This is the week that was ...

09:58, Friday 13 July 2007 | Posted in My family and other animals
2 comments
Sorry its a long one!
Where do i start?
Firstly an apology to all those of you who have emailed, texted and/or pm'ed me over the last week.  I just havent been in the right frame of mind to reply but i am starting to get through the backlog now and i promise i will reply to you all.

A week past Tuesday
When i started the day all i was really thinking about was getting the house sorted for the viewers who were coming in the afternoon.
But the phone call i got at half 9 put a stop to all of that.  For those of you who dont know, my Grandad has been completely bed-bound for the last 2 years suffering from Parkinsons Disease.  His condition has been compounded by dementia which has gradually worsened and for the last 6 months he has lost all comprehension for the world around him.
The phone call i got on that Tuesday morning was from my grandma telling me that she couldnt get Grandad to respond and she couldnt hear him breathing.  My uncle was there with her but she couldnt get hold of my Mam.
I thought at the time that i was quite calm - i know i sounded calm when i told Grandma not to worry about that as i would find her.  However when i realised that i was phoning Mam's mobile about every 30 seconds i decided that i wasnt quite as calm as i had thought.
Cutting a very long story short my Grandad had simply stopped breathing and died peacefully in his sleep.  A very gentle way to go after such a long and debilitating illness.

A week past Tuesday afternoon
The house viewers, for whom i had spent a whole day cleaning my house, never showed up.  I thought about phoning them and asking them if they would like to view again at another time (good salesperson in me) but then i decided that i really couldnt be bothered anyway.

Intervening bit of the week
Had two more estate agents in to value the house - one 10 grand less than the first, one ten grand more.  How can they be so different?

A week ago (Friday) - Heard it on the grape vine
My eldest came home with a puzzled look on his face.  'Mam?', 'Yes?', 'You know the people who live in the end house?', 'Martin and Kerry, yes' (lol - he is not very good with names!), 'Well Martin just stopped me in the street and asked us when we were moving out because someone had told him that we had sold our house'
I have to admit i laughed - how in the world do these rumours get started?!
You get a couple of estate agents in to value your house and low and behold everyone 'knows' that you have sold your house to a couple of chavs and are moving to Outer Mongolia to raise wild Llamas for a living .  Actually that doesnt sound like too bad a plan - maybe i will suggest it to Graz.

A week ago (Friday) - Teatime
Mam had phoned earlier in the day - could she bring my Grandma round for tea (trying to get her out of the house for a bit).  Maybe i could cook mince and dumplings?
I have no idea why they wanted mince and dumplings but i duly obliged.
When i told Rhys and Callum that Grandma, Grandad and Great Grandma were coming for tea Rhys wanted to know if Great Grandad was coming too.  So how exactly do you explain death to a rather sensitive 4 year old who is prone to worrying?  I know that my cousin had told her 4 year old that Great Grandad had died and gone to live with Jesus in heaven - but what if i dont believe that myself?  It seems rather unfair of me to tell my 4 year old something that i dont believe is true.
Now dont get me wrong.  I believe that we all have a soul and that soul lives on after our bodies are gone - the part i dont believe is the Jesus in heaven bit.
I am slightly ashamed to admit that i didnt give Rhys an answer at all.  I avoided the question and moved the conversation on in the sure and certain knowledge that at 4 years old he wasnt really that bothered anyway.  I know that i should have a better strategy for dealing with things like this - i just have no idea what.  Answers on a postcard please.

Sunday
Sunday was my sister Claire's 30th birthday.  Happy Birthday Claire!!!
This had been a bit of a milestone for her as she has been sorting out the paperwork for her visa to oz and needed to lodge before she turned 30 and as she would have lost 5 points (those 5 points made the difference between an independent visa and needing a sponsor).  I am really really please to say that she lodged in time and got the confirmation through before her birthday!  Yay my master plan to move all of my family to oz with me is working! (only kidding - although they do all seem to have decided come too!)

