A council estate raised British city girl trying to make it in rural Canada

We have royalty coming to visit lol

Well kind of. Through the awesome place that is BE, many moons ago there were a couple of lovely ladies who joined around about the same time as me.

TV's were in black and white, kids played with wooden circles and used polystyrene cups as phones.

But that didn't stop us, we whipped our children into shape to cycle enough electricity to get us internet connection, and waalaa - Clematis (that wasn't her user name back then ;)) and The4Bells and moiself kinda hookedup. A bit like plenty of fish but without the sex and crap profile pictures.

Actually it really was about 5 years ago. Much has happened to all three of us since the early days of researching the big move. 4Bells ended up in Vancouver, and whilst Clematis did  move to Ontario, situations and events occurred, and she sadly went back to the UK last year.

We've always kept in touch (pretty much every day actually!!!!) and this year (well right now actually) Clematis decided to do a whistle stop tour of Canada, West to East - visiting her old drinking buddies (yes we all got together back in 2008!!!).

4$Bells and some of the Vancouver posse (yo shout out to the Westside lol) got the pleasure of MissC's visit last week, and she is as we speak (well not RIGHT now as she has stopped in Kamloops for the night) on the last bits of her long drive from Vancouver to Calgary, taking in some amazing sights, getting some great photos and defying life and limg with forest and boat fires. (You had to be there. Well, she was, but .............. oh whatever you get the picture. She actually did.)

I meet her at noon on Thursday at Calgary airport, from there we go to visit the awesome Mr Steve-P (whom I have to say I adore!) for a quick cuppa, then it's down to Lethbridge for a banging girls night out with some others expats. I of course will fly against tradition and not drink loads, because Friday I  want to take C to waterton - see if we can get some of those pesky bears on filum. Then its around an 6 hour drive from Waterton back home to our place where we have a fun filled week (and hopefully nice weather) ahead.

You'd think it would be a nice relaxing couple of days then eh, I mean - Darcy comes home Wednesday everything is ship shape here. But no.

At the minute Darcy is working on what's called a pad rig. I can't remember if I explained before or not - but a pad rig can actually 'walk' itself to its next location. So they don't need to tear it out and haul it by road, that why his rig has worked through spring break. you ever heard of the phrase "where we're going, you don't need roads?" Well that applies to a pad rig. And there's a bejillion holes to drill in a relatively small radius. So lots of work for a long time up there.

On that basis Darcy and a mate decided to rent a condo, rather than stay in a hotel for their 2 week hitch, even paying for it when they are at home, it's still cheaper than renting a hotel room. So a while back I took the enclosed trailer with some furniture up and they got settled. However, some of the guys on the other crew (their opposite crew actually - ie when Darcy and his buddy are on nights, these other guys are on the day shift) have a house wih 2 spare rooms. So Husb and his mate (Church) are moving in there. It works out about $300 a month less than renting the condo which is awesome, but this means then, tomorrow (their moving day) I have to drive up to Lloyd with the trailer and we have to move all their furniture out. Lloyd is about a 3 1/4 hour drive from here when you are hauling somethig, apparently 2 hrs 30 when you're not lol.

I'll do this after i've been to the bottle depot, as the enclosed trailer is full of bottles which need to be returned.

Will come back home Wednesday morning when Darcy goes to work for his last shift. He wants to get the deck boards screwed down when he gets home on Wednesday evening - I have no idea where he finds the energy!!!!!

But still thats the plan for the next few days, and it will be fun :)

Donkey donks

Aren't we the lucky ones, 2 entries in one week - on a roll I tell you, on a roll.

Thought today warranted and entry - so you're getting one.

Picked up uncle Kellys stock trailer yesterday. Although uncle Kelly wasn't there and neither me, nor auntie Chris nor cousin Cait had the foggiest idea how to attach the thing to the truck. Luckily i'd taken 2 balls for the hitch as I wasn't sure what size their trailer was.

Miraculously one fitted. Auntie Chris said as I was driving off "be careful the top rear door has a tendancy to come open"

What? Are you kidding me. Great.

The trailer is old and very heavy, so driving home i'm watching the road most of the time, the rear view mirror lots of the time, and the fuel guage all of the time. Blimey - you can see the guage moving down as you stomp on the pedal to get enough speed to get up a hill. :(

Managed to tow it home, and, full of the joys of me being great, was looking forward to waking up today, loading the extra cedar planks into the trailer, dropping it off at Home Depot, swapping it for 8ft planks (which will then fit in the bed of the truck, then driving onwards to collect the donkeys. Oh happy days.

Except when they are not.

Woke up this morning and it was pissing it down. Seriously raining. Marvellous. Threw on some waterproofs and went outside to stack the 12ft planks that needed to go back. Opened the back of the trailer and ............

WTF

There's 6ft of space in it, the rest is taken up with a feediing station sectioned off, so you can put hay for your animals whilst in transit. Now, I'm no rocket scientist, but even I know, whichever way you try them, 12ft planks aren't going in there.

Undeterred, but soaking wet by this time - I decide to put the planks in the bed of the truck facing upwards, and tarp / rachet strap them down.

Like this.

That should work.

Apart from when it doesn't.

I get half an hour down the road, and via the constant checking in the mirrors, I see the straps are coming loose, the tarp is flying everywhere and the boards are slipping.

F**K this shit. The roads are wet through, it's windier than hell and at my current speed i'll get to the city next Tuesday.

I turn around and go home.

After unloading all the planks (read - grumpily throwing them off the truck onto the deck), I head off again. Feeling a bit safer, although the weather was still shitty.

45 mins into the journey a car is flashing me. Oh great, what now.

"Your rear top door is open" He says as we both come to a stop. Me now smiling and thanking the guy embarrasingly, is also thinking - great I have to turn off this road i'm blocking, iinto a side road and secure the doors, which means reversing the truck and trailer back onto the highway. Something which I have never done before.

I remembered watching a show on tv that said when reversing with a trailer- turn the steering wheel the direction you don't want the trailer to go.

It worked!!!!!! And I saved my ass from looking very stupid by neatly reversing round a corner and back on my merry way.

I enjoyed doing it so much that I did it again, Twice, as I completely missed the turning (twice) to the donkey mans house :)

Finally got there at 6 (after setting off right at the start at 3pm!!!!!) and felt happy to be stationary. He showed me the donkeys (he has loads - all very friendly and very very cute). Said yup - i'll take em. He wanted me to take another but I said no - 2 is enough KTHXBAI.

Loading the donkeys was funny, they are so small that if they don't want to get into the trailer you just pick up their legs and shove them in - awesome - couldn't do that with a horse!!!!!

So loaded and ready to go, I reverse the trailer in his yard (this is now my favourite trick and am contemplating driving all the way home backwards) and head home. Twice on the way back the doors opened (not I hasten to add the main doors - or they'd be donkeys all over the road) just the top swing doors, but I was watching in the side mirrors periodically, and caught it as it happened.

When I turned down onto our gravel road I was so bloody relieved to be on the home stretch I could have cried. Next time we do this Darcy can leave me his big ass truck and he can take my little one. You could feel every pull and bump in the road AND I had to stop and get gas on the way back - what the hell - I'd used a full tank going 200 kms. Mental note to self - if we buy a stock trailer - don't get one thats made of solid lead.

Drove up into our pasture, and opened the doors to the trailer so the donkeys could see thier new abode. I was happy to see them still standing after the journey, although was half expecting carnage in the back. They fell out of the trailer as soon as the doors opened more or less, and as soon as they hit the ground they started eating. There's a lot of grass there so we'll have to limit their "out' time. As they'll get fat and donkeys don't burn off the energy very well.

All in all then, not too bad a journey. The donkeys (Smokey and Bandit) are happy, super friendly and home.

Took the dogs up to the pasture to introduce them, Rumble nearly had a heart attack and couldn't make his mind up whether he should bark, growl, run around or whine. Tango just hid as soon as he saw them.

The status quo will work out, and I think if Rumble tries to chase them he'll be in for a shock.

Smokey on the left, Bandit on the right. Not sure what their colouring is as they have their winter coats, but thats irrelavent. Will get them gelded in the Autumn (they are only 9 months old and its best apparently to do them around 1 and when there are no bugs around - so I reckon October should do it.

Feet need trimming so will be contacting a farrier, also need to buy a couple of halters in foal size (awwwwwwww), some mineral block and deworm them. Pretty simple keepers, will try and train them to carry a pack so they can have some work to do around here. If not I think they will just get very fat from food and love.

Ready to drop lol

The whirlwind has gone back to work. My legs, back, shoulders, toenails breathe a sigh of relief.

No no no its not from too much strenuous sex, well it might be, but no it's not.

If there were 48 hours in each day, he'd use all of them. Me? probably about 10% if i'm honest and half of that would be smoking and drinking coffee!

With the exterior things on the house being done - it was dun dun duuuuuuuun - time to build the deck. I always get excited when we do stuff like this, because when it's done it looks cool - but the process is normally a "fuck you' match of lost tempers and short fuses (mainly mine because I always think i'm right, then it turns out i'm not - again lol)

It was my job to calculate how many cedar decking planks we would need, and to check that Home Depot stocked them. So I did - but made one teensy little mistake (well actually it wasn't really my mistake it was Darcys) you see when we built the frame for the deck he put the joists on 16" centres when code is 24". He wanted to make it super strong. So I calculated the lengths for staggering the joints and we worked out that it would fit in our enclosed trailer if HD sold 14ft lengths (and some 8's and 10's) (can you see the mistake yet? - see how long it takes to work it out).

