My families adventure on the road to oz via Germany

Voting

So today was the first day I was allowed to vote in Oz. Actually it is compulsory here so you get fined if you don't. Paul hasn't yet as he's working and he only has less than an hour and a half left !! Would be typical if he misses it and we have to pay a flipping fine !

The vote was on daylight saving and, to be honest, the debate in the run up has been hilarious. Some people, for some reason, think that there will be less/more hours of sunshine ! Apparently if we have daylight saving the cows will become confused, the curtains will fade etc etc, daft.  Still, it is funny to see the Ozzies so hot under the collar about it, most other issues most couldn't care less about.

So I have voted for daylight savings, having sunshine before 7am is unnatural and wakes me up and I do like having some daylight at the end of a day to go to the beach. Would really hate being woken at 6am and then it getting dark as soon as Paul is home from work, not good for our family life !

Oh well, will find out soon enough if all my curtains are going to fade .................

Sci-Fi dorks of the world unite …

The fools of the road …

Every country has its driving peculiarities. The French, for instance, do not give a tuppeny bit about their cars - it is merely a means of getting form A to B - and if you have to push in the door of another car in order to get into a space, then so be it. The Americans are great at driving in straight lines, but shit at going round corners. The British pride themselves on letting people out of turnings, but try jumping the queue and you’ll have a plasterer from Twickenham tapping on your window with a tyre iron and a very angry expression on his face - verily it is road rage blighty.

And then there’s the Australians. Like all nationalities they have their foibles. I’ve lived here for three years now and these driving habits have been getting on my tits since day one. In no particular order, here’s my list.

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The ‘wooooo’ gene …

Alright. I feel we’ve known each other for long enough that I can level with you about something. It’s not something I’ve ever spoken about publicly before because I’m aware that there’s a certain stigma attached to the condition. When one person in a family has this particular genetic mutation, they are often given the cold shoulder, mocked and removed from the annual round-robin Xmas card distribution list.

And what is this ailment I hear you ask? Well, it’s like this - I don’t have a ‘wooooo’ gene. The wooooo gene is a genetic marker on the same long-chain of DNA as the self-consciousness gene. Its presence (or rather the lack of its presence) usually manifests itself at a very early stage - indeed many sufferers report that they first realised they were missing the wooooo gene on a school trip.

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Down on the farm …

Earlier on in these Easter holidays we had promised Jack that we’d take him to Canberra (about a two and a half hour drive from here depending on how many serial-killing pill-popping lorry drivers have rolled their road trains into a ditch on the way) so he could visit Questacon. However as the day approached both the missus and I realised that we really couldn’t be arsed to drive all that way, particularly since we were bound to meet plenty of homeward bound holiday traffic in both directions.

However we’d already promised Jack his day in our nation’s capital and so, in time-honoured parental fashion, we resorted to blatant bribery in order to console him. We said we’d drive up to Shellharbour instead and that he could spend the equivalanet of the entrance fee at the museum on Lego. He quickly ran off to his computer and started working out what he could get for $50. Once he’d discovered he could get several cars and a Power Miner, he quickly agreed.

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Birthdays

I managed to survive the girls' birthdays .... yay !!!

It was the end of the school hols so very busy with entertaining the girls, scitech, days out etc and the girls chose to have separate parties .... never again !

It was Nakita's birthday on Friday and she chose to spend the day in Perth, after it taking 1.5 hours to find a parking space to get the train to Scitech earlier in the week, we chose to get the bus to the train station. I must admit I was pleasantly suprised, it's been a while since I've caught a bus but we only waited 15 mins, bus was clean and new and we bought a family rider which covered the bus, train and all other public transport for the day for all of us for the sum total of $8.40 (just over 4 pounds !!) Every school hols Perth does a playground pass which basically is a card which gives the girls freebies or discounts or special offers etc all over Perth so we caught another train to Harbour Town where they got a free library bag filled with goodies and discount card. After exhausting Harbour Town we headed back to Perth and went into every shop (well it fel like it !). Our feet were hurting and we were ready to drop when Paul picked us up in the car and we headed up to Sizzlers in Innaloo. The only Sizzlers we'd been to before was in Kelmscott and a bit of a nightmare but this one was fab, clean, calm and no queue. The food is buffet style like Butlins without the people serving you so you just help yourself which is what the girls like as they can eat what and how much they like ! We eventually got home at 10pm and ready for bed.