Monday morning - The funeral
Running late as usual!
Remarkably eldest son appeared out of his bedroom having dressed HIMSELF in a pair of dress trousers and a shirt (!?!) plus he had arranged for his Grandma to get him a black tie.  All sorted - nice one Andrew.
Slightly late in the day i realised that i had put on far too much weight lately and there was no way i was getting into my black suit - so had to dig around in my wardrobe to try and find something black that was reasonably dressy (black jeans and a t-shirt NOT going to work).
Ended up in a pair of black trousers that made my bum look HUGE - and a posh long length black cardigan that was far too warm for the weather but it was the best i could do.  No-one was going to be looking at me anyway (i hope).
Dropped youngest two off at playgroup (had arranged with a friend to pick them up if we were not back in time).
Got to Grandma's house and hugged and then chatted to loads of family who i hadnt seen since the last family funeral - nearly 2 years ago.  I wonder why extended families only ever get together for funerals?  i suppose we are all so busy with our own lives we have very little time for other peoples - even those we are related to.
The funeral service was typically religious with the usual bit added about what Grandad did in his life.  (note to self - must find an alternative to the church funeral)
Definitely the most moving part of the service was when Claire stood up and talked about our Grandad.  I dont think there was a dry eye in the house.  I will get her to send me a copy and add it to a blog entry.

Monday afternoon - The party
Grandad always said that it was not a proper party unless there were balloons, so Mam turned up after the funeral with loads of purple helium filled balloons!  The kids thought it was great!
Loads of people kept asking us about going to Australia.  I had been trying not to mention it as i know that Grandma is not particularly happy about us going but nearly everyone i spoke to wanted to talk about our plans!   She did actually join in with the conversations though and she seemed ok about it.  Ages ago I had said that we would pay for Grandma to come over and see us once we move - but she had refused to even contemplate the idea.  Apparently she is too old!?!  Anyway everyone seemed to have a story about how they know someone in their 80s who has kids in Australia and they are flying back and forward all the time and she actually seemed to come around to the idea.  We will get her out there yet .

Monday night - Contemplation
It has been the strangest week.  I have sort of felt very odd.  I know i should be upset about losing my Grandad but to be honest i am not.  What i realise now of course is that i didnt lose him last Tuesday - he had already gone.  The Grandad that i grew up with - the one who always had loads of time to spend with his grand-daughters, so much love and affection for his family - he left us a long time ago.  This week we may have been saying goodbye to his body but i wasnt saying goodbye to my Grandad.  I had already done that.
I am crying more as i write this than i have done all week.  I love you Grandad and i miss you. x

Last bit of the week
Chaired playgroup AGM on Tuesday.  Only got around to writing the agenda and chairman's report on Monday night.  Susan, the committee secretary, was worse though - she only wrote her report on the Tuesday morning!
Thursday finally 'got rid' of Parents & Toddlers - will write a blog entry about this anyway as it included a Summer Show and i have loads to say about Callum and the animals!
Thursday afternoon.  Chosen estate agent was back in today to do the photos etc.  He said that they would get the details to us to check asap.  So at least something is still progressing - unlike our visa!

Well ... Congratulations if you have made it to the end of all of that!!
I would normally have had half a dozen entries to cover that lot.  I will try and keep it shorter in future!  I did try and start writing a few times but the words just didnt want to come.  Anyway normal service is now resumed.

Tiggs x




My sympathy

04:27, Friday 13 July 2007 | Posted by geordie mandy
Sorry to hear about your granda. It hit me more after a few weeks than it did when he actually dies . So i know where you are coming from.)))))))))hugs((((((((((
The way i explained to my Youngest when My Granda died was to tell him that he gone to a place where he was in no more pain and his spirit was all round us. So when we see my Granda fav flowers (daffs) then we think of Granda and he will know we miss him. He seemed to understand

Its a pain when viewers dont show up especially when you have gone to so much effort to get it looking good.
Mandy




Untitled Comment

06:35, Friday 13 July 2007 | Posted by herrchook
So sorry to hear about your Grandad, and the crappy viewers Tiggs. We're thinking of you.

Gill

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