High's and lows of civvy street

V is now officially unemployed. He has applied for hundreds of jobs and has been to the job center. At last he has recived his lump sum from the army so we can crack on with his assesment for engineers australia. I think it makes sense to keep our options open re getting into oz. the oz army have asked V for the police checks so thats what he will be doing next, hopefully they will be done intime for the interview in July. Either way we are doing all we can to ensure we get a chance of emigrating to oz.

He is very frustratied from all the rejection letters and emails he is getting . Although he is trying to look on the bright side he is getting to spend time with the kids and on Friday helped the school with a bike ride for C's class. He got a buzz out of feeling usefull. 

 Im still plodding on with my course, i sent my 2nd assignment off a week late but it was so hard trying to get it done with the kids off school. I still get days where i wonder what im doing , but at the same time im really enjoying learning about health promotion. I just hope i pass the course.

Ive also got an application ready to send off for a return to practice course at York uni. hopefully getting back on the register, will give me more options once i get to oz and of course in the meantime while we wait to hop over the water.

The course starts in October which is great timing as this health promotion course ends with an end of course assignment in October.

The dr has put me on orlistat again, im not convinced it will help with losing weight. I contacted a private clinic and they said i would be eligible in principle for lap band surgery. Im seriously considering it as my clothes just dont fit me. ive cut right back and all the walking im doing getting the kids to school should help me to lose weight but it doesn't seem to be.

I know my metabolic rate is extreemly low so im not buring calories like i should and i try to eat very healthy. Hopefully when i see the dr next for a weigh in i will have lost weight and he will continue the tablets. If not then im going to seek a consult with the private clinic.

I got a new bike at the weekend so as a family we can go out on rides making use of the many cycle paths around us.

Im having a break from studying today as my left eye is very blood shot and sore, not sure why, possibibly from the new contact lens my optician has got me to try. I shall try tommorow but if it causes my eye to feel sore i shall just go back to my old one.

Well my eye is watering so im off to rest again. 

01:31 - Mon 27 April 2009 - comments {3}

Something to look forward to at long last

Having out of the blue recieved an email from the oz army, it seems this route could be back on for us.

V is having his medical this afternoon, which the results will be sent to the oz army. WE have been given an interview date of the 29th of July. We are trying to not get too excited, but on that day we will know whether it is a yay or nay from the oz army. V is concerned about passing the medical, his hearing being the main factor.

V is still waiting to hear if he has been sucessful with jobs he has applied for and interviewed for. At the moment its hard to judge. I know he is getting bored now and despite me being busy studying has no inclination to do any housework. Yet he used to be the first one to complain about the state of the house when he was working. Im not going to nag him as its just not worth it.

Im currently doing  a research about Beatties model used in health promotion, ive got till the 16 th to get it sent off. My brain certainly is getting over load at the mo. Im enjoying this course though, even though it is a big challenge for me. Im no longer doing essays but projects and 2 small (750) words summaries. Im finding this harder than writing a 1500 or 2000 word essay.

Im glad i passed my first assignment as it has given me a little more confidence.

Im off to Arran on Monday till Sunday so V can sort out his dad's car and we will be away for D's 11 birthday . The kids are looking forward to the break and seeing every one on Arran.

When we get back ive got appointments with the contact lens people and im going to see if im suitable for laser eye treatment. V thinks it may be worth it for me, so i will see what the opticans think. Ive also got a review with the dr about my thyroid treatment. AS my weight has just kept going up im getting very worried, my BMI is now nearly 35. Im going to ask about lap band surgery to see if im a suitable candiate. I try so hard not to eat the wrong foods and my diet is usually very healthy so for the weight to be keep rising is causing me a lot of anxiety. Especially if my weight could cause problems getting into oz.

Spring has certainly arrived and with it my mood has lifted , sitting at my desk and looking out at blue skies certainly is doing me some good.

Well id best get back to the research as assignments dont do themselves. 

12:03 - Thu 2 April 2009 - comments {1}

Mothers day

Once a gain a day filled with memories of my gran. We all went to church this morning, there was a christening on of  2 children, a lovley service. Although D was babtised as Cof E the service was very different to how i remember his christening. AS the vicar from this church had vouched for us on D's application to sfx, it was only right that we should up hold the promise and go to her church. It was a very welcoming place, which was good as the kids were a little nervous. C is methodist like my self so things felt strange for him a few little changes than the methodist church we last attended. J went out to junior church and made me a lovley mothers day card and posy. D was a little miffed at having to go to church seen as we have now found out that he cant get a place at sfx as it is full in his year group. WE could appeal to the govenors of the church but to be honest as we have been non practising church goers for a long time i didn't think we stood a chance, against the kids who go every week and were confirmed c of e.

