Thursday, December 1, 2005 - Dog park loonies

As I have previously posted I have 3 Miniature Pinscher dogs, a 4 year old female called Siouxsie, 5 year old male called Spike and a 2 year old male called Zorro. In Los Angeles you are not allowed to take your dogs off the leash except in designated dog park or dog beach areas. I have been going to Venice dog park for over a year now, you meet some nice people there, some you see once or twice, some you see on a regular basis and then there are the core group of what I call 'Dog park loonies'.

I love my dogs as they are great company with real attitude however to some people you can see it is their whole life, here are some of the Dog park loonies that I come across on a regular basis;

South African lady - I think she is a professional dog minder, yes people in LA actually pay people to walk and look after their dogs while they get on with their careers. I've often wondered why people have a dog if they can't be bothered to look after it, but then again some people in LA have kids which are permanently looked after by Hispanic nannies from 3 months to 15 years, so perhaps that is another story.  Anyway, South African lady is always at the park every time I go, she usually has at least 5 to 8 dogs with her, she has one of those very harsh South African gratingly  nasal accents and is always in the middle of the action if the occasional dog fight breaks out, sometimes she has her 2 kids with her and loudly berates the dogs, kids and dispenses free advice on dog care to all and sundry in her loud shrill manner, very annoying when you have came to relax on a nice sunny day.

Octogenerian dog man - I feel sorry for this guy as he is in his 80's and has a largish smooth haired Jack Russell terrier, he usually makes 2 trips from his car to the dog area as he has an assortment of cushions which he and his dog sit on. It takes him a while to do the various trips back and forth shuffling very slowly. His dog obviously means a lot to him, he even has a sign up on the dog park notice board, the sign introduces his dog and goes on to explain that he is in his 80's and needs someone to take his dog if anything should happen to him, sad really.

Mr. Know-it-all - This guy is freindly but just bugs the shit out of me, I like to talk to people, drink my coffee and socialize while at the park, but this guy is an expert on everything. He owns a grey coated wicked looking dog with yellow eyes which he lovingly calls 'Shoeshe' ( not sure about the spelling).

One can hear this guy right across the length and breadth of the park, invariably pontificating loudly on all manner of subjects, and he appears to be an expert on them all ( yesterday's subject was Israeli legal code??), he always has his sunglasses perched on his head, not on his eyes but lifted just above his hairline, and he also sports one of those ridiculous goatee beards which everyone had in LA a couple of years back.

Mr. Pregnant cigar smoker - This guy comes to the park every day at around 4 or 5 and he is just like Bill Murray in 'Groundhog Day', he wears the same clothes ( black jeans, grey T-shirt and tan distressed leather bomber jacket), he has an enormous belly which more than rivals any 9 month pregant woman I have ever encountered, and sits in the same chair. Entering or exiting his chair makes his face go purple with the strain of lifting the belly in and out of and he smokes a large smelly cigar, it's really just a matter of time before he has a huge coronary. He even has a catchphrase which has now become common in our house as a joke between Elina and I, upon seeing my dogs he shouts " the little ones" in an Eastern European accent and purses his lips to make dog sounds, again the phrase is repeated every time I see him. When I come home I now say "the little ones" to Elina immitating his accent or Elina will ask "was he there? the little ones"

There are a few others but these are my favorite Dog park loonies, nice people in some ways but maybe into their dogs a little too much, treating the dog like the surrogate child that they never had or to replace the grown-up child that has left the house, or perhaps to fill the empty void of former freinds, husbands, wives that have left them to their canine obsession...............