I call HD "yup we have loads of cedar deck boards at 14ft long"

"awesome we'll be in tomorrow to get them"

So off we go. Get to HD lo and fucking behold no - they don't do 14ft, they do 6 - 8 - 10 - 12 and 16's.

So I lose it on the sales guy because after a quick recalculation of the design we can use 16's - but our trailer is only 14ft long. No worries - we do what a good redneck does and bodge it with 2ft hanging out the back and rachet straps holding the door together. There were people passing us on the highway shaking their heads as they drove by lol.

We get home, unload all the wood - lay the boards out and

wait for it

yup

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE GODDAM KIDDING ME" (that was Darcy not me)

"What?"

"16's won't work will they"

"Why - they should they are longer than 14's"

(here it comes)

"The ends don't line up with the joists so we can't screw them all down - I thought I asked you to work it out?"

"errrrrrr - ummmmmmm - shit"

"FFS"

"Don't f******g swear at me - you did the 16" centres instead of the 24, if you;d have done it properly they'd have fitted" (that was a feeble attempt at shifting the blame on my part I have to say).

Anyway - we finally worked it out and I just have to return some 12ft lengths and get 8ft ones on Saturday - which as luck would have it I am taking a stock trailer through the city to collect some miniature donkeys we decided to buy :) Kill 2 birds with one stone!

Now buying donkeys isn't an everyday occurance really is it - it's not like  - "mmmmm what do we need, bread? milk? cheese? donkeys - ooh shit nearly forgot those bad boys."

We have a large pasture and catch pen that we used to keep the steers in, but seeing as they are now in the freezer and steers are on my "list of animals never to own again ever" the pasture grass was / is getting a bit long. So we run off a list of suitable animals and donkeys seem to fit the bill.

So I call a guy who has 2 yearling miniatures for sale - do some wheeling and dealing - and bingo - they belong to us as of Saturday (their names are Amos and Andy - we'll change those as they are stupid). I'm a little shitting myself at taking the stock trailer all that way actually but nothing venture nothing gained I suppose. I could get a sign made up that says "Yes I am a woman, yes I am blonde, and no I can't tow trailer - feel free to flip me the bird as you pass by due to my erratic and dangerous road useage"

 I was even toying with the idea of putting the donkeys on the back seat of my truck - bloody hell they only stand 30" at the shoulder - Rumble's bigger than that - decided against it in case they crap on the upholstery. I'll post some pics of the donkeys and the deck (not together - its not like i'm tying them up outside the doors or anything) on Saturday.

The other thing we did this week was go pick up the new holiday trailer.

I won't be towing it. It's on Darcy list of "things the wife shouldn't touch" which includes the propane powered flame thrower, the air nailer, chainsaws and now the holiday trailer. The thing snakes like you wouldn't believe so we need to take it in and get more stabaliser bars put on it.

It's a toy hauler so the rear door folds down and its got a 10ft garage in it so you can take quads and bikes and stuff when you go away. When you are not using the garage there are 2 electric beds that come down from the roof - one of which converts into an extra dining table which seats 8. The trailer in total will sleep 8 people but its unlikely we'll have that many in there ever lol.

we are off camping for a week out west at the beginning of july so she'll get her first outing. I've already downloaded some killer choons to blast out through the speakers of its sound system to annoy all the other campers with.

Result :)

Going back in time - some history!

When Duck is away at work for his 2 week shift, my emotions go like this

1st day away - Hell yeah freedom, peace and quiet, can stay in my pj's all day

Next few days - getting on with the 'to do' list of things around here

The last week - I'm a sad faced mardy arsed bitch because I really miss him.

As we've hit stage 3 and, as usual i'm awake at stupid o'clock cos I can never sleep well when he isn't here - I was reminscing with myself about how we got together and the circumstances.

I also thought - i'll share it here too - for prosperity like !!!!

It's a long one so hold on lol

Back in the UK I was living with my ex, he was the one who had decided that he wanted to move to Canada, and did I want to go with him. Well seeing as we were a couple that's the kind of thing you do right - you don't say "nah - i'm good, you enjoy yourself".

So we moved - him on a twp and me on a spousal open work permit.

We arrived, and he was working, I got a job in a bank (which I made some of the greatest friends ever and still have them). You start to have niggly doubts about things not being quite right with the relationship , but I put this down to the move.

6 months in he decides he hates his job and wants a transfer to another location. I'm 99% certain by this time that wherever he goes he'll always be chasing something he'll never find, so for once i said "no i'll stay here in Drumheller - I have a good job which I am not going to give up on another whim for you to be happy. If something comes up there - then i'll move up" It was my turn to take a bit of a stand instead of being a follower and allowing someone else to make my decisions for me. Well thats a bit wrong - I was given the option to move to Canada - but that, looking back, was more of an ultimatum - he would have come here anyway - with or without me.

So he moved 3 hours north, and I stayed - going up to see him at weekends. He was very distant and it got to a stage where the end of the weekend visits were a bit of a blessing and I looked forard to going back home to Drumheller. We'd argue and have nothing much in common, it was a strain just being in each others company.

Eventually (and I could see it coming if i'm honest) he ended the relationship. We had been in Canada for 9 months.

So i'm thinking - wow here is me, in a strange country - totally alone. Wth the support of my buddies I had come to the decision to work in Canada long enough to apply through the experience class stream, and when that time came decide whether I wanted to stay - or to go back to the UK. This was in August of 2008.

This was MY time, my wake up call, my "you're on your own now kid, sink or swim'. And you can bet your boots I was going to swim. I was hellbent that no man would ever have me running doe eyed after him again. I was either going to make a succes of Canada - or have a good time and go back to the UK and be a better person for it. I wasn't really bothered either way tbh.

I was a financial services manager at BMO, and my job meant sitting behind a desk, browsing BE and Facebook whilst randomly investing sums of money / opening accounts etc etc.

One day one of my customers (a girl called Cindy) had asked me straight out of I was single. A bit taken aback I had said yes recently why. She said "you totally need to meet my brother, you are lovely"

Course I politely refused and laughed like a hyena all the way home that night. Another man - are you kidding me - I'd rather become a laboratory rat than even consider another relationship, what with my crappy track history.

I'll admire her persistance. For 3 days on the trot she came to see me, each time saying things like "you really ought to meet him" or "my brothers home this week, he'd love to meet you"

In the end I gave up and said ok - with the reasoning being at least i've expanded my limited network of friends a bit and the company would be good - I was absolutely adamant mind you, that there would be no 'romantic' involvement.

So we messaged on FB for about 3 weeks, and I gradually came to realise that not all guys are as jerkish as the ones I'd met before. This guy was lovely - the conversations never once got round to sex - which is unusual for a guy right, and he was so nice and thoughtful,we eventually exchanged phone numbers, and began talking. We did the all night phone conflabs and all that fun stuff - and I was actually getting really excited to one day meet this super nice guy. I mean, I knew what he looked like and everything but you never know until you meet someone right?

Then it happened.

On a Tuesday night he called me - "Hey it's my sons birthday party at the weekend, would you like to come?"

Me - "umm gimme 5 i'll call you back"

Well of course I (after a quick visit, glass of wine and a conflab with a friend to reaffirm what I was about to say) said thanks but no thanks, citing the reasons as "its your sons party, all your family will be there, we've never met, it would be very awkward all around"

Him as quick as a flash said "Well, i'm driving down to Calgary on Friday morning, i'll come through Drumheller, i'll come and meet you before work, then we can say we've met, and then you can come to the party right?"

I have never been taken that much off guard - and I doubly wasn't expecting this from Darcy, as during our coversations in the past, I'd gathered he is a bit shy.

What could I say other than "eeeeeer ok!"

The thursday morning he had a boquet of 12 roses delievered to my work with the note that says "have a great day"

OMG this guy is freakin awesome - the girls at the bank were jealous hahahahaha and I felt really special for the first time in years.

so we met, I went to the party, met all his family and his son, and from that moment on we were, and still are, inseperable.

We were married on April 10th 2010.

We do everything together (well when he's here lol) we have the same interests, the same personalities (although he is very shy and quiet when in public) and we compliment each other perfectly. His family have become my family and I thank whoever looks down on me every day for finally allowing me to meet the person that I've always known was out there, but was rapidly losing hope in ever finding.

(He also feels the same way btw - just thought i'd throw that in there as it is a bit one sided hahahahaha!)

We have many good things in our relationship (nudge nudge) but my favourite is that we support each other on the negative aspects of our personalities. We have both grown as people since being together.

I can be very lazy at times, moody (well i'm a woman!) and insecure. - He is always on the go and inspires me to be like him, when i'm moody he says nothing - just allows me to get it out, and thats perfect - thats exactly how i need to be handled - he doesn't yell or scream or bitch or whine - he just walks away and is ready with a hug when I need it. He lets me be me, I have found who I am as a person more so in the last 4 1/2 years due to him allowing and encouraging me to BE me than I ever have.

