Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Aug 27th 2004, 12:20 am
#181
Account Closed
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 29,154
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Originally Posted by Ceri
Also, get used to swimming with sharks - cut the legs off a few rottweilers and chuck them in the water ( this is getting sick now! lol)
Last edited by carolinegorka; Aug 27th 2004 at 12:28 am.
Aug 27th 2004, 12:39 am
#182
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
If you are lucky enough to have a small front room, as well as a "living room" in your "3 bed semi", put all your best furniture in and call it the ''formal'' lounge room.
On NO account ever actually use, or be seen to use it.
Smash all the walls downstairs to create a large room. Practise having a "family room and kitchen".
(You'll get the living room, rumpus room when you arrive in Australia). For the time being, it will be outside in the space allocated to your road or back garden.
On NO account ever actually use, or be seen to use it.
Smash all the walls downstairs to create a large room. Practise having a "family room and kitchen".
(You'll get the living room, rumpus room when you arrive in Australia). For the time being, it will be outside in the space allocated to your road or back garden.
Aug 27th 2004, 12:43 am
#183
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Originally Posted by Badge
Men
In London, when walking down the street , rotate your head 180 degrees behind you every so often, this will acclimatise you to the visual delights of the beach and immediate environs....
BM
In London, when walking down the street , rotate your head 180 degrees behind you every so often, this will acclimatise you to the visual delights of the beach and immediate environs....
BM
are walking along the beach front with your wife.
Aug 27th 2004, 12:50 am
#184
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 13,233
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Prepare for your new working environment by arriving late, leaving early and spending Friday afternoon down the pub.
Do as little work as possible while you're there and expect your boss to praise you.
I'm loving it
Do as little work as possible while you're there and expect your boss to praise you.
I'm loving it
Aug 27th 2004, 12:54 am
#185
Y Ddraig Goch
Joined: Aug 2002
Location: Body is in Brissie. Heart and soul has long flown home.
Posts: 3,722
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
continuing the driving theme, overtake in the slow lane - this ensures you can get by those slow people who are sitting in the fast lane. while coming down the short curvy slip road... just barge, and carve your way out at 40 k's in front of a car who is doing 100k's , do not at any time adjust your speed on the sliproad for the flow of traffic on the motorway - it's your right of way. once you get onto the motorway, immediately cross the lanes to get to the fast lane, as you don't want to sit in the slow lane. Do not look in your rear view mirror at any time.
At night on busy dark roads - put on you high beam for th cars in front of you, and then switch on your fog lights so the rear traffic can also get dazzled. Take a pair of binoculars with you, these are handy for spotting well marked out road signs. When you get to an endangered roundabout do what the locals do, pick any lane, any lane will do .. play with your indicator randomly, left , right it doesn't matter.. "ooh I have flashing lights on my dashboard., now where am I going"
When it suddenly pours down with rain - slam on your brakes as hard as you can.. this will ensure the others behind you have to do the same.. and will cause some lovely skids. When in the rain , trucks please carry on driving at the fastest speed possible up the arses of cars.. as you can just stop your 500 ton vehicle just like that into the car in front of you, use him as your brake - you need no stopping distances.
At night on busy dark roads - put on you high beam for th cars in front of you, and then switch on your fog lights so the rear traffic can also get dazzled. Take a pair of binoculars with you, these are handy for spotting well marked out road signs. When you get to an endangered roundabout do what the locals do, pick any lane, any lane will do .. play with your indicator randomly, left , right it doesn't matter.. "ooh I have flashing lights on my dashboard., now where am I going"
When it suddenly pours down with rain - slam on your brakes as hard as you can.. this will ensure the others behind you have to do the same.. and will cause some lovely skids. When in the rain , trucks please carry on driving at the fastest speed possible up the arses of cars.. as you can just stop your 500 ton vehicle just like that into the car in front of you, use him as your brake - you need no stopping distances.
Aug 27th 2004, 12:58 am
#186
Account Closed
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 4,235
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Originally Posted by Ceri
continuing the driving theme, overtake in the slow lane - this ensures you can get by those slow people who are sitting in the fast lane. while coming down the short curvy slip road... just barge, and carve your way out at 40 k's in front of a car who is doing 100k's , do not at any time adjust your speed on the sliproad for the flow of traffic on the motorway - it's your right of way. once you get onto the motorway, immediately cross the lanes to get to the fast lane, as you don't want to sit in the slow lane. Do not look in your rear view mirror at any time.
At night on busy dark roads - put on you high beam for th cars in front of you, and then switch on your fog lights so the rear traffic can also get dazzled. Take a pair of binoculars with you, these are handy for spotting well marked out road signs. When you get to an endangered roundabout do what the locals do, pick any lane, any lane will do .. play with your indicator randomly, left , right it doesn't matter.. "ooh I have flashing lights on my dashboard., now where am I going"
When it suddenly pours down with rain - slam on your brakes as hard as you can.. this will ensure the others behind you have to do the same.. and will cause some lovely skids. When in the rain , trucks please carry on driving at the fastest speed possible up the arses of cars.. as you can just stop your 500 ton vehicle just like that into the car in front of you, use him as your brake - you need no stopping distances.
At night on busy dark roads - put on you high beam for th cars in front of you, and then switch on your fog lights so the rear traffic can also get dazzled. Take a pair of binoculars with you, these are handy for spotting well marked out road signs. When you get to an endangered roundabout do what the locals do, pick any lane, any lane will do .. play with your indicator randomly, left , right it doesn't matter.. "ooh I have flashing lights on my dashboard., now where am I going"
When it suddenly pours down with rain - slam on your brakes as hard as you can.. this will ensure the others behind you have to do the same.. and will cause some lovely skids. When in the rain , trucks please carry on driving at the fastest speed possible up the arses of cars.. as you can just stop your 500 ton vehicle just like that into the car in front of you, use him as your brake - you need no stopping distances.
