So where are we now..  For the most part very happy. We had a trip back to the UK in March - which for me personally changed some of my views.  I think it was a case more of a badly planned trip than anything else.  We ended up having the inlaws house as our base. BIG mistake!   It was great to land back in Heathrow - and equally great to see friends and family again.  We had hired a car but my best friend and her 2 daughters were there to meet us... It was just the best surprise EVER!!  Lots of tears and excitement!  

The Problem for me was that i felt 'stifled'... I wanted to be able to go about my business, pop in to see people, stay out when i wanted - instead i felt like a teenager on curfew!   In the future we have decided that we will rent a house - use that as our base and ask people to come and see us!

When I was in the UK however, I kept feeling that there was nothing in california that I missed - I told my friend that I couldn't think of a single thing, apart from my dogs and Daz (he had only stayed a week in UK) that i missed.  Unfortunately she took this as an opener to tell me that she thought it was a 'daft' idea to go and when was Daz 'gonna get over it'!!  It was a little tongue and cheek, but she was desperately upset when we left - and made it clear that she blamed my hubby for it!  So I spent my last week in the UK dreading going back to California and not enjoying my visit in the UK because of my constant 'curfews' - I felt somewhat of a no-mad.

Well the day came to go back and I just wanted to get the flight over with. It was a horrible, long uncomfortable flight.  When we arrived at LAX Daz was there waiting with a little banner he had made welcoming us home - bless - but we were in no humour for it.. poor thing!  As soon as we stepped out of the airport I felt a calmness come over me.. I was actually happy to be back!  It was a lovely feeling - an unexpected feeling.

Also getting back to the house was lovely - having my own things around me and sleeping in my bed was the best!  The next few days were so nice - I just felt happy.  My lasting feelings of being back in the UK and seeing everyone, was that they were all still there and would still be there in 1,2 or 3 years - same goes for the UK - it was still there and won't be going anyway anytime soon!

Its now been just over 2 months since our trip and of course some of my immediate feelings have wained.  But on the whole things are good.  Sam is now playing for a soccer team and he loves being back in the game. His fitness is down - but i don't think it will be long before he catches up. He trains up to 4 times a week - and on a saturday morning its beach training - thats something to tell his mates back home!  Amber hasn't got herself into any kind of sport yet - thats my next big challange.  She is incredibly talented in sports and was on the 'gifted and talented' programme in her old school - but i think she is struggling to find an alternative to her chosen game, Netball.   Chelsea continues to be a constant worry to me - she is a great kid, confident and mostly sensible - but being the mum of a beautiful 18 year old here in california just worries me constantly!

I think one of my biggest problems here is my sense of 'worth'..  I'm not working although i could if i wished.  I have decided to take a Business course at the college - but am holding out til after July so i don't have to pay 'out-of-state' tuition fees. It will be september before i start and it seems a lifetime away.  Whilst it is great to be able to do things in the house, go shopping and generally enjoy California sunshine, I am feeling left out and not part of 'life' here.  Daz told me yesterday that I should look at my achievements since getting here.  He feels i'm a totally different person, a calmer more focused person.   He said that i should pat myself on my back for taking 3 children and moving them to another country - and helping them through every stage of the journey. He is right of course - but thats my job, i'm there mum.  I scarfice myself in any and everyway to make sure that they are adjusted, settled, happy and making a positive contibution of their lives.

The other question in my mind at the moment - and another joy of being an expat - is will I ever be able to go back to the UK.  This was NEVER going to be a question in my mind - we would have our adventure and then go back to the UK and live there. We would of course be all the better for our adventure - but thats how it would work.  Now however, I think about going back and wonder how we would settle back into that life.  I love the UK and know that we would live completely differently to how we did before we left - but now we have all these experiances - now we know how fabulous  another lifestyle can be. So how do you go back without ever saying on a cold rainy day inthe UK..' if we were in california now, we would be doing.....'   I am somewhere inbetween the 'rejection' and 'acceptance' stage of being an expat.  I still reject certain things that are different to the UK but am beginning to accept more and more.  I'm scared i will fall out of love with the UK - I don't think i'll ever love the US like i did the UK - i'm scared i will be in a position of feeling that the US can't offer me everything - and neither can the UK...  Bummer!!!!! 

