My families adventure on the road to oz via Germany

Feeling like the odd one out

Today has been a strange day. That has left me feeling a little down in the dumps

My boys were invited to a school friends birthday party at the local workmans club. I took them and was invited to stay, which i did. The boys had a whale of a time, but i was bored and lonley. In a room full of people not one person came over and talked to me. All the tables were full so i had to sit on a table on my own. i tried starting conversations with people who i recognised from the school gates but all i got was one word answers. The people there had known each other all their lives and had never moved out of the village. I joined in with the kids doing the hokey kokey and tried to get in to the spirit of things. While most of the other parents were propping up the bar. The party started at 1pm, a bit early for me to be drinking. Im not a snob but i felt un comfortable in a smokey room full of adults getting drunker as the afternoon wore on. It got to 4pm and i had enough. I felt awful dragging the kids away but the party was supposed to finish at 3.30. Now at home ive got a pounding headache and my eyes are sore.

Im pleased we are moving soon as no matter how long we lived in the village i dont think i would felt as though i belonged. On Friday one of the mums asked when we were leaving and said she would be sorry to see us go. Not sure why she said that as normally she never speaks to me.

No matter where i have lived i have always thrown my self into the community, but this place revolves around the workmans club .

I was busy texting V while i was at the party and he was telling all about what was going in Paderborn for the families. He decided not to go as he felt the odd one out going with out his family.

V is home on Friday night in time for our 17th Wedding anniversary on the Saturday and im so looking forward to it. this past month and a half has been so difficult. The kids have missed him so much and ive missed him more than ever.

I know its not long really till we can be together as a family again, then none of us will be the odd one out. V is getting a tent ready for us joining him in Paderborn, so we can take the kids camping along with the dog. We are finally going to do all the things we have wanted to do for so long. The things we imagined we would do when the boys one by one were born. The hill walking, biking, camping and places we could visit. Are all soon going to be a reality.

The one good friend i have made here (another outsider) says she will be devestated when we go as like me people dont speak to her either.  Ive told her to get on the internet and we can catch up on line. but i know she really needs a real friend to replace me when ive gone.

All my life people have judged me , at school it was because i was a little tubby, wore glasses and was the school swot.  When i was at Hull doing my nurse training it was because i was from the north east and engaged to a squaddy at a young age.

When i first became an army wife i finally found some where i belonged although some people did judge me cos i didnt wear designer clothes.

The only place im not judged is on the internet forums that i go on . I have found good freinds who take me as i am who i can have a laugh with and a moan to and not have to worry about fitting in.

Soon i will be at home again, as my home has always been beside my husband and the past 4 years while we have been apart neither of us have felt as though we belonged any where , we were the odd ones out.

Roll on the 1st of August when we will finally be at 'home' together.

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03:17, Sun 1 July 2007 .. Posted by moneypen20

A kid's party in a working men's club with the adults drinking and smoking sounds like a nightmare to me. You'll soon be away and it will all be a distance memory. Have a great anniversary.

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08:31, Sun 1 July 2007 .. Posted by Tiggs+Graz

Its their loss Mandy - they could have had the good fortune to have you as a friend.
Hugs Adele (another of life's 'misfits' ;-) )

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10:29, Sun 1 July 2007 .. Posted by poppets

i too have felt an outsider at times & feel most at 'home' with my hubby.
have a fab anniversary & you'll soon be together again as a fantastic family
((((hugs)))) & best wishes to a lovely lady & her fab family xxxxx