for what I am calling an Affirmation Visit. (ie to check what England was really like. If I don't find too many things I have missed in the previous 24 months then we know we are set in Australia for the long term)

There will also be enough money to travel back if there is a family emergency etc. With all that in mind, knowing we are only 24 hours away from a spell in the UK if necessary, I envisage not feeling so isolated and thus more able to get through any bad patches.

One other thought, I will get a job and make new friends in the workplace and come home to the trouble and strife and little 'un which so I can't see me feeling lonely (I only have a Mum and Dad in the UK to miss really). It is my Sam I worry about but I can always stick the 2 of them on the plane occassionally if it gets really bad (then get the boys around for a beer while she is away!)


Hi All,

It’s so interesting reading all your points. I'm new to the site and am so hooked; I can’t believe I managed before without you all. I wanted to ask, is the main reason for coming back to the UK about missing family? I ask because I am desperate to live in OZ and fear I have rose tinted spectacles, reading all your notes I wonder if I have built it out to be this amazing place it really isn’t (I spent 6 weeks there in 98). I spent a year in Hong Kong in 1998 and life in the UK has just not been the same since returning, I don’t mean to be negative but I think I hate it a little more each year. My husband has never been and is purely taking my word that it will be a better life for us both, hope I am right. We have both been to Cape Town, anyone know if Melbourne is similar?

I have no family here in the UK, so if family is the reason people return we should be fine. My husband does have family here but is not very close at all with them and he is rather easy going so I know family wont be an issue. My mom and dad live in South Africa and have said if we emigrate they will try and join us, so big plus for me. Anyway I know I am rambling a little its just I am a nervous about the whole move and I don’t see coming back to the UK an option. What are the other reasons why people return?

Big thanks
Janine
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Old Jan 28th 2005, 1:57 pm
  #42  
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Default Re: The Moving Back to the UK forum

This is going to sound like a criticism of so many people, but its not meant that way, again just me thinking aloud......on a couple of my really bad days, The Bloke has offered to up sticks and move to the UK for me. To some of the people on here that must sound like he is the perfect husband, and I'm sure they would have taken up the offer at once.
However, I can't do that, I just feel that marriage is a two-way thing, and I should at least stay here for a few years, especially as our original decision was to live here for good. I KNOW he would be miserable over there, and I just can't put him through that, certainly not until I have given Australia several years of my life, and really tried to fit.
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Old Jan 28th 2005, 2:01 pm
  #43  
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Default Re: The Moving Back to the UK forum

Originally Posted by Ninijon
Hi All,

It’s so interesting reading all your points. I'm new to the site and am so hooked; I can’t believe I managed before without you all. I wanted to ask, is the main reason for coming back to the UK about missing family? I ask because I am desperate to live in OZ and fear I have rose tinted spectacles, reading all your notes I wonder if I have built it out to be this amazing place it really isn’t (I spent 6 weeks there in 98). I spent a year in Hong Kong in 1998 and life in the UK has just not been the same since returning, I don’t mean to be negative but I think I hate it a little more each year. My husband has never been and is purely taking my word that it will be a better life for us both, hope I am right. We have both been to Cape Town, anyone know if Melbourne is similar?

I have no family here in the UK, so if family is the reason people return we should be fine. My husband does have family here but is not very close at all with them and he is rather easy going so I know family wont be an issue. My mom and dad live in South Africa and have said if we emigrate they will try and join us, so big plus for me. Anyway I know I am rambling a little its just I am a nervous about the whole move and I don’t see coming back to the UK an option. What are the other reasons why people return?

Big thanks
Janine
The only reason the women talk about the whole issue of coming back, is cos the blokes don't voice themselves on here. My husband is not a fan of the expat forum but has told me to assure you he is extremely pleased to be back, back in his old role at work etc etc He likes oz as a holiday, but to live its just not his cup of tea. He's not the only one. I talk to other people (both men and women) who are either in the process of coming back to the UK, or have been back a few months and all the blokes are pleased to be home (and no not to shut their wives up)!
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Old Jan 28th 2005, 2:42 pm
  #44  
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Default Re: The Moving Back to the UK forum

I don't think you can judge in this situation unless you have been really homesick yourself. It's really is a very strange thing, and it's sometimes indescribable, even for people who've had it. (I haven't, my mum has)

And I agree it's usually the women, because of friends and family, and often being the ones stuck at home.
And women talk about their feelings more, but there are men who are homesick too.

Sometimes you really don't know you're going to get this till you go, though I agree that 3 weeks is very short.
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Old Jan 28th 2005, 3:22 pm
  #45  
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Default Re: The Moving Back to the UK forum

What about that family a few months ago. They didn't post but someone they knew did. He said they had moved out to Aus, decided after a week it wasn't for them, shipped everything back. Got back to Uk and decided that they did want to be in Aus afterall. Finally got back, he got a great job but they then decided they weren't happy and headed back to UK again after about a month. - What was that all about
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