Hopefully we can still get in at either  Richmond or Bedale High.

Any how back to mothers day, V was not organised at all, all i asked for were some nice flowers , no choccys. AS he left it till the last minute with the boys the shops had no flowers. So when i woke up on Sunday morning to a plate of cold jam and toast (at least they tried) and a cuppa, i was presented with a sweeping brush, ( i was very diplomatic and said thank you to the boys whilst giving V the look), the boys had made lovley cards for me, which really made it special. i go choccys and a cd (take that circus) so i could grumble about that. i then asked V what he was cooking for my special dinner, he replied pizza from the take away. I must confess i was starting to feel a little annoyed at him, he had been told that i would not be cooking and i expected either for him to make an effort and cook a proper meal from scratch like i do and like my dad does for my mam. If he could not so that then to make sure he knew a place to take us for a meal out. AS usual it was lasr minute dot com. I ened up on the lap top looking for some where to go, but when we got there it was fully booked up. so we drove round till we eventually found somewhere that could cater for the 5 of us.

I think V realised he had been useless as usual at organising something special.

I keep thinking back to days gone by when mothers day was a time for kids to show how much they appreciated the mother/ granmother of the family. Last year we were in Germany and it felt strange as it was only 3 months since my gran had died. I still thought of her and wanted to put flowers on her grave, but V didn't fancy the drive up just for that. hmm!

I spoke to my mum and told her that a card was on its way, i had asked V to post them last week, he eventually posted them on Saturday. I suppose despite me studying and him being bored and watching day time tv is a good excuse for nothing getting done.

Any way enough of the whinging, V is on his way down south as he has an interview tommorow assessing the young soldiers for NVQ's. Im not too sure how things will pan out if he gets offered the job, as he would have to live down there in furnished accomadation ( if he can find any) and  i would need a car for getting around here. so financially i dont think we would be better off. Once again he would be home late friday and leaving on Sunday afternoon. Im not sure i fancy living like that again even if it is only for a few months till he can get another job closer to home.   

I do feel for V he is fed up with hardly any positive replies from the jobs he is applying for. It hasn't helped that our estate agents in charge of the house we rent out havent paid the rent for last month. WE have phoned, text, emailed and short of using carrier pigeon have used every means possible to find out why the rent has not been paid in to the bank. AS our funds are extreemly low, which is why V has gone for an interview so far south.

Well id best get this assignment finished before i get a telling off from my tutor    

11:10 - Mon 23 March 2009 - comments {0}

South lakes zoo

Yesterday we finally got to take the kids to the zoo as part of their birthday treat. Last weekend was so wet and windy there was no way we could go. So we set off with a flask of tomato soup for the boys and coffee for us, sarnies and pasties.

We had a great day, despite it taking a good 2 hours V had thought it took only an hour. Why he did not listen to me when i told him it was longer than that i dont know.

the ring tailed lemurs again stole the show, last time we went a few years ago for the boys birthday there was snow on the ground and a chill in the air. C got attacked by an emu who slipped on the snow. so he was wary this time. However he was brave enough to take a photo up close of an emu on his own camera.

The boys actually took time to read the posters about the animals this time instead of just charging up to see them in action.

I treat myself to a lovley picture of a giraffe with the map of Africa in the background. Its what i consider a warm picture and ive found the ideal spot in our living room.

Last night a sleepy J said it was the best day ever, he loved it and looking at the photos he took on his camera he could be a photographer when he is older. He captured a lovely peacock and is very proud of it. So im going to get it printed off and framed to go in his room.

C was amazed by the lemurs running around and jumping over the barriers, one brushed past him and virtually put his bum in his face. He thought it was soft and cuddly and was chuckling about it  at bed time.

It was late and dark by the time we got home, after a quick bath/shower it was time for bed.

This morning it was like waking the dead, luckily we still made it to school on time.

Today is the dead line for the appeal letters, we drove down to Harrogate on Saturday to ensure the education authority got the forms on time.

We have a meeting with SFX on Wed with D  hopefully it will help in the decision the lea make about where D is to recieve his senior schooling.

Our main argument was about the lea giving a place at a school we had not chosen, mainly a failing school. so hopefully the letter V has written will be good enough.

Any way  im half way though my assignment , which this time is in 3 parts of 500 words each, ive almost finished the 1st part before my brain got foggy. So after my lunch id best get back to it.

01:05 - Mon 16 March 2009 - comments {0}

Back in the UK and wishing we were in oz

Finally found time to up date the blog.

