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To all those moving back home or wanting to.

To all those moving back home or wanting to.

Old Mar 3rd 2003, 11:15 pm
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Question To all those moving back home or wanting to.

Can iIask a question ?

Why did you decide to move in the first place ? Now that you have moved have those reasons disappeared ?

Thanks
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Old Mar 4th 2003, 2:02 am
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Default the grass is greener?

Hi there.
Speaking for myself I'm going to fall back on an old cliche, and say that being abroad for four years now has made me realise that the grass aint always greener.
I came out to Canada because of a combination of things (relationship being the main one), and as I've now married the girl in question I feel no big desire to stay here. More and more it feels as though I'm doing my time here, so I've talked about it (alot) with my wife and we're both ready to move across to UK. As i've written in another thread, every time I go back to the UK I notice what a good quality of life many people I know there have...full vibrant lives, new cars, home reno's, money for holidays abroad (very hard when earning canadian loonie, belive me!). and of course being close to family, which as time goes on you really start to notice. Vancouver's a nice spot, but its not home, and if nothing else being here has given me a far greater appreciation of my 'home and native land'. You realise that many of the problems that there are in UK also exist elsewhere, and that there in fact a lot of great things to being there.
I have to say, from reading these threads and from meeting other expats here in Vancouver, quite a few people move without thinking through all the consequences. Seeing somewhere on holiday for a couple of weeks and deciding you want to move there is no preperation for living there. Invariably there will an initial period of few months/year/two years when everything is fresh and new. And then...the reality of the rat race, which exists everywhere. Some people do of course do find a better life/standard of living but for many people the better life is waiting for them there in the UK, if they can find it (instead of perhaps simply dreaming that all will be fine simply by swapping one country for another).
Anyway, just a few thoughts
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Old Mar 4th 2003, 4:25 am
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Default Re: To all those moving back home or wanting to.

Originally posted by Interested
Can iIask a question ?

Why did you decide to move in the first place ? Now that you have moved have those reasons disappeared ?

Thanks
Me it was - what's out there in the big world - curiosity, travel, just plain nosiness - it was never supposed to be permanent, for ever. I just enjoy travelling

It was actually because we were offered a chance in Singapore where we were for five years, then we relocated into Aus 6 years ago, again accepted because I wanted to "see".

If I was offered to go to America, or Africa etc tomorrow - I'd probably take it.

All this said - it's temporary, for I've never looked to settle- live and die in another country, for Wales is my home and always will be, and that's where I will return to, to settle when finished with "having a look around"

"There's no place like home" - How true!

cheers

Last edited by Ceri; Mar 4th 2003 at 4:31 am.
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Old Mar 4th 2003, 5:09 am
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Default Re: To all those moving back home or wanting to.

Originally posted by Interested
Can iIask a question ?

Why did you decide to move in the first place ? Now that you have moved have those reasons disappeared ?

Thanks
For us it was a number of reasons. A few years in London in a high pressure role that involved lots of overseas travel was taking its toll on me. My then fiancee was reaching the end of her UK visa. We thought, well lets bugger off to France for a couple of years - our favourite country that happened to be between where both she (Czech Republic) and I were from.
Then a few weeks after these initial ideas I got an email forwarded from my UK boss which he had received from our Sydney office asking if there was anyone willing to come for 2 years who had some certain skills. My boss said he reckoned I was exactly what they were after and he would happily sponsor me for a 2 year secondment if I was interested. The best part about the deal was I would still be a UK employee, on my London salary, with a guaranteed job back in London at the end of the 2 years. So suddenly not only was it a chance to live somewhere else for a while, it was also a chance to earn mega money by local standards and save up for that ever elusive first house.

So here we are. The 2 years are up and we are ready to go back to the UK with our pot of gold. We did not run away from the UK and we both love the place. We were just ready to experience something new and the opportunity arose. I have to say though, we shrug off comments from people who have been here for 6 months and say its the best thing they've ever done, they are staying for life etc etc etc.
We too went through the usual phases: excitement at everything new but feeling its a foreign place that we are just visiting for a while, six months of friends visiting and us thinking 'this it not so bad, we could live here' by the six month mark, second six months no more visits and the distance begins to sink in, third six months we are in a routine and realise all the same issues the UK has are here too plus lots of other irritations, we then visit the UK for a month which makes us see with fresh eyes how amazing the lifestyles of our friends and families are back in the UK, fourth six months we commit to returning, much to the dismay of my bosses in Sydney.