So we arrived at LAX around 2.30pm.  Our first thought as we landed was whether Freddie had made the flight ok..  I tried to look from the plane to see if we could see him being offloaded.. but couldn't    Anyway we got to Immigration- the queues were enormous - I think about 20 other flights must have landed at the same fecking time!!  Anyway we did all that - everything was in order - All we had to do now was get our cases and find out where to get freddie.  Our first stop was the rental car place.. that all went smoothly - we had to get a great BIG SUV because of all the cases and Freddies cage too.  We got in the car.. by this time really quite knackered.. and headed for Virgin Cargo.  We eventually found it and there he was... Bless his heart he didn't seem to know what had happened to him!!!  BUT.. they wouldn't let us take him.. we had to go to another place a few miles away to get the paperwork stamp.. ARGHHHHH.  The woman wasn't even going to let me take him of his cage until we got the paperwork done - but I did plead with her and that was fine.  Daz and Sam went off to the paperwork... 2 and a half hours later they returned!!!!!!!!!!!!  I can not even describe how we were feeling at this stage.. tired, emotional, thirsty, dirty.. it was just so horrible.  I think this was our first real taster of how backward America can be when it comes to paperwork etc... they love a bit of paperwork.. especially in California i'm told... Great!!!!!

So off we go.. all back together heading for the Hotel. The kids crashed out as soon as we pulled away from the Cargo place.. I think I may have too if i'm honest.. poor Daz!   We had booked into a hotel for the 1st month because we were waiting for the furniture to arrive.  The company was paying for it and we had chosen one that was fairly close to the House so we could pop up there every now and again.  Infact I had been allowed one air shipment of 'supplies' and that was arriving within the next 10 days. It was mostly kitchen stuff.. we kinda thought it would be good to go to the house nad maybe eat and stuff.  We knew that eating out constantly for a month was gonna wear thin!  Now don't get me wrong if i can get out of cooking I will.. but even I would have been sick of fast food fairly quickly!!!

The hotel was ok.. nowt brillient but it served its purpose and had a pool.. very important.. especially as we had arrived mid July and it was INCREDIBLY hot!!   So basically we arrived and crashed.. MY husband in his wisdom was in the office the very next day so he desperately needed sleep!

So we had arrived and got some sleep.. the next few days were mostly spent finding our feet and recouperating!  The was one huge hurdle that I had to overcome and that was that Daz was flying back to France on the Sunday for a weeks business trip.  I was absolutely dreading it.. it meant that I had to drive for a start!  Also just a few days in a strange country and the weight of responsibility on my shoulders felt massive.  But looking back it really was a baptism of fire.. I HAD to drive, I had to find my way and gain confidence.. which ofcourse i did.  Staying in a hotel helped.. I did feel safer.. I think had I of been in the house on my own I wouldn't have coped nearly as well.

The week went by without hiccups and I was sooo glad to get Daz back!  The month was spent sorting finances, getting me a car, getting utilities switched on in the house etc etc..   I spoke to folks back home mostly via MSN because it would have been massively expensive from the hotel. We did get the phone switched on at the house.. but by the time i'd got to the house somedays from the hotel it was too late to call people.   I got the kids booked into a soccer camp for a week during that month. That was a massive help to me to be honest.  They spent the whole day there so it meant I could crack on and some days I took the opputunity  of sittng by the pool... well I had been working hard!!   Without doubt the 'trailing spouse' does get a rough deal really. Everyone was sorting themselves out, they would be in school soon.. daz was at work.. for me it was about making sure they were all ok... I wasn;t quite sure how things were supposed to pan out for me.  I'm still not really sure!!

