I cut my finger badly today at work, God I'm so stupid!  it was my own fault, I was beeing too quick, too eager to please and to do a good job. My bosses have had a real run of bad luck lately, and I empathise with them so much, they are lovely people. They had some solicitor's coming round this morning to do with a health and safety issue, and I cut my finger 5 minutes before they arrived,

I was so scared of telling my boss, its all he needed today, another injury, I felt so guilty. Anyway I wrapped it up straight away in some blue kitchen towel that and squeezed as hard as I could, I kept re-wrapping it, but it was oozing and oozing. If it had been anyone else I could have bandaged it and gone to A&E. God I'm so stupid! I went through 6 large plasters (after I thought it had eased).  My boss then found me and asked me to do a quick check around the works, you know, for trailing wires, or any other obvious hazards, which I did, then realised how much blood there was on the floor! I put my gloves on and it was throbbimg! Anyway, we got through it, I had to leave before they did, I really hope it went OK for them. My finger could do with scabbing up, it's just re-opening when I bend it and still bleeding badly.  I'm off work tomorrow, so I think I'll put a proper dressing on it before bed. What a numpty I am!

No matter how tough and brave I think I'm being, little things are really gtting to me.  I've put on a stone in weight in the last six months, I'm drinking too much (most nights) I think I'm coping but I'm not.

No.1 child is being really clingy, she's not wanting me to leave her? No 2 is convinced someone is going to break in and take me away (I should be so lucky) and asks whether I would stab them!  If I say no she's frightened they will get in n snatch me, then if I say that I would stab them, she's worried I'd get put in prison! (It's a lose lose situation), and No.3 is just being really naughty - not doing as she's been told, arguing with me etc.She's normally so good. Maybe its me...lets be honest ..it probably is. I must cut them some slack!

It's nice to see postings of so many applications that are getting CO's - yep they're all CSL applicants, I shouldn't be jealous but I am.   I'm sick of people asking me when we're going, I sigh and just say "yep we're still waiting to hear"! as cheerily as I can.

Sorry about this winge, just getting it out of my system.

No.2 has here follow up eye appointment at the hospital tomorrow morning. I'm really looking forward to spending an hour or two with number 2 - I might take her somewhere for lunch if she's a good girl - God I hope she doesn't have to wear a patch!  I'm looking forward to school holiday's too. Jeese I love the little monkey's so much - I need to stop wishing the time away and enjoy our time together more, life is what happens when you're making other plans n all that right?