Ridere per non piangere ...
#61
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
The Problem with Speaking English
1.Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2.Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3.Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4.Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5.Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
+
Only in England
Only in England...do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and put our junk in the garage.
Only in England...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in England...do Supermarkets make the sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
1.Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2.Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3.Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4.Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5.Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
+
Only in England
Only in England...do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and put our junk in the garage.
Only in England...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in England...do Supermarkets make the sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
#62
Dunroaming back in UK
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Expat in Yorkshire now
Posts: 11,274
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
Economist view
#63
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
Berlusconi: is walking around Rome with his new girlfriend when they stop in front of shop....
Belusconi exclaims: " my darling, look here. Pants 20 Euro, Shirts 17 Euros, Leather coats 55 Euros. Take a look! Can you believe that they are talking about inflation and crisis due to the Euro! What inflation? What crisis?
Girlfriend : "My dear, this is not a cloths shop , it's a dry cleaners!"
Belusconi exclaims: " my darling, look here. Pants 20 Euro, Shirts 17 Euros, Leather coats 55 Euros. Take a look! Can you believe that they are talking about inflation and crisis due to the Euro! What inflation? What crisis?
Girlfriend : "My dear, this is not a cloths shop , it's a dry cleaners!"
#64
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
Nymphomaniac Convention
A man boarded an aircraft at London 's Heathrow Airport for New York , and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him.
"Hello", he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual Nymphomaniac convention in the United States ."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded," I use my experience to disprove some of the popular myths about sexuality.."
"Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?"
"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent.
We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish."
Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!"
Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy."
A man boarded an aircraft at London 's Heathrow Airport for New York , and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him.
"Hello", he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual Nymphomaniac convention in the United States ."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded," I use my experience to disprove some of the popular myths about sexuality.."
"Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?"
"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent.
We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish."
Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!"
Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy."
#65
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
half an hour ago we all logged on to a call with our USA contacts . The very american man on the line started off with '' Welcome back everyone I hope you all had a good christmas ... BANANA ! '' this left us lost for words until he explained '' thats italian for Happy New Year ''
#66
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
half an hour ago we all logged on to a call with our USA contacts . The very american man on the line started off with '' Welcome back everyone I hope you all had a good christmas ... BANANA ! '' this left us lost for words until he explained '' thats italian for Happy New Year ''
#67
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
half an hour ago we all logged on to a call with our USA contacts . The very american man on the line started off with '' Welcome back everyone I hope you all had a good christmas ... BANANA ! '' this left us lost for words until he explained '' thats italian for Happy New Year ''
Did you correct him?
#69
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Verona/ Nr Turin
Posts: 4,670
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
I hope you pronounce the double n. When I first moved to Italy, many moons ago, I couldn't understand why so many people were called Buonanima this or Buonanima that.
#70
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Disneylandia
Posts: 1,824
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
talking of Buonanima :
Paddy and Mick, with time on their hands, were looking at gravestones in a nearby cemetery. 'Hey, Mick, there's a chap here 152 years old.' 'What's his name?, asks Mick. Paddy replies 'Miles, from London.'
Paddy and Mick, with time on their hands, were looking at gravestones in a nearby cemetery. 'Hey, Mick, there's a chap here 152 years old.' 'What's his name?, asks Mick. Paddy replies 'Miles, from London.'
#72
Dunroaming back in UK
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Expat in Yorkshire now
Posts: 11,274
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
New sign gone up in car parks in Leicester:
#73
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
If your wife asks you to go down 'south' then please beware...
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisf...razilian-woman
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisf...razilian-woman
#74
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Disneylandia
Posts: 1,824
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
Findus are strenuously denying rumours that their fish fingers contain sea-horses.
The doctor said I should watch what I eat, so I booked a seat at the Grand National.
allegria!
'o nonno
The doctor said I should watch what I eat, so I booked a seat at the Grand National.
allegria!
'o nonno
#75
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
Findus Lasagne meals sell out when Italians realise they are made with horse meat.