My families adventure on the road to oz via Germany | |
Bruised plums …As you may recall - I recently started going to the gym again. It’s going well too - I have managed to stick to my three sessions of spin cycling a week, without copping out. However I have a question for any blokes that might be reading this, that regularly ride a bike. How the fuck do you stop your bollocks getting banged around like a couple of plums in a blender? Is there some equipment, like a cricketer’s box, that I can stick down my shorts to protect my family jewels? Because at the moment, when it’s time to do a downhill sprint, my balls are getting flipped from left to right like the numbers in a bingo-callers drum.Blog entry continues here. In the face. With a hoover.It’s the weekend and Catherine is ‘on’ one. She’s decrying the state of the house, the mess, the dirty carpets and the dust and as always I’m the punching bag that stands between her and nuclear fission. Admittedly the house is in a bit of a state, but it’s hardly in ‘How clean is my house’ territory. I don’t feel that we’re in danger of Aggy and the other one marching up the garden path in their starched white overalls, bog brush in hand, ready to check the downstairs bog for u-bend skids. But when my lovely wife is one of these particular moods, you’d have more luck arguing the toss with a strung-out crystal-meth hungry crack head.Blog entry continues here. Infamy, infamy, they've all got it infamy ...So I’m sat there - minding my own business, checking my email, when this loud howl comes from downstairs, “Oh my god!” It says. Repeatedly. I run downstairs expecting to find the aftermath of a murder. Or at least a serious assault. Instead there’s my wife, staring at the shelves of our walk in ‘robe. “What’s up?” I cry, breathless from sprinting down the stairs to the aid of my obviously distressed wife. “Would. You. Look. At. The. State …. of these t-shirts.” “What?” I say. “What have you done? It looks like a wild animal ran amok in here.”Blog continues here. Warming up ...The weather’s definitely on the turn. We’ve had a couple of chilly nights this winter and one day a few weeks ago when the daytime temperature didn’t get above 10c but on the whole it hasn’t been too bad. The bureau of meteorology predicted that this would be a warmer winter than usual and either I’m used to it - or they’re right. Last year I can remember having the reverse cycle or the little portable oil fired heaters on most nights. This year I’d say we’ve only had to resort to their use every other day. Today it’s a very pleasant 18c here, the sun’s shining and the sky is blue. If you’re a bit of a weather obsessive, like most of us Brits - then here are some good websites to check out. The best weather site of them all, as far as I’m concerned, is Weatherzone. You can enter your post on the site and it’ll give you good local weather information. It’s particularly useful for researching particular parts of Australia since you can see full climate information for specific areas. If you want to plan ahead, then the long range rainfall forecast is very useful - this is the forecast for my area. Blog continues here. Sporting gods …So, the Olympics is in full swing and … I honestly couldn’t give a shit. In fact I couldn’t give much of a shit about any kind of sport these days - AFL, NFL or ARU, the socceroos, the hockeyroos or the scoobyroos - it’s all tedious bollocks that interests me about as much as variations in the base rate of pre-adjusted inflation. The Olympics, it seems to me, is nothing more than a parade of idiots that celebrates a series of utterly meaningless records. One man can run faster than another man - well fuck me backwards - well done mate.Blog continues here. Citizenship testThey changed the rules just after we landed so that you have to live here for 4 years before you can apply to become a citizen but we still only have to do two ! Before you can apply you have to sit a multiple choice test in Perth so Paul and I trundled off last Monday after having revised for weeks - this is no easy test and, if it wasn't multiple choice I wouldn't stand a chance. In fact when they tested it on the Aussies they failed !! Luckily there is a low pass rate too of 60%. I passed with 100% and Paul got 90%. Paul started to tell me that he'd had harder questions but I had the same ones as he got wrong so that didn't wash ! Still, we both passed which is the main thing as Paul had to take a day off and now just have to wait until 30th August before we can apply for our citizenship. Summers coming !We have now had sunny days for the last few weeks with no hint of rain, at last !! It is still a bit nippy during the day though and cold at night especially as we are now out of wood for the woodburner !! I currently have 2 or 3 Body Shop parties a week and the last 6 Sunday afternoons have been parties so, this weekend, Paul decided to take Nakita out in the kayak. Other than putting the kayaks in at the wrong place and Nakita getting stuck on the rocks, it seems they had a fabulous time so this may be a regular thing in the summer. Not sure how we are going to go with only two kayaks as, I am sure, Paul and Nakita will head off never to be seen again leaving Tallulah and I twiddling our thumbs ! Nakita's arms are still hurting her though three days later so she may have to build up her arm muscles !! Tallulah has decided that she is fat So you'll know the olympics are on. We are lucky in that Bejing are on the same timezone as us so we watch it quite a bit for the first time ever. This is definitely a sporting nation though, yesterday I went to the dentist and it was on in the waiting room (the fish tank had been removed) and each dentists room. I rang the beauty shop to book the facial with voucher Debs gave me for my birthday and I could hear it in the background too. We have been warned though that the Aussies are biased towards their country so you may miss the final of something as they'll cut to the ceremony if the Aussies win a medal. Not seen that as yet except in the gymnastics where they didn't show the last two teams as the Aussies had performed !! Still, it is good living in a nation where they win lots of medals !
