Ridere per non piangere ...
Aug 31st 2012, 3:12 pm
#16
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2009
Location: Verona
Posts: 235
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
Brilliant!
Aug 31st 2012, 3:47 pm
#17
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Disneylandia
Posts: 1,824
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. 'Is this yours' she asked. 'Probably' said Paddy, 'she burns everything else'.
A mate of mine has just been to see his wife in hospital. She has a broken jaw and 2 black eyes. Seems they were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted decking on the patio.
A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. 'Can you describe the symptoms to me?'
'Yes...Homer is a fat yellow lazy b*****d and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair.'
Sex therapists claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears.
Personally I think it's b***s.
A mate of mine has just been to see his wife in hospital. She has a broken jaw and 2 black eyes. Seems they were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted decking on the patio.
A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. 'Can you describe the symptoms to me?'
'Yes...Homer is a fat yellow lazy b*****d and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair.'
Sex therapists claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears.
Personally I think it's b***s.
Aug 31st 2012, 4:39 pm
#18
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2010
Location: from Tilbury, Essex to Gallipoli, Italy
Posts: 614
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
Woman - A Chemical Analysis
Element : Woman
Symbol : Wo
Atomic Weight : Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175.
Discoverer : Adam
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower
concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to seasonal
fluctuations.
Physical Properties :
a) Surface usually covered with painted film.
b) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
c) Melts if given special treatment.
d) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
e) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
f) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.
Chemical Properties :
a) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones.
b) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
c) May explode spontaneously.
d) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in
alcohol to a certain point.
e) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
f) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.
Uses :
a) Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
b) Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
c) Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
d) Can cool things down when it's too hot.
Tests :
a) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
b) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
Caution :
a) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.
b) Illegal to possess more than one.
Element : Woman
Symbol : Wo
Atomic Weight : Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175.
Discoverer : Adam
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower
concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to seasonal
fluctuations.
Physical Properties :
a) Surface usually covered with painted film.
b) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
c) Melts if given special treatment.
d) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
e) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
f) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.
Chemical Properties :
a) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones.
b) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
c) May explode spontaneously.
d) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in
alcohol to a certain point.
e) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
f) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.
Uses :
a) Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
b) Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
c) Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
d) Can cool things down when it's too hot.
Tests :
a) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
b) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
Caution :
a) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.
b) Illegal to possess more than one.
Aug 31st 2012, 5:12 pm
#19
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2010
Location: Close to the wine
Posts: 1,522
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
A wife is very worried about her husband so she takes him to see the doctor.
After the examination the doctor tells the husband to go and sit in the waiting while he has a word with his wife.
So doctor please tell me the truth, is it serious?
Yes I am afraid it is, he has about 6 months left to live.
Oh Lord! What will I do without my George is there anything I can do?
Funny you should ask that, you could extend his life by about 18 to 24 months.
Really how?
Well, You will need to make sure he is happy and contend because stress and unhappiness is the real killer here. You will need to give him a full body massage three times a week to keep him relaxed, keep him sexual contend by administering to his every need. Basically give him your attention 24 hours a day.
On the way home George said to his wife, so what did the doctor say.
He said you will be dead in 6 months.
After the examination the doctor tells the husband to go and sit in the waiting while he has a word with his wife.
So doctor please tell me the truth, is it serious?
Yes I am afraid it is, he has about 6 months left to live.
Oh Lord! What will I do without my George is there anything I can do?
Funny you should ask that, you could extend his life by about 18 to 24 months.
Really how?
Well, You will need to make sure he is happy and contend because stress and unhappiness is the real killer here. You will need to give him a full body massage three times a week to keep him relaxed, keep him sexual contend by administering to his every need. Basically give him your attention 24 hours a day.
On the way home George said to his wife, so what did the doctor say.
He said you will be dead in 6 months.
