Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > Rest of the World > Africa
Reload this Page >

A move to Lagos with a young child- a stupid idea?

A move to Lagos with a young child- a stupid idea?

Old Feb 16th 2010, 1:29 pm
  #1  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 5
krissu is an unknown quantity at this point
Default A move to Lagos with a young child- a stupid idea?

Hi All,
Thanks for opening the thread! As you can see, our family has an option to move to Lagos (having done a bit of homework by now - probably going to be located in VI or Ikoyi Island). We can either choose: A) we go; B) my husband goes unaccompanied C)We decline. As the assignment can last for a couple of years, I consider it to be a bit of a pain to stay behind in UK. My obvious concern is my 8yr old son. How safe is it for children? What are the good schools like and does anyone have any good words to say about either about the british international or american international schools there? Would you recommend boarding (although I think it might be a bit too big of a change for him) so I'd rather keep him at home during the week. Is the drive to school safe? Is there enough extra-curriculars? What are the medical services like? Are people friendly to kids? Could there be issues with racism against europeans in VI or Ikoyi? Any help with any of these questions or indeed with any other points that seem important is highly appreciated.
PS! Also if anyone could give me an idea of how much rent would one expect to pay for a respectable family house.
Thank you for all of your help!

Last edited by krissu; Feb 16th 2010 at 1:33 pm.
krissu is offline  
Old Feb 17th 2010, 5:24 pm
  #2  
BE Forum Addict
 
Tockalosh's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Up on the Ranches not down on the Springs
Posts: 2,109
Tockalosh has a reputation beyond reputeTockalosh has a reputation beyond reputeTockalosh has a reputation beyond reputeTockalosh has a reputation beyond reputeTockalosh has a reputation beyond reputeTockalosh has a reputation beyond reputeTockalosh has a reputation beyond reputeTockalosh has a reputation beyond reputeTockalosh has a reputation beyond reputeTockalosh has a reputation beyond reputeTockalosh has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: A move to Lagos with a young child- a stupid idea?

Yes its stupid

Option C please
Tockalosh is offline  
Old Feb 17th 2010, 6:13 pm
  #3  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 5
krissu is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: A move to Lagos with a young child- a stupid idea?

Would you mind me asking for a reason? It's hard to make a fully informed decision on the info you have provided...
krissu is offline  
Old Feb 18th 2010, 9:02 am
  #4  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Dec 2007
Location: Doha
Posts: 535
Bonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud of
Default Re: A move to Lagos with a young child- a stupid idea?

Originally Posted by krissu
Would you mind me asking for a reason? It's hard to make a fully informed decision on the info you have provided...
Have you visited Lagos before? Have you lived in a developing country before?

The above will help replies to be in context.

Whilst some families do manage there, it's hardly the best posting. Unless the employer is fully supporting you, think carefully.
Bonny Boy is offline  
Old Feb 18th 2010, 11:10 am
  #5  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 18
tyde is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: A move to Lagos with a young child- a stupid idea?

Hi. I am a South African, my husband has been working in Nigeria for the past 10 years on and off. He works for an oil company and he would never in a million years dream of taking myself or my children to Lagos. South Africa is dangerous enough but he is happier to leave us here while he works than take us into Lagos. You have to be extremely wealthy to enjoy a protected lifestyle there, you need a driver and constant protection from people who pester you for money / buying things etc. There is a lot of corruption, you are badgered all the time to pay bribes etc. It is also a very dusty, dirty city, over populated etc. It is far better for your husband to commute every few weeks if he decides to work there. It is not the kind of place for any mother to raise her children. Africa is a difficult place and while i am trying to be open minded it is one of the last places on earth that I would want to live. 2 years into his work in Nigeria he was kidnapped by rebel forces who returned him to his company after 1 week for 5000USD and a boat motor.
tyde is offline  
Old Feb 18th 2010, 11:48 am
  #6  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 5
krissu is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: A move to Lagos with a young child- a stupid idea?

