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Brisbane - The Reality!!

Brisbane - The Reality!!

Old Jun 19th 2008, 12:01 pm
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Default Brisbane - The Reality!!

Well thats the missus away tomorrow to spend the next 3 weeks at home in NZ before meeting me on July 18th in Brisbane.

The reality has hit us and man, its hit us hard.

The missus has been in bits all week, ive never seen one person cry so much as she has done this week.

My da and stepmum, wee sister they are all over the place.

Its at times like this that you wonder if you are doing the right thing.

Man its so hard leaving all your friends and family behind as many of you well know.

We shall be lucky as our friends are there for the first couple of months but then we wont know a sausage, not a bean! That worries me a bit.

What I need folks is for this place to regale with thier tales of how much they love living in Brisbane and Oz to lift my spirits. Hopefully show the wife later as she is borderline depressed.

Deep down I know, given time, we will have met equally as good friends and will be enjoying a much much better lifestyle than Glasgow though.

Cheers

Jamie
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Old Jun 19th 2008, 12:04 pm
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Default Re: Brisbane - The Reality!!

That bit is the hardest. Before that you've got stacks to do and it doesn't seem real. Once you're on the flight the excitement of the adventure takes over. The bit inbetween? it's shit basically.

Here's wishing you well for the rest of your lives. Don't forget to enjoy the small stuff, it can get ignored in the panic of sorting the big stuff out.
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Old Jun 19th 2008, 12:08 pm
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Default Re: Brisbane - The Reality!!

Originally Posted by moneypen20
That bit is the hardest. Before that you've got stacks to do and it doesn't seem real. Once you're on the flight the excitement of the adventure takes over. The bit inbetween? it's shit basically.

Here's wishing you well for the rest of your lives. Don't forget to enjoy the small stuff, it can get ignored in the panic of sorting the big stuff out.
Thats when im hoping the buzz will kick in as well. I love the excitement of long haul flights although will be travelling solo.

Homesickness is something you just have to live with I reckon, although it will get better id imagine.

Cheers for that

Jamie
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Old Jun 19th 2008, 12:41 pm
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Default Re: Brisbane - The Reality!!

Sorry can't reassure you. I am the sort of person that now thinks if you've got good family and friends at home you should be near them and stay at home. If you live so far away from them it is like a form of bereavement in a way, very hard. Living by the sea in a 4 by 3 with pool, boat etc does not replace them. For me I learnt this the hard way after 5 years in Aus. Now they are the most important thing in my life rather than 'lifestyle'.I am sure in time you will make some friends but it will not happen straight away so you will have to give yourself time. My advice would be to get out there and try and get involved with things as much as you can. As another post somewhere else said - try and join in with the Aussie way of life - go surfing, play Aussie rules, beach volleyball, diving etc. Take every social oppurtunity you can. Maybe see if there are any expat get togethers in Brisbane. Have you found work yet? That sure helps and sometimes in Aus they have Friday night drinks or Sunday sessions, maybe head along to some of those. My husband got involved in sailing when we were there which helped him make some buddies. As hard as it may seem it's best to just get out there and do it but not to expect a ready made social life. It's really hard at the beginning but I would give it some time to see if you like it. As much as I am loving being back in the UK I would advise people to give Aus a good go as in those early days things can seem clouded and it doesn't paint a true picture. I hope your wife will be ok. Maybe take some trips up to the Barrier Reef or Byron Bay to see the more beautiful side of Australia. Hope things settle down for you. Good luck.
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Old Jun 20th 2008, 10:16 am
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Default Re: Brisbane - The Reality!!

Originally Posted by JRB
Sorry can't reassure you. I am the sort of person that now thinks if you've got good family and friends at home you should be near them and stay at home. If you live so far away from them it is like a form of bereavement in a way, very hard. Living by the sea in a 4 by 3 with pool, boat etc does not replace them. For me I learnt this the hard way after 5 years in Aus. Now they are the most important thing in my life rather than 'lifestyle'.I am sure in time you will make some friends but it will not happen straight away so you will have to give yourself time. My advice would be to get out there and try and get involved with things as much as you can. As another post somewhere else said - try and join in with the Aussie way of life - go surfing, play Aussie rules, beach volleyball, diving etc. Take every social oppurtunity you can. Maybe see if there are any expat get togethers in Brisbane. Have you found work yet? That sure helps and sometimes in Aus they have Friday night drinks or Sunday sessions, maybe head along to some of those. My husband got involved in sailing when we were there which helped him make some buddies. As hard as it may seem it's best to just get out there and do it but not to expect a ready made social life. It's really hard at the beginning but I would give it some time to see if you like it. As much as I am loving being back in the UK I would advise people to give Aus a good go as in those early days things can seem clouded and it doesn't paint a true picture. I hope your wife will be ok. Maybe take some trips up to the Barrier Reef or Byron Bay to see the more beautiful side of Australia. Hope things settle down for you. Good luck.
I know what you mean. We are going to try for kids though and I would certainly prefer they grew up as far away from Glasgow as possible.

