Saturday, September 10, 2005 - The flatulent jogger

I have been going to the gym on a regular basis for about 3 months now, yesterday I thought I would alter my routine and go jogging for a change. I did the usual checks before leaving, have a pee, attach my I-pod and make sure I have my door key to get back in. Off I went for a run of about 3 miles............ then it started, a rumble in the belly followed by numerous farts. The constant stream of farts continued for the four blocks to the beach front park which has a jogging path through it, which is very off putting and somewhat uncomfortable whilst trying to jog, I could only put it down to the cheese stuffed ravioli from the night before.

One of the main issues was trying to exercise timing control over the release of the gasseous barrage. As I was wearing an I-pod, which was playing loud music at high volume I couldn't hear approaching people, the last thing you want is to emit an enormous fart whilst jogging past someone, especially a member of the opposite sex , I had to constantly look over my shoulder before the next blast so as to be aware of any unsuspecting passers-by, it's also extremely difficult to guage the exact volume of the fart whilst wearing headphones.

All in all a very uncomfortable experience.  In a bizzare way I did wonder if the emmisions might actually aid my running, acting as a kind of propellent similar to a rocket or jet engine?

Perhaps any Physics majors reading this would be kind enough to advise, there must be an equation to work this out?