mark wool

We have a huge Dilemma. We have been in oz for five months now and love the beaches the out door lifestyle. I have a job which pays around 65k a year and i get overtime. Its not great money and to be honest we are just struggling by with very little money. I am looking for other jobs which pay more but it appears my money is not bad for my trade. My wife is a teacher and was offered full-time work last week which paid well but meant putting my eleventh month old son and three year old daughter in full time child care which we are both very unkeen on even more so now after the article in the Courier Mail magazine yesterday. I like Australia but my wife is not to settled and is struggling to make friends. We had a good life in the uk with family friends, and reasonable money. After talking to many ozzies i feel that oz has become a more hectic lifestyle with them becoming a little more materialistic. To top it of i have been making phonecalls to the uk this week and i can walk back into a well paid job tommorow and work is picking up considerably, the bank has also said i can get a morgage no probs.
Its a really difficult decision but we are struggling of one wage to the point that we cant survive, everything in the uk was more laid back so do we just call it quits.

DeadVim

Sounds like you've made your mind up to go back ... but I wouldn't base any decision on anything you read in The Courier Mail ...

If you experience, personally, Childcare issues then yeh, act on them but I'd pay little attention to the so-called 'journalism' around here.

Also, yeh, Aussies might say things are getting more hectic and materialistic (and they may be right, relatively) but how do YOUR family feel?

Personally I'd rather bring up a kid in Australia (vs UK) but that's my opinion. I'd wager that when you got back to the UK then all the same issues would confront you but 10-fold (due to more media, if that is what you choose to base your opinions on).

5 months? Do you really "love the beaches and the outdoor lifestyle"? If you have asked these kinds of questions this quickly then you may as well cut your losses and book the flight, in my opinion.

kar-kier

Could your wife not look at going back part time? Maybe a couple of days a week? That way she could make friends at school and still spend time with the children! If you can 'manage' just now, a couple of days teaching a week would make life much more comfortable - Just a thought!

quoll

If you had a good life with a stable job in a nice place and good support network, why settle for anything less?

Personally, I would rather have brought up my kids in UK but each to their own.

I think you would probably have to resign yourself to being one of the two income working families to make a go of it here - that's what I see happening all around me, just to make the mortgage payments and keep up with the Joneses. If your life would be better in UK, then go for it (and the added bonus is that you will have more holidays so you can get your sun fix when you need it!). Always take opportunities when they are offered.

Dorothy

Trust me when I say that your wife will settle and make friends much easier if she is working. Staying home with young children does nothing to help her socialise with anyone. Getting out to work will make her part of a workplace (which for me has been great for socialising) not to mention help with your money situation.

Look at the daycare option but pay little attention to the "journalism" here. Nothing sells newspapers like a little OTT reporting. One case of gastro here becomes "CHILDCARE INTESTINAL DISEASE OUTBREAK. DAY CARE CENTRES FEEDING CHILDREN TAINTED MEAT" Choose your daycare well and your kids will get some socialisation as well.

ExSmoggie

Going back must be really tempting but can you really say after five months that you have given it a proper go here? Maybe Australia isn't for you long term but if you go back to the UK now, won't you always wonder what it would have been like if you had stayed here a bit longer?

I'd keep battling for a while with jobs, friends etc and try everything you can to make it work. If you still aren't heppy, go back to the UK but at least you can do that with the knowledge that you gave it everything. If and when you get to that point, I don't think it will be a dilemma, you will just know it is the right choice.

I love it here now and have a great life but if I'd been given the option to go back to the UK anytime in the first 2 years, I'd have been off like a shot!

mark wool

We have looked around nurseries and some of the sights have been worrying. They just are not regulated and with the lack of childcare available there is not much pressure to provide good care. With that said it is by the by it was my wifes and mine decission to have children and we both feel that putting them in fulltime childcare is not fair on them.
I do understand what you mean by wanting children to be brought up in oz put all circumstances have to be right.

mark wool

Just being part-time makes it touch and go as to weather or not its worth it. Take the childcare into consideration. Its just expensive here.

mark wool

I think you are right. I am not bothered about keeping up with the joneses but just th have a resonable home in a good area where you are not stressing about all the bills with a little left over to enjoy yourselves. After all is that not one of the reasons we all came. For a better life. I just dont think that modern oz can provide this.

oz bound

Sorry to hear you and your family are finding it tough. I personally think family day care is better than kindy and it's a good bit cheaper too and paid by the hour rather than the day. Take a look here http://www.careforkids.com.au/default.asp Would your wife be willing to try working 2 or 3 days a week for a wee while and see if it makes a difference to you financially and to her settling? If she were and still find it changes nothing then you know you've tried.

Good luck to you whatever you decide.

DeadVim

Our daughter (now prep age) was in childcare (C&K - Great but closed down by Westfield Scum at Garden City, ABC - OK, but more 'profit' oriented) for 3 days a week ... we did not have any major issues but I can see it would be a stumbling block if there were.

I guess the thing to think about is, is this issue a show-stopper on it's own or can you find a way around it until the kids make it to school age?

And then, is the standard of school education not good enough? ....

jan

In the big picture even a couple of years is nothing! So five months is not really long enough to really know for sure what you are looking for.Life really is a rollercoaster and i guess you pays your money and take your chances! I would question why you left the u.k.? And why you chose Oz? No one can really advise either way as we all base our judgements on our own set of circustances which are so individual. At the end of the day it is not really a question of which one! As you well know many return to the u.k then come back to Oz and vice versa and that is a VERY expensive excersise. Depending how much money you brought over and what rate you got is also something to think about as i don't think there will be a much better time than this to return to the u.k. financially. Some lucky people sold there houses exchanged their money and can now return and buy back their houses for 40% less than they sold it for in just a couple of years!
Anyway Good luck to you whichever direction you go!

paddyo

OK, have you thought about your wife working full time as a teacher, how does the salary compare? You be a stay at home Dad, be more involved with your kids and can really be enriched by the lifestyle, outdoors ect, while your wife makes lots of new friends and then in turn becomes more ameniable to the Oz way. Happy wife = happy life!!!

Bob Tonnor

I cant really say that much about going back, thats a personal decision that is best left up to yourselves. As for childcare, i took my daughter to some child-carers 4 years ago, when we got there the bloke had a mohican and tatts all over his head, tattooed tears on his face and his missus was the same, they lived in a purple house and rode a black and chrome trike, i was horrified. They turned out to be absolutely amazing, the best. My daughter still has a photo of them up on her wall, sadly the missus died in a car accident a couple of years back and she got a half page obituary in the Sydney Morning Herald, so i dont think you should go on looks alone. Ask around the teachers at the local primary or if anyone recommends then give that a try.

Good luck

Bob

watford

there are some lovely caring childcare centres out there.All my children went to a great kindy in Springwood brisbane.
I know how you feel but will all the reasons you wanted to leave the uk still be there if you went back?