My cousin is in Texas and has been unable to come home for 5 years due to the green card application. She said she would come home in a heratbeat but the kids love it there.

Would love to hear some post about how wonderful Brissy is though!!
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Old Jun 20th 2008, 11:06 am
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Default Re: Brisbane - The Reality!!

I would say everything said so far is a pretty good indication of the ups and downs of being an expat. You can't get away from missing friends and family and this is something you have to face head on early on, or else it's only going to get harder. That's the reality of being an expat.

The other thing to remember is you have taken X amount of years to build up a circle of friends in UK so don't expect to meet like minded souls or friends immediately. I know I'm stating the obvious, but sometimes the reality of it is hard to contend with especially when you first get here as you can feel pretty lost as daft as it seems. You don't know where the Dr's are or the best shops or where you can get this and that. All things we take for granted when we've lived somewhere for a while.

Also take every opportunity to meet people. You won't meet anyone if you're a hermit and no matter how shy or nervous, force yourself to do it. There will probably be lots you don't gel with and very few that you do, but once you find those special people they will probably become your surrogate family. To get on and not harp over the past, you need to leave your friends and family. You'll not forget them but you need to leave them otherwise you will keep harping back to "the good old days" and your mind will play tricks. You're here now so you need to move on mentally as well as physically.

On a brighter note: Australia is a fantastic place to live. Whilst a lot of people go back to UK as it doesn't suit them, a lot more stay here. You have to embrace the Aussie culture and appreciate the fantastic differences. From the informal way people go barefoot, wear jim jams to go to the bottle shop or that most don't care about the superficiality of dressing up for functions, whilst at first it's hard to get used to, eventually it's a blessing to not worry about "sweating the small stuff". Australians in the vast majority are lovely welcoming and warm people. The majority don't give a crap who or what you are so long as you are right with them. They are forthright, a bit bolshy compared to us more reserved Brits and they say it as they see it. If you don't let go of your Britishness you might flounder so give back as much as you get. Funnily enough they respect you for it.

For your kids, the outside lifestyle especially in Brisbane is second to none. All year round fantastic weather and the kids have more to do than there is time to do it. Family time is valued and most people finish Friday and respect and value their family time. Parks and BBQ areas have families with kids, aunts, uncles, friends all enjoying their time together.

Although crime exists, it seems less aggressive here and for us we felt our kids were safer. Also, over time they became less defensive, less aggressive as the Aussie way seems in the main much less confrontational and more laid back.

In summary, Aus is no different to any country. It has its good and not so good bits. No where is perfect. But for some it is as good as it gets. I've lived in a few countries and Aus cuts the mustard for us. It's not perfect, but it's as near as damn it. But we've worked at it and embraced the good bits which far outweigh the bad. If you can do this, and with a bit of luck, some tenacity and acceptance of the difference, hopefully you'll be good

It's great here. And the weather for winter is bloody ace!

Good luck
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Old Jun 20th 2008, 12:27 pm
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Default Re: Brisbane - The Reality!!

Originally Posted by sonlymewalter
I would say everything said so far is a pretty good indication of the ups and downs of being an expat. You can't get away from missing friends and family and this is something you have to face head on early on, or else it's only going to get harder. That's the reality of being an expat.

The other thing to remember is you have taken X amount of years to build up a circle of friends in UK so don't expect to meet like minded souls or friends immediately. I know I'm stating the obvious, but sometimes the reality of it is hard to contend with especially when you first get here as you can feel pretty lost as daft as it seems. You don't know where the Dr's are or the best shops or where you can get this and that. All things we take for granted when we've lived somewhere for a while.

Also take every opportunity to meet people. You won't meet anyone if you're a hermit and no matter how shy or nervous, force yourself to do it. There will probably be lots you don't gel with and very few that you do, but once you find those special people they will probably become your surrogate family. To get on and not harp over the past, you need to leave your friends and family. You'll not forget them but you need to leave them otherwise you will keep harping back to "the good old days" and your mind will play tricks. You're here now so you need to move on mentally as well as physically.

