Help! My son is very unsettled.....
Jul 19th 2011, 1:17 am
#31
Account Closed
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 14,188
Re: Help! My son is very unsettled.....
Not convinced it's a 'moving over here' thing. There were always boys (generalisation granted but from what I saw, boys were worse) doing exactly the same thing when my girls were in the early years of school in the UK. Obviously moving overseas doesn't help but some kids do this and some don't. The kids get over it as soon as mum leaves but mum stresses 24/7 thinking they've done something evil. The joys of parenthood!
Jul 19th 2011, 1:30 am
#32
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 48
Re: Help! My son is very unsettled.....
Hi Linz,
I wanted to reply as a sometime reader of these boards who moved here many years ago now and has much older children, but can still remember the worries.
There were certainly similar ages and stages with my kids that weren't related to a move of school. For example, when they suddenly realise that everyone dies, including you, and that makes saying goodbye scary in a new way they don't want to talk about.
My daughter behaved just as you describe aged 6 at a new school where the kids had to line up in twos to go into class after the bell. She worried each day that she wouldn't have someone to pair up with. Once in the classroom everything was fine. It took us quite a while to get her to tell us what was bothering her.
I guess most often though it is just that it really is not a great feeling to go from a cosy one-to-one with your Mum into the relative anonymity of the classroom. Even as a 50-year old I don't like saying goodbye to the people I love (although I am a little better at keeping my emotions in check than your 6 year old).
I think the people who say it will pass/he will get over it are absolutely right. But one thing I've definitely learnt as a parent is there will be a brand new source of worry along soon enough. When you have changed their lives by moving country, you feel entirely responsible for everything that happens, but the reality is that even if you had stayed put worrying things would still happen (friends move away, teachers change, other kids are mean, grandparents die).
I'm trying to think of any practical ideas that might help, other than trying to find out if there is a specific worry. You've probably already considered these:
Is there one of your son's friends he could accompany to school (or meet on the way to school) - i.e. you could meet them/pick them up and go in together? If you arrived with another child (and their parent) it might help both of you?
You could try talking to him on the way in about something he is looking forward to at school later in the day so that he's thinking past the saying goodbye bit.
You could try changing the routine in some other way - like parting a little way down the street before you get to the school playground or even using a school bus. (Some kids worry about the bus, but others love them.)
Does the school ask parents to come and help out in the canteen or by hearing reading? If you could do that sometimes that might possibly help him to feel that there's less of a divide between school and home (but I do realise that can be hard with a younger one).
Finally, why not ask him (when he's calm maybe at the weekend) to come up with his own idea for a way to change the start of the day so that he's not so upset first thing? I'm guessing he's old enough to think about this?
It sounds as if your son is a happy little boy most of the time and I do hope this passes quickly. Don't beat yourself up about it. He clearly has a great Mum who loves him dearly and that will see him through a great deal.
I wanted to reply as a sometime reader of these boards who moved here many years ago now and has much older children, but can still remember the worries.
There were certainly similar ages and stages with my kids that weren't related to a move of school. For example, when they suddenly realise that everyone dies, including you, and that makes saying goodbye scary in a new way they don't want to talk about.
My daughter behaved just as you describe aged 6 at a new school where the kids had to line up in twos to go into class after the bell. She worried each day that she wouldn't have someone to pair up with. Once in the classroom everything was fine. It took us quite a while to get her to tell us what was bothering her.
I guess most often though it is just that it really is not a great feeling to go from a cosy one-to-one with your Mum into the relative anonymity of the classroom. Even as a 50-year old I don't like saying goodbye to the people I love (although I am a little better at keeping my emotions in check than your 6 year old).
I think the people who say it will pass/he will get over it are absolutely right. But one thing I've definitely learnt as a parent is there will be a brand new source of worry along soon enough. When you have changed their lives by moving country, you feel entirely responsible for everything that happens, but the reality is that even if you had stayed put worrying things would still happen (friends move away, teachers change, other kids are mean, grandparents die).
I'm trying to think of any practical ideas that might help, other than trying to find out if there is a specific worry. You've probably already considered these:
Is there one of your son's friends he could accompany to school (or meet on the way to school) - i.e. you could meet them/pick them up and go in together? If you arrived with another child (and their parent) it might help both of you?
You could try talking to him on the way in about something he is looking forward to at school later in the day so that he's thinking past the saying goodbye bit.
