Don't belong

Old Feb 5th 2017, 4:23 pm
  #46  
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Default Re: Don't belong

Originally Posted by aries
Now back in Devon after half a century in Oz, and very much older with health issues, fitting in isn't as easy as in my Aussie life.
You were brave to go back to where you came from, Aries! Was it a hard choice? I sometimes think of retiring to England, where we have English friends acquired over the years in various overseas countries, but life's too comfortable where we are; and we've been here too long (39 years). Oz has never really been on our list of places to retire, because we wouldn't speak the same language any more, or share the same interests, after half a century away. I guess you haven't had that problem in Devon. Right?
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Old Feb 5th 2017, 4:57 pm
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Default Re: Don't belong

Originally Posted by Gordon Barlow
but life's too comfortable where we are; and we've been here too long (39 years).
That's quite a long time in one place. Do you enjoy that place in particular or the region as a whole?

Technically some of those French islands (not to to mention French Guyana) are EU territory so a move there should technically be easy from the paperwork standpoint (as long as our passports have EU status that is...).
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Old Feb 5th 2017, 7:28 pm
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Default Re: Don't belong

Originally Posted by astera
That's quite a long time in one place. Do you enjoy that place in particular or the region as a whole?
Good question, Astera. We came here from England (Bath) for a three-year assignment, with our two-year-old son in attendance, and it was such a super place for kids that we stayed. And stayed, and stayed. An out-of-doors life for the boy, plenty of sports, nice little friends nearby (locals and expats), nice pre-school and primary school; good jobs and tax-free wages for wife and self, so affordable holidays in England and Oz. We had no reason to leave.

In the context of this thread, that last point should ring bells with readers. If you move from where you are, there has to be a good reason - and in our case there never was a good enough reason. Immigrants dissatisfied with their immigrant lives should never go back home except for the most excellent reason.

I stopped working for five years and became a stay-at-home Dad, then took another job for a couple of years, then quit again - and still we stayed. My job got me into terrible trouble with the local politicians, who tried to deport me for a while. Life became uncomfortable for us - but even that wasn't a good enough reason to leave. (Plus, I vowed not to let the bullies win!)

And to answer the other part of your question - yes, we do enjoy the general Caribbean lifestyle: it's pretty laid-back, and reminds me of the Queensland I grew up in. Life is good. We're both mostly-retired now, and our son has his own life. We may one day have to move to Latin America somewhere for financial reasons - we like that lifestyle too - but reckon we can hang on here a while longer.

It's a far, far, cry from the little sheep farm on the Darling Downs, that's for sure!
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Old Feb 7th 2017, 5:53 pm
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Default Re: Don't belong

Your story resembles mine quite a bit, especially with making the move with a 2-year-old in tow, except that I moved in the other direction... to Singapore. I love the place to bits and feel right at home there - everything from the climate to the lifestyle and ambiance of the place is just perfect for me. Everytime I was on a plane taking off I would feel that I was leaving home.

After something like 6 years there I did finally leave and have no regrets as I wanted to do a stint in Australia after being non-resident there for around 30 years, and once again looking at all the places in Australia that I have seen I felt right where I wanted to be in the Gold Coast - in fact chances are that I would have given up on the short-term move to Australia if I hadn't discovered the GC.

But overall the only place where I feel truly at home, and this is coming from a white expat, is Singapore.

Would you feel at home in Latin America? To be honest, apart from Antarctica it's the only continent I haven't travelled to. Are there any hidden gems there in terms of places to live?
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Old Feb 7th 2017, 7:36 pm
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Default Re: Don't belong

Originally Posted by astera
Your story resembles mine quite a bit, especially with making the move with a 2-year-old in tow, except that I moved in the other direction... to Singapore. I love the place to bits and feel right at home there - everything from the climate to the lifestyle and ambiance of the place is just perfect for me. Everytime I was on a plane taking off I would feel that I was leaving home.

