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Old Aug 27th 2005, 12:51 am   #1
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Unhappy Killer blow

I posted a few days ago to say that we'd got our visas. It was a magic moment and a just reward, we thought, for our patience and determination. What a buzz, things were starting to come together.

Then it came.....God's trump card to test that determination.

My Mum was taken in to hospital with a heart problem, and tests are indicating she has atrial fibrillation and arterial thrombosis. Drugs will help they say, and I guess prevention is better than cure but now my horizon is a little foggy where once it was clear. She's fine in herself and will hopefully be up and firing on all cylinders in days once the prescription for warfarin is calculated, and she starts responding.

However, at her bedside earlier this evening, she asked me "Any news on the visa?"

I told her there was progress, but the details could wait until she was at home; we could talk there. Her face sank, she knew instantly. My first thought was "what have I done?"

I've read several threads like this, skipped over others, yet never thought it would be me sharing my anguish with BE. Many of you have been here, done it, gone through it and 10 times worse besides I'm sure. Over the past 2 years, the promise of that elusive new challenge, the hope of making a new life in Sydney has been strong enough to see us through all of lifes' trials.

So why then, do these recent developments fill me with dread?
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Old Aug 27th 2005, 1:01 am   #2
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Default Re: Killer blow

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Originally Posted by <")))><
?"


So why then, do these recent developments fill me with dread?
Because you only have one mum

Matts Mum was diagnosed with MS when we were in the visa process. Its gut wrenching. Only you know if you can cope with what lies ahead. Good luck and all the very best with whatever you do
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Old Aug 27th 2005, 1:07 am   #3
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Default Re: Killer blow

sorry to hear that your mum is poorly, as hevs said only you know what you can cope with - i hope it all come right in the end -

best wishes


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Old Aug 27th 2005, 1:10 am   #4
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Unhappy Re: Killer blow

Quote:
Originally Posted by <")))><
I posted a few days ago to say that we'd got our visas. It was a magic moment and a just reward, we thought, for our patience and determination. What a buzz, things were starting to come together.

Then it came.....God's trump card to test that determination.

My Mum was taken in to hospital with a heart problem, and tests are indicating she has atrial fibrillation and arterial thrombosis. Drugs will help they say, and I guess prevention is better than cure but now my horizon is a little foggy where once it was clear. She's fine in herself and will hopefully be up and firing on all cylinders in days once the prescription for warfarin is calculated, and she starts responding.

However, at her bedside earlier this evening, she asked me "Any news on the visa?"

I told her there was progress, but the details could wait until she was at home; we could talk there. Her face sank, she knew instantly. My first thought was "what have I done?"

I've read several threads like this, skipped over others, yet never thought it would be me sharing my anguish with BE. Many of you have been here, done it, gone through it and 10 times worse besides I'm sure. Over the past 2 years, the promise of that elusive new challenge, the hope of making a new life in Sydney has been strong enough to see us through all of lifes' trials.

So why then, do these recent developments fill me with dread?
Mate, that's just awful. So sorry to hear it.

I lost my own grandfather last month. I hadn't seen him since December 2003, shortly before I came to the UK.

He was a Norfolk boy, but died in Australia (where he'd emigrated after serving in the navy during WWII.) And there I was - a West Australian boy, born and bred - stuck in my grandfather's homeland and unable to afford a ticket home for his funeral.

Irony? You better believe it.

It's called the "tyranny of distance" - and I think it's probably what's weighing on your mind right now.

Your mum sounds like a lovely woman; typically unselfish, as all the best mums are. Her first desire is to see you happy, and she won't be happy until she knows that you are.

Hold that thought, mate. Fulfill your dream.

Make her happy.
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Old Aug 27th 2005, 1:41 am   #5
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Default Re: Killer blow

Quote:
Originally Posted by <")))><

I've read several threads like this, skipped over others, yet never thought it would be me sharing my anguish with BE. Many of you have been here, done it, gone through it and 10 times worse besides I'm sure. Over the past 2 years, the promise of that elusive new challenge, the hope of making a new life in Sydney has been strong enough to see us through all of lifes' trials.

So why then, do these recent developments fill me with dread?
Because this is reality isn't it? You love your Mum and the thing that all of us dread is something happening to our nearest and dearest.

My wonderful Dad died in July whilst I was here in Australia. It was incredibly hard being so far away and the feelings of uselessness were overwhelming, and still are. But we made the decision to emigrate, we have to live with reality and get on with it.