Saturday was Nakitas party so four girls came and all 8 of us headed to the cinema to see 17 again which is actually a good film ! Home then for pizza and a sleepover. After reading the riot act at 2.35am Ithink they fell asleep ! They were all picked up at 10 the next day, actually they weren't as one mum turned up over an hour late for two girls without so much as an apology ! Luckily we weren't going anywhere. Rob was ace and took Nakita as well as Lexie so we were Nakita free and ready for Tallulah's 13th Murder Mystery party. What  a lot of work that was !! Not sure I'd repeat it but the girls (all 11 of them !) seemed to enjoy it and Tallulah was spoilt rotten by her mates. They all slept over too but I have no idea what time they went to bed as I was passed out through exhaustion by midnight. Wasn't for long though as Paul woke me at 5am when he got up for work and then the waste collection came at 6.45am and spent half an hour clanging and making an awful noise picking up all the kerbside waste. Then one girl was picked up at 8.30am and the rest at 10. Tallulah's birthday on Monday was a very quiet affair as everyone was so tired !

So I survived although am still sleep deprived and have a backlog of Body Shop work to do let alone the housework. Nakita is back to school tomorrow and Tallulah is off shopping to spend her vouchers and then Tallulah is back in Thursday and I'm training all day so still no rest for the wicked...... I need a holiday !!

The sun goes down …

Ah yes dear friends - I’ve actually managed to get another blog entry out inside a week this time. I don’t know how many people follow my blog but I would like to point out to those of you that do, that it’s pretty hard to keep yourself motivated to do this, three years on. And any of you that read this blog and know me personally will understand that the fact that I’m still writing this blog three years on is as close to a miracle as you’re likely to see this side of an aubergine with the visage of Jesus in it.

So. Easter holidays have been ticking along here. The sprog’s had some playmates over and vice-versa - one mum even presented us with a box full of cakes when she brought her son over! Bloody nice they were too - we told her that as much as we’d enjoyed having her son over, she shouldn’t expect an pastries in return as neither of us can cook for shit.

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Summer’s last hurrah …

Eight thousand or so people are about to descend on our village. You can hear the engines starting in Sydney, the traffic will already be building up on the Princes Highway southbound. Utes, 4WDs, soft-roaders and battered family station wagons crammed full of tents, boogie boards, bikes and fishing gear will be nose to tail in all the usual traffic hotspots.

And down on our beach here in Barefoot Bay, you’ll find us volunteer surf lifesavers staring fixedly at the swimmers by the rip. And we’ll be doing head-counts and watching that Indian family who quite obviously can’t swim and have decided to go paddling fully-clothed. And someone will get stung by a blue bottle and, if the surf’s up, we might even have to swim or paddle out to them and return them safely to shore.

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winter's a'coming !!!

Well it is only early autumn and most days are still quite warm and some still hot, however, we have noticed that the night times are a tad cooler these days so thought we'd go and collect the firewood ready for the winter. Last year Paul fitted a wood burner but we ran out of the wood a friend had given us after a few weeks and, at $7 a bag (a bag lasted a day), we couldn't afford to buy much so it was rarely used and we froze  !!!