The house is lovley and the estate is quiet, neighbours lovley. Kids are happy at their new school and have settled in really well. Despite only being 45 mins away from Durham my parents have still not been to visit our new home. It was J's 7th birthday today and not even a card from them although they phoned this morning while he was still in bed.

I made a bananna bread cake and used roll out icing on and got candles that spelt his name . He was well impressed.

The boys now go to beavers, cubs and scouts and love it. its such a relief to see my boys happy.

V still hasn't got a job lined up and money is tight, so much so that we havent managed to sent of the engineers australia stuff to go matilda yet. Will have to wait for V's pension money to come through next month.

Im enjoying my new course and feeling confident doing it. Ive got my first assignement due in on the 12th but im still catching up with the reading and course work. Cant be helped what with moving and having not internet for a few weeks made it difficult.

The only problem we are having is D got turned down for a place at Richmond school although we can appeal. The put his name down for a local school which is under emergency measures for failing its students. No way is D going to that school. WE have today recieved a prospectus from the local catholic/coe school which we had as second choice. So we are going to try and get him in there. As he new freind at his current school will be going there to.

Not much more to add, apart from i cant believe the snow we have had in catterick. I hate the cold and long for the warmth of oz.

Its V's 40th tommorow , then C's 9th birthday on Sunday so if the weather is ok we are off to the south lakes zoo in the lake district on Saturday. Going to church on sunday to the place we got C and J christened.

Its strange living on the edge of the garrison and no longer part of the army, its strange having V home all the time, well its only been 3 weeks. Saying that family is good.

Well thats it for now. 

09:34 - Wed 4 March 2009 - comments {1}

Surrounded by boxes

My whole life is slowly being boxed up ready for Thursday . As i was going through some of my drawers i found a letter from Ina, possibibly the last letter i got from her before she died, i then found a lovley card from my granma  to the boys, in it she described what her and granda were up to. I welled up as i read it, i miss them all so much. When ever i moved house and opened the door to my new house there was always a card on the door step from Ina and my gran.  this time there will be none. There will be no more excited phone calls describing the new house and thanking them for the cards.

AS i was clearing out stuff and decluttering i realised that some ornaments and keepsakes can never be replaced so they will come with us where ever we go. However there are some stuff i have that mean very little to me, things i bought and or have been given that i no longer need or like so i will get rid of. It has been a somewhat theraputic yet painful process. like finding old letters. I can never part with them. Some are from when i training to be a nurse. They are part of my history.

Im glad im leaving Germany now, the past year has not been a kind year for us out here. Its a clean start, a chance to put a few demons behind me.

We start life as a civvy family and not another army family. I know our move to Catterick will be a tempoary move while we wait for the visa process to take shape.

I know emigration is a roller coaster of emotions and seeing the fires in Victoria made me realise just what being in Australia and in Victoria may mean. There may be risks in living in a hot country. The heartache i felt watching the devestation to a place i hope one day to call home. I imagined what my family would feel knowing we were living there if another fire happened. Despite the emotions i know in my heart that i would rather take the risk of living in a country where things can happen such as fires, hurricans and other natural disasters.

Every time i feel some doubts creaping in to my mind, i can my gran saying life is always full of dangers but if you try and avoid them you will miss out on a good and exciting life. You could get run over by a bus just walking across the road to get a loaf of bread.

I know pur roller coaster has been along one and our first avenue has come to nothing, but we will try another and hope it pays off.

Moving back to the UK gives me a chance to say my goodbyes properly to family and freinds who have affected my life both positivly and negativly. If we had gone from Germany straight to oz i could not have done that.

AS V says we can sort our life out and do what is important before we finally can say goodbye to the UK.

My Uncle Steve used to say life is what you make it, just go out and live it. Those special people who were a big part of my life that are no longer on earth im sure follow me and help me make the right choices in life.

WE may be going to Catterick, with no job in the offering, with my final OU course to get my BSc, money may be tight but i know if we pull together as a family we can make it.

Ive more packing to do so i shall see ya when i get to Yorkshire  

07:31 - Tue 10 February 2009 - comments {1}

A week to go then its civvy street

I cant believe this time next week the army house will be handed over , the removal van will have all our possesions, the car will be loaded to the gunnals and we will be driving through Europe to get the single trip from Rotterdam to Hull.

 V found out yesterday that he had not got the job in Linton. So back to the drawing board. I was searching the jobs boards all last night, found a few of interest for him.

D is still causing us some concern at school, part of it im sure is the fact that his teacher is obnoxious and is picking on the lad. However im well aware of his faults so im still trying to ensure he keeps his head down and gets a good school report.