After something like 6 years there I did finally leave and have no regrets as I wanted to do a stint in Australia after being non-resident there for around 30 years, and once again looking at all the places in Australia that I have seen I felt right where I wanted to be in the Gold Coast - in fact chances are that I would have given up on the short-term move to Australia if I hadn't discovered the GC.

But overall the only place where I feel truly at home, and this is coming from a white expat, is Singapore.

Would you feel at home in Latin America? To be honest, apart from Antarctica it's the only continent I haven't travelled to. Are there any hidden gems there in terms of places to live?
An interesting post, Astera. You know, when it comes to feeling comfortable in a place, so much depends on sheer luck. Way back when our baby was born we intended to live "on the road" in Europe in a Kombi van. Some couples can do that successfully, but we couldn't. So I registered with an accounting agency in London and said I wanted to work in any one of five countries: Bermuda, Hong Kong, Cayman, Jersey and Kenya. I was turned down for two jobs in Jersey, and then Cayman was the next on offer. It became for us what Singapore became for you.

Latin America is close by, and our son in his twenties joined the hippie trail in Guatemala. So my wife and I know something about the culture of the region. We speak only the most basic Spanish, but we can get by. The people are wonderfully courteous, and all that they require of a gringo is to make a genuine attempt to speak Spanish (which is only the second language of many of the natives, by the way).

As for Australia. I/we think it's an excellent place (I Queensland, my wife Victoria), but have no prejudice either for or against. It was just never on our path. I once wrote about the major turning-point of my life, which was choosing to emigrate to Canada in 1964 instead of to the USA. The waiting-time at the US embassy in London was too long, so I went round the corner to Canada's. That led me to Nassau and the world of "offshore" tax havens - and the rest is history. I recommend the exercise of identifying the turning point of one's life. What was yours, do you think?

Your Gold Coast is not the Gold Coast of my younger days; there's been too much water under the bridge. But very often the core values of a place manage to stay the same despite great economic and demographic changes, and maybe GC has succeeded at doing that. I wish you well there.
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Old Feb 13th 2017, 8:55 am
  #51  
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Default Re: Don't belong

I suppose the secret of life is to recognise that happiness / contentment comes from within.When you begin to look for happiness in a place or a possession then you will find this happiness very fleeting. As I get older I am trying to show gratitude for what I have rather what I would like to have. I moved to the Gold Coast over 5 years ago and yes there are many things I miss about home. British humour/character is something I pine for. However the quality of life here surpasses everything back home. I have joined a hiking group, the beaches are a 20 minutes drive and the weather is tremendous.
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Old Feb 13th 2017, 1:02 pm
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Default Re: Don't belong

Originally Posted by The Cumbrian
I suppose the secret of life is to recognise that happiness / contentment comes from within.When you begin to look for happiness in a place or a possession then you will find this happiness very fleeting. As I get older I am trying to show gratitude for what I have rather what I would like to have. I moved to the Gold Coast over 5 years ago and yes there are many things I miss about home. British humour/character is something I pine for. However the quality of life here surpasses everything back home. I have joined a hiking group, the beaches are a 20 minutes drive and the weather is tremendous.
This.

Truer words have rarely been spoken.

Though, truth be told, i have to keep reminding myself that, especially when a season that started with so much promise has unfolded in such spectacular fashion, with defeats to Swansea and Bournemouth, not to mention crashing ignominiously out of both domestic Cup competitions. Sigh.

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Old Feb 13th 2017, 2:38 pm
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Default Re: Don't belong

Originally Posted by brits1
Don't you mean "soccer"? I thought football mean't Aussie Rules? we use
Nope, football will always be football to the majority of Brits Its like 'think of Christmas, and your mind instinctively says December" Its what you grow up with, ingrained in you!

