Every country has its driving peculiarities. The French, for instance, do not give a tuppeny bit about their cars - it is merely a means of getting form A to B - and if you have to push in the door of another car in order to get into a space, then so be it. The Americans are great at driving in straight lines, but shit at going round corners. The British pride themselves on letting people out of turnings, but try jumping the queue and you’ll have a plasterer from Twickenham tapping on your window with a tyre iron and a very angry expression on his face - verily it is road rage blighty.
And then there’s the Australians. Like all nationalities they have their foibles. I’ve lived here for three years now and these driving habits have been getting on my tits since day one. In no particular order, here’s my list.
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Alright. I feel we’ve known each other for long enough that I can level with you about something. It’s not something I’ve ever spoken about publicly before because I’m aware that there’s a certain stigma attached to the condition. When one person in a family has this particular genetic mutation, they are often given the cold shoulder, mocked and removed from the annual round-robin Xmas card distribution list.
And what is this ailment I hear you ask? Well, it’s like this - I don’t have a ‘wooooo’ gene. The wooooo gene is a genetic marker on the same long-chain of DNA as the self-consciousness gene. Its presence (or rather the lack of its presence) usually manifests itself at a very early stage - indeed many sufferers report that they first realised they were missing the wooooo gene on a school trip.
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