On a brighter note: Australia is a fantastic place to live. Whilst a lot of people go back to UK as it doesn't suit them, a lot more stay here. You have to embrace the Aussie culture and appreciate the fantastic differences. From the informal way people go barefoot, wear jim jams to go to the bottle shop or that most don't care about the superficiality of dressing up for functions, whilst at first it's hard to get used to, eventually it's a blessing to not worry about "sweating the small stuff". Australians in the vast majority are lovely welcoming and warm people. The majority don't give a crap who or what you are so long as you are right with them. They are forthright, a bit bolshy compared to us more reserved Brits and they say it as they see it. If you don't let go of your Britishness you might flounder so give back as much as you get. Funnily enough they respect you for it.

For your kids, the outside lifestyle especially in Brisbane is second to none. All year round fantastic weather and the kids have more to do than there is time to do it. Family time is valued and most people finish Friday and respect and value their family time. Parks and BBQ areas have families with kids, aunts, uncles, friends all enjoying their time together.

Although crime exists, it seems less aggressive here and for us we felt our kids were safer. Also, over time they became less defensive, less aggressive as the Aussie way seems in the main much less confrontational and more laid back.

In summary, Aus is no different to any country. It has its good and not so good bits. No where is perfect. But for some it is as good as it gets. I've lived in a few countries and Aus cuts the mustard for us. It's not perfect, but it's as near as damn it. But we've worked at it and embraced the good bits which far outweigh the bad. If you can do this, and with a bit of luck, some tenacity and acceptance of the difference, hopefully you'll be good

It's great here. And the weather for winter is bloody ace!

Good luck

BRilliant Post mate appreciate that!

Ive been fortunate enough to have lived in Oz for a year and know where you are coming from. After a tough start I grew to love the Aussies, no lies iin them which I like.

Too be honest im more worried about my strife, as she has been living in Glasgow for 10 years now (she's from NZ) and has made a mountain of friends and treats my own family like thay are hers.

Just left her at the airport and it was very emotional for all of us. I cant wait, wish I had been to Brissy before as I know what to expect in most of the other cities.

Like you said it will take time before you establish your close friends but I reckon its worth the wait.

Thinking about changing my flights and heading out a week early to try and get a house organised for the missus as a surprise as she doesnt do Hostels too well.

Anyway got to get back to my work but cheers for the positive post. My Dad and stepmum are coming out next year for a month and I reckon that will be the best month of my life to spend time in Oz with them, a once in a lufetime thing, so will have that too look forward to when we get homesick.

Too be honest being in the airport there with her as got the old butterflies going and im feeling really positive again.

Cant wait to get my fishing rods organised and do a bit of fishing in the river or on one of the islands in the bay. Beats catching Mackeral in the clyde any old day.

Take Care and thanks to everyone who took the time to respond, appreciate all your comments.

Jamie

Jamie
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Old Jun 20th 2008, 12:37 pm
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Default Re: Brisbane - The Reality!!

Nice one onlyme.

Originally Posted by sonlymewalter
Also take every opportunity to meet people. You won't meet anyone if you're a hermit and no matter how shy or nervous, force yourself to do it.
You do have to make an effort the first days.months/year. The worst case scenario is that you won't continue to see people. You may find that it takes 2 years or so to start to find a network, and other networks will come and go as you, and the kids go through jobs, school and clubs. Our kids are not even in pre-kinder yet so there are networks we have yet to tap.

Originally Posted by sonlymewalter

Although crime exists, it seems less aggressive here and for us we felt our kids were safer. Also, over time they became less defensive, less aggressive as the Aussie way seems in the main much less confrontational and more laid back.
I agree with this. Noone ever denies crime, but I do feel Australians are actually alot less aggressive or confrontational on many levels than many people give them credit for. I find a lot of geed up young Australians a lot less intimidating (if that is the right word) than their British counterparts. Puts tin hat on and waits for hate mail.

A night out in a UK town does remind you how aggressive (even if it is only on the outside) Brit kids can be. Sometimes the pace of life really is slower here - even if you still find yourselves stuck in a rushhour traffic jam.
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Old Jun 20th 2008, 2:45 pm
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Default Re: Brisbane - The Reality!!

Hi Jamie

My UK hubby and I (originally kiwi with a few years in oz and the last 6 years in UK) have just got to Brisbane this month.

I did the trip back via NZ to visit the family while Neil stayed in UK for 5 weeks.

I LOVE IT!! Brisbane is great. Obviously like anyway it has it's faults, but on the whole it's a really nice place and people are friendly.

The first 4 weeks will be hard - prepare mentally for the stress of finding houses, cars, jobs, furniture etc (if you haven't arranged anything) and also the stress of driving around a place you don't know trying to do all different things and not knowing what decision will be the best etc...but it will get easier.