The one thing it taught me was that I cannot control the furture and I cannot plan too far ahead because who the hell knows whats going to happen?

I sincerely hope your Mum responds to her treatment and she get's back on the straight and narrow. Just take each day as it comes.

All the very best to you.
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Old Aug 27th 2005, 2:12 am   #6
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Default Re: Killer blow

Don't know if it helps, but many of us have tough situations like this to face during the process of moving to Au. We've found our 'new' friends over here have been terrifically supportive & understanding.

Good luck with it all & hope your Mom improves quickly..

Cheers,
Anya.
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Old Aug 27th 2005, 8:48 am   #7
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Default Re: Killer blow

Sorry to hear about your mum. Hopefully she'll soon be on the mend with lots of love and support from what sounds like her lovely family

These things are sent to try us m8. We too went through a similar situation so I know how awful it is, the guilt, the denial, the mixed emotions and the "torn in two" feelings that create a feeling of anti climax

Just be strong, continue to be supportive towards your mum and stick together as a family. Cos that's all you can do.

It'll all work out right in the end.

Good luck to your mum, and hope you find strength and happiness.

Phoenix x
 
Old Aug 27th 2005, 8:56 am   #8
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Default Re: Killer blow

Sorry to hear your family's bad news fish. Not sure if it's any comfort, but that's pretty much exactly what my mum was diagnosed with nearly 10 years ago. She's still on the Warfarin, but in the intervening period managed to pass her medicals and emigrate to NSW where she leads a happy life. I guess what I'm trying to say is that whilst it seems a bit bleak now, modern medicine's an amazing thing and I'm sure your mum's got many happy years ahead of her.
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Old Aug 27th 2005, 9:01 am   #9
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Default Re: Killer blow

Quote:
Originally Posted by <")))><
I posted a few days ago to say that we'd got our visas. It was a magic moment and a just reward, we thought, for our patience and determination. What a buzz, things were starting to come together.

Then it came.....God's trump card to test that determination.

My Mum was taken in to hospital with a heart problem, and tests are indicating she has atrial fibrillation and arterial thrombosis. Drugs will help they say, and I guess prevention is better than cure but now my horizon is a little foggy where once it was clear. She's fine in herself and will hopefully be up and firing on all cylinders in days once the prescription for warfarin is calculated, and she starts responding.

However, at her bedside earlier this evening, she asked me "Any news on the visa?"

I told her there was progress, but the details could wait until she was at home; we could talk there. Her face sank, she knew instantly. My first thought was "what have I done?"

I've read several threads like this, skipped over others, yet never thought it would be me sharing my anguish with BE. Many of you have been here, done it, gone through it and 10 times worse besides I'm sure. Over the past 2 years, the promise of that elusive new challenge, the hope of making a new life in Sydney has been strong enough to see us through all of lifes' trials.

So why then, do these recent developments fill me with dread?
It must hurt like hell for you right now. There is a big part of me that feels tremendous guilt at the thought of leaving my mum to cope with things here. Complicated family physical and mental health history that my mum holds together. Yet the other side is that I have a unique chance to try a new life in another part of this amazing world before it's time for me to pass on. I will be taking the grandchildren away which hurts as well. Another thing that my mum has had to overcome. She was devasted when we first told her but she has come around to the idea, discussed life issues many times, and on occasion has even relished the prospect of coming out for a while.

I know that my situation is nothing compared to yours but just wnted to try and say that it will (hopefully) get easier through time. She is your mum and only wants the best for you deep down. She will miss you and you her but you have a chance in life that many others will never ever get. Take it and enjoy the experience.

Take care.

Ginny
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Old Aug 27th 2005, 10:03 am   #10
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Default Re: Killer blow

Sorry to hear about your mum, I know just what you are going through, I lost my mum 9 months after emigrating to Australia, one of the toughest things I felt was not being there with her when she got ill, but I flew home 3 weeks before she died, celebrated mothers day and her birthday when i was there. All I can do is treasure memories of the final 3 weeks.
I have developed a heart condition since migrating here(stress i expect!) once the medication was sorted I really picked up, so hopefully once your mums is settled she will pick up too and able to lead a long and happy life.
But as others have said only you can know how you are going to feel once you have migrated. We left some money in the UK as an emergency fund should we need to fly home. Came in very handy,
Hope everything goes ok for you and your mum















titch]It must hurt like hell for you right now. There is a big part of me that feels tremendous guilt at the thought of leaving my mum to cope with things here. Complicated family physical and mental health history that my mum holds together. Yet the other side is that I have a unique chance to try a new life in another part of this amazing world before it's time for me to pass on. I will be taking the grandchildren away which hurts as well. Another thing that my mum has had to overcome. She was devasted when we first told her but she has come around to the idea, discussed life issues many times, and on occasion has even relished the prospect of coming out for a while.

