Ozzy dog

I too can relate to this, when we first moved into our new house I had this feeling that the 'real' owners would come back and tell us to go! Very odd. When reflecting on this I have found myself almost 'grieving' for my old house in the UK. Thinking about how nice it was, all the rooms were as we wanted, things matched and it felt cozy. Yesterday I bought new coasters for the formal, I was really chuffed and quite taken aback at how such a small thing can start to turn a house into a home.

Very complex feelings wrapped up in relocating to another country don't you think?

T x

ozzieeagle

Threads like these, are an absolute necessity in my opinion. A great wake up call for some people in the UK that believe Australia will change all migrants lives for the better.

Should make it a sticky.

I dont agree with most of what the OP said BTW, but I can empathize with their feelings.

Mrs Jackaroo

Very complex yes. I think that maybe buying our own home here will help........but who knows??

I miss spending time in B&Q (bunnings would do) thinking of ways to improve our home.

Complex........yes

Mrs Jackaroo

Strange isnt it. I was hoping the feeling would have passed after 2 years......but it still lingers on.

mrsmooch

We've been here 5 years or so (melbourne). When we arrived, we were thrilled with how friendly people were, and shocked at how insular and easy life was. The good and the bad. I pretty much settled straight away, and found it easy to get a good job (hated being treated like an idiot by the men, but loved the opportunities). My husband whinged for about 2 years - hate it, they don't know anything, the telly is crap, etc etc etc. Last year when we were planning a short holiday back in London I suggested we could think about moving back, and his reaction was NO WAY. Seems when he stopped looking for comparisons he realised that the good things about being here were DIFFERENT good things than about being in the UK, and equally valuable - more so even.

I think it's easy to get angry at what is different because we aren't really making an effort to understand that we don't understand the subtleties - just cos we speak the same language doesn't mean we communicate in the same way. When we went back, it was a wake up call - we had adjusted to clean air, good food, people being kind to us etc etc. In London we realised the air was filthy, the people were thoroughly stressed out and downright mean a lot of the time, commuting was cold and miserable and schools rubbish.

Don't be fooled - the schooling is different here, but not worse. Different priorities in learning also make people here more open, less concerned with history (that can be good and bad) and tradition. This stuff also varies a lot from city to city.

So, yes, there are downsides, different perspectives. I still hate the way women are treated here and the ridiculous arguments about social behaviour. But the culture has changed even in the time we have been here, and I don't miss the whining and the indoor culture in the UK at all. I've grown accustomed to being able to grow my own food all year round, sit on the deck with a drink, have my child climb over the fence to play with the kids next door. I've even gotten used to the spiders.

Peed_Off

Hi, thanks for the input to the thread. All comments welcomed,from either side of the camp.

I just wanted to clarify a couple of things which people have assumed (thats ok, because the OP had limited info).....A few people assumed we hadnt recced the place/........We did a recce over 4 cities and 4 states over a month. I could have did it for 4 months and still would have moved here. Nothing can prepare you for how you will feel when your here, I think.

A few people assume we are English, because we come from the UK?????


Anyway moving on. I really appreciate some of the points people have made. I dont think we could uproot the kids again and move interstate only to move agin if we didnt feel any different. A few people though have mentioned to us that the Gold Coast is a really soulless place to exist. I find it so, other dont.


When I talk about people going to bed at 8.30 I was being literally as honest as possible. I walked out onto my steet last night at about 6.45. Pitch black, not a sound. I went out again at about 9 pm ...same story with hardly a light on in the street. The suburbs are DEAD. No feel to them. They are sterile.

Someone made a point earlier about local in any country not making an effort with migrants in any country and generally I accept that: they have their own lives to get on with. What I dont accept though is plain ignorance and rudeness or lack of manners; call it what you want. This would be typical- being served in a petrol stn or a shop and not getting a hi or goodbye/thanks or even an acknowledgment from the people who are there paid to serve you, whilst you greet and thank them.

I dont know. In one way I acknowledge what people are saying to give it at least two years and it will change for you. Whilst others are saying it never does.