Thank you Tyde! That makes it all much clearer. Scary...
Anyhow, just another question - provided we can afford the 24 hr protection/drivers and the rest and that my husband doesn't work for the oil company, would you still think it to be just as bad/dangerous?
All the best wishes,
k
krissu is offline  
Old Feb 18th 2010, 11:53 am
  #7  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 5
krissu is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: A move to Lagos with a young child- a stupid idea?

Originally Posted by Bonny Boy
Have you visited Lagos before? Have you lived in a developing country before?

The above will help replies to be in context.

Whilst some families do manage there, it's hardly the best posting. Unless the employer is fully supporting you, think carefully.

I have never visited Lagos and I have never lived in a developing country before and I have once cried in an Italian B&B cause there were cockroaches in the bathroom)... You reckon - no chances of survival?
There will be full support from the employer guards, househelp etc)...
krissu is offline  
Old Feb 18th 2010, 2:09 pm
  #8  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 18
tyde is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: A move to Lagos with a young child- a stupid idea?

There is always a chance of survival and the chance that it may be okay as long as you know the risk involved and put every precaution in place to protect yourself, which is pretty much the way that we live here. I have heard that the islands are very nice and it is obviously the wealthy that live there in isolation, however, you have to weigh up the pros and cons - you still have to get from the airport home, to school and back everyday, you still have to go shopping, hence you still have to face the unprotected world everyday. I guess you have to weigh up the financial benefits that you would gain and maybe try it for a time period should you decide to go ahead. It is a tough, very tough decision, Africa is not for the faint hearted - but it certainly does get under your skin if you let it. Just bear in mind that every single thing you do is going to be a huge mission, red tape, language barriers, obstacles all over the place. Good luck with your decision, if it was me the answer would be no.
tyde is offline  
Old Feb 19th 2010, 9:50 am
  #9  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1
gstarman is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: A move to Lagos with a young child- a stupid idea?



I wouldn't reject it out of hand. The international schools (American, British and French) are a better standard than anywhere else in Africa. You will have possibilities to go to beaches / go to the bush / visit Benin (only a couple of hours drive away). And it is a big, exciting city if you manage to relate to the locals. I'm not an expert but I was about to accept a posting there a couple of years ago and visited the schools and the accommodation. I think the biggest struggle might be ensuring a decent standard of accomodation. And the traffic - but if you live in a big Western city you will already be spending time commuting to work, it's just a bit more unpredictable in Lagos, not necessarily more time consuming.

Anyway, best of luck and try to check it out yourself if possible before deciding.
gstarman is offline  
Old Feb 21st 2010, 4:46 am
  #10  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Dec 2007
Location: Doha
Posts: 535
Bonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud of
Default Re: A move to Lagos with a young child- a stupid idea?

Originally Posted by krissu
I have never visited Lagos and I have never lived in a developing country before and I have once cried in an Italian B&B cause there were cockroaches in the bathroom)... You reckon - no chances of survival?
There will be full support from the employer guards, househelp etc)...
From my side, I lived for 2 years in Nigeria, down in the Delta near Port Harcourt, but transiting in and out of the country via overnight stops in Lagos.

Tyde sums it up pretty well - Lagos is an overcrowded, polluted, lawless city and would be quite a shock if you have not travelled/lived in that kind of environment.

Yes, you could fly in, hole up in your accommodation with a trusted driver taking your child to/from school and doing the shopping for you - but what kind of life would that be?

Best that your husband goes out alone initially, checks it out and then you can make an informed decision.

I am reluctant to say do not do it, because if you are a streetwise, adventurous, open minded type then it could be a great experience. However, if you prefer a more sedate and comfortable lifestyle, Lagos is not really the place.
Bonny Boy is offline  
Old Feb 22nd 2010, 1:09 pm
  #11  
Banned
 
Joined: May 2008
Location: Lagrange 2
Posts: 1,507
Bijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: A move to Lagos with a young child- a stupid idea?

2 weeks ago I was talking to a Nigerian man in Gambia - he had come for a holiday and he lived in Lagos. He had been out the previous night and was genuinely amazed that he had seen two white people out walking and even one out on his own after dark.

I've been in VI many times and would not venture out at night. But I don't think it is as dangerous for white people as South Africa is. That is not a helpful remark I know but it is a matter of scale.