On the flip side, he has more confidence now, more self esteem, he used to buy things to gain peoples adoration, now he doesn''t do that - because he has learned you don't need people to like you for what you have, just for what and who you are.

We have both said that without each other we would be totally lost, although both agreed that we met at totally the right time in our lives.

And he is amazing and I love him more than life itself

xxxx

Happy anniversary

LO

I logged on to do an entry because it's been a while, now i'm sat here thinking - hmmmmm mind blank.

Most peoples blogs have a theme, bad cakes, horses that are naughty, cute dogs, bdsm whatever. Expats do online diaries about the trials and tirbulations of the move - how super wonderful everything is, how strange Canadians are, oooooh look it snowing again.

Then it stops. Because it fizzles into mundane triviality of life and it's neither new and exciting for the reader or the writer.

I might change the way this blog is to make it interesting and about something - you know, more for my benefit, so I can actually think about something interesting to put. I'm selfish like that.

Problem here is everythings been done already, bad cakes, naughty horses, etc etc so while I wait for inspration i'll fill ya in on the last few weeks of mundane triviality.

Still waiting for ppr from Buffalo ( I say that like it's a foregone conclusion - who wouldn't want me right!) I did something on Sunday I said I'd never do - I sent them a begging email. Of course its pointless I know that - and yes of course it's going to slow their production rate down by the 5 seconds it took them to read it, but it's getting to the stage where even a reply saying "f*** off we'll contact you when you when we are ready" is exciting.

It was mine and ducks 2 wedding anniversary last week (yay go us) and we spent the day picking up the new recliners for the basement and looking at holiday trailers.

Then we bought one. I wouldn......................... jesus h f*****g christ a spider just ran across my neck. I thought it was a random piece of hair so I just wafted it and something hit the wall. Now thats either some hefty dandruff with 8 legs or a blood sucking hairy insect.

Now I can't see it on the floor, so I reckon its gone to tell it's spider mates and there'll be thousands of em, 8 legging it in this direction soon. awesome

K the trailer - I would have been good with some flowers, but apparently you can't camp in those so I took one for the team. We knew this year we'd get a new one, as our old (read Robert Stevenson invented it) trailer is probably not safe for road usage (one of the axles broke on the way back from a trip along with a list of other things).

The options are - bumper hitch (where you attach it to a hitch on your bumper - self explanitory) or 5th wheel (where you have a contraption like the hgv trucks have, but bolted in the bed of your truck so the front of the trailer actually sits over the box).

5th wheels are somewhat safer to tow, can come in huge sizes, are bloody expensive and would mean Darcy would have to take the fuel tank tool box out of the back of his truck (which he needs for work when he goes somehwere remote).

We finally decided to look at bumper hitch toy haulers (won't bore you why but they work for us and our lifestyle) and after a few months culminating in a visit to an rv place we found the one for us.

As soon as we looked inside Darcy said to the guy "we'll take it". I instantly felt sick because I was bought up with second hand Xmas presents, 30 year old ford cortinas and nothing really was ever new in our family. We were pretty poor and very working class. (I still am :) )

So at that point - thinking about the leather recliners we'd just bought, the trailer we'd just bought, the house renos that are going on, I started getting buyers remorse.

I got over it.

So here she is

We pick it up thursday 26th.

I'll take some pics when we get it - the downside is that this thing is nearly 34ft long and I think has a loaded weight of 13000lbs, which dictates my truck doesn't have a hope in hell of pulling it.

Come to think of it I can't even steer the quad with the trailer on the back so i'm guessing Darcy will say "don't even attempt to tow this babe".

We are the champions

Today I had loads of things I was meant to do. And I really mean loads, loads as in "oh god I don't want to get up cos i've got loads to do' - type of loads. :(

Theres 5 million tools and stuff up here that need going back in the shed (in the right drawers - Darcy has OCD!!), wood that needs putting away, ceilings to texture in the basement, the landmines (read doggie crap) to clear in the yard, dust the whole house, go to the dump to dump the drywall that came off the wall the other day, clean the windows, sand the drywall repairs in the living room by the french doors that replaced a window - and pretty much ad infinitum.

See why I didn't want to get up? I even tried to not go to bed so I didn't have to get up, thats how much there is!

When I did get up (around 7am after managing to stay awake til 4am lol) the phone rang.

A call at 7am sunday morning is like a call at 3am any other time. You look at the phone. Who could this be at this time. Oh god please don't let it be bad news (I always worry about Darcy on the rigs). So you stand there, still looking at the phone in the vain hope that you'll telepathically know who it is and what it's for - so you don't have to answer it.

I answered it. It was Nana.

"Hey Mand, Maddi (Darcys, and now by default my, neice) won her hockey games Friday and Saturday, and now they are in the semi this morning and if they win the finals this afternoon. You wanna come?"

I had one of those moments. Like an "aooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh" (picture angels shining from clouds at this point) moment.

"You bet your boots I want to come - wouldn't miss this for the world, (oh no, I'll not have to do all my loads of stuff - what an absolute kick in the teeth that is) what time?"

"Can you be at ours for 10am"

"already leaving, see you in a bit..................... ;)"

So thats what I did today. Skived off and went to watch hockey. They won, both games. Ponoka Stampeders Atom B team are now provincial champions, and my neice (a very very good goalie) won MVP (most valuable player) in the final too. The result was 7-6, and my stick on nails got chewed off (which is a false economy because you try and bite a false nail and its not the same as chewing your own).

Then the team and parents went back to a local hall, ordered in loads of pizza and beer and celebrated, and for once I didn't take my camera and I got to watch and enjoy the game like a proper spectator :0)

Heres a pic stolen from sis in law that she took on her Iphone. TBH it's that far off in the distance I could have posted  a pic of the Edmonton Oilers or something, and you wouldn't know the difference, but take my word for it - it's the Stampeders, and the banner in the middle tells you they won the Provncials. Trust me, it really does.

I had a couple of beers with everyone and came home (remember 4 hours sleep last night), so am now writing this blog and thinking "Shit, I've got loads to do tomorrow".

NEVER...............

Have a cunning plan without at least 3 maybe 4 backup cunning plans.

Tore down the drywall on the dividing wall - yay that went to plan!

Realised that inside the wall where the electrical is, that it's a bit - well - buggered for what I had planned. No problem - this is covered in the 'cunning' part of the plan. Uncle Ken is coming out this morning and he can fix it.

This is where it goes a bit tits up.

By 10am uncle Ken isn't here. Hmmmmm weird. WTF is he playing at  so call his house and his wife (who we'll call Auntie Laurie - because that's her name) explains that due to the weather / roads / astrological alignment and whatever the f**k else - Ken won't be coming today. But he'll call when it picks up a bit.

That's no shitting good, I have a half tore down wall with electrical gubbins poking out and no goddam way to fix it. He was supposed to be here, he was - after all - the main part of the cunning plan.

SHIT

So we got to this stage

Ever undaunted I have two options - ask on BE for suggestions or drink myself stupid.

The BE questions got the expected response (the better resoponse would have been - here let me wave my magic wand and fix it remotely for you - but that never came you useless lot) so, ready with a bottle of Captain Morgans in hand I'm moaning to some good friends on Crackbook.

Remeber those brainstorming sessions that were ever so popular at work in the 80'sand 90's? A group of likeminded women on Facebook works the same way - with a bit more swearing.

After a 10 minute conversation and some stellar ideas from the girls we now (thankfully) have a plan B - and i'm not even drunk yet - bonus :)

Just move the outlets to a safe place and still take down the wall :) Well thats easy - Darcy has more tools than Canadian Tire - I can find exactly what I need (proper tools are wicked btw - long gone are the days of using a stiletto as a hammer and a butter knife as a screwdriver).

Reciprocating saw / big hammer / 18v cordless drill at the ready we (and I mean me with the ivisible help of ma crew ;) ) get to this stage

So i'll clean up and am totally happy to leave it at this stage til Ken does show up. That should probably say IF Ken shows up - but we are at least past a point of no return that if it doesn't get fixed by the time Darcy gets home - well it's too late to put it back now :)

This entry then - is dedicated to my little nest of vipers - you know who you all are :)

pics of the outside as promised - and a cunning plan ;)

You know when people add blog updates as though they are talking to the whole world - and the whole world actually cares???? Well I'm gonna do that now.

Because I think you all (and I say all meaning probably some random browsers that come by every 6 months when they have finished cleaning their toilets with toothbrushes because they really are that bored) would like to see the progress.

But before I do that I have to tell you about a cunning plan.

The inside of the house has a weird layout - it's kind of open plan, ie heres no doors to the living room just a 4ft wide gap (which is a bit weird) that leads to some sort of entry way to where the front door USED to be, and the other way to the kitchen. So that little alcove is a bit of a non entity now. I wanted to build built in desk area for all the computer stuff but hubby didn't like that idea. So now I', a bit mad because my cool living room is scuppered as is my cool built in.