V and I have both been ill over the past 2 weeks. V was ill most of last week and still has the husky voice (rather sexy). I spent Monday- Wednesday in bed . just as well im feeling a bit better as its my ladies night out tonight so i can say good bye to the good girlys who have helped me stay sane whilst living here.

Ive got a million and one jobs to do so best crack on.

09:11 - Fri 6 February 2009 - comments {2}

Its all coming together now, feeling more relaxed about the move.

V got back in the early hours of yesterday morning and so much has been sorted out by us for the move back to the UK.

V loved the house when he saw it and my gut feelings when i saw it were correct, great area to bing up the boys and big enough to give us space. the only issue he has was the pale coloured walls and pale carpets , with 3 boys that is going to be tricky to keep it clean. So we have thought of a way round that. We will get some very large rugs or carpet off cuts and put over the pale carpets, so at least i will be able to relax more. I was impressed when i saw the video footage and photos he took of the place.

V was more than impressed with the school and having read the most recent ofstead report i feel happy that ive chosen a good school. V felt the school was small enough for the kids to be made welcome, there are also some army kids go to the school and the staff fully understand how unsettling it can be for kids who move schools frequently. The only problem we have is D goes to senior school in September and the school in our catchment area is under special measures and was very badly reported on in their ofsted report. V also saw some of the kids coming out of the school smoking. I had already looked up other schools near enough and i may be able to get him into Richmond school it has an excellent reputation. I emalied the head and he said in principle D could go to the school but its up to the school administration dept, he also said i would be responosible for getting him to school as he is out of the catchment area. However i do know kids from the garrison go to the school and there are buses availabe. I should of applied for his school place last October but obviously we wern't in a psotion to do so. However i shall fight to get him in to this school as no way to i want him to go to the school in the catchment area.

V has come back from his interview feeling very confident there is another candidate to be interviewed so V should know with in the next few weeks as to whether he has the job or not.

We have decided to take Hammy the hamster back with us, after a quick call to check on the rules with DEFRA there are no problems and he doesn't need a pets passport or anything like that . Just need to get the Vet to pass him as been healthy enough to travel to show the ferry company. We also need to get him an appropriate travel box.

Benji just needs to have a tick and tapeworm treatment on the day before we travel as his rabies jab is still ok. His booster lasts 3 years so he wont need doing till 2010.

The removals are booked for Thurday 12th the army take the quarter over on Fiday 13th (worried about that) and we travel on the overnight sleeper ferry that night. Furniture arrives on the Monday . The kids will be staying at my parents once we arrive till we get the house sorted which is way moving during the holidays is so good .

The OU have sent me a letter to say that despite the evidence i produced and what i felt were valid reason to have my exam result checked, they have decided not to re-score my exam. So that is that. I shall now be continuing on with the Open BSc degree with out honours.

Maybe if i can afford it or if i feel the desire to do another course to gain my hons degree in Health and Social care i will but for now i shall continue my efforts to pass my new course which starts soon. My study materials have still not arrived and i am getting worried, if they are not here by Monday i shall chase them up.

Next week is my cleaners last day and i shall really miss her she really has been a godsend in helping keep the house the way i like it. Ive told V if he gets the i would very much like to get another cleaner to do the basics while im concentrating on my course. I dont whether it is the done thing or not but i will buy my cleaning angel a bouquet of flowers and a card from us. I know some of the officers wives have treat her badly and more or less treat her like a servant. I however have never felt like that towards her. I always felt a bit strange paying someone to clear up after us, when essentialy i would normally do it. But without her dedication to her job my house would be a mess. I just hope i can find another person who i feel comfortable with to come in once a week and sort the house out. 

It will be strange moving back to the garrison, after nearly 7 years away from the area. Both C and J were born in the area and we did enjoy living there. It will be strange being surrounded by army units but not part of them any more. Our closest freinds who are both still in Iraq have told me recently that they are putting in their preference postings to the garrison when they get back. that would be so cool to have our freinds around for a little while.

We are still very much planning on going to oz though i suspect a few people in the family think it wont happen now. We have decided to just keep plodding on with the application, doing all the stuff for Engineers Australia is certainly a lengthy process. Just as V thinks he has done it he re checks and thinks of something else he better put in for the CDR. It will get to Go Mattilda then our fate is in their hands as it were.

Well ive waffeled on enough id best get some work done.    