You could try changing the routine in some other way - like parting a little way down the street before you get to the school playground or even using a school bus. (Some kids worry about the bus, but others love them.)
Does the school ask parents to come and help out in the canteen or by hearing reading? If you could do that sometimes that might possibly help him to feel that there's less of a divide between school and home (but I do realise that can be hard with a younger one).
Finally, why not ask him (when he's calm maybe at the weekend) to come up with his own idea for a way to change the start of the day so that he's not so upset first thing? I'm guessing he's old enough to think about this?
It sounds as if your son is a happy little boy most of the time and I do hope this passes quickly. Don't beat yourself up about it. He clearly has a great Mum who loves him dearly and that will see him through a great deal.
Jul 19th 2011, 1:33 am
#33
Social Grenade Thrower
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: South Coast, NSW
Posts: 3,625
Re: Help! My son is very unsettled.....
Hi Linz,
I wanted to reply as a sometime reader of these boards who moved here many years ago now and has much older children, but can still remember the worries.
There were certainly similar ages and stages with my kids that weren't related to a move of school. For example, when they suddenly realise that everyone dies, including you, and that makes saying goodbye scary in a new way they don't want to talk about.
My daughter behaved just as you describe aged 6 at a new school where the kids had to line up in twos to go into class after the bell. She worried each day that she wouldn't have someone to pair up with. Once in the classroom everything was fine. It took us quite a while to get her to tell us what was bothering her.
I guess most often though it is just that it really is not a great feeling to go from a cosy one-to-one with your Mum into the relative anonymity of the classroom. Even as a 50-year old I don't like saying goodbye to the people I love (although I am a little better at keeping my emotions in check than your 6 year old).
I think the people who say it will pass/he will get over it are absolutely right. But one thing I've definitely learnt as a parent is there will be a brand new source of worry along soon enough. When you have changed their lives by moving country, you feel entirely responsible for everything that happens, but the reality is that even if you had stayed put worrying things would still happen (friends move away, teachers change, other kids are mean, grandparents die).
I'm trying to think of any practical ideas that might help, other than trying to find out if there is a specific worry. You've probably already considered these:
Is there one of your son's friends he could accompany to school (or meet on the way to school) - i.e. you could meet them/pick them up and go in together? If you arrived with another child (and their parent) it might help both of you?
You could try talking to him on the way in about something he is looking forward to at school later in the day so that he's thinking past the saying goodbye bit.
You could try changing the routine in some other way - like parting a little way down the street before you get to the school playground or even using a school bus. (Some kids worry about the bus, but others love them.)
Does the school ask parents to come and help out in the canteen or by hearing reading? If you could do that sometimes that might possibly help him to feel that there's less of a divide between school and home (but I do realise that can be hard with a younger one).
Finally, why not ask him (when he's calm maybe at the weekend) to come up with his own idea for a way to change the start of the day so that he's not so upset first thing? I'm guessing he's old enough to think about this?
It sounds as if your son is a happy little boy most of the time and I do hope this passes quickly. Don't beat yourself up about it. He clearly has a great Mum who loves him dearly and that will see him through a great deal.
I wanted to reply as a sometime reader of these boards who moved here many years ago now and has much older children, but can still remember the worries.
There were certainly similar ages and stages with my kids that weren't related to a move of school. For example, when they suddenly realise that everyone dies, including you, and that makes saying goodbye scary in a new way they don't want to talk about.
My daughter behaved just as you describe aged 6 at a new school where the kids had to line up in twos to go into class after the bell. She worried each day that she wouldn't have someone to pair up with. Once in the classroom everything was fine. It took us quite a while to get her to tell us what was bothering her.
I guess most often though it is just that it really is not a great feeling to go from a cosy one-to-one with your Mum into the relative anonymity of the classroom. Even as a 50-year old I don't like saying goodbye to the people I love (although I am a little better at keeping my emotions in check than your 6 year old).
I think the people who say it will pass/he will get over it are absolutely right. But one thing I've definitely learnt as a parent is there will be a brand new source of worry along soon enough. When you have changed their lives by moving country, you feel entirely responsible for everything that happens, but the reality is that even if you had stayed put worrying things would still happen (friends move away, teachers change, other kids are mean, grandparents die).