Hey, I thought this was top tips for Oz? Not London!!
Aug 27th 2004, 1:04 am
#187
Y Ddraig Goch
Joined: Aug 2002
Location: Body is in Brissie. Heart and soul has long flown home.
Posts: 3,722
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Originally Posted by Hels
Hey, I thought this was top tips for Oz? Not London!!
Last edited by Ceri; Aug 27th 2004 at 1:07 am.
Aug 27th 2004, 1:38 am
#188
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Originally Posted by jayr
This one's a bit complicated so here's some explanation first. I still can't help but convert into pounds, it just comes naturally. The easy way to get roughly the right number is (based on $2.5=1 GBP) to multiply the dollars by 4 and lop off the last number (i.e. divide by 10). For example $12 becomes 4*12 =48 then divide by 10 = GBP4.80, OK get it? Right now the tip:
Remind your wife that when converting $ to GBP, dividing the dollar amount by 4 is not the same as multiplying by 4/10 (as above). Her $100 haircut did not therefore cost GBP25, it cost GBP40; her new $80 shoes were not a snip at GBP20, they cost GBP32 and her $120 jeans were not good value at GBP30, they cost GBP48 f*****g pounds! You may then ask her if she has been applying the same logic to all purchases for the last two years.
Remind your wife that when converting $ to GBP, dividing the dollar amount by 4 is not the same as multiplying by 4/10 (as above). Her $100 haircut did not therefore cost GBP25, it cost GBP40; her new $80 shoes were not a snip at GBP20, they cost GBP32 and her $120 jeans were not good value at GBP30, they cost GBP48 f*****g pounds! You may then ask her if she has been applying the same logic to all purchases for the last two years.
you shouldn't be dividing by 2.5 anyhow...unless you are spending GBP from an UK account....
take your Aussie income and divide by UK income....this is the approx ratio you should be using...if it is negative, or less than 1, then you should never have migrated. If it is higher than 1(like mine) you did well to come to Straya..
(How good am I?) Do I get an OBE now?
BM
Aug 27th 2004, 1:53 am
#189
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 13,233
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Originally Posted by Badge
BIGGEST TIP OF ALL
you shouldn't be dividing by 2.5 anyhow...unless you are spending GBP from an UK account....
take your Aussie income and divide by UK income....this is the approx ratio you should be using...if it is negative, or less than 1, then you should never have migrated. If it is higher than 1(like mine) you did well to come to Straya..
(How good am I?) Do I get an OBE now?
BM
you shouldn't be dividing by 2.5 anyhow...unless you are spending GBP from an UK account....
take your Aussie income and divide by UK income....this is the approx ratio you should be using...if it is negative, or less than 1, then you should never have migrated. If it is higher than 1(like mine) you did well to come to Straya..
(How good am I?) Do I get an OBE now?
BM
Aug 27th 2004, 2:03 am
#190
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Originally Posted by JulesandChris
How could it be negative? You might just qualify for a happy meal.
eg for me AUS100.000 / GBP30,000 = 3ish - this is the rate I use...I am quids(or dollars in)
for a London banker working in Aussie Maccas:
AUS20,000/GBP100,000 = fraction - don't come to Aus!!!
AUS45,000/GBP17,500 = 2.5 the real rate, as you say, for an average bod....come to Australia but it may only be same sh*t, shiner bucket...
BM
Last edited by Badge; Aug 27th 2004 at 2:15 am.
Aug 27th 2004, 2:20 am
#191
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Mandurah WA
Posts: 1,395
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Spend half of the year filling the swimming pool because of the heat evaporating the water, and then the other half of the year having to empty the blighter because it rains and rains and rains and rains 
Whisky
Whisky
Aug 27th 2004, 2:25 am
#192
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Mandurah WA
Posts: 1,395
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Australians aren't any taller than the average Pom, so why is it when you buy a pair of trousers (pants) the legs are 6 foot long, when they should really have that part of material around the top half to cover the important bits instead of everything hanging out of the top.
Whisky
Whisky
Aug 27th 2004, 2:27 am
#193
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 13,233
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Update your CD collection to aussie standards before you come.
Visit Woolies and search through the bargain bins for any rock albums from before 1999.
Visit Woolies and search through the bargain bins for any rock albums from before 1999.
Aug 27th 2004, 2:30 am
#194
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 13,233
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Originally Posted by Badge
sorry; a fraction man, a fraction....
eg for me AUS100.000 / GBP30,000 = 3ish - this is the rate I use...I am quids(or dollars in)
for a London banker working in Aussie Maccas:
AUS20,000/GBP100,000 = fraction - don't come to Aus!!!
AUS45,000/GBP17,500 = 2.5 the real rate, as you say, for an average bod....come to Australia but it may only be same sh*t, shiner bucket...
BM
eg for me AUS100.000 / GBP30,000 = 3ish - this is the rate I use...I am quids(or dollars in)
for a London banker working in Aussie Maccas:
AUS20,000/GBP100,000 = fraction - don't come to Aus!!!
AUS45,000/GBP17,500 = 2.5 the real rate, as you say, for an average bod....come to Australia but it may only be same sh*t, shiner bucket...
BM
Aug 27th 2004, 2:34 am
#195
(It's not my real name)
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Ilukapool. WA
Posts: 12,467
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Originally Posted by whisky
Spend half of the year filling the swimming pool because of the heat evaporating the water, and then the other half of the year having to empty the blighter because it rains and rains and rains and rains
Whisky
Whisky