I can't barely remember all the running about we have done. We got to Brissie on the 2nd June and already are pretty much set up with banks, furniture, a rental house, a car, a job for me (hubby is still working for uk from home) etc etc.

A Sat nav is a good investment FYI. The traffic/roads can be confusing for the first while. You can pick them up cheap -we got a Tom Tom larger model for $350. Harvey Norman knocked $50 just by asking too.

I am hoping that soon there will be a local meet up - currently they seem a bit far from where we are (Morningside). Otherwise, let me know when you guys are here and we can always try to arrange something ourselves!

BTW - there is a big north vs. south thing here, mainly due to the lack of bridges to get across the river, so that needs to be considered for living/working etc. And the trains are a bit crap (in terms of service frequency and signage).

But yeah - I am so glad to be here - finally feels like home
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Old Jun 20th 2008, 9:33 pm
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Default Re: Brisbane - The Reality!!

Gday all,

Just to let you know if any of the guys moving to Brissie are golfers or would like to golf we are having a golf day late July/August it would be a chance for you guys to meet fellow expats have a laugh and a few beers.

Let me know if your intrested.

Also check out the meet up page there are a few meets in the Brissie area.

Cheers

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Old Jun 24th 2008, 7:44 am
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Default Re: Brisbane - The Reality!!

Cheers everyone, cheered me up a bit some of the posts. Good to know folk are in the same position and enjoying it like Wheeler_Jones.

Haggisman, I cant play Golf but Im mad for my fishing, will definately be up for arranging fishing charters with some ex-pats nearer the time. Might come along to the golf for a laugh though, depends how high the standard is!

Definately going to change my flights as this hanging about is killing me, big time.

Take care

Jamie
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Old Jun 24th 2008, 8:00 am
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Default Re: Brisbane - The Reality!!

Originally Posted by moneypen20
That bit is the hardest. Before that you've got stacks to do and it doesn't seem real. Once you're on the flight the excitement of the adventure takes over. The bit inbetween? it's shit basically.

Here's wishing you well for the rest of your lives. Don't forget to enjoy the small stuff, it can get ignored in the panic of sorting the big stuff out.
As Moneypen says, the bit inbetween is thoroughly crap. Like groundhog day, end up saying 'final farewells' to the same people about three times over the course of about a week. Emotionally draining, and couldn't wait to get on the plane.

We've been here over a year now, and I can honestly say that I've never regretted the move, not for a minute. Get stuck in straight from the off, never turn down an invite nor an opportunity to meet new people, and keep busy. I think the dreaded homesickness tends to sneek up on you when you're not occupied. After the initial rush of activity has died down, probably around the 3 month mark, if you're not 'busy' with jobs or whatever that's when it can catch you out.

All the best, and good luck in making the life you want.

Andy
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Old Jun 24th 2008, 8:11 am
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Default Re: Brisbane - The Reality!!

Originally Posted by brissybound
Cheers everyone, cheered me up a bit some of the posts. Good to know folk are in the same position and enjoying it like Wheeler_Jones.

Haggisman, I cant play Golf but Im mad for my fishing, will definately be up for arranging fishing charters with some ex-pats nearer the time. Might come along to the golf for a laugh though, depends how high the standard is!

Definately going to change my flights as this hanging about is killing me, big time.

Take care

Jamie
Don't worry about the standard mate ! Haggis is our Captain & number 1 player & he plays orf 28 Would be good to have you on board our team dude
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Old Jun 24th 2008, 8:16 am
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Default Re: Brisbane - The Reality!!

[QUOTE=Wheeler-Jones;6486365]Hi Jamie



I am hoping that soon there will be a local meet up - currently they seem a bit far from where we are (Morningside). Otherwise, let me know when you guys are here and we can always try to arrange something ourselves!


Keep an eye out for The brisbane currymunching club thread we have some pretty good ,well attended (26, 2weeks ago ) meets involving A GRAND INDIAN CURRY and copious amounts of grog in Birkdale which aint that far from yous along the choo choo track !
regards Bobby
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Old Jun 24th 2008, 9:39 am
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Default Re: Brisbane - The Reality!!

Hiya

We have been in brisbane for nearly 8 months. We have 2 boys aged 7 and 4 and we love living here. The climate is great and the people are lovely. It is difficult meeting new people but you will get there. When we got here i thought we would never meet anyone or do anything with friends again, how wrong was i. We have made some great friends and now its as if we have always been here. It does get easier been from home, and i was like your wife, i thought it was impossible to cry so much, i think i cried constantly for a month and even now im not sure how i got here. Tell her its all normal and once she is here she will be ok. We live on the west side in chaple hill near indooropilly, if she fancys meeting up when u are here just pm me.
Shelley x
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