Its been fun and good learning experience. Would we do it again? Not now, once is enough.
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Old Mar 9th 2003, 10:14 pm
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Thanks that was interesting !
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Old Mar 10th 2003, 5:50 am
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Default Re: To all those moving back home or wanting to.

Hi,

I like the way you nicely summed up the six month process and the feelings ou experience. We're in Canada now - have been for 18 months and are about to go back to the UK for a month in May. Spooky how the six month cylce works.

Cheers - Steve

Originally posted by Herman
For us it was a number of reasons. A few years in London in a high pressure role that involved lots of overseas travel was taking its toll on me. My then fiancee was reaching the end of her UK visa. We thought, well lets bugger off to France for a couple of years - our favourite country that happened to be between where both she (Czech Republic) and I were from.
Then a few weeks after these initial ideas I got an email forwarded from my UK boss which he had received from our Sydney office asking if there was anyone willing to come for 2 years who had some certain skills. My boss said he reckoned I was exactly what they were after and he would happily sponsor me for a 2 year secondment if I was interested. The best part about the deal was I would still be a UK employee, on my London salary, with a guaranteed job back in London at the end of the 2 years. So suddenly not only was it a chance to live somewhere else for a while, it was also a chance to earn mega money by local standards and save up for that ever elusive first house.

So here we are. The 2 years are up and we are ready to go back to the UK with our pot of gold. We did not run away from the UK and we both love the place. We were just ready to experience something new and the opportunity arose. I have to say though, we shrug off comments from people who have been here for 6 months and say its the best thing they've ever done, they are staying for life etc etc etc.
We too went through the usual phases: excitement at everything new but feeling its a foreign place that we are just visiting for a while, six months of friends visiting and us thinking 'this it not so bad, we could live here' by the six month mark, second six months no more visits and the distance begins to sink in, third six months we are in a routine and realise all the same issues the UK has are here too plus lots of other irritations, we then visit the UK for a month which makes us see with fresh eyes how amazing the lifestyles of our friends and families are back in the UK, fourth six months we commit to returning, much to the dismay of my bosses in Sydney.

Its been fun and good learning experience. Would we do it again? Not now, once is enough.
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Old Mar 10th 2003, 5:59 am
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Default Re: To all those moving back home or wanting to.

Originally posted by Herman
For us it was a number of reasons. A few years in London in a high pressure role that involved lots of overseas travel was taking its toll on me. My then fiancee was reaching the end of her UK visa. We thought, well lets bugger off to France for a couple of years - our favourite country that happened to be between where both she (Czech Republic) and I were from.
Then a few weeks after these initial ideas I got an email forwarded from my UK boss which he had received from our Sydney office asking if there was anyone willing to come for 2 years who had some certain skills. My boss said he reckoned I was exactly what they were after and he would happily sponsor me for a 2 year secondment if I was interested. The best part about the deal was I would still be a UK employee, on my London salary, with a guaranteed job back in London at the end of the 2 years. So suddenly not only was it a chance to live somewhere else for a while, it was also a chance to earn mega money by local standards and save up for that ever elusive first house.

So here we are. The 2 years are up and we are ready to go back to the UK with our pot of gold. We did not run away from the UK and we both love the place. We were just ready to experience something new and the opportunity arose. I have to say though, we shrug off comments from people who have been here for 6 months and say its the best thing they've ever done, they are staying for life etc etc etc.
We too went through the usual phases: excitement at everything new but feeling its a foreign place that we are just visiting for a while, six months of friends visiting and us thinking 'this it not so bad, we could live here' by the six month mark, second six months no more visits and the distance begins to sink in, third six months we are in a routine and realise all the same issues the UK has are here too plus lots of other irritations, we then visit the UK for a month which makes us see with fresh eyes how amazing the lifestyles of our friends and families are back in the UK, fourth six months we commit to returning, much to the dismay of my bosses in Sydney.

Its been fun and good learning experience. Would we do it again? Not now, once is enough.

I found that Interesting mind if I ask what you do for a liveing ???
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Old Mar 10th 2003, 6:32 am
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Default Re: To all those moving back home or wanting to.

Originally posted by jeannie
I found that Interesting mind if I ask what you do for a liveing ???
No problem. I am a UK qualified chartered accountant working in the corporate finance (mergers and acquisitions) area for one of the big four firms.
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Old Mar 11th 2003, 6:43 pm
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Default Re: the grass is greener?