Finally we got the call to say that our furniture had arrived and was just being xrayed, it would be with us within a couple of days! YIPEEEEEEEE!  If memory serves me right Daz was away again.. I think just a short business trip somewhere and he was getting back the night the furniture arrived.    It all arrived ok.. the fellas were very good and put all the beds and tables etc together for me... it was brillient to finally have all our stuff... but I knew I had a huge task ahead of me unpacking boxes!!  But to be honest it was going to give me something to do!  Daz called and said he thought it would be better to stay in the hotel that night.. which I was surprised about.. but he thought it would be better to get up to a clear head and get the house together.. so thats what we did.    It was really lovely to finally be in the house I have to say. We had briefly met our neighbours and they seemed really really nice.. so that was a good start.   We checked out of the hotel and was handed a bill for $10,000!!!!!!! OMG!!  But that was for the company to worry about..YIKES!

Most of our weekends were tied up buying stuff for the house.. ofcourse we couldn't bring any electrical stuff so all that had to be bought...  buying a kettle was a task in itself! I eventually did find one... but most shops hadn;t a clue what I was even talking about!!  God i can't go without my tea!!

Chelsea started college mid August.. we all went and dropped her off.. she was really brave.. but then Chelsea isn't easily phased by things! 

And that kinda was our first month.  As i'm writing this 9 months down the line I writing from memory mostly and so much more has (or in some cases hasn't) happened!   The following months consisted of ups and downs of emotions coping with thanksgiving, christmas and a couple of visitors - exploring our area, and venturing slightly further afield.   I think my next blogs will be about where we are here and now.. I will talk about some of the stuff thats happened in between, and how we are today.  Being an Expat, I have found anyway is a Bizarre and unpredictable experiance.  The one saving grace for us without doubt is where we are. California has a lot to offer, obvious (mostly) good weather, and beautiful coastlines and mountains.  The down side is how far from home it is, and the time difference I have found hard to cope with. Sometimes I just wanna pick up the phone in that moment - but can't cos everyone is in noddy land!  I feel quite hopeless somedays and want to go home and then literally within 5 mins i'll be happy about where we are... its a rollercoaster ride of massive proportions.. no mistaking!!!!

So it all started last April (07).. well  a little before that actually..

Hubby and I had felt life had become a little stale.. but I had just begun working in a coffee shop after far too many years at home with the kids. For me life had started to become a little more exciting.. but still.. we had lived in our house for 12 years and things needed changing.  Hubby especially had reached a time in his life/career when he was questioning what to do next. His company was merging with a US company and we weren't sure what that really meant.  Next thing we know, Darrells boss had turned down a job in the US and Darrell put himself forward!   We discussed it a little and just thought well go for the interview and see what happens.  He left for the interview within about 2 weeks of the initial discussions.  The interview was in St. Louis.  At the time I remember thinking "sod it.. yeah go and see what happens"   Well he came back and was very successful at the interview.. the job was virtually his! WOW!    Then we started really talking about it.    The pros the cons etc..  But I remember feeling that we should just do it.. there really wasn't alot of hesitation.. no feeling of what-ifs or buts..  obviously we spoke to the kids and surprisingly they too were up for it, especially Cheslea (17 then) our eldest because it was always her dream to live in America!  Amber (12) and Sam (10) also were excited by it.  We had talked only briefly in past years about France with Daz's job but I would never entertain it.. but this just seemed the right time and the right place.

We were lucky in the fact that Daz could choose between St Louis, Rhode Island or California.  I knew where I wanted to go, but called my sister who has lived in the states for 25 years and asked what she thought. Straight away she said California.. no doubts... she thought it had so much more to offer us than the other options.  So that was that.. decision was made and the ball started to roll..