10:36 - Fri 23 January 2009 - comments {0}

A manic week organising for the move back to the UK

V finally got the call, he has an interview so it has been all systems go. His interview is on Wed in North Yorkshire. The army will pay for the travel back to the UK and hotel costs for one night. So technically he should travel Tuesday for the interview Wed. But he got the ok to travel earlier. after all he has to relocate his whole family and needs to sort accomadation and schooling. so he is going to travel back on the early hours of Monday, will stay monday night at my parents and while there will catch up on sleep , get his suit drycleaned and a few other things. Then Tuesday he has arranged to view the house we are going to rent as well as sort the paperwork out , then i made an apt for him to see the head teacher at the school near to the rental. Interview Wed morning and then back on the ferry late Wed night. poor bloke is going to be so knackered.

As we are going to an area we are familiar with and enjoyed living i think we should be ok living in Catterick Garrison. Hopefully we will only be there for a year and then will be on our way to oz.

V is almost finished his CDR then he will be sending it off to go matilda and providing its ok it will then go to Engineers Australia. We is trying to get assessed as an Engineering Manager and if sucessful he will apply for sponosship from Vic gov as they have now included the EM on the skills list. Although V will be 40 with sponsorship and being on the MODL it will give him enough points.

Im still waiting for my new course material to arrive so i can crack on with proper studying. Ive tried using the PDF's but reading from the screen was hurting my eyes too much and giving really bad headaches .

Ive been thinking about what i want to do with my life when we get to oz. Providing i get my BSc i will be eliigble to go on a graduate entry nursing course which lasts 2 years and will give be registered nurse status. In theory it sounds very appealing, however it would mean i would be going back to fulltime uni and training and i would be 40!!!. I found it strange that Sydney uni do the same graduate entry course resulting in a Master of Nursing qualification. Sounds very grand. So i could have a BSc MN after my name. Where as the other places offering the graduate nursing programme it would be BN. Im going to look more into it. I would still like to get into the alcohol and drug work but it seems i in need expereince before i can do the diploma course.  Which is tricky as ive no expereince at all.

The reason ive been thinking about doing the graduate nurse training is that the enrolled nurse training would still be the same length of time but the same end result..

Late last week i spoke with the back to nurse practice course co ordinator and the next available course i could do is in October which is not good timing as it would be 15 weeks long. If we have a visa almost sorted by then , i dont really want to hang around and do the course.

The only thing that has been stoping me from getting on with applying for registration with vic nursing board is the problem with a professional reference from my last employer. So since im going to be living close enough to where i last worked im going to call in and see the matron and try and sort that problem out. If she will agree to give a basic reference then i will try and register with vic . that will at least enable me to do a return to nurse course while living in oz and may give me more options on how my career should progress.

I am so looking forward to getting to oz and being able to have new challenges and a different type of life.

Staying in the UK permanetly does not appeal , even if i did a return to nurse course in the UK i have been told it would be nigh on impossible for me to get work as an EN. Ive looked into to a nursing course, but i would not get a bursary due to already having a degree(that is if i pass). Long term being in the Uk does not give us the options and the life we want to live.

V realises that the UK can only be temp, our life needs to be in oz. this winter has affected me quite badly, ive not felt warm unless the heating has been on high. ive not being able to breath as the air has been so cold, ive been quite miserable , ive got no energy to go outside. walking the dog leaves me freezing . I will be so glad when this snow has thawed and i can see blue skies and the sun.

Any way its time for a cuppa , ive waffelled on enough  

10:47 - Fri 16 January 2009 - comments {1}

On the move again

Yesterday was really hectic getting the unpacking done and sorting out our move back to the UK.

We have got a rental sorted out now (reference just need checking) and are aiming to move in during the Feb half term hols. 41 Days !!!!!!!!!

Ive got a primary school sorted out , awaiting the paper work to fill in. V has been told that the interviews will be sometime in the next 2 weeks and he is the strongest candidate for the job(according to the recruitment company). The paperwork is in for the removal company, the army will move us back to the UK at no cost to us, well i suppose 22 years service deserves it. Next week the army come round to do a pre march out and tell us what we will be charged for damages and what we need to do to hand the house over to them.

Ive also sent a letter with support from my Dr to query my exam result to see if my circumstances warrented another look at my exam. If nothing positive comes from it i will continue on with qualifying with an open BSc degree. If they do change their minds and award me the extra point for my exam then i will follow the BSc (hons) in Health and Social Care. Either way providing i pass my course im about to start then i will complete my degree this year and graduate in December or Jan next year.

Im feeling much more positive about the future now, having some where to live after our army life finishes is a relief. Next week im going to start via my PDF booklet with my new OU course. AS moving just as the course has started is not good planning but thats life.

I got an email from the return to practice co ordinator for the North East this morning so if i can sort  a course to enable me to retun to being registered  with the NMC then it will make life easier.