Originally posted by AndrewR
Hi there.
Speaking for myself I'm going to fall back on an old cliche, and say that being abroad for four years now has made me realise that the grass aint always greener.
Hi Andrew and others in this thread. I would like to offer the perspective of one who has lived in Canada for a long time:

When I was growing up, my Dad would constantly get on at me to emigrate. "You've got to get out of this country Tim." "But Dad, I'm only five." What I really said was typical teenager: "I don't want to leave me friends." But then events conspired to change that outlook:

Dad took me to Arizona (to see my Mum and two sisters) when I was 19 and it changed my whole outlook on life. I didn't want to leave. But I had just been married only 3 weeks before. Before I (and only me and my Dad) went on that trip. And I also had an apprenticeship to finish. When I returned, I drove my new wife nuts going on about America, but I was bound and determined to emigrate.

Long story short (too late, I guess), we ended up in Canada. I felt like I was on holiday for the first year but then things started to go wrong: I got fired from my first job (for fighting at a company dance) and I got in debt. Had a bit of a reprieve with a wonderfull job up in Northern Alberta, but I buggered that up as well (I did last 4 years though). We stayed for seven years all together before things got so bad that we almost ran away (in effect) to the UK to get away from all of our problems.

At first, it was just great to be back. I felt that a tremendous weight had been lifted off of my shoulders, but, stangely enough, after that magic period of 6 months, I began to regret my decision and started to really miss Canada. After a further awful 18 months over there (mainly due to marriage problems) I returned by myself and started all over again. I sent for my wife and 3 kids later, but the die had been cast on that marriage and after about 3 more years (a living hell) we were divorced.

Later on, I remarried (to a Calgary gal) and within 3 months got fired from the job I had as a foreman in a structural steel plant (what's wrong with this guy?). My new wife was tired of her job so we headed over to the UK on a 2-year working holiday. It was a wonderful experince for both of us and great for our new marriage; but again, that old six months thing kicked in and I began to miss Canada. I can only explain the feeling I got as a kind of anxiousness. I was not really unhappy because we were having a good time over there, even though the trip was a lot more work than holiday.

On one of our many trips during that 2-year period, we went to Switzerland. As we stood on the top of the Jungfrau, looking over those snow covered mountains and seeing the deep blue sky (deeper blue because of the elevation), I knew what I was missing: It was simply the wide open spaces of Canada. It had got into my soul and that was why I could no longer settle in the UK. I get claustraphobic over there after a while. Simplistic, I know, but be prepared to realise that maybe this a better place in more ways than just the great outdoors.

Don't get me wrong, I wish I could go back every year. I get dead jealous of those that somehow seem to manage to do just that. But now I have two more little ones to consider (second family, second life). Oh, and I've been employed steady in one job for 11 years as well. Went back to College in 1989, changed my career, and now work in a lab environtment and also do regulatory affairs as a consultant. Almost grown up now as well.

Last edited by TimEh?; Mar 11th 2003 at 6:46 pm.
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Old Mar 11th 2003, 7:59 pm
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Default Re: the grass is greener?

Originally posted by Tim Airey
Hi Andrew and others in this thread. I would like to offer the perspective of one who has lived in Canada for a long time:

When I was growing up, my Dad would constantly get on at me to emigrate. "You've got to get out of this country Tim." "But Dad, I'm only five." What I really said was typical teenager: "I don't want to leave me friends." But then events conspired to change that outlook:

Dad took me to Arizona (to see my Mum and two sisters) when I was 19 and it changed my whole outlook on life. I didn't want to leave. But I had just been married only 3 weeks before. Before I (and only me and my Dad) went on that trip. And I also had an apprenticeship to finish. When I returned, I drove my new wife nuts going on about America, but I was bound and determined to emigrate.

Long story short (too late, I guess), we ended up in Canada. I felt like I was on holiday for the first year but then things started to go wrong: I got fired from my first job (for fighting at a company dance) and I got in debt. Had a bit of a reprieve with a wonderfull job up in Northern Alberta, but I buggered that up as well (I did last 4 years though). We stayed for seven years all together before things got so bad that we almost ran away (in effect) to the UK to get away from all of our problems.

At first, it was just great to be back. I felt that a tremendous weight had been lifted off of my shoulders, but, stangely enough, after that magic period of 6 months, I began to regret my decision and started to really miss Canada. After a further awful 18 months over there (mainly due to marriage problems) I returned by myself and started all over again. I sent for my wife and 3 kids later, but the die had been cast on that marriage and after about 3 more years (a living hell) we were divorced.