Schools are good and the teachers are well trained. Standards of discipline in schools in West Africa are high because of the influence of SL teachers (ran off after the war there) who are excellent.

I went to PH as well but was not kidnapped - but I was robbed by the immigration official and the plane crashed into a cow on the runway in compensation for avoiding being kidnapped.
Bijilo123 is offline  
Old Feb 22nd 2010, 2:42 pm
  #12  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 5
krissu is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: A move to Lagos with a young child- a stupid idea?

I just wanted to thank everyone helping me out here! It is a hard decision and all the comments are highly appreciated and please do give me more feedback. Anyhow, it would be nice to hear from a parent actually living and schooling a child there as well. Anyone?
krissu is offline  
Old Feb 22nd 2010, 4:10 pm
  #13  
Banned
 
Joined: May 2008
Location: Lagrange 2
Posts: 1,507
Bijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond reputeBijilo123 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: A move to Lagos with a young child- a stupid idea?

Here is another idea.

I am currently living in the UK and my family is in Gambia. This could mirror one of the possibilities that you have which is to retain the family home in RSA with the working partner in Lagos - the distance is about the same.

I can travel quite often to Gambia and you really do need this to maintain the family and to me the decision to keep the kids in the good school in Gambia rather than put them in the not so good school in the UK overrode all other decisions. This puts a burden on the family which I bear but it does work. I have considered bringing them back but would do so only at the start of a school year which is a factor for you to consider if your husband goes.

To be honest, I would positively advise you (I am assuming you are white) not to send your children to live in Nigeria or any other West African state (other than Gambia). You know that a lot of the horror stories in RSA originate from Zims or Nigerians and in WAfrica you still have (although it is not a daily ocurrence) this Juju nonsense where sacrificing a white or mixed race will make you rich.

It is viable for a white single or couple to live and thrive in Lagos and there are nice compunds to stay in but if you have a family then my recommendation is not to go.

If the job involves travel to Warre or Port Harcourt and he is white then it is just too dangerous. He will be kidnapped and ransomed.

Good luck this is a hard decision.
Bijilo123 is offline  
Old Feb 23rd 2010, 7:07 am
  #14  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 3
esquire is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: A move to Lagos with a young child- a stupid idea?

Well I lived in Abuja for a year... which is a paradise compared to Lagos. Unless you get a large living allowance for Lagos and live on Victoria Island (or whatever is the nice area of the city these days) your quality of life will be poor. Cost of living in Nigeria for a westerner is sky high. I remember $20 for a head of moldy broccoli.

I will say this, there is no other city on the face of this earth quite like Lagos.

But hey, if the money is right any situation can be made 'livable'.
--

No issues with racism towards westerners in Nigeria, everyone will be nice to you, then rob you.
If you need serious medical attention, fly to London.
If your company isn't providing for your accommodation it wouldn't be worth it, Lagos is far too expensive.

Last edited by esquire; Feb 23rd 2010 at 7:34 am.
esquire is offline  
Old Feb 23rd 2010, 8:22 am
  #15  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Dec 2007
Location: Doha
Posts: 535
Bonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud ofBonny Boy has much to be proud of
Default Re: A move to Lagos with a young child- a stupid idea?

Originally Posted by Bijilo123

To be honest, I would positively advise you (I am assuming you are white) not to send your children to live in Nigeria or any other West African state (other than Gambia). You know that a lot of the horror stories in RSA originate from Zims or Nigerians and in WAfrica you still have (although it is not a daily ocurrence) this Juju nonsense where sacrificing a white or mixed race will make you rich.


If the job involves travel to Warre or Port Harcourt and he is white then it is just too dangerous. He will be kidnapped and ransomed.

Good luck this is a hard decision.
Ghana is an OK West African country - Spent 3 very good years there.

It is not necessarily dangerous to go to Warre/Port Harcourt if suitable arrangements are in hand. I would fly to PHC from Lagos then helicopter directly into the work camp - land/sea transfers were discontinued by my company in 2006. We flew into Owerri during the time PHC airport was closed
Bonny Boy is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.