Living Like a Small Green Hairy Fruit

Happy Birthday Weekend Mark

14 October 2007

Happy Birthday Mark!  Well, actually being special (needs) Mark has to have a whole weekend to celebrate the anniversary of his arrival on the planet.

He often says I have one more child than he does to look after, namely him! But that does mean he's easy to buy for. We just head for the toy shop.

One year Andrew bought him a mega huge pump action water gun, and then suffered the consequences of his thoughtful gift to dad.

Saturday was spent gardening. I thought it would be safe to run down to the cake store to pick up his birthday cake as he appeared well occupied tending to his vegge patch and he usually doesn't question me if I say I'm just popping to the shop. But being the nosey sod that he is before his birthday he wanted to know where I was going, why, to get what, why did Kaela need to come, etc. I just told him I was nipping down town for some 'stuff' and left.

Sure enough he was on the drive awaiting our return and as soon as I'd parked up, had his nose pressed against the car window checking for any surprises for him. Big kid.

That evening we had invited Liz and Shaun and their two younger kids, Dale and Zach, and Helen and Steve and their 2, George and Jodie, for a party in the rumpus room.  Mark had been busy buying up disco lights on TradeMe and these were up and running and it looked really cool.  We spent the evening sat at the bar, trawling through the cd collection for requests and reminiscing about the 80s, our respective youths (misspent or otherwise).

The boys had shut themselves away in Andrew's room to play PS2 games and whatever else it is that  boys do that always results in the room being stenched out with thick odour.

The girls decided that the adults were going to have a dancing competition. Amazingly we all managed to pick our own halves when drawing dancing partner names from the hat.  Disappointingly though, my partner said he needed to man the bar.  Just in case. In case of what wasn't clarifyied.

 We had to do musical statues, so as you've probably guessed when the music stopped we all carried on dancing so we could get out. But we got told we weren't 'playing the game' so embarrassingly had to continue.  Fortunately they gave up on us shortly after and instead pulled the futon out and piled it up with pillows and duvets and attempted to sleep amidst whirling disco lights, load (boring) 80s music and us talking 'loudly'. (Bit of a cheek complaining really as usually its the kids that our loud and annoying us!).

Liz sat at the end of the bar getting merrily bleary-eyed steadfastly drinking her way through a box of wine, supposedly with soda, but I don't remember Mark even taking the lid of the soda bottle.

(it's not the camera that was out of focus - it was the drunks at the bar! - or possibly me!!!!)

We all sung Happy Birthday and gave Mark his cake, a huge chocolate one in the shape and decorated like a bottle of Jim Beam. But I only put 10 candles on as we wanted to see the cake not just a burning pyre!

Helen, bless her, was sat watching the clock and at exactly 12.03am sung a solo of Happy Birthday, although there was much debate as to whether it was actually his birthday at that time as he was born in Singapore, not New Zealand, and there were various calculations going on to work out time and day differences, but that all made our heads hurt so it was unanimously agreed that he was now officially old.

Eventually Helen and Steve and their 2 left and Liz went off to find Zach to put him to bed as her and Shaun were staying over.  Now Liz had visited the toilet many times during the course of the evening - you know how it is when you've been drinking? You go for hours but as soon as you go to the toilet the first time you then can't stop. Well she'd been gone a while so I went to find her. Good job too as she was trying to get into the airing cupboard for a wee! Bless. Pointed her in the right direction, got Zach to bed, quickly followed by Liz before she feel over.

Ashamedly we were not up in time the next morning to see or say goodbye to Liz and Shaun.  Somehow they've mastered the art of drinking without hangovers so were up and away bright and early.

We had to be out by 10am anyway as I'd planned a birthday surprise outing. Mark had had many attempts at guessing what it could be but was wrong on all counts. We were trying to convince him we'd booked a bungee jump but he wasn't buying it.  We gave him his presents, a kids weight fishing rod (just like the one we'd bought the kids and Mark got all arsey cos it whipped cast better than his one!), an emergency wind-up torch that you could charge any mobile phone on, with a siren, and am-fm radio (in case of an earthquake!), some Rowntree's Fruit Pastilles and a Sherbet Dib Dab (how expensive were they from the English sweet shop!), a Jim Beam t-shirt, an Orange County Choppers t-vest and a tropical bar tenders shirt with palm trees and cocktail glasses - very loud and busy - print, a clock for his workshop made out of a chop saw blade, some biscuits (for joining wood), and a few other bits.

So having done the presents it was time to go. Not bungee jumping but horse trekking and then jet boating.  It was only a 15 minute drive to get there, but not really the best of weather. Bit cold and blowy.