Later on, I remarried (to a Calgary gal) and within 3 months got fired from the job I had as a foreman in a structural steel plant (what's wrong with this guy?). My new wife was tired of her job so we headed over to the UK on a 2-year working holiday. It was a wonderful experince for both of us and great for our new marriage; but again, that old six months thing kicked in and I began to miss Canada. I can only explain the feeling I got as a kind of anxiousness. I was not really unhappy because we were having a good time over there, even though the trip was a lot more work than holiday.

On one of our many trips during that 2-year period, we went to Switzerland. As we stood on the top of the Jungfrau, looking over those snow covered mountains and seeing the deep blue sky (deeper blue because of the elevation), I knew what I was missing: It was simply the wide open spaces of Canada. It had got into my soul and that was why I could no longer settle in the UK. I get claustraphobic over there after a while. Simplistic, I know, but be prepared to realise that maybe this a better place in more ways than just the great outdoors.

Don't get me wrong, I wish I could go back every year. I get dead jealous of those that somehow seem to manage to do just that. But now I have two more little ones to consider (second family, second life). Oh, and I've been employed steady in one job for 11 years as well. Went back to College in 1989, changed my career, and now work in a lab environtment and also do regulatory affairs as a consultant. Almost grown up now as well.

Yep, everyone has their own thing which is important to them. For me though, I'd really like to be back in UK...as I've said before, I look at my parents and think that they have a pretty damn good quality of life, and thats where I'd like to be in a few years. There are lots of things about Canada/vancouver i'll miss, but (and this is a big but because I haven't yet gone back to live in UK again, so I could yet get wandering feet again) I think I'll be happier in the UK coming out to Canada on holiday, than vice-versa.
Cheers.
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Old Mar 11th 2003, 8:08 pm
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Default Re: the grass is greener?

Originally posted by AndrewR
Yep, everyone has their own thing which is important to them. For me though, I'd really like to be back in UK...as I've said before, I look at my parents and think that they have a pretty damn good quality of life, and thats where I'd like to be in a few years. There are lots of things about Canada/vancouver i'll miss, but (and this is a big but because I haven't yet gone back to live in UK again, so I could yet get wandering feet again) I think I'll be happier in the UK coming out to Canada on holiday, than vice-versa.
Cheers.
If I was entirely honest, and if it were not for family, I would probably try again myself. I often DO think that I have missed an awful lot of interesting events in the UK by being over here for 36 years. The main thing that puts me off though is the schools. I have a an 11-year old boy and I would fear for him over there. He has a few personality traits that I just know would get him thumped in the UK. But my daughter could take care of herself.
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Old Mar 11th 2003, 9:51 pm
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Do you feel like you have two lives ? An English life and a Canadain life and if you are away from one for too long you feel anxious ? Thats what I feel like !!
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Old Mar 12th 2003, 3:19 pm
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Originally posted by Interested
Do you feel like you have two lives ? An English life and a Canadain life and if you are away from one for too long you feel anxious ? Thats what I feel like !!
Two Lives? Very much so, but I wouldn't exactly say that I feel anxious about not living in the UK. I do miss certain things of course. I would say that it's more a feeling of not knowing who I am. For rather than feeling I have dual nationality (which I do) and all that that implies, it's more like I feel I don't belong fully to either country. It's like being in Limbo in a way. On balance, I'm happier over here though. Too many 'skeletons' for me over in the UK. Is this making sense?
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Old Mar 14th 2003, 9:37 pm
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Default Re: the grass is greener?

Originally posted by TimEh?
If I was entirely honest, and if it were not for family, I would probably try again myself. I often DO think that I have missed an awful lot of interesting events in the UK by being over here for 36 years. The main thing that puts me off though is the schools. I have a an 11-year old boy and I would fear for him over there. He has a few personality traits that I just know would get him thumped in the UK. But my daughter could take care of herself.
D'you mind if I ask what those personality traits are?
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Old Mar 15th 2003, 8:33 pm
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Default Re: the grass is greener?

Originally posted by muppetking
D'you mind if I ask what those personality traits are?
He's almost a clone of his elder half brother who had to fight his way thru school. I guess it's a kind of sulleness at times mixed with a measure of smart arsedness (made that word up). I really don't think he would fare the worse in the UK just because of that, but his small stature and accent might get him picked on. I shouldn't be so protective should I? I survived bullying in school in the UK - sort of - but I still hate it when I see it.
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