My families adventure on the road to oz via Germany

What to do now?

Both V and I are at our wits end with J the youngest. After he damaged a car last year we had him on severe restictions as to playing out. I though since he had an invite to play at his freinds house accross the street i would let him go. The little toe rag didn't go to his freinds instead an irate mother brought him home as he had dammaged 2 cars throwing stones and scratching them  . We off course are going to pay for the damage. Its the final straw for V though. AS if J gets into any more trouble then we run the risk of being seperated as the army wont tolerate what they consider to be out of control children. V already has one family on a final warning from the army in his unit, in their case it is a teenager causing problems. From what we have been told that as J is so young it will be us as a family that will get sent .

Its his 6th birthday tommorow but we wont be celebrating it. It sounds cruel and i feel awful about that but we just cant seem to get through to him. We know from his visit to see the paeds that he possibibly is on the spectrum for ADHD. But so far we have not recieved the help we were promised . We are trying so hard to be good parents but we must be failing him if he is getting worse.

Life did seem to be getting better at one point but now it feels as though it is all going wrong again. We just dont know what to do any more. We have tried all the punishement and behaviour charts there are. So as a last resort we are having him put on virtual house arrest till we leave paderborn which will be another year. God help me as it wont be easy. As if i dont lock the doors then he sneaks out and goes wandering off and i never know where he is.

well know ive getting it off my chest im off for a cuppa then once the kids are all asleep it will be a stiff drink

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12:06, Tue 4 March 2008 .. Posted by herrchook

Oh Mandy, what a nightmare. I have no ideas on what might help you, just wanted to show you some virtual support.

lots of hugs

Gill

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08:47, Tue 4 March 2008 .. Posted by Sam

Just wanted to say that i feel for you both

But don't punish him for something that may be out of his control!

Push every available source (which i'm sure you are) for a diagnosis hon!

Stay strong, its not easy being a parent of a child that requires additional needs but there is hope out there, do your research on the internet,approach the school and health services...push push push as if you dont they wont either!

Good luck

You got my MSN, give me a shout any time (just coz i'm off line doenst mean i am)

S xxx

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11:11, Tue 4 March 2008 .. Posted by moneypen20

Whatever you're doing, you are not failing your son as parents so get that thought out of your heads. He needs some sort of help from experts, you never find them immediately, it takes time. Don't beat yourselves up, look at the other boys to confirm that you are good parents, you just have one lad who needs the extra help that you don't yet have the handbook for.