Did the dutiful daughter thing yesterday and returned a pile of stuff to my parents which we''d borrowed a loongggg time ago.  We ended up staying for a few hours and had a good blether with them.  Late on, Dad said that he'd been thinking of organising us a going away party and when did we think would be a good time to do it.

I am very torn on this subject.  A bit of me wants to celebrate with all our family and friends, but the other side of me says no way as I'd probably just be a quivering wreck in the corner cuddling the large bottle of wine and blubbing about how much I love everyone - even the ones I NEVER see from one year to another!!

Anyway, Mike agreed that it really wasn't right and that we'd rather have several smaller affairs.  Dad was quite happy with that, and suggested a BBQ with Mike's family in June instead that was more of a get together than a goodbye.  Cool.

As the conversation turned to our actual departure my Dad said "I don't think we will come to the airport to say goodbye".  He then pointed to the kids who were blissfully watching Dora The Explorer (or as Rebecca calls it Dora Next Doora) and said he didn't want the kids to be upset.  He remembers how horrendous the goodbyes were at Edinburgh Airport when I left for Oz in 1992 for my year out.  It really was horrible.  I cried the WHOLE way to London and my head ached most of the way to Thailand as a result.  On the flight to London, the stewards were killing themselves laughing at me and said "you're not just going for a weekend in London are you?"

Mike and I had already decided we wanted to do the whole airport thing oursleves but dreaded telling our parents this as we know how hard this all is.  So, it was a huge relief to see we're all singing from the same hymn sheet so to speak.  As we discussed this, I could see both my Mum and Dad, and me too, were all welling up and I can tell you, I am NOT proud at all that I have made my family so sad.

On a positive note, we all agreed that we will probably stay with them the night before we go and say our goodbyes at my Mum and Dad's house.  Then, the four of us, will go stay at the airport hotel and TRY to get a decent night's sleep before the flight.  Although we were all quite sad, talking about this, we were at least talking about it, and we did end up having a laugh about it too.

I felt crap last night once we got home though, I was really feeling low about the move away from my family and I snapped at Mike.  As I mentioned, Mum and Dad have asked all Mike's family over for a BBQ in June and I told them we'd call Mike's Mum and Dad that night and see if they were free.  Then, on the way home, Mike was stalling and saying he would call them later in the week.  I got irrationally upset by this!  I felt that my parents were the ones being positive about the move and doing something lovely by asking his family over.  I felt it was rude not to pursue it just because it might upset Mike's Mum and Dad as it meant talking about the move.  Don't get me wrong, I do not want to upset Mike's Mum and Dad, but I needed Mike to know that although my parents are being generally OK about our move, they are still devastated and it's not just his folks who are feeling bad.  Irrational, yes, I know, but it was all a bit raw last night.  Anyway, a hug sorted it, and Mike decided he should call his Mum right away.

As it turned out, Moira called us, and is delighted with the offer.  Just need to try and get hold of Adrian and Steve now.  Adrian particularly, is proving difficult to pin down right now.