I'm trying to think of any practical ideas that might help, other than trying to find out if there is a specific worry. You've probably already considered these:
Is there one of your son's friends he could accompany to school (or meet on the way to school) - i.e. you could meet them/pick them up and go in together? If you arrived with another child (and their parent) it might help both of you?
You could try talking to him on the way in about something he is looking forward to at school later in the day so that he's thinking past the saying goodbye bit.
You could try changing the routine in some other way - like parting a little way down the street before you get to the school playground or even using a school bus. (Some kids worry about the bus, but others love them.)
Does the school ask parents to come and help out in the canteen or by hearing reading? If you could do that sometimes that might possibly help him to feel that there's less of a divide between school and home (but I do realise that can be hard with a younger one).
Finally, why not ask him (when he's calm maybe at the weekend) to come up with his own idea for a way to change the start of the day so that he's not so upset first thing? I'm guessing he's old enough to think about this?
It sounds as if your son is a happy little boy most of the time and I do hope this passes quickly. Don't beat yourself up about it. He clearly has a great Mum who loves him dearly and that will see him through a great deal.
Jul 19th 2011, 8:50 am
#34
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: Brisbane - at last! Beautiful.x
Posts: 17
Re: Help! My son is very unsettled.....
Linz, ALL kids have stages where they do not want to leave their mother and go into school, in UK and Oz. It is never easy and, particularly for the Mum ,brings about feelings of guilt and loss.
We had it with our son, similar age, for about 3 weeks earlier this year and it tore my wife apart, I, typical male, just said let it pass and don't let it upset you. But it did upset her and no matter what method she used to resolve it it didn';t work. Then...it went!! He just turned to her one day and said, 'sorry mummy for being upset, I'm ok now and want to go to school'! Little bugger had shattered her mind and emotions for 3 weeks and now it was 'OK"!!
Please try and bear with it and use the 'cruel to be kind' motto, it is only in the mornings and as you say he is fine during the day and when you pick him up. He might be jealous of little sister getting you all to herself during the day, its natural.
We had it with our son, similar age, for about 3 weeks earlier this year and it tore my wife apart, I, typical male, just said let it pass and don't let it upset you. But it did upset her and no matter what method she used to resolve it it didn';t work. Then...it went!! He just turned to her one day and said, 'sorry mummy for being upset, I'm ok now and want to go to school'! Little bugger had shattered her mind and emotions for 3 weeks and now it was 'OK"!!
Please try and bear with it and use the 'cruel to be kind' motto, it is only in the mornings and as you say he is fine during the day and when you pick him up. He might be jealous of little sister getting you all to herself during the day, its natural.
Thanks again,
Linz.
Jul 19th 2011, 11:03 am
#35
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 97
Re: Help! My son is very unsettled.....
In my original post I stated that if the problem didn’t rectify itself then it might be advantageous to consult a professional. I wasn’t meaning straight away and I certainly wasn’t implying that they should abdicate their responsibilities as parents and op for an easy option.
Surely if your child had a problem with his eyesight you would consult a optometrist, or a speech problem you would consult a speech pathologist etc. Why, therefore, is it so unusual if your child has an emotional problem ie, acute shyness, bullying, anxiety or depression would you not consult a psychologist or get them some appropriate help ?
Many schools both Primary and Secondary now realize the importance of resilience training ( Geelong Grammar Melbourne has a program ) and are embracing the concept prevention is better than cure.
For those of you who are not aware the definition of resilience is, ‘ [B]The ability to persevere and adjust when faced with adversity ‘.
Professor Seligman in the USA has been studying the effects of the Iraq/Afghanistan war on soldiers and why some come out of the experience seemingly unscathed while others suffer from ‘Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome’ and what factors sets them apart. Resilience is the key and therefore soldiers are now being trained in resilience before combat.
Far better to have children learn how to cope with the pressures of this complex life than resort to drugs ( both legal and illegal) alcohol or other mind numbing pursuits. After all Australia has a huge problem with binge drinking, drugs as well as having one of the highest suicides for youths in the world.
I sincerely hope the original poster's son gets back to normal soon. I am no expert but given the many recent changes I would suspect he is suffering from some grief for his past life, is missing his friends and family and finding it difficult to readjust to a new set of circumstances. Not a nice place for a six year old to be. He obviously has a loving family and given time and understanding hopefully will adapt.