Sports day ...Annual sports day at Josh’s school has come and gone. They hold the event at the large showground in the centre of Berry, which is a great venue because we parents can drive our cars up to the fence around the perimeter and watch proceedings from there if the weather’s shit. And since sports day takes pretty much all day most parents take a packed lunch which is eaten on the tailgate with the kids. It’s all very civilised. They even lay on a mobile coffee van to serve up decent lattes for the mums and dads.Blog continues here. Christmas in July, well August.Over here quite a few people celebrate Christmas in July which I thought was wierd until this year. The weather is cold, the television is showing Christmas episodes of all the American programmes (that's all of them then) and you just do feel Christmassy - I have even caught myself singing carols ! Last night a good friend, Karen and her two girls Molly and Alice, invited us all over for Christmas dinner. We had the full works - nut roast, mash, boiled potatoes, green beans, sprouts, carrots, peas, cauliflower cheese, yorkshire pudding and gravy etc etc followed by home made pavlova and chocolate log. She had even put up a little Christmas tree and we all had presents under the tree. It was absolutely fabulous and felt just right ! I think we will make this a regular thing now, every year, Christmas in winter. Not sure if Paul will let me put the lights up though ! I will have to make sure we get extra crackers this year to put away. Karen had just had her cinema room all fitted out so we then sat and watched Polar Express on the cinema screen with surround sound. What a fab night !
school holsWe have just had two weeks school hols in the middle of winter and what a difference the Body Shop makes !! Instead oif staying in every day we were able to get out and about a lot. We visited an old work colleague, Lucy, from AXA who lives in Tapping, about an hour and a half north of us, we went up by train and she picked us up from the station so all very stress free and great fun. She has a son who is lovely and always seems to be smiling and the girls just love him so they even enjoyed themselves. We also went up to Rockingham for a spot of shopping, Lucy had given me two free passes for the cinema so the girls went to see a film whilst I food shopped so everyone was happy once again !! There were sleepovers at ours and the girls went to other peoples so barely a day went by withoust something happening. We went up to Perth one day with Karen and her girls and the kids were able to pick up a 'kids pass'. This enabled Nakita to have a couple of slides down a ski (man made snow, obviously) slide on a rubber ring (Tallulah was too tall) and Nakita also had a session throwing snowballs. There were lots of other things they could do too but we didn't have the time unfortunately. We went to Scitech (a bit like @ Bristol but smaller) and ended up getting an annual pass as it was so easy to get to and will enable us to have free trips for a year and we also did a spot of shopping much to Tallulah's excitement ! Karen had both girls for us one night so Paul and I went out for a lovely meal - we have finally found a restaurant we both like - shame it's pricey !! She is having them again for us on Saturday night but Paul has had his annual night out now so not too keen. I am still working on him ! Another night I had a girley movie night with a few friends, drinks and nibbles. We watched Shirley Valentine followed by Calendar Girls and it was a great night. In between time I have managed to paint Tallulah's room and we are now just waiting for Paul to finish off the flooring and noticeboard so she can move back in and I can clean and repair the spare room ! Back to life with a vengence now. I hadn't booked many Body Shop parties in for July as I wanted time with the girls but now find I have 9 for August and September, October and November will now be mad due to Christmas. I need to start getting some early nights ! How many loaves does it take to make you happy?This continues to bug me - the whole 'choice' thing in relation to supermarkets and shops in general. It comes up time and again on the expat forums - people banging on about how much more choice there is in Tescos rather than the Australian equivalent - Coles. And I just don't get it. On any level. Leaving aside the larger supermarkets down the Bolong road in Nowra, my nearest decent mini-mart is the IGA in Berry. Now, I haven't actually stood there and counted all the different varieties of bread they have on offer, but there's many metres of them in a wide variety of formats designed to cater to all tastes. There's faddish granary loaves in retro brown paper, there's raisin toast, crumpet toast (surely the food of the gods), white loaves, wholemeal, low glutin, organic rye, pumpkin seed, caraway, Lebanese and Turkish. There's Country Life, Helgas, Mighty Soft, Noble Rise, Sunblest and Wonderwhite. And that's just the loaves - I haven't even mentioned the pita bread, tortillas, baps, rolls, bagels, crumpets and muffins they also stock. And let me reiterate that this is in a small town mini-mart - not one of the large supermarkets. Blog entry continues here ... Surf's up ...Well, it’s mid-mid-mid-winter here right now and if you’re a surfer that means one thing - big fucking waves. We have some superb surfing beaches round here that can produce stunning waves with the right swell. Coastalwatch had some amazing pictures up on their site of a swell hitting the coast about 10km from my backdoor.Blog entry continues here ... Two years in ...Two years is seen by many immigrants as a tipping point. For many people who are uncertain if they intend to stay in Oz, it marks the point at which they consider themselves to have given the country a fair go and consequently book return flights back to Blighty. For others it marks the point at which they stop feeling the bad pangs of homesickness and start feeling more at home in Oz. In Catherine’s case it marks the point at which she can apply for Australian citizenship (Josh qualified from day one). I have asked