This year we decided to do some research and found that you could buy a licence from the info centre and then go and collect your own ! So last week Paul bought the 30 day licence for $7 and yesterday Nakita, Paul and I (yes, you guessed, Tallulah managed to get out of it !!) trudged off to collect the wood. We had a fab day, it was hard work and we learnt a lot (like next time take a better axe, Paul broke his straight away, a bigger chainsaw, a wheelbarrow and another bloke !) but it was a beautiful setting, so quiet and peaceful (save for the chainsaws!) and is definitely a good day out for the family. We treated ourselves with coffee and cake in Dwellingup on our way back through and watched all the other trailer loads of firewood pass by ! Now Paul just needs to cut the rest up, stack and store it and then we can go back for another tonne  !! This year, we're going to be ready for winter.

You might say that - I couldn’t possibly comment …

Found myself in and out of the surf club this week. I’m one of the few members of the surf club that actually lives here in Barefoot Bay. For reasons best known to themselves, most of the members of the club choose to come to the Bay instead of other clubs that are closer to them. Our long-serving club secretary lives in the Sussex Inlet, 60km south of us - the club president lives in Broughton, 10km away. In fact of all the members on the club committee - I’m the only one that actually lives here.

The advantage of that is that I have a 90 second drive to get to the club on patrol days and can stay in bed a lot longer than most of ‘em. The disadvantage is that I’m usually the person called upon to open up the club for people wishing to gain access for whatever reason. So the Yoga club, the SLSA Branch Committee, various maintenance bods, instructors and miscellaneous club members give me a ring if they need to get in.

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Always take the weather …

Load of old shit …

I downloaded a couple of shows recently that jogged the old memory banks. They were both about the south west of England and Cornwall in particular. In one, Richard Wilson takes a road trip down the A30 coast road and in the other  historian David Heathcote explores Cornwall with one of the old Shell Guides. I thought David Heathcote’s was the more entertaining of the two, particulary as he covered parts of Cornwall we know very well. He was particularly scathing of Padstow (or Padstein as it’s more commonly known) and the fact that you stand more chance of winning the lottery than finding a car park space there. Was nice seeing the Camel Estuary and Rock, because we went on a sailing course there once - learning to drive those little Mirror dinghies you always see.

One moment did tickle me though. Heathcote drove down to Polzeath beach, a place he hadn’t visited in more than 20 years, to see if it had changed. The general upshot was that it hadn’t really changed much in that time, but what made me giggle was all the surfers, in full steamer wetsuits, hats and gloves, wandering down to the water with their surfboards. I love Cornwall, but that side of surfing in the UK truly sucks. I suddenly remembered those winter surfs off Fistral or Crantock when your head gets ice-cream freeze and pissing in your wetsuit to warm up is a necessity. Don’t get me wrong, it cools off here too, but never *that* cold.

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Messing about in boats …

One of the problems with our little surf club is that too few people put their hand up to volunteer for stuff. As a result you get the same faces doing all the donkey work. One job that’s been unfilled for some time is chief instructor - as a result of which many of us have had to go to other surf clubs to do awards. Anyway - a member of the club who has been out of the whole surf lifesaving movement for 12 years recently rejoined and the great news is that he’s an IRB specialist. The upshot of all this was that starting today, regular IRB training began.

You honestly couldn’t have asked for a nicer day than today. It was in the high 20s, the ocean’s as warm as it’s going to get and the surf was perfect - nice glassy waves and no shitty dumping shorebreak. I got down to the beach a bit past the 10:00am start time on account of going to bed at 3am the night before after an evening of boozing with good friends.

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Money for old rope …

And in other news, the next of the governments big anti-recession ‘incentives’ has hit our bank account. While I’m not complaining about the sudden appearance of an extra $1000 in the bank, particularly since it’s exactly half our next mortgage payment, and since it’s far preferable to being poked in the eye with a short stick - I still don’t understand what Kevin’s hoping to achieve. There again, what do I know - couple of people on the expat forums have commented that the car parks at the big shopping malls were absolutely heaving today as people rushed off to K-Mart, Target and Harvey Norman in their pursuit of Tivos, Tents and Mobile Telephones. Maybe it will stave off a recession.