V is slowly sorting out his Engineers Australia paperwork and hopes to get it sent to go matilda before we move to the UK.

As far as we are concerned moving back to the UK for possibilbly up to a year will give us a chance to tie up lose ends and sort the stuff more easily for emigrating to oz . V obviously is not informing the potential employer of our plans to emigrate, as he needs this job to enable to afford to live in the UK while we wait.

well ive got loads to do still so id best crack on as the kids will be home in a few hours and i want their rooms sorted out before they get in    

11:15 - Fri 9 January 2009 - comments {2}

A hectic time over Christmas and New year

Arrived in Hull on Christmas day and spent an okay day with my parents and single sister. The kids loved it of course. Boxing day was great it spent with good friends and their kids, we havent seen each other for over 2 years but it felt like it did when we saw them every weekend.

New year was freezing on Arran, so cold we bought a an electric blanket as soon as the shops opened and hot water bottles for the cold.

In some ways i hope that will be our last in freezing conditions.

V has got an interview for a job near York and hopefully he will get it we have lined up a rental in Catterick Garrison.

I shall do a proper up date later on, as ive got the decs to take down , cases to un pack, shopping to get in and of course laundry to start.

08:31 - Thu 8 January 2009 - comments {0}

I will get a degree after all.

After speaking with an educational advisor i have decided not to resit my exam, the stress would be too much for me to cope with. Instead i  have changed the degree i am aiming for. I am no longer going for the BSc in Health and Social Care with honours. Instead once i have completed and passed my next course i will be able to graduate with a BSc open degree with no honours. I still have the option of topping up my degree to honours at a later date if i want to .

Now ive made the decision i feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. In the past i would have thought i was taking the easy route or the cowards way out. My parents may even feel that is what i have done. But having suffered the breakdown i dont want to over load the amount of stress i will have. The exam would be in April and i would be a few months into my next course by then, possibibly even doing an assignment at the same time. So to ensure i pass my next course i am going to concentrate all my efforts on to that. I feel that is the most sensible thing to do. Especially when i dont know where i am going to be living after the new year. Nor do we know when we will get to live in oz.

V is still applying for jobs in both oz and the UK and unfortunatly still not getting anything positive.

However we did get an email from South West Victoria about a recruitment team looking for work with sponsorship avaliable, so there is still some hope.

Well ive got a mountain of laundry to do so best get on   

10:38 - Mon 15 December 2008 - comments {2}

Looking at my options

Ive had time to reflect on failing my exam. Thank you every one for the supportive messages. They meant a lot to me.

I cant get a remark, its not OU policy. I can do a resit or i can try and get consideration to be taken about my breakdown. However i should have informed the OU 7 days after my exam at the latest. Although they may accept a dr stating that at the time i did not realise i was on auto pilot till i had recovered at the stage im at now.

Another option that is more appealing to me is that of changing my BSc in health and social care (hons) to an open BSc with out honours. Im waiting to find out is this is possible from the OU.

If this is a case it wont matter about failing my exam as long as i pass my next course which starts in Jan/ Feb. It also means i will still graduate at the end of 09.

So i shall have to wait to see.

V is now trying to find work in the UK to tide us over till we get to oz while ive been looking at houses to rent. We have seen a really nice old vicarage which we can rent for 6 months, its huge and cheaper than some of the more modern lego style houses.

Im starting to try and get over the obstacles that seem to be in the way at the moment.

well best get on with tea, the kids are starving lol 

05:27 - Sat 13 December 2008 - comments {2}

Totally gutted and upset, failed my exam

I can barely type through the tears. Just seen on my OU website that i have failed my exam, by one measly point. I can resit the exam component but i think it has to be in April. I dont know where i will be living then.

Im in limbo. We have to go back to the UK to live. V has applied for a job in North Yorkshire on a RAF base, if he gets that he starts in Feb. Ive enguired about an old vicarage to live in on the outskirts of Bishop Auckland, its only a 6 month let but hopefully it will help us get sorted.

So what am i going to do about my failed exam?

My new course starts in Feb and its one ive been looking forward to for over a year. My live at the moment is all hinged on what ifs.

Having worked so damm hard on a course i didn't enjoy i dont know if i have the strength to re sit the exam. If i do i dont want it to have a knock on effect on the course i will have started.

To fail by one point is really hard to accept. I know others failed the course too but they haven't got another course starting.

This year i think has had to be one of the worst years ive had in a long time.

11:22 - Wed 10 December 2008 - comments {5}

Temporary plans to go to the UK, till we get a visa

Whether we like it or not reality is that we will now to be relocate to the UK for possibibly up to a year.