the great one if she intends to get her citizenship, but she’s keeping me guessing. Being on a spouse visa meant she had PR from day one, so beyond the obvious ‘benefit’ of being able to vote - she’s in no rush to spend her afternoon with the mayor to get her flag and pot plant.Blog continues here. Finally school holsSchool terms here run for approx 10 weeks without a break so by the end it is a struggle to roll out of bed !! Twice this last week Nakita was late for school as she couldn't get herself ready. It looks like this may be a common thing as they are changing the school hours again next term so that they start 10 minutes later (8.40am) and no early close. I always forget that they finish early at 1.50 on a Thursday (have even left them there waiting quite a while before realizing !), what's the betting that now they finish the same time every day I show up early on Thursdays !! Anyway, I'm sure I've mentioned before that Tallulah is taught dancesport at school. This is really ballroom dancing to hip hop music and the kids love it. Every year they have a social dance in the evening showing off their talents and having a party, however, due to the industrial action being taken by some of the teachers, this year it was cancelled (as well as the school camp, graduation, excursions etc etc - cheers teachers !!!!!!!) so they had a mini afternoon performance. As it rained early on, Paul was home so we both were able to go and watch. It was awesome what they had learnt. They had all the old time dances off pat to modern music and 'line dancing' consisted of hip hop moves to rap style songs whilst in a line. They all danced with a partner which was quite funny as a lot of the boys were small and the girls mostly tall and there was obviously more boys than girls !! At the end the parents had to join in ........ lucky Paul was there really !! Anyway, school all over for another term, hols are now in full flow. We have trips lined up to visit friends and the museum and I have promised to decorate Tallulahs bedroom which is no mean feat as the shower leaks into that room !! So no rest or chill days here....will I ever learn !!
British Expats - the site where you can like it or lump it ...So. Thread running here in which I asked some perfectly reasonable questions. Paul's solution - acuse me of "having a tantrum" and then close the thread.Man it must be great to be an admin of a site like this. If someone says something you don't like, you can just close the thread - the equivalent of putting your fingers in your ears and chanting, "I can't hear you, I can't hear you." This is the problem. Herr Oberlieutenant Paul thinks that I am spamming my new blog site. And where am I spamming my new blog site? In my signature? Nope. On the forums in threads and posts? Nope. In emails or karma messages to people? Nope. No - I have been accused of spamming my blog, from within my blog. Genius. I mean, let's think about this for a second. The only people reading my blog full of my words about my experiences and using my pictures - will be people with a passing interest in what I have to say about me and my family. So quite how I'm spamming, by letting people know that my blog has moved elsewhere, is beyond me. It's not like I'm leading the users of this site, like some digital Pied Piper, to a big competitor to British Expats. Nope - I'm letting the 30-or-so people who regularly read my blog know that it's moved. Wow - what a wanker I am. The powers that be on this site seem to be obsessed with external links. It's as if (MY GOD!!!!) there are websites other than British Expats that we might all visit. And by stopping anyone mentioning those other unclean websites, they might perhaps go away and British Expats can continue to reign supreme amongst niche web forums devoted to people of British origin now living abroad. The whole place was going to shit long before it was sold to a large media aggregating company. I will watch the coming months and the stunning site updates (oooh look, vendor forums - how very fucking useful) with real interest. The blighty fund ...Blog updated ... here.Moon faced bint ..Blog updated ... here.Fat ... but happy ...Blog updated ... here.I were right about about that saddle though ...Blog updated .... here.KidsWell Tallulah came home with another merit certificate last week. These are not given out lightly, there's no PC here with teachers making sure everyone gets rewarded... you have to work very hard for them. Nakita has never received one which upsets her every week !! Tallulah's read " For consistently producing work of a high standard. Your brilliant independent and time management skills are a fine example for your peers to follow. Keep up the huge effort ". I was a very proud mummy depsite the fact that it isn't cool for me to be so !! This weekend has highlighted how they are growing up. Tallulah disappeared off out Saturday afternoon for a fancy dress party and won't be coming home until Monday after school ! Nakita had a friend over Friday evening and then waltzed off to the beach with another friend and her family at 9 o'clock this morning not to be seen until tea time - what a life and pretty good for a winters day ! Weather is now lovely - warm days and cold nights but the wood burner makes things cosy now Paul has worked out how to light it !! Still I'll be happy when Spring gets here.
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and, luckily, has decided that she loves her food too much so is going to become more active. She already does hip hop but has now joined the scouts too. She also forced me to let her do swimming lessons in the school hols. Swimming lessons here during hols are called Vac swim and cost $1 a day (they go every day of the hols) plus pool entry so that's a total of $4 a day - equivalent of approx 2 pounds a day so I booked them both in despite Nakitas protests. I have also booked them in for the summer hols. Here in Mandurah they offer lessons in the sea for the total sum of $1 a day but Tallulah is still scared of sharks so they'll be back in the pool - she may regret that when the temps are in the 40s !!!