The Company did all the paperwork for the Visa.. we just supplied the relevant paperwork.. and we began making arrangements for a Recce trip in May.  I researched as much as I could possibly areas within a certain radius of Daz's office.. but to be honest hadn't a scooby doo what I was looking at.. Mostly looking at crime statistics if completely honest.  I got intouch with a couple of Real Estate agents and also spent hours looking at websites for rentals.  Its very difficult though if you have never been to any of the areas!  

Well May came very quickly and I met Daz at LAX (he was there on a business meeting already).  We had 5 days to find an area.. a home and decent schools.  We had been intouch with a great fella called Mark and he had 7 viewing set up for us on the Saturday, all in different areas.

Well what a day that was..  The houses were smaller and dirtier than i could ever of imagined.. i had a dream of a big house and pool.. well you do don't you!!  By the 4th or 5th house I was getting more & more upset... I was losing all hope.  Then we drove to Mission Viejo.. we loved the look of it straight away.. very green and hilly.  The house was on a Gated  Community which for me was great because the need to feel safe was paramount.  Well the house was totally fabulous... twice as big as anything we'd seen.. great view down to the lake and a much much bigger back yard than anything else.  PHEWEEEE!!

We got back to the hotel.. to the Bar of course and discussed our findings over copious amounts of wine!  There really was no doubt that the Mission Viejo house was the one.  But we had one problem, Mark out realtor had gone away that evening and wasn't back til the monday/tuesday.  We wanted THAT house and we wanted to secure it before we left on the Tuesday!!   We left lots of messages for him but no reply.  The next day we drove to Mission Viejo and had a good look around everything.. we were even more impressed!  Mark eventually got back to us and was going to contact the landlord.  On the Monday we went to the local School and College to register our interest and get all the nessercary forms etc.  We had a very tense couple of days waiting to hear from the landlord.. to the extent that I wrote almost a pleading email to him saying we loved his house and we would be great tenants etc etc.  Well it must of worked because 10pm the night before we flew out we got the call to say it was ours!!!   I think what worked in our favour was that the current tenants were also English and they had been very good Tenants... Praise the Lord!!!

So that was the beginning of all that... I'm off to lunch with Hubby now.. back later to continue..... 

I'm Back!... So that was that.. we got on the plane home, with House secured and schools and college picked out.. We had lots of pics of the house and area to show the kids.. and anyone else that was interested frankly!!

I should add at this point peoples reactions to this move.  We started telling people almost immediately about what we were planning.. Mostly because once the decision was made we knew that things would move quickly.. we had a date in July to work towards.. so really from start to finish it was about 3 very short months!!  On the whole I think we got positive feedback.. the normal 'oh your soo lucky.. go for it.. UK is shite'  blah blah blah... Daz's parents were ok about it I guess.. a reasonable response from them.. they were going to miss the kids enormously.. especially my FIL.. he has a great relationship with our son.  My folks were good too, although my Step Mum was a little upset and didn't know how she was going to cope.. but on the whole she has coped!  The worst reaction by far was my best mate.. she was terribly upset, and infact very angry with Daz about it.. I think she still is to a certain degree.  It was a family decision but I think she saw it as a career decision for Daz and we were tagging along so to speak.  Her and my family are very close.. our daughters are bestest friends and have been since they were 5 months old... Her hubby and mine went to nursery school together etc etc... so a long long standing friendship.  She did say that she knew she was being selfish, but was finding it hard to come to terms with.

The next month or so was just all the planning and arranging... most of which I have to say the company did.. I just did the normal household organising and preparations.  Not to make light of that... Jaysus its hard work... I had always dreaded moving house, we had 2 kids since we moved to that house.. 13 years of 'stuff'.. I had to leave work earlier than hoped just to keep on top of the organisation.  Shippers were booked, house was getting packed up, things being cancelled and addresses changed.. it was just list after list after list...!!

