Will the last Englishman out of the country turn the lights out please ?

I'm not a celebrity, but I am sh*t scared

Today, I faced my very own bush tucka trial. Dean Gaffney, you've got nothing on me son. No health and safety people here, just me, and the Aussie spiders, head to head. I had to lift the floor to the deck, for reasons too long to explain here, but I had to run a new cable. I opened up the deck, nothing but spiders webs. After composing myself, I taped loads of kitchen roll to my arms, and dived in. Cables run, job done. Dont fancy doing it again though.

Spent all afternoon in the hot tub, with a bottle of bubbly, as it was a bit overcast. Toby decided to go an inspect my cable run, by slipping under the trellis, and under the house. K had a real tremor in her voice as she was trying to lure him back with a chicken neck, fearing a funnel web spider may bite him or something.

Weather has broken here now, so tomorrow is due to be sunny. We've gotta get our tans on the go before the arrival of Jim and San, otherwise we will never hear the last of it !