Tiggs - soon to be patented - migrating to Oz diet.Are you worried about your wasteline?Are you always trying the latest fad diet but not loosing any weight? Then you need to try Tiggs' - soon to be patented - migrating to Oz diet. This is the new easy to follow diet that will have the pounds dropping off you. No calorie counting! No points to add up! No strenuous exercising! All you need is an Oz PR visa and a one way flight to Oz.! It also helps to have a family who settle into Oz life very quickly leaving you the only one wondering what you have done (this ensures that you cant cheat on the diet and head 'home') A farily hefty dose of stress also speeds up the dieting process and if you can include getting over emotional about daft little things and crying for a week when your OH starts their new job because you are now 'on your own' then you will be laughing (metaphorically speaking of course) For the advanced dieter (including those who need to shift those extra few pounds) you can supplement your diet with the additional Tiggs' house buyers diet PLUS. This is guaranteed to dramatically increase your stress levels, especially during the week when 'the bank tell you they are not going to release the funds in time for the settlement date'. With proven results you too can drop two (yes that does say TWO) dress sizes in just four months ... ... well it worked for me anyway  The now considerably thinner - Tiggs x The Axe ManThe weather is turning (so they tell us, although today I got sunburnt on the roof clearing more moss off). As a result Tiggs has got organised and ordered in the firewood...and an axe.Now I have been known to slice my own hand cutting turnip and am banned from using most power tools due to the danger of me, the environment and any wildlife in close proximity to me while attacking something with one of these things...but apparently I can be trusted with an axe..I suppose I have not managed to bludgeon myself with the pickaxe yet and this is the same principle (although she does keep going on about my life insurance )Anyway one tonne of red gum wood turned up when I was at work on Friday.  I was presented with my new self maiming device and pointed to the pile of wood. Pure stress relief. Problem is having selected a piece of wood that resembled some granite for my cutting block and hitting half a dozen pieces I realised I had cracked a paving block. I gave up for the night. Today I got the axe out again but moved my chopping area to the hard standing next to the wood shed and put down a couple of old wardrobe doors to hit onto reasoning that these would disperse some of the shock. This plan did not work. I have now cracked 4 bricks, the area I was working on this morning is now 2 inches lower than the surrounding area, and due to a richochet from one of the pieces of wood her large pot is now so much mosaic  . On top of that there are already 6 pieces where the axe goes in about 2mm then gets stuck so I have to heave on it and lever the blade back out but the wood is like concrete and refuses to break, split or even chip into smaller pieces. Might have to come back to those. Having done about 1/4 of the pile and giving up due to being absolutley knackered the friendly neighbour over the back started cutting his...with a band saw  .I am now typing this with my one working arm due to the muscle bruising from chopping the wood but i am lovely and warm :-D Graz |
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