We finally got word back from the oz army and they are not recruiting V's rank as thay have to many and only need Cpls so that is no good for us. so our reserve plan is quashed now.

We have now decided to use a migration agent and after emailing 3 highly recommended agents that use BE we have plummed for go matilda. The consultant whom i have spoken with has advised that they can ensure that V has the best possible chance of passing his skills assesment with Engineers Australia and get assessed as either a mechamical Engineer or even Engineer manager. they have read his CV and his career history and feel confident that it is possible. So with their help we hope to start the visa process asap.

So where do we live in the UK? we cant possibly live with family for up to a year, a few months maybe but no more. so ive been on rental websites and the cheapest rental areas that i could find for a 4 bedroom house were in Hull. Having done my EN training there and having a few friends still in the area and a cousin who works in the automotive industry im thinking of getting in touch with him and seeing what suitable work there would be for V.

We are still gutted that we have to move back to the UK, and we will have to start making plans as once Christmas is over then it wont be long till V is out of the army. Luckily we will have his army pension to supplement us in case he cant work for a few months.

I think realistically although i will be doing my fial OU course im going to have to try and get a return to nurse course done and get my self re-registered with the NMC.

Ive given up trying to register with NSWNB as they were putting do many obstacles in the way which i could not get over. so after emailing NBV i was advised to phone them up and speak directly to the registration board. So Wednesday night i stayed up late and spoke to alovely woman who informed me that in Victoria they take each individual applicant as a seperate case so those that dont fit the criteria exactly  have a good chance of still gaining registration. Even though i have not worked for nearly 6 years now, they are still happy to process me providing my last employer can confirm that i did work and my hours and role i had. So ive got my fingers crossed that my ex boss will do that for me. They are quite happy for me to show copies of old pay statements for my previous jobs as well.

If that is not going to work out then i will use my degree (providing i pass) and do an extra diploma course in Alcohol and Drug counselling. Then when i do finally get to oz i have the option of working in the welfare or social work field.

Its been of a crappy week for V getting so many knock backs from jobs he has applied for that he has been a little down with it all. which is proabaly why i took the bull by the horns and contacted migration agents.

AS V's attempts have proved fruitless as they people he spoke with gave him a load of rubbish.

The cold weather has really affected my mood too, i hate feeling cold and all the snow and the chill factor have meant i have rarely left the house other than the school run. Even then if i could i got V to take the boys.

WE have yet another busy Saturday with the boys and football, last  Saturday, C had his match at 12 we had to be there at 11.30 for the warm up etc. It was freezing on the touch lines, which the fact V broke the flask did not help. After C's match D's started by which time my feet were so cold i could barely stand . How the boys didn't feel the cold i do not know. any how it took nearly 2 hours for me to defrost once i was in the house.

So this Saturday, D has a match in one place he is going with his mate and dad. C has a match at the other side of town then in the afternoon they have an indoor tournament at the football club. Ive told V i will watch the tournament but i will keep J at home with me. ( he got so bored watching the football and made a bit of a nuisence of him self).

Well thats my news , on with sorting things out for the dreaded move to the UK.

10:22 - Fri 5 December 2008 - comments {2}

Hopes of a job are dashed today

Still realing from the email that stated V was not going to be shortlisted for the jobs he applied for with Thales. Thing what annoyed me is they sent emails that sounded very promising. so we are back to square one. Feeling gutted for V as he cant understand why he is getting knock backs. Especially when he feels his skills are very much wanted.

However we did get an email out of the blue from a rep from Warambool on the Southern Coast of Victoria. When we were at the expo in Leeds in October we handed out CV's to lots of people and to be honest cant remeber who got one.

Anyhow we have been placed on a data base for skilled migrants and our details passed on to a recruiting agent.

I just really hope we get some good news soon as the time is getting closer to us leaving Germany and we will have no where to live and no job to go to.

09:18 - Tue 2 December 2008 - comments {1}

Dilemma, not sure what to do

Well operation oz is not going to plan that is sure.

One of the jobs that V was going for with Thales is a no go, but he did apply for 2 more with them so fingers crossed that something comes of them.

We now have to think what we are going to do if we cant get to oz in April when V is officially out of the army and we are homeless.

1 Stay with my parents, not ideal although a 5 bedroom house it is very cluttered and i feel claustrophobic there.

2 Stay with V's parents on Arran, plenty of places for the kids to play but only a 3 bed house and Benji would be a problem as Tinker is living there now and their last encounter when we lived in the UK saw Benji try to eat Tinker.

3 Kick our tennents out and move back to our home which could be for a month or a year (we just dont know) then we may have problems getting a tennent to move back in.