So in a bit I am going to take a sledge hammer and knock one side of the wall out. Darcy went back to work on Wednesday so he's not even here to say no - GENIUS :)

The painful bit is the other half of the wall (the bit that makes the 4ft gap) has a vent in it so I can't knock that down :(

Now - the bit I am going to demolish has 2 electrical sockets in - but wait (this is where the ABSOLUTE genius bit comes in) Uncle Ken has located 5 pieces of siding in the colour we need - so is coming tomorrow to finish it off - and while he's here i'm going to say "OMG Ken I knocked down this wall and TOTALLY forgot there were plug ins, and I don't know how to move them :( can you do it pleeeeeeeease???"

That's brilliant isn't it!!!!!!

So In about 10 mins I am whipping over to sis in laws to drop off some stuff, then when I come back - IT'S HAMMER TIME yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will obviously take pics of before during and after, and maybe of hubbys face when he gets home :)

For now here's before and after of the house

Before (obviously, if this was after i'd be pissed)

After :) There's going to be a 2 level deck going on the front - can't do a wrap around deck because on the two sides of the house at the bottom are the windows for the basement - and a deck covering those would block out what little light there is down there. Darcy also said (after the event) "hmmm we should have put French doors on the other side too so we could walk out of our bedroom onto the deck, and maybe a small window where the front door was"

Now I'm not one to say I told you so - but..................... I bloody well suggested that when we were planning this whole thing and he said "NO". It's like he thnks I have no taste lol

Before I post pics of the before and after of the back - I'll explain why I don't put my foot down with some of the reno things. when Darcy was in a previous relationship apparently (and I say apparently because I only have his / his families side of the story) his ex and the mother of his child, was a bit of a lazy cow, and Darcy - aside from working all hours godsend - had to get another job in his week off to pay for all the stuff that she used to go out and spend. And as quite a meek person he just let it happen, until one day he said "enough is enough" and she didn't like it. So they sold their house in the height of the boom in Calgary and she walked away with a pretty penny.

Darcy used his bit wisely and put a big downpayment on this house. He was also adamant that he would never live with someone else again (until super me breezed onto the scene hahahahaha). So I am very aware that he had only had his moment of freedom for a short while (he lived with his sister for 2 years before he bought this while he was looking) and had only had it 6 months before I moved in. I do not under any circumstances want him to think his life is being ruled by some needy lazy ass, and as he has worked so had to get ths place I don't want to take that away from him (apart from nocking down a wall lol).

He doesn't mind that I can't work right now until my visa comes through as there is so much to do around here, it kind of works that I have the time to do the renos too and look after the yard and everything that comes with acreage living. And I like doing this so it works beautifully :)

Anyhoo - before and afters of the back :) (well I should say after and before because the pictures went in the wrong way round hahahaha)

Pain in the ...........

S'done innit :) Well sort of nearly, we're 3 pieces short. Now, I could say, to Uncle Ken (builder / guy who ordered the materials, provided expertise blah blah) wtf are you playing at, you should know after 31 years in the business how much a square box would take to cover.

But  won't, I'll probably just think it, and wait patiently for 3 weeks until the rest comes in. (But its fine, its round the back thats not finished and no-one sees that from the road anyway haw haw haw).

You know when people limp around, moaning that they have bad backs, and wincing every time they breathe, and you think to yourself "get a grip, stop being such a pigging martyr and suck it up." I'll let you into a secret - it hurts. I must've done something yesterday whe we were moving scaffolding planks, because I swear to god (or whoever) I breathe/ look up / down / laugh / try and bend / stretch / sit / laugh - the normal day to day things, and I'm one of those people I can't stand. It's like "ooohhh, aaargggggh f*** this hurts.

So today when Ken and Darcy were finishing off little bits, fixing wiring in the basement, i'm trying to get sympathy from the dogs (not having any of it btw) so I just pottered around the house going "argggh" "oooooh" every time someone was near so it didn't look like I was being lazy :)

Nana and Papa were a huge help, Ken is nanas brother, and we had another uncle phone to see if we needed a hand - and favourite Uncle Kelly turned up for 2 days too (thats papas brother!) Cue loads of swearing, loads of laughing and loads of rum  lol. At the end (oooh shit I just sneezed and it hurt - legit) of the day yesterday Uncle Kens nickname was Hitler and we were exhausted :)

Now can I say something not very nice about my hubby so you know the basement is being done yeah? The outside is 50% complete (still need deck) and what is now the living room will be like a sitting room or whatever, that you can walk out onto the deck - or as Darcy would call it "The Hen Pen" cos he has his man cave downstairs. Awesome I get a hen pen, a girly chill out room which I can decorate to my hearts content in girly things and cool stuff (in contrast to dead animals and guy things downstairs  - not that I think thats not cool - but whatever) but no, what does my wonderful hubby do.....................

In the living room of older houses (so i'm told) there are no light fixtures on the ceiling (genius whoever thought up that little plan - knob) so i'm planning on a cool black light oval fixture with crystal droplets and it would look awesome, walls painted in light grey - I have the vision, and its good, and i'm happy.

Thursday he's away getting some random bits we need for the outside of the house and he turns up with a box, "Hey babe I got the lights for the living room!"

"The what    .....?"

"The lights, for the living room - cool eh!"

"I'm sorry I didn't quite get that, I thought you said you'd bought lights for the living room?"

"Yeah I did - pot lights, 4 of them, decided on the 4" white ones and a dimmer switch too, they'll look cool eh!"

"yeah - if you're in a doctors waiting room"

So I storm off with the ump with full intentions of taking the whole shooting match back to the shop at the earliest opportunity.

BUT NO, that plan is scuppered, because darling, dearest, no goddam taste in interior design hubby, drilled 4 f*****g holes in the ceiling this morning while I was outside having a ciggy.

And I AM PISSED.

Thats his way of saying " don't like your idea of sparkly black shit, so i'll do my own thing when you're not looking."

Of course he doesn't realise that the ceilings are not as white as they were when they were first done - so cheap white (with a black insert no less - oh f*****g yes) against not so white is going to look real good eh. It'll need painting, and the living room kitchen, hallway etc is somewhat open plan so the whole lot will need doing. And he can do it. Can't even change the cover to a brushed nickel or something a bit more cool - cos the idiot has snapped the covers on and they won't come off.

So sorry hubby, I hate the lights, seriously with a passion can't stand em, am laying on the couch looking up at 4 horrible holes that will be filled with 4 horrible lights and my super cool scheme is out the window.

Bollocks (that hurt when I said that out loud just now)

Oh ps i'll post some pics soon of the progress xxx

Dead flies.

Its exciting cos in 2 days we start getting the windows and siding in.

Back in England the way you changed the colour of your house was to paint it rght? and then it was really only cool if you lived in one of those quaint little rainbow coloured ones by the sea.

Here we can buy plastic strips in whatever colour we want and bish bash bosh, jobs done :)

As I mentioned earlier in this blog - hubby bought this house primarily because of the land that surrounds it (or more - what's on the land that surrounds it) - but it has 10 acres (some bush, some pasture, some lawn) so that if he wanted in the future he could get animals and so on.

The house was built in the 80's (apparently old by Canadian standards) and at the time had 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom and an unfinished basement, so it was perfect for a single guy that had no intentions of ever having a member of the opposition (women spit spit spit) living there.

There was always going to be a time that he updated it, but now with us being together, things fell into place and we started making the little square box everything that we wanted. And its so much fun that we love doing things like this together.

Anyway 'nuff with the mushies.

Uncle Ken (builder) and one of his lads, along with nana and papa, me and Duck will be doing the work (we're paying Ken and his guy because this is his job, and you can't expect freebies for a job this big) startting Thursday. Darcy called me and asked if I could round up some help and maybe start strpping the siding off as it will allow the 'real' work to start as soon as everyone gets here Thursday morning!

We were going to start Tuesady (ie tomorrow) but Papa reckoned if we started yesterday at least if it took a bit longer than we thought we've got time.

So to cut a log story short, I started yesterday morning and got one whole side stripped off (although the amount of bloody dead flies in there was just retarded - seriously bad, I even had them in my bra when I got undressed for a well deserved shower - god it makes me shudder to think of the little f*****s)

Trucks are a good thing - they double as ladders / scaffold too :)

 Nana and Papa turned up at 2pm and then we really got at 'er and by 6pm the whole house was stripped.

Just in time to watch the curling :)

Today we stripped off the paper and the trim around the rest of the windows (couldn't get the soffit off because that meant we needed to take off the gutter, which is one long continuous piece - and it was windy - plus as we are not replacing the gutter we didn't want to mess it up - so we left it on and the guys can take it off on Thursday lol.

There was just time left today for papa to kindly plough the drive with our relic tractor and for nana and I to have a bevvy and watch him doing it lol

Well the next entry I make will be when the siding and windows are done, so this blog entry is dedicated to my fantastic parents in law - cheers guys you're amazing. :)

You tube lessons

I could make something interesting up about day to day life here. I mean, only yesterday I went on a 50km snowmobile ride, highmarking through the mountains.

No I didn't. That shit's dangerous.

I actually went cross country skiing.

No, I didn't do that either - too much like exercise.

Day to day life in the winter, unless you're a total nutfreak for sports that get you cold and wet is a bit same old really.

Darcy has been away at work for a week now, drilling holes in the ground, I've been carrying on with the reno's in the basement.

