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When reality hits home

So, sleep didn't come...it's a real pain, for some reason sleep isn't happening.  Tonight i've been to bed and got up again, i feel tired but my mind just keeps going.

Today the weather has been great again, this country is wonderful on days like this, days when nothing seems to matter except getting in  the garden to soak up the sun. 

The children, still in England, said the weather is great there right now, they've been to the beach, had 99's and fish and chips, enjoyed familiar sights and sounds, the smell of the sea and the usual traffic chaos.  I'm pleased they're having a good time but i miss them and keep reminding myself they'll soon be back leaving a stream of dirty clothes behind them.

Sitting in the garden soaking up the sun has given me time to think, time to think about what does matter.  Family...  I'm sitting here with a longing in my heart to be with my family.  My family is a bizarre mixture of folks, each one just like the next in so many ways but at the same time they are all so different to each other, their little quirks and habits making them each unique, or as we say in this house "special". 

As a parent you know that at some point your children will leave home, go to college, move to halls at uni, get married etc, it's natural for them to spread their wings, it's what we've raised them to do.  We nurture them, watch their first events, smile, steps, words, school day, girlfriend/boyfriend.   We  raise them to love and respect themselves and others, to be responsible citizens and to be proud of who they are.  We teach them the skills they will need when the time comes to spread their wings and we let them know that we will always love them and be there for them.

We arrived here four years ago with teenage children, they were at the age where they were starting to take the steps towards independence the eldest being sixteen, almost out the door!.  Now this is where I will seem very niave, some would stay down right stupid, I never once thought that when they spread there wings they'd move back to their home country without us.  As i've said I expected them to fly the nest but not fly the country. 

Number one went back to go to college and it was tough but I thought  "well it's the only option for him at this point, number two will be different being that much younger he'll settle more and go to college here"....wrong, he's off when summer is done.  That leaves number three here and the reality is dawning on me that in a couple of years number three will probably be gone as well.. they're all going back home!

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