Surely if your child had a problem with his eyesight you would consult a optometrist, or a speech problem you would consult a speech pathologist etc. Why, therefore, is it so unusual if your child has an emotional problem ie, acute shyness, bullying, anxiety or depression would you not consult a psychologist or get them some appropriate help ?
Many schools both Primary and Secondary now realize the importance of resilience training ( Geelong Grammar Melbourne has a program ) and are embracing the concept prevention is better than cure.
For those of you who are not aware the definition of resilience is, ‘ [B]The ability to persevere and adjust when faced with adversity ‘.
Professor Seligman in the USA has been studying the effects of the Iraq/Afghanistan war on soldiers and why some come out of the experience seemingly unscathed while others suffer from ‘Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome’ and what factors sets them apart. Resilience is the key and therefore soldiers are now being trained in resilience before combat.
Far better to have children learn how to cope with the pressures of this complex life than resort to drugs ( both legal and illegal) alcohol or other mind numbing pursuits. After all Australia has a huge problem with binge drinking, drugs as well as having one of the highest suicides for youths in the world.
I sincerely hope the original poster's son gets back to normal soon. I am no expert but given the many recent changes I would suspect he is suffering from some grief for his past life, is missing his friends and family and finding it difficult to readjust to a new set of circumstances. Not a nice place for a six year old to be. He obviously has a loving family and given time and understanding hopefully will adapt.
Jul 19th 2011, 12:40 pm
#36
Social Grenade Thrower
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: South Coast, NSW
Posts: 3,625
Re: Help! My son is very unsettled.....
In my original post I stated that if the problem didn’t rectify itself then it might be advantageous to consult a professional. I wasn’t meaning straight away and I certainly wasn’t implying that they should abdicate their responsibilities as parents and op for an easy option.
Surely if your child had a problem with his eyesight you would consult a optometrist, or a speech problem you would consult a speech pathologist etc. Why, therefore, is it so unusual if your child has an emotional problem ie, acute shyness, bullying, anxiety or depression would you not consult a psychologist or get them some appropriate help ?
Many schools both Primary and Secondary now realize the importance of resilience training ( Geelong Grammar Melbourne has a program ) and are embracing the concept prevention is better than cure.
For those of you who are not aware the definition of resilience is, ‘ [B]The ability to persevere and adjust when faced with adversity ‘.
Professor Seligman in the USA has been studying the effects of the Iraq/Afghanistan war on soldiers and why some come out of the experience seemingly unscathed while others suffer from ‘Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome’ and what factors sets them apart. Resilience is the key and therefore soldiers are now being trained in resilience before combat.
Far better to have children learn how to cope with the pressures of this complex life than resort to drugs ( both legal and illegal) alcohol or other mind numbing pursuits. After all Australia has a huge problem with binge drinking, drugs as well as having one of the highest suicides for youths in the world.
I sincerely hope the original poster's son gets back to normal soon. I am no expert but given the many recent changes I would suspect he is suffering from some grief for his past life, is missing his friends and family and finding it difficult to readjust to a new set of circumstances. Not a nice place for a six year old to be. He obviously has a loving family and given time and understanding hopefully will adapt.
Surely if your child had a problem with his eyesight you would consult a optometrist, or a speech problem you would consult a speech pathologist etc. Why, therefore, is it so unusual if your child has an emotional problem ie, acute shyness, bullying, anxiety or depression would you not consult a psychologist or get them some appropriate help ?
Many schools both Primary and Secondary now realize the importance of resilience training ( Geelong Grammar Melbourne has a program ) and are embracing the concept prevention is better than cure.
For those of you who are not aware the definition of resilience is, ‘ [B]The ability to persevere and adjust when faced with adversity ‘.
Professor Seligman in the USA has been studying the effects of the Iraq/Afghanistan war on soldiers and why some come out of the experience seemingly unscathed while others suffer from ‘Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome’ and what factors sets them apart. Resilience is the key and therefore soldiers are now being trained in resilience before combat.
Far better to have children learn how to cope with the pressures of this complex life than resort to drugs ( both legal and illegal) alcohol or other mind numbing pursuits. After all Australia has a huge problem with binge drinking, drugs as well as having one of the highest suicides for youths in the world.