We decided to stay in the house once the packers had left with everything... it was ok.. we couldn't take any electrical stuff with us anyway and had bits and bobs of matresses and furniture we weren't taking.  I think we lived like that for 2 weeks.. craziness really!   We had organised a party for the Saturday nite before we left. BIG BIG mistake... we had the party in our house... what on earth were we thinking!?!   Well I think we thought that cos house was virtually empty anyway it wouldn't matter.... got up on the sunday with the most blinding hangover imaginable.. and spent the day clearing up!!!   There was lots of tears at the party but lots of positiveness too.. all in all i'm glad we did it.

Daz's parents were away that weekend which was an absolute blessing.. we could stay there whilst getting the house ready for our new tenants.  Oh I hadn't mentioned that before... we decided not to sell the house - we rented it out.  Luckily we got tenants interested fairly quickly so that was one less worry. I had booked for the house to have a professional clean on the Monday as the tenants were arriving on the Tuesday. We had booked into a hotel for the Monday and Tuesday and our flight was for Wednesday Morning.

Well Monday morning came.. we had the usual last minute dashing around to do.  I got to the house by 9 to meet the cleaners. Well by 9,30 they still weren't there, by 10 they weren't there.. ARRRGGHHHHHH...  I called the company and he said they had broken down and would be there by 11.  All I could think was thank god there coming!  I met them there at 11 and said I'd be back by 1 to see how they were getting on.  The company had told be it was a 5 hour job for a proper professional clean.  When I got back at 1 they were sitting outside having a fag all ready for the off..!!  I went inside and just couldn;t believe my eyes.. my wooden floors actually looked DIRTIER!!  Blinds hadn't been cleaned.. and when I asked her why the downstairs toilet hadn't been done she said 'oh I didn't know that was there'!!!!   WTF??  I then explained that this was a professional house clean.. we were emigrating etc etc... They say they didn't know that.. so I left them with a list of stuff that still needed doing...... I'm somewhat stressed at this point, as you can inagine!!       So off Daz and I go to check into the Hotel.. Laiden with 12 suitcases we arrived at a local hotel... well when they showed us the rooms (needed 2) I swear to god I could have punched someone... they were awful.. infact so small that u couldn't open the doors properly.  So this is where we will spend our last 2 nites..??   I was beside myself.  Bless Daz;s heart though, he took me by the hand and took me to the bar for a drink... He called Hanbury Manor, which is a VERY expensive hotel 2 mins from our house and got us booked in there.  He said he'd put it on expenses.. there was no way we could stay at the other hotel.

So I go back to the house to again check on the progress of pikey's i'd left in charge of cleaning my house.  SHITE,  total and utter SHITE.  Told 'em to bugger off.  So for the next 3 hours i spent on my hands and knees cleaning.  Mostly in tears I have to say... it was awful. And I might add not ONE bugger came to my rescue!!!  My best friend stayed well away... I think she was dealing with her own emotional crisis but still.....   Anyway.. got it done and handed over the keys to the agent.  It was tough closing the door on that house... but i think because i knew we hadn't sold it, made it easier. (btw.. I didn't pay the cleaning company!!)

We spent a wonderful night at Hanbury.. was just the Tonic i needed.. oh no wait that was a Vodka Tonic!!!   The kids were still going to school... they wanted to see their friends right up to the end... so they actually finished on the Tuesday. That worked well actually.. meant that we could run around and get stuff done.

Our last night was awful.. our best friends and daz's parents came up.  We just sat and had a drink in the bar, knowing that the time was fast approaching to say good bye.  Which ofcourse it did... lots and lots of tears.. but to be honest for us it was filled with excitement and trepidation... for them it was just emptiness.

Had a mega sleep that night and was up silly early for the taxi.. I say Taxi i really mean VAN that turned up for us.. 5 of us, 12 cases and oh I didn't mention Freddie.. the dog!

Everything went smoothly.. got Freddie checked in.. got us checked in... and off we flew to LAX and our new lives.....