The monotanous things like filling, staining etc have been done. But every goddam day I go down there I find a spot in the mudding / taping that I fucked up. It's easier to see imperfections when you have a coat of paint on, that's why painters will prime and first coat - then they'll be able to see repairs a lot easier. My problem is I royally screwed up the mudding of the joints so there are loooooaaaads of repairs to do.

Worst being the ceiling. In the parts of the basement where the pipes and ducting run through we have decided to install drop ceiling so if anything happens - ie leaks - you can get to the offending bits. This means everything other but of ceiling was drywalled. Now its hard enough getting a smooth finish on a wall - but above your head???? pffffffft forget it. The joists weren't that straight so every joint in the drywall is visible from space.

And it's been bugging me for months, even with a thick coat of paint it still looks cack.

So today I bought some E Z Roll Stucco - to easily roll on some sort of texture to cover up any mistakes. The directions on stuff like this make it sound really easy, looad up your roller, roll it on, stand back enjoy your work whilst wearing a smoking jacket and sipping champagne.

Hmmmmm - not sure about this - so looked up some vids on you tube (there's always some know it all expert  uploading educational videos about how you don't need to waste money hiring someone who actually knows what the're doing. So we find one about texturing ceilings.

hmm, ok, well it doesn't look that hard. Wow that stuff is thick. Why is he trowelling the stuff on his roller, E Z Roll suggests to me that it's easy.

The short vid was a bit rubbish, so I decided to ignore it (like you do) and do it my on way - because I obviously know best. And it turns out that either a) I do or b) I lucked out.

Decided to do one of the bulkheads, and not to use a full size roller so that I could work in small sections and ensure even coverage and texture.  You DO have to trowel the stuff on your roller - its a bit like the consistency of the icing that you make snow peaks on a cake with, wop it on the ceiling and roll in 74 different directions so you can't see where you've been.This tactic worked because it looks awesome though it did take about 4 hours to do a little bit. Doing the big ceillings is going to take ages - but the result will be worth it.

After that it was on to grouting the slate on the floor and walls where the fireplace is going to be. Once again trawled through you tube for lessons - and found a good one - watched it - instantly became a journeyman tile grouter. I think the dogs could have done it actually - it's not hard is it - slop some grout on shove it in the gaps using that rubber thing, go outside for a ciggy, come back, get a spong and bucket and cleam it off. Learned that with slate you should clean it in diagonal strokes so you don't gouge any of the grout out - thanks Mr Expert Guy on the you tube tutorial! - and holy shit - that looks pretty dam good too.

See now I'm surprised right now. 2 Jobs done, no disasters. That doesn't make for a good blog entry - but it does make for a happy husband - ( he's probably more relieved than happy that he doesn't have to tear down ceilings and redo tile work but whatever).

                                                     ---------------------------------------------------------

Couple of days ago mother nature decided that, in the clouds where the snow lives, it was time to kick some shit out of home. So it snowed for 24 hours solid and we got about a foot. (not just in one little place - but like a foot everywhere)

Incredibly managed to get the truck out of the drive and pretty glad I did because the weather has now got warm and has made the snow start to melt - which makes it heavy - which means if I hadn't gone out yesterday - I'd have got stuck because the truck woul have got bogged down in heaps of wet snow.

Reason I'm telling you this is because I just got a phonecall from Darcys uncle

"Hey Manda, all your siding and stuff is now in - I'll drop some scaffold over at Jim and doris's (Darcys parents) on a trailer on Friday and you can come pick it up and take it out to your ready for next week"

"Sweet, cheers Ken, appreciate it"

"No probs - het just wondered if you'd cleared snow at yours?"

"Err yeah shovelled the patio bit behind the back door why?"

"You might want to clear about an 8ft run all the way around the house, the weathers warming up and the scaffold runs on wheels, the ground will be dry by next tuesday"

Silence

"Hello?????"

Click.

Well no I actually didn't hang up - but felt like it. Are you having a laugh - clear that much snow (remember a foot deep and wet) jesus christ. It's be easier shovelling lead.

But wait - there's more. It's been decided (and I'd like to say mutually but I won't) that it would be better if I could round up some troops and start stripping off the old siding before uncle Ken comes out on Thursday - cut down on the labour we need to pay for. So not only do I have to shovel snow, get the ground dry, bring the trailer with the scaffold home and remove trim from the windows on the inside of the house - now I have to try and get as much of the exisiting siding and corners and starter strips off before Darcy gets home Wednesday evening and Ken and one of his lads start on Thursday.

Nana and Papa (Doris and Jim the parents in law) kindly agreed to come help on Tuesday. Mainly I reckon because Papa doesn't want his son hearbroken when I fall off a scaffold I've erected incorrectly and come crashing down to a grizzly end - suffocated in piles of wet snow.

That's a more feasible outcome than - Hey babe - I managed to get the siding stripped off today.

Tomorrow then, looks like this.

8am get up

8.01 - have a ciggy and coffee, check emails, have another ciggy. Bugger about for a bit. Top up coffee - ahh bollocks have another ciggy.

9am - get dressed, go outside, shovel snow.

9.05 - sit down exhausted, have a ciggy and another coffee.

10.30 - wake up in er following a heart attack from snow removal.

11am - have lunch (probably fag and coffee)

11.15 - go downstairs and start rolling texture on storage room ceiling

3.00pm - have a bath and get ready to go and watch neice play hockey and after that supper and drinkies as it's nanas birthday.

1am - decide to stay at the in laws because driving after a bottle of wine and 8 rum and cokes is not on the cards!

It's not a bad life really :)

wrapping up loose ends

I think i've finally found my body type - after 40 something goddam years. It happened when I bought a dress which for once I tried on in a shop. I don't normally do that because I can't stand people that dither.

I go shopping with friends and they spend hours in the changing rooms while I sit outside picking my nose and making the appropriate noises when they come out with the 57th oufit.

The normal appropriate noise is "f**k this i'm off outside for a fag, text me when you're done".

So I had this wedding reception to go to and thought i'd try out this new fangled idea of test running a dress in the changing rooms. Holy shit it works.

Although it now looks as though everything in my wardrobe has been bought because I thought it made me look like a vision of me I had in my head (which is nothing like me tbh).

Which is a result because NOW it means I can go shopping when hubby gets his tax refund for new stuff - he can go and buy some new guns and I can buy clothes. Aren't we just a match made in heaven.

The last of my paperwork was sent off to Buffalo for the spousal sponsorship FINALLY, although in the desperate hope that someone from CIC may stumble across this blog - SHOUTOUT FOR THE GUYS AT CIC BUFFALO - WUFF WUFF WUFF - YOU GUYS ROCK YEAH (it's a long shot isn't it -  hmmm - well bugger you gotta try)

I said to Darcy that "when it's finally all done and I do my landing I'm totally gonna kiss the border officer" (well unless its a woman with a hairy chin or something) though do you think that could get you arrested? It probably could right - the other ones might think he/she was being attacked and I could get tackled to the floor by a group of burley men in uniform.

hold on .............................. ;)

The plumbing got fixed FINALLY (thanks babe - luv u) and the basement renos - although taking 500% longer than if we had got someone in to do them for us - look cool. Well we think so, we wanted to do everything ourselves cos we like arguing  creating / building things together. My job was the mudding and taping and painting and finishing (and fetching and carrying) but so far, because I totally fucked up the mudding, I keep having to redo corners and joints because I can see imperfections. I reckon each corner has about 6 coats on by now and we've probably lost a good foot all round of space due to the extra mud!

Darcy framed all the doors himself and put up the baseboards, so Ive been sanding, caulking, staining wood (I know staining should be done first normally - but shall we say hubbys cuts aren't that accurate sometimes, so some strategic filling has to take place - which means you have to do this prior to putting on the final finish, hence staining whilst they are on the walls.

We layed black slate tiles on the walls and floor around where the wood burning stove and that looks cool, slate is tough to lay cos its all wobbly and different, but thats a bonus when you don't know what you're doing cos you can say "oh yeah well we had no choice the slate is all different thicknesses".

Lastly we have new windows ordered and being delivered in a couple of weeks. Darcy has organised a gang of buddies to help install them - in the middle of fucking winter - are you kidding me - oh yes winter in Alberta is EXACTLY the time of year you need to be installing windows.

Thankfully the house doesn't have that many of them so we should be good.

But wait.

He decided that we should change the siding too - oh hell lets do fascia, soffit and everything else too. So we had to quickly pick a colour and get that ordered ready for when the windows come.

COS WE'RE DOING THAT AT THE SAME TIME.

Oh well, Canadian guys are made of strong stuff. They must be to attempt a retarded project like that in March.

Lastly the dogs - getting on great rumble has for the most part stopped jumping. I've found that if you go outside and totally ignore him for about 30 seconds it takes the edge off of his excitement and you don't get laid.

Just spoke to hubby - all is going well at the rig, he had a new roughneck start who is experienced and came from another rig, which totally takes away a headache from him because untrained roughnecks are the most likely to do someting which will get either them or a work colleague killed - mainly because they are young / inexperienced (read - think they know it all even with training and a watchful eye at all times) / think its easy work for the money / don't really get what its like to be part of a team yet.

