Monday, February 26, 2007 - For Robert Part II

Today is the funeral services for my friend Robert, it's been over a month since his death however the V.A took time to find a slot for him and his earthly remains have been long cremated. In talking with his sister yesterday I learned that Robert did not die from a conventional heart attack as was first suspected. Robert had been drinking with one of his 'buddies', he had also been taking some pain killers or muscle relaxants. The combinataion of excessive alcohol and pain killers may have led to overdose and/or cardiac arrest. Obviously I'm upset and also a little angry that Robert could have been so irresponsible. I thought my little corner of the internet would be an appropriate place to keep the memories of Robert. I will look at them from time to time and think of our escapades together.

In loving memory of Robert 58 years old, born June 4, 1948, died January 18, 2007

Robert 'Bobby' was born on June 4, 1948 in New York City, New York. He moved to California in 1954, with his mother and brother. He lived most of his childhood in the Ocean Park area of Los Angeles. As a child, Bob would earn money by collecting soda bottles. He then would spend his savings on his collection of military figurines. He was very interested in historic battles and collected military figures. His collection included hundreds of Roman soldiers, catapults and warships and he also had multiple sets of figures from the Alamo, the Revolutionary War, the Civil War and the modern day army.

Bobby was a very caring and protective older brother to Jimmy. Although he was only 4 years older than Jim, Bob frequently had care for his little brother. Jimmy recalls two instances where Bobby acted selflessly to insure Jim’s safety. Jim cut his foot severely one day, when Jimmy was 6 and Bobby was 10. Bobby carried Jim home, which was over 5 miles away. Another time, when Jimmy was 7, they were both exiting a bus and Jimmy’s leg got caught in the bus door. Bobby lifted Jimmy and ran along side of the bus until it reached the next bus stop. When it came to family and friends Bobby would always give of himself with out hesitation.

As a youth, Bobby spent summer days with his brother body surfing and belly boarding at Muscle Beach. When they could afford it they would hop on the tram, and go to Pacific Ocean Park, the local amusement park, where they spent many fun and memorable hours in the house of mirrors and on the roller coaster.

As a teenager Bob enjoyed skateboarding, playing tennis and surfing. He was the Vice President of a Santa Monica High School social club called the “LTD“. After graduating high school, Bob enrolled in Jr. College but was not able to complete his education due to the escalation of the Vietnam Conflict.

Bobby served in the U.S. Army during the Vietnam War. After his military service, Bobby returned to California, met, fell in love with and married Janet  and became a father. Although the marriage ended and they parted on difficult terms, Bobby always kept David in his heart.

Bobby was intelligent and articulate. He was socially gifted, making friends easily. Bob had many interests and strong moral values. He was especially passionate about the American political process. He loved to discuss and debate politics with anyone, at any time, at anyplace and for as long as he felt he might make a difference. Bob volunteered to work for many aspiring and prominent politicians. He worked on their campaigns, canvassed door-to-door, wrote commentaries to the newspapers, and attended rallies and fundraisers.

Bobby moved to Henderson Nevada, in 1996, so he could be closer to his ailing Mother, and his sister Mary and her family. Bobby was responsible, loving and considerate son to his Mother and a caring brother and uncle. Family and friends were very important to Bobby. He didn’t have much materially, but he was always generous and willing to share what he did have.

Although Bob was raised as a Roman Catholic, he often attended churches of other denominations. During his residence in Henderson, he often attended St Timothy’s Episcopal church. His belief in the Lord was without question.

Bobby died unexpectedly on Thursday, January 18, 2007. He left behind his son David Matthew , his grandson Caleb, his mother Carrie , his brother Jim  his sister Mary , his nephews Jeff  and Matthew , his nieces Stephanie and Michelle and his great-nephew Ryan .

Until we meet again. We love you Bobby.

When I first came to the US in 1987 I found myself an apartment to live in and a job, the job wasn't a very good one and I had to work Sundays.  I didn't have any friends and knew no one. Early one Sunday morning I was stopped by a guy that lived in my apartment building who expressed genuine interest in where I was from, that person was Robert DeSouza and it typified Robert’s friendly and curious nature.

That was the start of a 20-year friendship with what would turn out to be my first and best American friend.

Back in those days everything was still new and fresh to me; the sun and sand were a novelty to a young man from the UK. Conversely, having grown up in the 60’s surfing scene Robert knew Santa Monica well, and took the time to show a new immigrant the California and Santa Monica beach scene. On my days off Robert and I would spend our days at the beach. Robert and I had some hilarious escapades back in those early days of our friendship, usually fuelled by the long hot days of summer……… and a drink or two.

.

As I got to know Robert I got to know quite a bit about who Robert was, and what shaped him as a person.  A Vietnam veteran who amongst various achievements had a career at Merrill Lynch, in addition to being actively involved in numerous democratic party presidential campaigns for over 25 years, not for personal gain but to attempt to make the world and his country a better place.

Robert had a son David Matthew that he dearly loved and was very proud of, whom he mentioned numerous times over the years. Robert was especially close to his sister Mary and her family, he left his beloved Santa Monica a few years ago to be closer to them in Henderson, but we kept in touch through phone calls, Christmas cards and a visit or two.

In addition to art and politics Robert loved music and was a big fan of the Beatles, especially John Lennon. One of the Beatles songs on the Revolver album is entitled ‘Doctor Robert’. Given Robert’s love of The Beatles I nicknamed him Doctor Robert, and the name stuck over the years. I would address him as Doctor Robert or when he would call my house on the telephone my wife Elina would announce its Doctor Robert.

‘Doctor Robert’ would of course play along, proudly using the moniker himself when I spoke with him, as if he were almost convinced he actually was a doctor.

This is part of the lyrics from the Beatles song Doctor Robert. It should be obvious to anyone that knew Robert why it was such an appropriate nickname;

Doctor Robert
You're a new and better man
He helps you to understand
He does everything he can
If you're down he'll pick you up 
Take a drink from his special cup
 He's a man you must believe
Helping anyone in need
No one can succeed like
Doctor Robert