Someone mentioned attitude. I couldnt have tried harder to get involved in things. Kids sports meeting/mingling with other parents. Hasnt been for lack of effort. Never has been a problem anywhere else, but here. I have been well travelled (in fact I have been on every continent bar Antartica!) in my life, so its not like I'm one of those, 'never been out of the UK' types of folk.

The reason for the OP was not....'F*** you lot, we're off"

Its because we really wanted to get this to work and we are thinking out loud, wanting to know if others shared the same things and looking for feedback. Cheers.

DadAgain

Mostly enough has been said in this thread - it *is* tough to discover that actually you dont like where you are. Its far too easy to get caught up so much in the excitment and trouble of moving that we forget why we're moving - and its too easy to place your goal destination up on an unrealistic pedastal.

Anyway - 2 things stand out for me (forgive my paraphrasing):

"..Sun sets too soon..."
"...Go to bed too early..."

Have you considered that those 2 problems are both very easily solved by adjusting where your day is! - Just pretend and move your watch forward a couple of hours... You'll miss TV shows and vital appointments - but the rest of life will be perfectly functional and then you might 'feel' like you're getting up at 8am, sun sets at 8:30pm and everyone quietens down at 11pm...

(Sorry shouldnt make light of yor situation - I really do sympathise!)

WelshSarah

I read somewhere that its the grandchildren of migrants that become settled properly...

Apparently the migrants (us) tend to stick with our fellow migrants from the same country more as we have that in common and this draws us together.

Our kids are stuck between the old family and their ways and their new way of life and new friends and their ways and habits.

Its their kids who know nothing of the old so are true settlers!!

Something of the truth I think...

Just out of curio... where are you from then peed_off?
(yes I AM a nosey welsh gal!!!)

bcworld

Hi PO,

I agree with a lot of what you say, I too find SE Qld 'nice' but bland and lacking in any substance whatsoever, scratch the surface, and well, there isn't anything underneath. I don't tar all of Oz with the same brush though, I'm a massive fan of Melbourne and once I sort out my escape plan from Brissie I'll be off there ASAP. No kids to worry about though and I appreciate that its more difficult for you to just up sticks.

As for rude service, I couldn't really characterise that as an Aussie trait.....shit service often, but rude service is a UK speciality! If I encounter rude service (hello Qantas Sydney check in staff) I just make a point of being irritatingly up beat & cheery - they usually get the point.

Anyway, I hope everything works out for you!

B

Peed_Off

lol Change the clock. Never thought of that.

As far as the TV goes - Believe me I have TRIED. I couldnt endure it. It is complete sheet. I think we watched a movie one night and it took about 4 hours including ads.

I never mentioned the TV did I (?) on my OP, but now you mention it

bcworld

LOL......grrrrrrrrrrrr.....I hate that....by the end of the movie the ads are literally every 4 minutes! :curse: And it wouldn't be quite so bad if it wasn't the same ads every break......I get the point, there's 26% off tiles!!!!!!

Ozzy dog

I never mentioned the TV did I (?) on my OP, but now you mention it[/QUOTE]

Gosh when I first came I actually found it hard to follow a film because of the constant breaks!

Have to say that I don't watch TV half as much as I used to in the UK, which I view as a good thing.

T x

Peed_Off

Hi Mate

I can only compare service 'ie salutions etc' to where I have been in the world and where I lived in the UK. 'Normally' in the UK, you will at least get a hi and goodbye in our experience (even though in some cases it might be automotive). The exception here is your Target type stores where you get the 'have a nice day' amercanisms: some genuine ones, most becuase its store policy.

@boy

There is no TV licence requirement here, unlike the UK or Ireland.
As a result, of course there are more ads on the free to air channels.
What do you expect - you get them for FREE !

Evelin

you are so right: Nothing seems very real and something is missing. I'm here for 11 years but feel like an observer of my surroundings. Not that I want to go back where I came from, but when I go "home" on a holiday, all of a sudden "life feels normal", I'm down to earth and of course, there is common cultural ground which I will never have here. For the rest of my life I will remain a migrant if I like it or not because I spent the larger part of my life outside Australia.

And as somebody wrote, the Australians have their friends from school and families, different outlook onlife and so forth. I guess it also depends on your age when you arrived in Australia.