Awesome - so now i'm chilling out while my babe is about to start his night shift.

Time for a shot of some wobbly pop :)

The new dog loves me so very very much

Darcy has gone back to work and my 24 hour relaxation is just about over. Bugger. So i'll recap the last week for your ultimate enjoyment over the next couple of days

So my significant other got home - met the new dog - or should I say was jumped on by the new dog (yeah urrgh sorry bout the jeans babe) we had a little snog and went to bed (its late and he works a long shift before heading home).

Anyways in the morning - we do that thing - you know - the morning thing that guys seem preprogrammed to need to do. Notice it's not even a 'want' to do. It's a need.

Let me digress here for a moment. Sometimes it can be awesome, but - 98% of the time (and that might be underestimating) who the hell feels bloody gorgeous and sexy first thing. Because i'm dam sure its not most of the women in the world - unless of course you are Jennier Aniston who i'm sure could look beautiful slobbering whilst snoring. So with a horny old toad lying next to you, you try and forget that your breath smells gross, your mouth feels like the bottom of a birdcage and you have hair (and a facial look) that Edward Scissorhands would die for. So it's not really the optimal time for performance because all that goes through your head is - "really??? REALLY???? look at me"

However on this one occasion, even looking like Freddy Kreuger can't stop it happening (well its been a week!) so with the deed done ............ what? you really think i'm gonna go into details????? Not likely!!!!! - Darcy looks at the clock "Shit I have to be at the chiropractors in like an hour and a half".

He jumps out of bed and heads for the shower. Bugger I wanted one first (for obvious reasons!) Oh well, i'll stick the coffee on and go outside for a smoke.

And thats when it happened.

This is where we get a bit base, so i'll apologise in advance for anyone who might be offended (though really - this is me - if you get offended don't read the blog - simples!)

I go outside and light up a fag, Rumble (new golden retriever) comes bounding over (hes been making awesome progress) and then stops dead and shoves his face right in my crotch - like dogs do. I'm like "get out you dirty bugger" and go to push him off.

Oh no. He's going one way and that aint backwards - because he caught a whiff of that 'smell' You know what i'm talking about. He goes nuts.

I'm yelling "babe help the f***g dog is trying to hump me - BABE WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU I CAN'T GET HIM OFF" so I have to shove him off as best as I can - which really means get his goddam paws off your shoulders while his back bloody legs are still wrapped around mine, and drag myself up stairs to the back door with the dog still attached and try and pry him off as I sneak back into the house.

Darcy gets out of the shower.

"YOU ARE NEVER HAVING THE FIRST SHOWER AFTER MORNING RUMPY AGAIN - THE DOG IS A PERVERT"

I could hear Darcy still laughing as I switched the shower on.

Good intentions do not a plumber make.

Decided to finally get round to replumbing the sink in the kitchen in today. (Its a double one - one side lined up - the other didn't, so for the last few days ive been just using the one side, and putting off doing the other).

If I'm honest I should have just left it totally until Darcy gets home on Wednesday - because I've sliced through a pipe (that needed to come off) and not bought the right fitting for it to reconnect. And it just so happens to be a bank holiday weekend so nothing is open until Tuesday.

Grrrrrr, so until then i'll be using the bathroom sink :(

Next task was a small piece of drop ceiling in one of the bedrooms needed doing. Its only 5 or so inches wide - but a pipe that we may need to get to in the future is behind there - so we didn't drywall that.

Now, I've seen my hubby do drop ceiling, even Brian Baumler from HGTV said a trained monkey can do drop ceiling. So I'm thinking this will be an easy task.

Oh no it isn't. Have you tried to get a drill / hammer / anything into a gap 5 " wide to attach the L shaped bars to the wall????? After 2 hours and cut hands from screws slipping I totally lost my temper and hammered about 6 holes in the wall out of pure frustration (Now those, I know how to fix lol).

Eventually predrilled holes through the channel with it laying on the floor, and had to use a little turny / rachety spanner as it was the only thing small enough to get in there.

I f*****g hate DIY.

Tomorrow i'll be fixing holes in the walls. And posting photos.

Doggies, painting and painting.

My absence wasn't because I had been eaten alive - no sir eeeeee.

I was actually doing - um - ya know - stuff. Here is a rundown on the stuff :)

Dog arrived - I took one look at him and thought "holy shit you're a big f*****r " Not a mild mannered retriever but a big honking great dollop of a dog.

His background is somewhat sad - a small lady got him as a pup, thought it was super cute to let him jump all over her, and as he grew he kept jumping. Until the only way she decided to control him was to whack him on the head with a spade, or tie him up on the deck and then push him off.

F*****g bitch - I'd like to get mt hands on her.

So the lady (Heather) who brought him down - owns a boarding kennell and rescued Rumble from the woman with small person syndrome - and had fostered him for 2 years - giving him as much time as would allow to get him somewhat social again.

I won't bore you with details because I aint no Barbara Woodhouse - but he's settled, just needs a firm voice, lots of love and attention as well as the consistency of commands. (Revert back to my post about our beloved springer and my consistent training methods - ahem lol) Joking aside this dog needs it because he HAS to get out of old ways that could unintentionally injure someone if he doesn't.

Tango loves his new big pal and the pair of them are gradually being used to being a) outside and b) together.

Little Tango above and big ol Rumble below :)

So alls good with the dogs - well sort of - Rumble was in the house for about 5 minutes on his first day - Tango took a dump in his kennel inside, so as i'm cleaning it, rumble bodyswerves into the living room, and grabs a hold of a box of my drawing pastels - and chomps down 6 of them. (Luckily the crap colours!) So he'll be shitting rainbows for a while I suspect.

Darcy has 2 sisters, the youngest one Cindy, lives in Drumheller - it was her who introduced Darcy and I, and at the weekend she called to ask if I would go down and help her paint her sons bedroom. Now I love home remodelling and she knows it - so all over it like a rash I drive down there on Monday (taking Tango), do some painting, stay for supper and come home. couldn't get it all finished as she wants some fancy dancy design which entails taping off various bits and bobs - meaning that some of the paint had to have time to dry prior to taping off the other bits.

Then Valentines day comes and goes - I went over to the in laws for supper - we drank wine, ate choccies and watched the Flames game!!!!! Which got me thinking - holy shit - today was Valentines day - what to get my hubby??? Bollocks bollocks - I give him shit for forgetting me (which now he doesn't  - funny that eh!) so I need to get something cool sorted for when he comes home next week.

He's got bloody expensive taste - no romantic dinner, and a chick flick for him - oh no - he'd want a 12" double bevelled compound mitre saw with stand (or something equally in the $800 range). Ad i'm sorry but "happy valentines day - I love you - here's a saw" just sounds a bit shit.

Those who know me know I like to doodle a it. (It's a sweet talent as I can give people personalised gifts that have cost me $3 for a bit of paper and a day or 2 on my ass on the couch - thats a pretty good deal as it goes) :) So I decided to do a portrait of our beautiful "Cash" . I wasn't sure if that would be a bit weird - you know - only just having lost him and all - but it seemed right.

So today was spent scribling one dog, as the other 2 happily played outside. This is how he turned out.

I'll make a barnboard frame for it at the weekend :)

There - a roundup on life at the Dux's for the last few days. Tomorrow sees me down to Drumheller to finish the painting, getting back up to our neck of the woods before the shops close as I've got some things that have been ordered in for the basement to collect. Nana and Papa (the inlaws) are coming for a visit Friday to help with the plumbing under the sink (which I can't fix myself mores the pity :( ) and then it's back on the rundown for Darcy to come home!!!!!!

Time passes by a bit goddam quick if you ask me!

The perils of a good birthday present.

Hello world :)

We feel super great this evening, because I don't feel like a bag of snot for the first time in 4 days!!!!! It sucked because everytime Tango would drop off to sleep, i'd sneeze and he'd jump a frickin mile lol..

So as I promised here's some pics of the counter top thingy. Its not quite done - still need the varnish on to seal it, but the people are coming to drop the new dog off tomorrow and i'm not having them come into the kitchen, and see everything piled on the dining table, and me saying "sorry you have driven 4 hours but you can only have coffee if you allow me to make it from this position on the floor".

I'm funny like that.

So i'll be walking round on tenterhooks hoping the new hound isn't a 'jumper', bounds all over the kitchen and claws a great big scratch through my cheapo facelift worktops!

The first pic is with the counters having 2 coats of primer on

The second pic has 3 top coats of the stone type coating on which is now fully cured and can be varnished when the coast is clear :) (See what I mean about the horrible orange cabinets though :( Can't even tile a backsplash - because ew windows are going in in a couple of months, which will mean new wider trim on the inside. oh well - suppose I've lived with it for 3 years already another 12 months won't hurt :)

Anyway. Feeling pretty good about this facelift, I take Tango outside for some play time and load some garbage into the truck, along with the old sink to take to the dump. Fast forward a couple of hours of going into town, dump, Tim hortons, Walmart for dog food for Rumble, doggy treats, get some ciggies, pair of new shoes (What - did I really say that out loud???!!!) well they are quite nice - paif of Khaki cork wedges - not REALLY the weather for them now but i'm ready for summer baby lol, and I come home.