I sincerely hope the original poster's son gets back to normal soon. I am no expert but given the many recent changes I would suspect he is suffering from some grief for his past life, is missing his friends and family and finding it difficult to readjust to a new set of circumstances. Not a nice place for a six year old to be. He obviously has a loving family and given time and understanding hopefully will adapt.
Jul 20th 2011, 11:09 am
#37
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: Brisbane - at last! Beautiful.x
Posts: 17
Re: Help! My son is very unsettled.....
Hi Linz,
I wanted to reply as a sometime reader of these boards who moved here many years ago now and has much older children, but can still remember the worries.
There were certainly similar ages and stages with my kids that weren't related to a move of school. For example, when they suddenly realise that everyone dies, including you, and that makes saying goodbye scary in a new way they don't want to talk about.
My daughter behaved just as you describe aged 6 at a new school where the kids had to line up in twos to go into class after the bell. She worried each day that she wouldn't have someone to pair up with. Once in the classroom everything was fine. It took us quite a while to get her to tell us what was bothering her.
I guess most often though it is just that it really is not a great feeling to go from a cosy one-to-one with your Mum into the relative anonymity of the classroom. Even as a 50-year old I don't like saying goodbye to the people I love (although I am a little better at keeping my emotions in check than your 6 year old).
I think the people who say it will pass/he will get over it are absolutely right. But one thing I've definitely learnt as a parent is there will be a brand new source of worry along soon enough. When you have changed their lives by moving country, you feel entirely responsible for everything that happens, but the reality is that even if you had stayed put worrying things would still happen (friends move away, teachers change, other kids are mean, grandparents die).
I'm trying to think of any practical ideas that might help, other than trying to find out if there is a specific worry. You've probably already considered these:
Is there one of your son's friends he could accompany to school (or meet on the way to school) - i.e. you could meet them/pick them up and go in together? If you arrived with another child (and their parent) it might help both of you?
You could try talking to him on the way in about something he is looking forward to at school later in the day so that he's thinking past the saying goodbye bit.
You could try changing the routine in some other way - like parting a little way down the street before you get to the school playground or even using a school bus. (Some kids worry about the bus, but others love them.)
Does the school ask parents to come and help out in the canteen or by hearing reading? If you could do that sometimes that might possibly help him to feel that there's less of a divide between school and home (but I do realise that can be hard with a younger one).
Finally, why not ask him (when he's calm maybe at the weekend) to come up with his own idea for a way to change the start of the day so that he's not so upset first thing? I'm guessing he's old enough to think about this?
It sounds as if your son is a happy little boy most of the time and I do hope this passes quickly. Don't beat yourself up about it. He clearly has a great Mum who loves him dearly and that will see him through a great deal.
I wanted to reply as a sometime reader of these boards who moved here many years ago now and has much older children, but can still remember the worries.
There were certainly similar ages and stages with my kids that weren't related to a move of school. For example, when they suddenly realise that everyone dies, including you, and that makes saying goodbye scary in a new way they don't want to talk about.
My daughter behaved just as you describe aged 6 at a new school where the kids had to line up in twos to go into class after the bell. She worried each day that she wouldn't have someone to pair up with. Once in the classroom everything was fine. It took us quite a while to get her to tell us what was bothering her.
I guess most often though it is just that it really is not a great feeling to go from a cosy one-to-one with your Mum into the relative anonymity of the classroom. Even as a 50-year old I don't like saying goodbye to the people I love (although I am a little better at keeping my emotions in check than your 6 year old).
I think the people who say it will pass/he will get over it are absolutely right. But one thing I've definitely learnt as a parent is there will be a brand new source of worry along soon enough. When you have changed their lives by moving country, you feel entirely responsible for everything that happens, but the reality is that even if you had stayed put worrying things would still happen (friends move away, teachers change, other kids are mean, grandparents die).
I'm trying to think of any practical ideas that might help, other than trying to find out if there is a specific worry. You've probably already considered these:
Is there one of your son's friends he could accompany to school (or meet on the way to school) - i.e. you could meet them/pick them up and go in together? If you arrived with another child (and their parent) it might help both of you?
You could try talking to him on the way in about something he is looking forward to at school later in the day so that he's thinking past the saying goodbye bit.
You could try changing the routine in some other way - like parting a little way down the street before you get to the school playground or even using a school bus. (Some kids worry about the bus, but others love them.)
