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When reality hits home

So, sleep didn't come...it's a real pain, for some reason sleep isn't happening.  Tonight i've been to bed and got up again, i feel tired but my mind just keeps going.

Today the weather has been great again, this country is wonderful on days like this, days when nothing seems to matter except getting in  the garden to soak up the sun. 

The children, still in England, said the weather is great there right now, they've been to the beach, had 99's and fish and chips, enjoyed familiar sights and sounds, the smell of the sea and the usual traffic chaos.  I'm pleased they're having a good time but i miss them and keep reminding myself they'll soon be back leaving a stream of dirty clothes behind them.

Sitting in the garden soaking up the sun has given me time to think, time to think about what does matter.  Family...  I'm sitting here with a longing in my heart to be with my family.  My family is a bizarre mixture of folks, each one just like the next in so many ways but at the same time they are all so different to each other, their little quirks and habits making them each unique, or as we say in this house "special". 

As a parent you know that at some point your children will leave home, go to college, move to halls at uni, get married etc, it's natural for them to spread their wings, it's what we've raised them to do.  We nurture them, watch their first events, smile, steps, words, school day, girlfriend/boyfriend.   We  raise them to love and respect themselves and others, to be responsible citizens and to be proud of who they are.  We teach them the skills they will need when the time comes to spread their wings and we let them know that we will always love them and be there for them.

We arrived here four years ago with teenage children, they were at the age where they were starting to take the steps towards independence the eldest being sixteen, almost out the door!.  Now this is where I will seem very niave, some would stay down right stupid, I never once thought that when they spread there wings they'd move back to their home country without us.  As i've said I expected them to fly the nest but not fly the country. 

Number one went back to go to college and it was tough but I thought  "well it's the only option for him at this point, number two will be different being that much younger he'll settle more and go to college here"....wrong, he's off when summer is done.  That leaves number three here and the reality is dawning on me that in a couple of years number three will probably be gone as well.. they're all going back home!

Day One

Well here goes, day one in the life of Sofa Surfer, not that I sleep around or take advantage of friends sofas i'll have you know, no the name came about because for about the last 10 weeks i've found myself stuck on my sofa hardly able to move due to back problems. 

I must say, I had thought a couple of weeks at home would be good, a break from the pressures of working in one of the worst environments  known to man, to say it's a hell hole is an understatement, it amazes me how in the year 2009 some people can still get away with bullying staff and going around taking what appears to be great delight in ruining peoples lives.  Anyone who knows crazyorangeone and her tales will be able to relate these two blogs.

Anyway, I drift as usual.  Today has been rather boring, kids have gone to England to visit friends and family, already they are teasing me with comments of Cadbury's and fish and chips and this is only day one, another 18 to go, just wait and see next it'll be tales of all night supermarkets filled with ready meals and custard creams.

Today was yet another treatment day, it consisted of a deep tissue massage which brought yet more tears to my eyes and then a good crunch with the chiropractor. As i said before this is about week 10 in this painful process and by now the receptionist has a deep understanding of my secret language which consists of various grunts, groans, squeals and general pleading for it to end NOW!.   Don't get me wrong, the massage is great, just blinking painful, you know you've had a good session when you go along the corridor to the chiropractor and he says "I heard you had a massage before seeing me"!, then he adds insult to injury by making your spine crunch and your neck make a series of noises somewhat similar to a stick being run down an old fashioned washboard, then to top it all I find myself saying "thank you very much and can we do it all again Friday".  One thinks one has lost the plot.

So, end of day one finds me on the sofa, again, with an icepack attached to each butt cheek and a big dose of Tramadol followed by Tamazepam and wondering if i'll ever get any sleep tonight.  .