Aug 31st 2012, 5:20 pm
#20
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2010
Location: Close to the wine
Posts: 1,522
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
AVAILABLE NOW - EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN
ALL WELCOME
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants
The course covers two days, lunch will be provided, as will instructions as how to take lunch from its packaging without a woman to hold it for you.
Topics covered on this course include:
DAY ONE
TOILET ROLLS - DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practising with hamper (pictures and graphics)
DISHES & CUTLERY; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate amongst a panel of experts
REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote - Helpline and support groups
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down whilst shouting - Open forum
DAY TWO
EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play
HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation and anger management
LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Role playing and slideshow
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class, NOT your secretary
GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available (male counsellers sadly unavailable-none passed training course)
ALL WELCOME
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants
The course covers two days, lunch will be provided, as will instructions as how to take lunch from its packaging without a woman to hold it for you.
Topics covered on this course include:
DAY ONE
TOILET ROLLS - DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practising with hamper (pictures and graphics)
DISHES & CUTLERY; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate amongst a panel of experts
REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote - Helpline and support groups
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down whilst shouting - Open forum
DAY TWO
EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play
HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation and anger management
LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Role playing and slideshow
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class, NOT your secretary
GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available (male counsellers sadly unavailable-none passed training course)
Sep 1st 2012, 7:37 am
#21
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Disneylandia
Posts: 1,824
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
Three very old and very chaste nuns are waiting at the Pearly Gates to be interviewed by St. Peter. St. Peter comes along and says ' Sisters, we have been watching you, all your long and fruitful lives; your religious fervour, your unflinching help to the poor, the sick, the unhappy people of your world. We have been so impressed that we are going to give you a second chance. You can go back to earth as anyone you wish'.
The first nun says 'OK, then I want to go back as Madonna', and pooof - off she goes.
The second nun says 'and I want to be Sophia Loren', and pooof - off she goes too.
The third nun says 'I would like to go back as Sarah Pipellini'. St. Peter gives her a quizzical look, so she hands him a newspaper. 'Look, like thees' and shows him the headline: 'Sahara pipeline laid by 1400 men in six months'.
The first nun says 'OK, then I want to go back as Madonna', and pooof - off she goes.
The second nun says 'and I want to be Sophia Loren', and pooof - off she goes too.
The third nun says 'I would like to go back as Sarah Pipellini'. St. Peter gives her a quizzical look, so she hands him a newspaper. 'Look, like thees' and shows him the headline: 'Sahara pipeline laid by 1400 men in six months'.
Sep 4th 2012, 5:36 pm
#22
Dunroaming back in UK
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Expat in Yorkshire now
Posts: 11,290
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
I went to the Doctor in England and she said you have high blood pressure and are overweight; therefore you must east less food, drink less alcohol and exercise more.
So I moved to Italy and saw an Italian doctor:
Doctor, I've heard that exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Have a sleep.
OK: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
He said You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables! So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
So I asked: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
Well, he said, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
I can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in olive oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Is chocolate bad for me?
Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Is swimming good for your figure?
If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, said the Doctor, I hope this has cleared up any British misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Barolo in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'
I LIKE ITALY
So I moved to Italy and saw an Italian doctor:
Doctor, I've heard that exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Have a sleep.
OK: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
He said You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables! So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
So I asked: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
Well, he said, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
I can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in olive oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Is chocolate bad for me?
Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Is swimming good for your figure?
If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, said the Doctor, I hope this has cleared up any British misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Barolo in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'
I LIKE ITALY
Sep 4th 2012, 11:36 pm
#23
Pull my finger
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Vicenza
Posts: 4,064
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
I went to the Doctor in England and she said you have high blood pressure and are overweight; therefore you must east less food, drink less alcohol and exercise more.
So I moved to Italy and saw an Italian doctor:
Doctor, I've heard that exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Have a sleep.
OK: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
He said You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables! So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
So I asked: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
Well, he said, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
I can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in olive oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Is chocolate bad for me?
Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Is swimming good for your figure?
If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, said the Doctor, I hope this has cleared up any British misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Barolo in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'
I LIKE ITALY
So I moved to Italy and saw an Italian doctor:
Doctor, I've heard that exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Have a sleep.
OK: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
He said You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables! So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
So I asked: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
Well, he said, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
I can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in olive oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Is chocolate bad for me?
Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Is swimming good for your figure?
If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, said the Doctor, I hope this has cleared up any British misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Barolo in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'
I LIKE ITALY
Sep 5th 2012, 7:13 am
#24
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Disneylandia
Posts: 1,824
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
Dan was a single chap living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
'I may just look like an ordinary bloke,' he said to her, 'but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit £65 million'.
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card, and three months later she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning.
One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
'I may just look like an ordinary bloke,' he said to her, 'but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit £65 million'.
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card, and three months later she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning.
Sep 5th 2012, 7:30 am
#25
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Disneylandia
Posts: 1,824
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant.
'Murphy, I'm going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients.'
'Yes sir!' answers Murphy.
The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks : 'So Murphy, how was your day?'
Murphy told him he took care of three patients. 'The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him paracetamol.'
'Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?' asks the doctor.
'The second one had indigestion and I gave him gaviscon, so I did sir' says Murphy.
'Bravo, bravo! You're good at this, and what about the third one?' asks the doctor.
'Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a gorgeous young woman borsts in so she does. Like a bolt outa the blue, she tears off all her clothes, lies down on the table spreading her legs and shouts "Help me, for the love of St.Patrick, help me! For five years I have not seen any man!"
'Tunderin lard Jaysus Murphy, what did you do?' asks the doctor.
'I put drops in her eyes'
'Murphy, I'm going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients.'
'Yes sir!' answers Murphy.
The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks : 'So Murphy, how was your day?'
Murphy told him he took care of three patients. 'The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him paracetamol.'
'Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?' asks the doctor.
'The second one had indigestion and I gave him gaviscon, so I did sir' says Murphy.
'Bravo, bravo! You're good at this, and what about the third one?' asks the doctor.
'Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a gorgeous young woman borsts in so she does. Like a bolt outa the blue, she tears off all her clothes, lies down on the table spreading her legs and shouts "Help me, for the love of St.Patrick, help me! For five years I have not seen any man!"
'Tunderin lard Jaysus Murphy, what did you do?' asks the doctor.
'I put drops in her eyes'
Sep 8th 2012, 7:56 am
#26
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Disneylandia
Posts: 1,824
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
Hilary and Francesco Totti are out in the country on a picnic. They find three hand grenades and decide to take them to a police station. 'What happens if one explodes?' says Hilary. 'Oh, we'll lie, and say there were only two,' says Totti.Totti is in the bathroom doing his ablutions. Hilary shouts 'did you find the shampoo?' 'Yes', replies Totti, 'but it says for dry hair, and I've just wet mine.'
Totti and Hilary are discussing Christmas. 'I see Christmas falls on a Friday this year,' says Hilary. 'Let's hope it's not the 13th.' says Totti.
Sep 13th 2012, 6:58 am
#28
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Disneylandia
Posts: 1,824
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
Remind me to never stop there for lunch.
Sep 18th 2012, 1:57 pm
#29
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Dec 2011
Location: Parma
Posts: 1,489
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
So, Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Rome airport.
“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.
“German,” she replies.
“Occupation?”
“No, just here for a few days.”
“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.
“German,” she replies.
“Occupation?”
“No, just here for a few days.”
Sep 18th 2012, 2:06 pm
#30
Dunroaming back in UK
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Expat in Yorkshire now
Posts: 11,290
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
stolen from elsewhere on the internet:
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella Mississippi."
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella Mississippi."
Last edited by Garbatellamike; Sep 18th 2012 at 2:07 pm. Reason: spelling