Does the school ask parents to come and help out in the canteen or by hearing reading? If you could do that sometimes that might possibly help him to feel that there's less of a divide between school and home (but I do realise that can be hard with a younger one).
Finally, why not ask him (when he's calm maybe at the weekend) to come up with his own idea for a way to change the start of the day so that he's not so upset first thing? I'm guessing he's old enough to think about this?
It sounds as if your son is a happy little boy most of the time and I do hope this passes quickly. Don't beat yourself up about it. He clearly has a great Mum who loves him dearly and that will see him through a great deal.
Linz
Jul 20th 2011, 11:19 am
#38
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: Brisbane - at last! Beautiful.x
Posts: 17
Re: Help! My son is very unsettled.....
Hi,
Just wished to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who replied to my post, it has made me feel a lot better to know I'm not alone in this.
The last two days have been better, I spoke to him about why he was sad and again reassured him that there was no need to be and that I will be there everyday to pick him up from school.
I've also introduced a reward chart (following great advice from a BE member.x) and let him choose a treat at the end of the week if we have no tears in the morning (the shame of having to bribe my son!!.... although he seems really happy with the thought of getting a treat.. he wants the treat to be some new lego btw).
Taking it a day at a time.
Thanks again to everyone....
Just wished to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who replied to my post, it has made me feel a lot better to know I'm not alone in this.
The last two days have been better, I spoke to him about why he was sad and again reassured him that there was no need to be and that I will be there everyday to pick him up from school.
I've also introduced a reward chart (following great advice from a BE member.x) and let him choose a treat at the end of the week if we have no tears in the morning (the shame of having to bribe my son!!.... although he seems really happy with the thought of getting a treat.. he wants the treat to be some new lego btw).
Taking it a day at a time.
Thanks again to everyone....
Jul 20th 2011, 11:21 pm
#39
Just Joined
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 28
Re: Help! My son is very unsettled.....
I've read through this thread really quickly but have found it interesting as my daughter (who turned 6 in May) is doing exactly the same thing. We are currently in Germany and she was attending a British school until Easter when she moved into the German system where they don't start school until they are 6 so she goes to a Kindergarten. The last 3 weeks or so my daughter has been having tears, clinging onto me when I drop her off and I have been feeling guilty for leaving her so I do think that perhaps it is just a phase.
Having said this there was one thing in your post that interested me, you said that your son had completed a lot of the work in the UK and so the work isn't too difficult. I wondered whether he is being challenged enough, I have thought the same thing about my daughter as she can read and write etc and so is advanced compared to the German children (at the moment they do catch up pretty quick once in school). I think my daughter is now bored with the Kindergarten and wants something a bit more challenging and maybe it's the same with your son. Just a thought, could be totally wrong but something worth thinking about, I'm just not sure how you could fix that but hopefully you said he has been better the last few days so fingers crossed you've found something that makes you both happier.
HTH
Having said this there was one thing in your post that interested me, you said that your son had completed a lot of the work in the UK and so the work isn't too difficult. I wondered whether he is being challenged enough, I have thought the same thing about my daughter as she can read and write etc and so is advanced compared to the German children (at the moment they do catch up pretty quick once in school). I think my daughter is now bored with the Kindergarten and wants something a bit more challenging and maybe it's the same with your son. Just a thought, could be totally wrong but something worth thinking about, I'm just not sure how you could fix that but hopefully you said he has been better the last few days so fingers crossed you've found something that makes you both happier.
HTH
Jul 20th 2011, 11:32 pm
#40
Living our life wherever
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: came back to oz after moving back to uk but not settled here so uk here i come, last time im moving
Posts: 361
Re: Help! My son is very unsettled.....
When my son left UK he was doing very well in reading and writing USING his left hand,but when we came here the school did not belive in writing with his left hand, so over the years he has struggled with using his right hand, within a 6month period his writing was bad and he became distant with the teachers, we helped him but over the years he has not got to the high standard he had writing in the uk,the school has said sorry but the teacher he had did not want him using his left had.
He know uses his left hand but some times goes to use his right
in sport he kicks using his right foot, we took him to see a specialist and they spoke to him in length and it was discovered he is confused in his brain in what or wich hand/foot to use.
So i do blame the school for changing him from using his left hand to his right
He know uses his left hand but some times goes to use his right
in sport he kicks using his right foot, we took him to see a specialist and they spoke to him in length and it was discovered he is confused in his brain in what or wich hand/foot to use.
