It really feels different now folks. All these years of dreaming (15) about it and it's about to happen, and suddenly I feel soooo selfish.

I know I've built up Australia as some kind of heaven on earth in my head but I DID have THE best year when I was there so I can't help that. Saying that, I know there's a lot of water under the bridge in the 15 years since I was there. Aus has changed and I'm now a 36 yo Mother and wife, not a 21 yo backpacker. But, I'm kind of glad it will have changed (and the bits I'll see will have changed too - no more backerpackers hostels)....it means that OH and I can learn all about Australia together, it's just that there'll be "some" familiarity for me which hopefully will help a little.

I feel elated one minute, scared to death the next. 

My Mum and Dad are coping well on the front but I know they are broken hearted and it's tearing me apart to see it. I just want to get on the plane so that not only we can get settled and move on, but so that family here can see that life goes on, we're still alive, and in regular contact.

6 weeks til Mike finishes work and we depart for the airport on the 27th.
If this is how I feel now, how on earth am I gonna feel nearer the time. Think now's the time to start smoking again.

Watch this space, it's going to be a rocky ride.

Oh, nearly forgot.  Mike's cousin Gillian has booked a family gathering and sent us an invitation to it yesterday.  And the date?...........the day AFTER we fly .