Still a bit achey from getting over this cold, I think I'll jump in the bath and relax. But while its running i'll listen to my voicemail messages.

And get this beauty

"Hey Mand, it's Jen (my hubbys sister). Listen, Seth (her son) is at a hockey tournament (what again???) and yesterday the lady who took some team pictures for the thank you cards (?????) emailed me and said the photos didn't turn out. Do you think you could come to the game - and take some team pics afterwards? It's in Clive (about 50 mins away?!!!!!) and starts at 5.15. Don't worry if you can't just thought i'd ask because no-one else has a decent enough camera."

So, I'm looking forward to a bath which I am semi submersed in, its 3.45pm, I have to charge the camera battery, bath, dry hair, do make up (WHAT???? i'm not turning up looking like a bag of shit - i've done that for the last 3 days already) and get over to Clive ready for the hockey. Awesome. And all because my lovely hubby bought me a pretty decent camera for my birthday - and a telephoto lens for Christmas.

All i've had since then is family members saying "ooooh can you come over and take pics of XYZ if you don't mind???"

And me being me, am like "sure, no I don't mind - I'll be right over".

A decent camera does not David Bailey make - but they don't seem to notice, and whilst I have no idea about lighting - or indeed what most of the buttons on it do - I press and hope and they seem to like them.

So thats good.

Actually i'm glad I went, the hockey game was wicked, the kids played their little (and they are little - like Borrowers wearing ice skates) hearts out - Seths team won and he was awarded the heart and hustlle award at the end of it - rounding off the tournament where no team is really declared winner - BUT - they were the only team that won all of their games - so make of that what you will ;)

After the game I precariously step out onto the ice thinking "please for the love of god don't let me fall on my ass because theres around 100 people watching" - most of which will have smartphones, all of whom could upload a video to You Tube in about 3 seconds

Fortunately for me (however not so much for the fail squad) I don't fall - get to the team - take the pics - and get out of dodge without incident.

Here's one of the pics

So thats it for today. Am currently pigging out on cakes I bought at the tournament, having got some laundry done and blah blah blah ready for whatever chaos will ensue when the new dog arrives tomorrow :)

Early mornings.

Gaaaaaaah :( Really, I mean REALLY. 

Darcy has more energy than Cash did, even when he's been away working on his 2 week shift (12 hours a day) he'll come home and still start doing something. He'll be up at the crack of dawn savouring each day - my crack of dawn means "f*** off and leave me alone for another 3 hours ............. zzzzzzzzzzz". 

So the two weeks alone is my license for a lay in in the morning. Hell yeah. And it's awesome. 

Oh no it fricking well isn't, because Tango is Darcys new motivational speaker. Which if he could speak, would say"OI woman, get your ass out of bed and feed, me, play with me and generally give me everything I need" uuuurrrgrgh, I'm sure the two of them are in some sort of human / canine consprircy. 

Well we do have a semi exciting project on the go, so i"ll play along - get up and join the real world at an appropriate time (ie am not pm!). 

Obviously we are doing basement reno's (I say obviously as it's in second or first blog entry), but I'm one of these people who likes to start 5,000 projects all at once! So on tuesday when the mail man came I was flicking through the HomeHardware flyer to see what bargains could be had.  

Me "oooooooooh look a countertop restoration kit babe, $149 down from $200, that looks pretty good eh???!!!!!" 

Darcy "hmmmmm" 

Me "are you listening? this looks cool" 

Darcy "I suppose so, what do you have to do" 

As luck would have it there is an instructional video online so we watch it, and voila - he is convinced that even a potato without eyes could refinish countertops to a proffessional standard. Off we toddle into town to get one. Bollocks they are out of stock - luckily we can order one in still at the sale price - sweeeeeeeeeet - it arrives at the store the next day (yesterday). 

I'll give a bit of background on why we are doing this. The basement has been a major reno, flooring in the upstairs has pretty much all been done, new windows are ordered and are coming next month, new siding is on order and a new deck is going down in the summer. 

The current kitchen is in good condition so can wait for a few years before being upgraded, its just the countertop thats a bit - well - shit (shit as in I hate it, because its that faux marble laminate in an ivory colour). The cupboards are like an orange oa (which I hate also but Darcy is a 'farm boy' and oak cupboards are 'country' - sigh - we'll work on him on that one lol). So the plan was to just replace the countertops with new laminate ones, we'll get stone if we do a whole refurb later down the line - but for now - new laminate (which actually isn't as bad as the 80's ones) would just tart it up. 

We hit a major snag though - one of the countertops is 12 feet long and the standard counters you get from the big box stores come in a maximum of 10ft lengths. Granted you can order some in but then they start becoming super expensive for what is in essence a facelift just to keep the wife happy. Bollocks. We've already bought a new sink and taps (has been in the basement for a year - also on sale from the brochure in HomeHardware - ready to be installed as and when). 

So when I see this refinishing kit I think "Bingo" perfect solution. Darcy goes off to work and I get to play DIY again :) 

So yesterday I pick up the kit and am all gung ho about doing it. And thats when the brain storm hit. 

How difficult can it be to install a sink and taps really????? Stick my head under the counter. mmmmmmm the taps are attached there, the drain holes from the double sink go there and there. F**k it's a piece of cake. Count me in the old sink is coming out!!!!!!!! Plus it may as well go in the save damaging the new refinished countertop after the event right?!!!!!!! 

So I put on overalls (plumbers wear things like that so if I look the part i'll be halfway there) empty the cupboard under the sink and lay on my back with an armful of tools. An hour later, covered in water and dust - the old sink is out and in the back of the truck. Sweet!  

Okay next is to bring the new one upstairs and get it out of the box - (its a black composite one as we have black appliances in the house that Darcy bought when he bought the house). I do that and immediately think f**k shit bollocks. The holes for the taps aren't cut into it. You are kidding me. How the hell am I going to do this without buggering it up royally. Crap, darcy will go mad if I damage the sink, drilling random off centre holes in it. The instructions tell you to flip it over because there are 4 pre drilled, half started holes for taps. OMG that awesome - all I have to do is go to the shed, get the right sized hole saw bit, and finish drilling the right ones. Awesome. So I do that. And it works. And I am relieved. 

Now we have a sink, with holes, on the floor. There is a template with the sink that you should really put on the underside of a new countertop to draw and cut out the hole (so you don't chip the surface). This isn't an option, seeing as a) the countertop is in and b) i'm refinishing it so you won't see chips!!!!!! 

But the new sink is way bigger than the old one (well not way bigger but bigger enough to have to do some constructive cutting). Now armed with a jigsaw and a premanent marker, I start randomly chopping bits out of the counter, putting the sink in. taking it out, chopping more off, putting it in, taking it out, choppin..................... well you get the picture. I do this because the template size would make the hole that was cut go into the supports for the countertop, so I have to do this very carefully and a bit at a time to ensure a super tight fit without destroying the supports. 

The sink finally goes in like a glove, and I am surprised - um I mean - content, that my handiwork is not bad. Put some sealant underneath, and to be doubly sure around the edges, plumb it back in and job done. One of the drains doesn't quite line up underneath so I shall go in town tomorrow and get a new black bendy u bendy type pipe, and fix that. Plumbing is easy.

So thats where we are this morning. Ready to start the countertop restoration. I will take some pictures of before and after, probably during. And intersperse them in this long page of text so you can actually see what I am waffling on about. 

Tango is currently having his breakfast and 1/2 hour run outside. I'll go and bring him in now and he can sit and give moral support :) 

A sad week :(

Don't know where to begin really.

Cash doggy had his run of the place, 10 acres to do as he pleased - and he pretty much did bless him - but when you are that handsome you can eh!

We are surrounded by farmland - all owned by members of the same extended family - and has been for years. Everyone looks out for everyone else, and that's the way it is in the boonies. They all have dogs of varying shapes and sizes that will come visiting - and Cash would hang out in the next door pasture from time to time. No doubt chasing more bits of thin air.

Last Thursday, I had gone over to my mum in laws, to help her with some things she was doing around the house, Darcy (who was was home from work on his week off, and had been home for a day already) was heading down to Calgary to pick up his son Connor, who comes to stay when Darcy is home.

When I left in the morning Cash doggy was there, however when I got home, much to my surprise he didn't come running up to the truck, like a drunk on an alcohol delivery day. I thought it was a little strange, but if he's out back then sometimes he doesn't. Throughout the evening  I kept going outside and calling him.

Still no Cash.

Darcy got back from Calgary at around midnight, and I told him that the dog was missing, he said that while I was over at his mums in the morning he would take the truck, in daylight, and go and look for him. Your heart is sinking, and all manner of things go through your head, has he been run over, stolen, shot - what has happened to him. But you are awlays hoping for the best. Maybe the daft numpty has gone chasing some tail and the thought of a night with a hot female Labrador is more appealing than being mauled by our cats!! Who knows!

At 11am the next morning I got a text message saying he had found Cash. He was dead. Caught in a coyote snare on the adjoining pasture. So of course I call him straight away, and knowing my "doesn't really show emotion" husband, he was beside himself. He couldn't speak. Cash was his right hand man and to find him like that was beyond what he could comprehend I think. He had to be strong for Connor who was in the truck somewhat oblivious to what actually happened (he's 8).