Originally Posted by Gordon Barlow
For immigrants in Australia, it's important to appreciate Australian humour. It can be quite harsh, sometimes; other times it's soft and sentimental. The link above is to one of the latter variety - told by a former Australian Prime Minister well known for his urbanity. (Well, everything's relative...)
But humour is a very personal thing. I've lost count of the number of Aussie sitcoms and standup comedians that I have tried to laugh at - the humour just doesn't work.

Originally Posted by The Cumbrian
I suppose the secret of life is to recognise that happiness / contentment comes from within.When you begin to look for happiness in a place or a possession then you will find this happiness very fleeting. As I get older I am trying to show gratitude for what I have rather what I would like to have. I moved to the Gold Coast over 5 years ago and yes there are many things I miss about home. British humour/character is something I pine for. However the quality of life here surpasses everything back home. I have joined a hiking group, the beaches are a 20 minutes drive and the weather is tremendous.
Fleeting indeed in a place and/or possession. The older I get the more I find happiness in the people I love. And almost all of them are on the other side of the world.
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Old Feb 13th 2017, 6:50 pm
  #54  
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Default Re: Don't belong

Originally Posted by Gordon Barlow
You were brave to go back to where you came from, Aries! Was it a hard choice? I sometimes think of retiring to England, where we have English friends acquired over the years in various overseas countries, but life's too comfortable where we are; and we've been here too long (39 years). Oz has never really been on our list of places to retire, because we wouldn't speak the same language any more, or share the same interests, after half a century away. I guess you haven't had that problem in Devon. Right?
It was not a difficult choice to come back to Devon where I was born, but I've since realised that it was a move based on what must have been a crazy brain seizure! If you have a comfortable life where you are I suggest you stay with it, and just take holidays back here. Some people enjoy their return, unfortunately I'm not one of them. I dislike the wet climate, and the hills with their uneven, pot-hole ridden roads have become too difficult for me.

I suppose I became too used to Australia developing new areas, and was always pleased to feel part of the progress, but in Torbay it is a massive struggle for anyone to achieve anything. Our shopping centre is rundown and unloved, and there's no undercover shopping at all. I'm truly surprised that in such a wet, windblown town, we are constantly left to struggle with brollies that turn inside out. A multiple bus stop in the main street has no shelter or seating, and although I have a free bus pass, it is more convenient to spend on taxis direct to my door. Curiously because of the irksome one-way traffic system, taxis from a stand nearest to where I live are more expensive than those further up the town! Taxis have to go up a hill in the opposite direction, then down again along the seafront and around the harbour. It's a scenic route, but the extra cost adds up.
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Old Feb 13th 2017, 7:54 pm
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Default Re: Don't belong

Originally Posted by aries
... in Torbay it is a massive struggle for anyone to achieve anything. Our shopping centre is rundown and unloved, and there's no undercover shopping at all. I'm truly surprised that in such a wet, windblown town, we are constantly left to struggle with brollies that turn inside out. A multiple bus stop in the main street has no shelter or seating, and although I have a free bus pass, it is more convenient to spend on taxis direct to my door.
I can't comment on Torbay. I've only been there once, long ago on family-history business: the gravestones of two great-great-grandparents of mine are part of the paving outside the church. But I'm guessing that you bought a house there, to be still living there. Would you ever move? If we were to live in England again we'd probably choose the vicinity of Bath. We once lived for a year just outside the city; and I've returned there many times since on short visits. It's a wonderful city to visit - and well worth a try, if you ever feel the need to move from Torbay. Some of the villages have been retirement-refuges for Centuries.
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Old Feb 14th 2017, 8:02 am
  #56  
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Default Re: Don't belong

Originally Posted by aries
It was not a difficult choice to come back to Devon where I was born, but I've since realised that it was a move based on what must have been a crazy brain seizure! If you have a comfortable life where you are I suggest you stay with it, and just take holidays back here. Some people enjoy their return, unfortunately I'm not one of them. I dislike the wet climate, and the hills with their uneven, pot-hole ridden roads have become too difficult for me.