So we got a brief rundown on how to drive a horse. Kaela is frightened of horses so I'd asked that she be led. But she was very brave and tried to relax and just enjoy it.  The plan was 1/2 hours trek, then jet boating whilst the horses waited in the paddock eating grass and generally chilling and then 1/2 hours trek back.  Mark and his steed led our happy little convoy, followed by Andrew who appeared to be nearly sat in his saddle. His little bottom was so lopsided I was sure he would just slip off the horse sideways.  Kaela was next and me and my donkey, Rose brought up the rear.

I say donkey, Rose was more of an ass - a very stroppy, wild eyed, deranged creature who's only interest in tagging along at all was so she could eat.  She lolloped and stumbled along trying to shake me off when I did as instructed with her reigns to try to stop her eating.  In the end one of the walkers came to lead her as she'd really try to throw me off forwards over her neck and then tried to rear up. Kaela saw and I just sat up and smiled and said it was fine was I didn't want her worrying.  Meanwhile, Mark and Andrew were up ahead and doing great.  I was grateful when we got to the paddock as Rose could eat for 1/2 hour and hopefully she'd be ok then for the ride back to the stables.

However, the jet boat was beached on a shingle bank in the middle of the river with a 4x4 trying to pull it free.  In the end they couldn't free it and said to carry on with the horse trek and then go round to another jetty further upstream where they'd have another jet boat waiting for us.

Rose must have been furious! The other horses didn't want to stop eating but eventually they got them to the steps ok and everyone else got on and their horses settled down and were resigned to the fact they were off again.  Ha! Not so Rose. Her eyes were really wild. She eventually let me get on and the lady walking beside me didn't look to happy either and held onto the leader reign with a firm grip.

No sooner had we left the paddock, Rose started again, trying to pull off the path and flinging her head around and stamping her feet (sorry, hooves).  It took two of them to calm her down, which she did and walked along ok.  Kaela's horse was starting to get jumpy to by now.  A little way on and the gravel path rose up with a steep grassy bank either side.  Rose obviously liked the look of the grass and bushes at the bottom of the bank and decided she'd go for it. Fortunately the walker had a tight hold and by this time I'd had enough. She'd really scared me now and I know that would only make her worse. And being as it was Mark's birthday I didn't think a dead wife would be much of a gift. Although he may disagree. So I said I wanted to get off and walk instead.  Kaela instantly wanted down off hers too.  This seemed to cause quite a stir with the walkers but I did assure them we were very happy to walk and they'd done nothing wrong.  We'd only gone a few paces down the path and Rose started rearing up and trying pull away from the guy. He was also holding onto Kaela's horse and she started getting twitchy as well so he really had his hands full.  So a long walk back and to add to the fun, it started to rain.  Not gentle rain, that face stinging sideways rain.  Mark and Andrew were still doing great on their horses, which was good to see.

The rain stopped by the time we got back to the stables and they had hot drinks waiting for us.  The kids went to see the lambs and were allowed in to give them their botttles and pick them up and cuddle them.  Kaela decided lambs were better than horses and she wants one. To keep in her bedroom.

I asked the guy if I could have a horseshoe for the birthday boy. He was more than happy to dig one out of the shed and found a nice shiny silver one, and then walked past Mark and gave it to Andrew, who luckily is so slow on the uptake he didn't correct the guy and say it wasn't for him.

We did the short drive down to the boat ramp where there was indeed a very fine jet boat awaiting.  We were issued with warm gloves, hats, sunglasses and lifejackets and given simple instructions of stay sat, hold on at all times and don't scream.  The wind was so raw it felt like little needles all over your face but I looked over at Mark and he was grinning and laughing and obviously having an awesome time of it so it was well worth it. And when the boat spins you can't help but laugh; it was amazing.  It was a good 1/2 hour up river and back to the boat ramp. Cold and a bit wet but we were all smiling so much our faces hurt. And guess what? Kaela wants a lamb. Mark wants a jet boat!

We popped home quick to get changed into warm, dry clothes and then went out for hot soup and crusty bread. Gorgeous.  We came home and snuggled down in our cosy lounge. Mark put the Fantastic 4 DVD on and I fell asleep.  At the end of the DVD I woke up and then we went out fishing and sheltered under a bridge whilst we did our usual of loosing hooks and spinners in the river and up trees without actually catching anything.

All in all it was a great day and despite the weather Mark really enjoyed himself, especially the jet boat, which, funnily enough is what he's now on the lookout for on TradeMe.