So I drop everything and come home. In the meantime Darcy in his anger has gone and dismantled all the traps and snares along the fenceline (30 of them in all) and dropped them on the neighbours field, and gone to pay them a visit.

To cut a long story short, apparently the neighbour contracts the local Hutterite colony to come and set the traps to control the coyotes, they are licensed and all above board. The Hutterites were not pleased that the traps had been dismantled and I will not repeat the conversation between the Hutterite guy and Darcy when he came to pay a visit on Saturday morning to find out what had happened. Suffice to say that there were lots of raised voices

The thing that stings the most is that the Hutterites apparently visit all the local farmers and tell them they are setting the traps, so that for the trapping season any dogs can be contained, they didn't visit our place because "We didn't think you had a dog." This is the first time we had heard that they trapped out here - they have apparently been doing it for 20 years. I also have no idea what I will say to them next year when they come to advise us they are doing it again.

Now everyone knows my views on hunting, that's not up for debate - but I don't agree with trapping. It's cruel beyond belief to knowingly submit any animal to a long painful death. Darcy had even found a deer in one of the snares - also strangled - and a coyote that was not quite dead, so he took out his gun and put it our of it's misery.

Poor Connor suffers from ADHD, and also his development with regards to social interaction is taking sometime. He doesn't realise that Cash isn't coming back - it doesn't matter how many times you tell him, he cannot accept that dead is final, and what it exactly means. So in a small way - that took the sting off somewhat for him I think - although Darcy was a mess. :(

Now, again, knowing my hubby as I do, I know he loves (and loves unconditionally.) But in some ways he is similar to Connor (as he would be he's his dad lol) that he'll take certain actions on things that others would think a little strange. As I will explain..........

Friday night I am still deciding whether to go ahead and get the retreiver, he was after all going to be a buddy for Cash, so with no Cash what's the point? But a friend put a lovely post on Facebook along the lines of "there are still dogs that need love and homes, and if Cash could have had a dying wish, it would be that another dog could have the love that he got". So OK, yes we'll go ahead and get Rumble. Now Darcy starts looking on Kijiji. And I instantly know what for.

He's looking for Springer spaniel pups. Personally if it were my choice alone I would have left it for a while, but Darcy needs something to fill the gap that Cash left. So his way of thinking is if we get another one - then I don't have to deal with the hurt of not having Cash around. I can understand that. And if thats what it takes for my husband to stop hurting, then that's what we'll do.

On Sunday as we are taking Connor back home to Calgary, the lady who has Rumble surprisingly emails to say can we change his date of coming to the following Saturday - so still being raw about Cash, plus the fact that I hate emaily on darcys Blackberry because I always mess it up, I don't say anything to her about him, and agree to the postponement, thinking that if we do get a new pup, it will give it time to settle. (Because if hubby wants a new pup you can bet you boots he will get one within 24 hours lol)

A few emails go between Darcy and a chap who has some Springer pups online, ending up with a 5 hour round trip on Monday to collect our new boy - Tango. Very like Cash in many ways, a little less stocky, still a field bred Springer but a tad less excitable (that wouldn't have been hard lol). He's a very welcome addition to the house, like having a bloody child though - up in the middle of the night - little accidents - getting into things he shouldn't - but he's a darling and would have gotten on beautifully with his predecessor.

So now Darcy has gone back away to work again (went yesterday, (Wednesday)) and I am now in sole charge of training this one - it's my resolution that I will be more strict with him, so that at least when we pay the vets a visit he doesn't jump all over everyone. Darcy is also building a new doghouse (we do have a standard one ouside) but he wants to build an 8x8x8, (almost a shed lol) with windows, doggy doors, insulated etc - with a huge pen attached, should there ever be a need to keep Tango confined. (We don't have dogs in the house per se as connor is allergic to them - although he is growing out of it gradually - so Tango is acclimatising to his new surroundings by spending 75% of his time inside and 25% out. When the weather warms up this time will gradually get longer until he becomes an outside dog.

Where was I???? Oh yes, so with Darcy gone I get to thinking that I really should contact the lady who has Rumble and explain what happened to Cash. I know most people would say it's a need to know basis, but the way I look at it is if I were rehoming a dog I would want to know exactly what the surroundings and potential pitfalls around it going there would be. So I sent her an email earlier explaining the situation and also saying I fully understand if she doesn't want hime to come.

We'll wait and see what her reply is, I hope she still lets him come but I wouldn't hold it against her if she didn't.

So thats really the story of last week, a bitter sweet week. This post is dedicated to our beautiful, stupid, adorable, mad boy, who is hopefully causing chaos wherever he is now.

Sweet dreams Cash - we were the luckiest people in the world to have had you as our friend.

xxx

Hammer time

We were lucky enough to be approved to adopt the new doggy - Yay - I meet the lady who has him now a week today, at a truck stop to pick him up. (On a scale of 1 - 10 how dodgy does that sound lol).

We are doing it this way because she lives roughly 4 hrs away from me, and we have been forecast snow for 3 days around then - so we thought it best that I didn't drive all that way just in case.

So Cash the wonder flid had best get used to his last week of freedom before his poor little pampered ass gets a reality check lol.

As the countdown to Darcy coming home is nearing completion - I am obviously getting MY ass into gear, cleaning, moving, sorting and completing tasks that should have been done last week (why didn't I do them then????)

In about an hour, after i've wrtten this I will be going to the dump - we live rurally and don't have a binman - so anything you wanna chuck away - you do it yourself. Which is why I'm glad I own a truck - chuck it all in the back - drive to tip - open tailgate - kick everything out - shut tailgate - leave!!!!!!

Also after I have been to the tip i'll pop into town - I have a cupboard full of purses shoes and clothes that seriously are never ever going to get worn here - and I have a 1 year rule. If it aint worn in a year it gets donated. So yesterday was spent ruthlessly throwing stilettos and skirts into black bin bags to take to the salvation army.

I will of course not mix up the bags for the tip and the thrift store, as i'm sure the ittle old ladies behind the counter don't want to shove their heads in a bag full of mouldy cheese and coffee grounds.

After that I shall return home and finish off some staining of baseboards in the basement that we are renovating, then move the dead trees in the yard, do some laundry, vacuum and mop floors, tidy basement a bit and sit down exhausted.

Alternatively it could read - couldn't be bothered, i'll do it tomorrow, am having wine.

Vet day

Actually went to sleep in bed last night instead crashing on the couch as I so often do when Darcy is away at work.

It felt great to wake up with my head not stuck at a right angle!

Skip forward a few hours of random domesticity and it's time for Cash the dog to go to the vets for his check. I love his va va voom for life. He'd even be excited to go to the guillotine - he's that kind of dog. So as he almost ran over me to get into the back of the truck we spend the 20 min drive into town playing the "spot the oncoming vehicle - try and chase it out of the back window as it goes by". So by the time we get to the vets he's beyond excited and exhausted and slobbering everywhere.

And being Cash, once in there everyone and evrything is his friend. Tables, books, windows are all super new and wonderful - and you get comments from everyone in the waiting room along the lines of "he's a lively fellow eh?!!"

Oh ya think????  I'm doing my best to try and make it look like he's had training, by doing a Caesar Milan impression - "tch - Cash sit, CASH SIT - OI RETARD SIDDOWN!!!!!!!" Which fell on deaf ears so I gave up.

Staying power is never my strong point which probably explains why I'm such a pushover.

Now he see's a poster of a cat and starts growling at it. All the other 'customers' are there with perfectly behaved lap dogs - which if they could talk would have been sayng "how uncouth that hound over there is".

Oh thank the lord we get called in. He's all over the vet like a rash and she gives him a biscuit - which he spits out as soon as she says "it's a healthy one!" - he must get his eating habits from me.

The rest of the check and injection goes without incident (if you can call jumping, slobbering, growling excitedly and licking without incident). although he has put on 2 lbs over last year which apparently we need to keep an eye on.

Holy shit - he's put on weight. How the hell does that happen?????? That dog never sits still. He chases snow falling, leaves blowing, embers from the fire pit, the cats, their kittens, dirt, grass, fresh air.................... mmmmmm . Could you imagine an overweight over hyper springer????  It would be like being jumped on by Rick Waller.

So my mind was made up to get him a friend - looked on Kijiji for a rescue and saw a few random dogs that obviously had major behavioral problems and the owners are just trying to offload them to the nearest sucker. Weedled those out and finally decided on a 2 year old retriever.

Emails have gone back and forth and I've spoken to Darcy about it and he's in agreement that if the dog seems ok we'll get him. The owner of the kennel that he is in right now has had a few enquiries but was not happy with them and for some unknown reason is happy with our 'application'.

We are lucky enough to have 10 acres for the dogs to play - and - as over the top as Cash is, he is a super dog to have. Great with kids, loyal, semi obedient (seriously he is!!!!) doesn't wander, (he's an outside dog which probably explains his wonderment when being inside - anywhere lol) so I think he would be a good friend for a new guy.

I hope to god this doesn't go as tits up as the last rescue dog we had did (another story for another day) but time will tell so watch this space.