I know that my situation is nothing compared to yours but just wnted to try and say that it will (hopefully) get easier through time. She is your mum and only wants the best for you deep down. She will miss you and you her but you have a chance in life that many others will never ever get. Take it and enjoy the experience.

Take care.

Ginny[/QUOTE]
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Old Aug 27th 2005, 10:08 am   #11
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Default Re: Killer blow

Quote:
Originally Posted by <")))><
I posted a few days ago to say that we'd got our visas. It was a magic moment and a just reward, we thought, for our patience and determination. What a buzz, things were starting to come together.

Then it came.....God's trump card to test that determination.

My Mum was taken in to hospital with a heart problem, and tests are indicating she has atrial fibrillation and arterial thrombosis. Drugs will help they say, and I guess prevention is better than cure but now my horizon is a little foggy where once it was clear. She's fine in herself and will hopefully be up and firing on all cylinders in days once the prescription for warfarin is calculated, and she starts responding.

However, at her bedside earlier this evening, she asked me "Any news on the visa?"

I told her there was progress, but the details could wait until she was at home; we could talk there. Her face sank, she knew instantly. My first thought was "what have I done?"

I've read several threads like this, skipped over others, yet never thought it would be me sharing my anguish with BE. Many of you have been here, done it, gone through it and 10 times worse besides I'm sure. Over the past 2 years, the promise of that elusive new challenge, the hope of making a new life in Sydney has been strong enough to see us through all of lifes' trials.

So why then, do these recent developments fill me with dread?

sorry to hear your news, but if it will help at all, atrial fibrillation (AF) is a very common condition that many people have (often without realising) and which is very managable on medication. On the ward where i work we have many patients with the condition, and they have had it for years and years. There should be a cardiac specialist nurse somewhere around your hospital who should be able to put your mind at rest.

good lcuk,

sue
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Old Aug 27th 2005, 5:35 pm   #12
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Default Re: Killer blow

Thanks all, very kind words from every reply. Feel stronger about things today, having spoken to her over the phone this morning, to others who have had similar complaints and reading all your replies. You lot are ace! Cheers
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Old Aug 27th 2005, 5:49 pm   #13
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Default Re: Killer blow

Quote:
Originally Posted by <")))><
I posted a few days ago to say that we'd got our visas. It was a magic moment and a just reward, we thought, for our patience and determination. What a buzz, things were starting to come together.

Then it came.....God's trump card to test that determination.

My Mum was taken in to hospital with a heart problem, and tests are indicating she has atrial fibrillation and arterial thrombosis. Drugs will help they say, and I guess prevention is better than cure but now my horizon is a little foggy where once it was clear. She's fine in herself and will hopefully be up and firing on all cylinders in days once the prescription for warfarin is calculated, and she starts responding.

However, at her bedside earlier this evening, she asked me "Any news on the visa?"

I told her there was progress, but the details could wait until she was at home; we could talk there. Her face sank, she knew instantly. My first thought was "what have I done?"

I've read several threads like this, skipped over others, yet never thought it would be me sharing my anguish with BE. Many of you have been here, done it, gone through it and 10 times worse besides I'm sure. Over the past 2 years, the promise of that elusive new challenge, the hope of making a new life in Sydney has been strong enough to see us through all of lifes' trials.

So why then, do these recent developments fill me with dread?

Wish i had some amazing words of wisdom and a magic wand!
But just wanna say hope everything works out
Good Luck
Take Care
Kris xx
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Old Aug 27th 2005, 8:26 pm   #14
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sorry to hear that sad news

im sure things will work out for you

good luck whatever you decide to do

jan & gaz xxx
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Old Aug 27th 2005, 9:17 pm   #15
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Default Re: Killer blow

My mother has has had breast cancer (she has been cleared now) but she has encouraged myself and my husband to move to Oz for a better life. I send my love to you and your mum and hope she is on the road to recovery. Just remember she will want what is best for you and your family.
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