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1996....the good and the very worst
1996 and our first born was half way through her senior year in high school. She had already been accepted at the University of Houston and the first few months of the year were spent reading through the masses of scholarship applications and applying for as many as possible and doing the same with all the student loan forms, it really was an eye opener. Of course the following year would be spent doing much the same when off-spring #2 graduated so we looked at all this as a learning curve....it certainly was!
Our visitors all had their flights booked and would all arrive on the same day but from three different destinations. My usual phone calls to mum increased as the time got closer, she was a bit more concerned about the flight this time as she hadn't been feeling too good but as usual she just blamed her diabetes, she was determined to enjoy her trip again and see her grandaughter graduate.
May rolled around, the heat hit and of course the AC unit protested and decided to completely give up. Not a good time for such a huge expense but it was a necessity and it put a big dent in our budget . The new unit arrived and was up and running two days before our visitors arrived thankfully.
We had two weeks of fun and laughter. It was wonderful to have everyone in our little house. Graduation night was great, mum so enjoyed the ceremony and the great small town atmosphere. The senior class only had 23 students so it was very personal with a great family feel to it. Afterwards we had a back yard party and had all our friends and neighbours over, it was a great night and it really did feel like we were now part of the community.
I spent quite a few days with just mum and me and Auntie while M ferried everyone else around. Mum was tired a lot and was just content to sit and relax and chat. It was nice for me, I missed her a lot and this really was great listening to them both catch up again on their lives. By the end of the two weeks we had even convinced Auntie Margaret to finally go back to the UK for a visit. Mum was just so excited, they could see the old house they had grown up in, see their old Grammar school, they were making so many plans it was so great to hear them.
On the last day before they left we took a ride to the beach. Mum decided she wanted to put her feet in the Gulf of Mexico. M drove our van as close to the water as he could and with me holding mum one side and my sister the other she managed to walk into the sea. It just pleased her so much, when she felt the warmth of the water on her feet she was amazed. It certainly was no Clacton-On -Sea! It was so sad to see them all leave later that day. I cried. It had been a perfect two weeks for me surrounded by so many special people in my life. It took me a while to settle again.
Of course I had to settle and it was back to the grindstone. The rest of the summer was spent working and preparing daughter for college. More tears......September soon rolled around and off she went to her dorm at UofH. Now she was only about 55 miles away but it was still away from home and it was hard to adjust for me, but not for her! She loved it and soon got into the swing of campus life. So now the house was slightly quieter , our son was not quite as social as his sister had been but of course he was now a senior in high school and it seemed it would be a repeat of last year....at least we knew what to expect this time though.
September also brought bad news from back home. Mum still wasn't feeling good, she had no appetite and was extremely tired. The doctor had been to visit, run some blood tests and had ordered a scan. Blood test showed she was very anemic and they were going to admit her. Now this is the point when I don't like having had a nurses training. You think with your nurses hat on . I knew there was something very wrong. My sister, bless her, tried to play it down and told me not to worry but my instinct was telling me the opposite. I needed to be back with her . M told me to hold on, not to panic but I couldn't shake off the feeling that I needed to see her.
I called the hospital and was able to talk to the doctor treating her. He told me she was a very sick lady and it would probably be a good idea to make a trip back as soon as possible. This man told me what I had feared......my mother was dying. I had to go to her right now.
I was a wreck. I couldn't think straight but somehow we managed to get tickets . We left 3 days later, it was the 2nd of October. I talked to mum in my mind all the way back, I begged her to stay strong and fight but deep down I knew that wasn't going to happen.
We arrived October 3rd and we spent 5 days at the hospital by her side and I like to think that some of the time she knew we were there, knew we were holding her hands, rubbing her back, talking to her. She did try to fight, she tried so hard but we all knew she needed to let go and on October 7th with all seven of her children by her side mum took her last breath. She was finally at peace. Our brave and beloved mother had died.
Four months earlier we were standing on a beach paddling in the Gulf of Mexico............now we had to plan a last goodbye. I was devastated.
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Posted: 04:41, Monday 30 June 2008 |
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