So i do blame the school for changing him from using his left hand to his right
Last edited by Trevski; Jul 20th 2011 at 11:34 pm.
Jul 21st 2011, 1:05 am
#41
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Kent to Central coast
Posts: 308
Re: Help! My son is very unsettled.....
Also, does your son get a decent nights sleep. It may sound silly, but I have many friends whose children go to bed pretty late,one in particular back in UK, whose son went to bed shortly before her,and he was only 7 
. Children , like most adults, do not cope well with being over tired,and a tired child will often be irritable and easily upset.
Another thing is,are mornings calm and not rushed. I have found with my kids, that if we are running late, and everyone is in a rush,by the time we get to school, they are bad tempered and stressed. It not always easy, but making sure that you leave plenty of time to get ready in the morning,and having a routine is a really good, calming thing.
im sure you are innundated with ideas and stuff by now,,. Hope things get better soon
Debbie
. Children , like most adults, do not cope well with being over tired,and a tired child will often be irritable and easily upset.Another thing is,are mornings calm and not rushed. I have found with my kids, that if we are running late, and everyone is in a rush,by the time we get to school, they are bad tempered and stressed. It not always easy, but making sure that you leave plenty of time to get ready in the morning,and having a routine is a really good, calming thing.
im sure you are innundated with ideas and stuff by now,
,. Hope things get better soonDebbie
Jul 21st 2011, 1:40 am
#42
Social Grenade Thrower
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: South Coast, NSW
Posts: 3,625
Re: Help! My son is very unsettled.....
When my son left UK he was doing very well in reading and writing USING his left hand,but when we came here the school did not belive in writing with his left hand, so over the years he has struggled with using his right hand, within a 6month period his writing was bad and he became distant with the teachers, we helped him but over the years he has not got to the high standard he had writing in the uk,the school has said sorry but the teacher he had did not want him using his left had.
He know uses his left hand but some times goes to use his right
in sport he kicks using his right foot, we took him to see a specialist and they spoke to him in length and it was discovered he is confused in his brain in what or wich hand/foot to use.
So i do blame the school for changing him from using his left hand to his right
He know uses his left hand but some times goes to use his right
in sport he kicks using his right foot, we took him to see a specialist and they spoke to him in length and it was discovered he is confused in his brain in what or wich hand/foot to use.
So i do blame the school for changing him from using his left hand to his right
Jul 21st 2011, 1:53 am
#43
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2004
Location: Hills District
Posts: 1,399
Re: Help! My son is very unsettled.....
The same thing happened to me when I started school. Mother found out when I was sleep walking and crying that I couldn't use that (right) hand. She went to school and blasted the principal. I was left alone to use my left hand then. So my advice to anyone in that situation is go to the school and tell the principal to let your child use the hand he/she prefers. No teacher has the right to do otherwise.
It is not the norm for this to happen. Of my 4 sons, 2 are left handed, 1 took a year to decide which hand to use, has mixed laterality, 1 is right. All educated in Australia.
It is not the norm for this to happen. Of my 4 sons, 2 are left handed, 1 took a year to decide which hand to use, has mixed laterality, 1 is right. All educated in Australia.
Last edited by Gibbo; Jul 21st 2011 at 1:57 am.
Jul 21st 2011, 2:09 am
#44
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 10,375
Re: Help! My son is very unsettled.....
Poor kid Sorry meanies but moving OS is stressful to small kids.
If it was my 6yo, after talks with the school, maybe a class change, a desk change, the other quiet kid in the class, that sorta thing. I'd be looking at another school.
First primary my kids went to in QLD was big rough and rowdy, 900 kids allowed to run wild, no one walked anywhere it was run/scream/swear.
Do some tuck shop/class volunteering and see whats bugging him, the move or the school.
Sorry meanies but moving OS is stressful to small kids.If it was my 6yo, after talks with the school, maybe a class change, a desk change, the other quiet kid in the class, that sorta thing. I'd be looking at another school.
First primary my kids went to in QLD was big rough and rowdy, 900 kids allowed to run wild, no one walked anywhere it was run/scream/swear.
Do some tuck shop/class volunteering and see whats bugging him, the move or the school.
Jul 21st 2011, 2:35 am
#45
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: Help! My son is very unsettled.....