4 Look for a rental for ourselves not sure where or for how long

5 try and get a house in Germany and stay here till we move, however the kids would have to go to a German school and we would not get the army perks we have now.

6 Pray that some how an employer will sponsor V and we can move to oz ASAP.

My brain is hurting with trying to decide what we should do.

V is applying for his assessment with engineers Australia and is doing the CDR in the hope he gets Mechanical Engineer. But even that wont allow us to get to oz by April.

So im praying and hoping that our plans suddenly start to work the way we want it to.

11:33 - Fri 28 November 2008 - comments {1}

Its snowing in Paderborn

Friday when i was walking to the bus stop to get D of the bus the snow started, it was really bad overnight. D's football match was cancelled due to the bad weather on saturday. Thankfully we had a reprieve yesterday and managed to get to the Christmas fayre. However we woke up this morning the snow has came back with avengence. Ive just walked the kids to school and ive come back resembling a snowman. A bowl of porridge has warmed me up apart from my toes.

The kids of course love all this snow, as i did when i was a kid , But now im a sensible adult id much rather be snug in the house drinking a cappachino with a dash of baileys.(only on a night mind.

Still not much happening on the operation oz front.

07:44 - Mon 24 November 2008 - comments {1}

So frustrated at lack of news from potential employer

Why is it a company makes all the right noises so you start getting excited that you could be getting sponsorship and plans can start to be made.

Then you hear nothing despite emails and requests to find out when is the best time to speak with them.

As time creeps on we need to make plans on what to do when V is out of the army, do we put our furniture in storage and live on Arran with V's family, do we live with my family (not an option i really want too crowded)

V is getting so disheartened he has applied for loads of jobs that he is capable off and when Thales got in touch we thought yay we have a good prospect here. V has even told them tha tif they could sponsor him for either the ENS or RSMS he could leave the army before April as early as late Jan/ Early Feb, would be a rush but we are so desperate to get to oz. Its our dream and it seems as though it could be slipping away from us.

Im now classed as a lapsed enrolled nurse now, feels weired not being able  just get a job any more. I have decided that should we get to oz , once ive got my degree i shall do one  more course but at TAFE and do a alcohol and drug course so i caould work as a case worker or counsellor, as i think i may be more suited to welfare and health related work. Time will tell, so far every plan we have made something has come along to change things, sometimes for the better other times for the worse. (if that makes sense)

Last weekend we had a proud parent moment when C on his debut for his football club came away with the man of the match. He played his little heart out, the team lost 2-3 but i was still proud. He did have a match to play tommorow but the bad weather has caused it to be cancelled. D however still has an away match to go to in the afternoon. The boys are really enjoying their football. It seems to have boosted their self confidence up.

D got a hamster on Sunday, for free, its called sleepy although D calls it hammy. I hardly see it as it lives up to its original name. Benji is not sure about it and keeps pestering it, poking his nose up to the bars and staring at the poor mite. We think Benji may be allergic to it as after pestering it he coughs like he has a fur ball. And no the hamster is not in his mouth lol. 

Winter is certainly here in Paderborn, the heating keeps getting turned up as the temp keeps dipping and i start shivering. Despite the wolly jumpers and hats and gloves coming out im still freezing taking the kids to school. To add to my cold misery, it has been so wet and windy. the lights have been on most of the time as it is so dark too. I reckon it wont be long before the snow starts. At least  the kids will be happy. ( just looked out of the window and it has indeed started a hail/sleet/snowy rain) great , my poor cleaner has to walk to the bus stop in this.

Ive not heard from my freinds who went to Iraq last week, as they say no news is good news. I hope they stay safe.

Well my hands are numb with the cold and i cant type with gloves on , so im off for a warming cuppa

11:00 - Fri 21 November 2008 - comments {1}

The up and downs of this migration roller coaster

Despite V emailing Thales about arranging a chance to have a chat to see what the prospect of getting a job with them, we have heard nothing.

Thing is they have indicated that they are keen on employing him, they just need him in oz.

V has finally got his IENG rubber stamped, so his next stage is to get his CDR done for engineers australia. Hopefully he will get assessed as a Mechanical engineer, which will enable a 175 or 176 to be applied for. However if all he gets is the ME technologist then our choice of visa is very limited. With out employer sponsorship we would only be able to apply for the regional visa for queensland. An area we dont really want to go to. But getting to oz for us is so important we would have to do it.

One minute we think we have things sorted, then something comes along to cast doubt over whether we can actually get a visa.

ah well back to the real world and the house work 

07:57 - Wed 19 November 2008 - comments {0}