Unlike a lot of people, Liz and I work for ourselves, so in some ways we miss the worst effects of any economic downturn. Short of firing ourselves, our jobs are fairly safe. If anything, my work (fixing PCs) has actually picked up because ($1000 gift vouchers aside) people are deciding to patch our their old PCs rather than splurge on a new one. They’re also rapidly discovering just how reliant they’ve become on their PCs. Without even noticing, they’ve started banking on ‘em, doing the household and business accounts, storing all their photos, bargain hunting on eBay, using Skype, playing games, listenign to the radio, watching movies … they’ve become as essential to the household as the family car.

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Swimming Carnival

The swimming carnivals here are voluntary so, needless to say, Tallulah has never put her name down for one ! Nakita hadn't until this year either as she didn't have the confidence but this year has started differently !! Nakita felt good enough about herself to give it a go

She swam two races; 50m  breaststroke and 25m back crawl and came 5th and 4th resp gaining a ribbon for each. I was so chuffed with her just for trying so gaining two ribbons and doing so well was the icing on the cake.

All those swimming lessons paid off

The catalogue that time forgot …

Yes, the colour changing angel - a lump of plastic 10cm high that 'spreads peace and joy' through your home. Like all angels, it changes colour from neon blue through to neon green. In the event of a home invasion it also doubles as a personal defence tool - just jab the angel into the face of your assailant and not only will you blind him, but the good lord will banish his wretched soul to hell for all eternity.

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Ticket to Sydney

Interesting facts ...

• To drop off we must cool off; body temperature and the brain’s sleep-wake cycle are closely linked. That’s why hot summer nights can cause a restless sleep. The blood flow mechanism that transfers core body heat to the skin works best between 18 and 30 degrees. But later in life, the comfort zone shrinks to between 23 and 25 degrees - one reason why older people have more sleep disorders. Worth bearing in mind if you’re not used to sleeping in warmer temperatures.
• One of the most common (dangerous) spiders in Australia is the redback. The female is four times the size of the male (just like humans) and is the one to watch out for. They build incredibly crappy webs close to the ground that look like they were abandoned months ago and where you find such as a web, you’ll probably also find a female in a nest of dead leaves. While not the most venomous of spiders, their venom can cause death in the weak or elderly.
• DLUG stands for double lock-up garage - no Aussie home is complete without one.

Happy bloggy birthday ….

Just noticed that it’s exactly three years since I started writing this blog (or it was when I started writing this post). When you consider that I have trouble sticking to anything, I reckon that’s something else. When I began this blog I was living in Nailsworth in Gloucestershire and had recently made the decision (along with my missus, natch) to emigrate to Australia. That decision was much easier for us, because I’ve held Australian citizenship since birth on account of having an aussie dad. So the spouse visa was just a case of form filling and an agonising five day wait!

My first blog post was made after a day at the Bristol Ice Rink with my wife and son and the sister in law and her daughter. Yes, it’s a pretty bitter post, but I genuinely have a lot of affection for Bristol and the Southwest of England in general. I was brought up in commuterville, 30 miles north of London, but found Bath, Bristol, Cornwall and the Cotswolds far more to my liking and made them my home for all of my adult life post-college. My all-time favourite band - Massive Attack are Bristolians and I love pretty much everything the ‘Bristol Massive’ produced, from Roni Size to Portishead and all stops in between. If our family return to the UK (you never know what’s down the line), we’ll almost certainly head for exactly the same spot we left from.

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The world according to Australia …

Thought I’d begin with a few things that are making the news here in Australia-land. Firstly, today was an official national day of mourning for the people lost in the Victorian bushfires. Amazing stories continue to appear regarding the fires - such as one couple who lost mains water and successfully tackled the blaze in their house with a couple of crates of Pepsi.

Also in the news, an Australian won this year’s Oakley big wave award. The wave in question, a 40m beast, was at Cow Bombie near Perth. Absolute nutters those big wave surfers. I mean, how in the name of all that’s holy do you survive a wipeout on a wave that big?

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