I suppose I became too used to Australia developing new areas, and was always pleased to feel part of the progress, but in Torbay it is a massive struggle for anyone to achieve anything. Our shopping centre is rundown and unloved, and there's no undercover shopping at all. I'm truly surprised that in such a wet, windblown town, we are constantly left to struggle with brollies that turn inside out. A multiple bus stop in the main street has no shelter or seating, and although I have a free bus pass, it is more convenient to spend on taxis direct to my door. Curiously because of the irksome one-way traffic system, taxis from a stand nearest to where I live are more expensive than those further up the town! Taxis have to go up a hill in the opposite direction, then down again along the seafront and around the harbour. It's a scenic route, but the extra cost adds up.

If your missing Australia can you not return? we had a trip to Devon when we returned to the Uk (it was a fav childhood holiday location of mine) the coast is still wonderful and green etc but I did feel Torquay was rundown in the centre which did surprise me, we decided it was not the area for us but we would not rule out other parts of Devon though, Dorset and Norfolk at the moment are favourites of ours, we are planning a visit to our Son who is currently in Bristol and will have a look around Gloucester. I know what you mean about some of the roads but as our youngest said "driving in Perth,WA was on mainly smooth roads but that's because it was all mostly new but it was also mostly bland and without character"
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Old Feb 14th 2017, 11:05 am
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Default Re: Don't belong

Originally Posted by brits1
If your missing Australia can you not return? we had a trip to Devon when we returned to the Uk (it was a fav childhood holiday location of mine) the coast is still wonderful and green etc but I did feel Torquay was rundown in the centre which did surprise me, we decided it was not the area for us but we would not rule out other parts of Devon though, Dorset and Norfolk at the moment are favourites of ours, we are planning a visit to our Son who is currently in Bristol and will have a look around Gloucester. I know what you mean about some of the roads but as our youngest said "driving in Perth,WA was on mainly smooth roads but that's because it was all mostly new but it was also mostly bland and without character"

At best, I've been damn unlucky with my trips back.... Last trip was my first ever visit to Torquay, where I spent 3 days, it was meant to be a highlight for me..... I can always remember it being supposedly and reputedly being one of nicest places in the UK back through the 70's..... Must have changed a lot. Dartmoor was good.

Hey Aires, if you want to come back to Aus, I've been researching retirement, plenty of places where you can rent houses very cheaply.... 150 bucks per week etc.





Bonsall was nice though, so there are definitely good places back there.... I'm never going back on my own again... thats my latest mantra.

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Old Feb 14th 2017, 5:53 pm
  #58  
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Default Re: Don't belong

Originally Posted by ozzieeagle
At best, I've been damn unlucky with my trips back.... Last trip was my first ever visit to Torquay, where I spent 3 days, it was meant to be a highlight for me..... I can always remember it being supposedly and reputedly being one of nicest places in the UK back through the 70's..... Must have changed a lot. Dartmoor was good.

Hey Aires, if you want to come back to Aus, I've been researching retirement, plenty of places where you can rent houses very cheaply.... 150 bucks per week etc.

Bonsall was nice though, so there are definitely good places back there.... I'm never going back on my own again... thats my latest mantra.
If I go back I would buy a flat or retirement unit in Adelaide, I still have friends and family in SA as well as in Melbourne. Selling my flat here is the big problem.
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Old Feb 14th 2017, 7:51 pm
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Default Re: Don't belong

Originally Posted by aries
If I go back I would buy a flat or retirement unit in Adelaide, I still have friends and family in SA as well as in Melbourne. Selling my flat here is the big problem.
Rent out yours and rent here maybe ? Have a 3rd party deal with your flat in the UK which takes the emotion out of it... Whilst checking out to see if there are bargains to be had in Adelaide..... Just a different viewpoint for you hopefully.

Good luck whatever happens.
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Old Feb 14th 2017, 8:49 pm
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Default Re: Don't belong

After a while we begin to understand why inn the Classical World exile, or banishment, was the cruellest punishment available to the State.
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