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interviewPosted on Sat 20 October 2007 at 10:38 - 0 Comments - LinkWell, that wasn't so bad. I think the interview went well: they didn't come straight out and say, We will offer you a job, but they are going to check my references as soon as possible so that's as good as I could have hoped for.
Thank you so much to all the forum members who have offered me support over the last 2 weeks. And especially to Dee who picked me up from the airport, Jac & Adie for letting me stay over the weekend and to Littletoe (Nicci) for taking me to and from my interview. Yesterday, once I got back from the interview, I felt a bit teary - probably the letting go of all the stress around this whole weekend. I came back and sat in the garden with a book in the sunshine and I think it is the first time in over a fortnight I have done nothing. It felt so good not be constantly fretting and worrying and trying to find something to fill my time.
So, this weekend, I intend to have a look at the suburbs/communities close to the Unit and see if there is anywhere I could see myself and Melissa living, ask about schools, mooch round the rental/estate agencies and generally try to familiarise myself with the area. Missing Melissa but spoke to her yesterday. On my list of 'things to do' is find a riding stables that treksalong a beach somewhere and that will do melissa and I very nicely! rabbit in the headlightsPosted on Tue 16 October 2007 at 10:40 - 5 Comments - LinkThis morning in the Gym almost had me crying for the first time in several days. Nothing special, just pedaling away on the exercise bike and then they started playing sad songs on the sodding Music Channel. REM’s Everybody Hurts came on and I was just about away. So it was head down and pedaling furiously as I don’t want to feel sad and miserable all the time. Thankfully that passed with little more than a trembling lip and screwed up face for 2k or so. But once I got out of the Gym and the sun was shining, I remembered that there is more to life than how I feel right now. It’s amazing how the sun can change my mood – thank God we’re coming into summer soon as that is balm to my soul. I had intended to stay out all morning to keep out of the way of the swarming estate agents. But against my better judgment I ducked back into the house in between the Gym and swimming. I could see several Estate Agent type things on the table so realized they had been and gone. Ah well, I thought, seeing as they have gone, I may as well get changed out of my Gym gear and into my swimming gear. So there I was, stark naked in the bedroom, about to step into my swimming suit. When another car-load of all-male estate agents pulled up outside. Of course, my swimming suit couldn’t possibly be something I could step gracefully into and pull up in one smooth motion. No. It has odd shoulder straps that need to be pulled over my hips and shrugged into. My face must have been an absolute picture – like a rabbit caught in the headlights. I’m frantically pulling up the bloody swimsuit whilst trying to kick all my Gym kit along the carpet and into the bathroom. As if that wasn’t bad enough, my discarded bra hooked into the carpet and I put my foot full on into the cup and just about measured my length beside the bloody bed. Laughing hysterically, I just made it to the bathroom in time! It brightened my morning considerably, I can tell you. I’ve done a bit of prep fro my interview – still wavering between confidence and terror, so the sooner that’s over and done with the better. Ian came over this afternoon, we did another hypnotherapy session. Quite relaxed and mellow this evening, I have even eaten something today so that is a start on the road to normality. When I’m down in/near Bleak HousePosted on Tue 16 October 2007 at 01:48 - 3 Comments - LinkPoppy kitty is now shut firmly in the bathroom as she woke me up yet again and I can't get back to sleep. Bleak just about sums up how I feel right now. The house is pristine - the estate agents come tomorrow to 'caravan' - all the estate agents in the area look over each new property en masse. There is little of us as a family left on display - this house is an empty shell that once held a loving, living family. Those days are gone, like yesterday's promises, never to return as long as we live here.
Things always seem worse in the middle of the night and it certainly isn't any different this night. Earlier on, I heard a loud car in the street and my heart stuttered in my chest. I thought it was Steve coming back. I know without a shadow of a doubt that isn't going to happen. I know with absolute certainty that it wouldn't work even if he did. But this stupid, foolish, ever hoping heart betrayed me and then let me down again. That instant of hope, that tiny flame of anticipation made the crash into reality even harder to bear than usual. The ache is palpable, my throat is thick with unshed tears. But I have already cried an ocean of tears to no avail - there are no tears left, just a melancholy that threatens to envelop my very essence. Dear Lord, will this never end? Most of the time now, I'm better than this but right at this moment, there is no peace, no solace, no sleep, no bright side, no silver lining.
Thankfully, my colleague Ian is meant to be coming again tomorrow for some more hypnotherapy. The first session gave me immense relief but it would seem I am sorely in need of some more right now. I gain a measure of comfort from sharing these things on here, so bear with me, it will eventually cease to hurt and I will be able to start living like a real person and maybe have something interesting to share instead of this litany of dejection, desolation and despair.
Hopefully, tomorrow will bring some sunshine, some hope and some peace as they have deserted me for the moment. back to workPosted on Sun 14 October 2007 at 10:25 - 2 Comments - LinkIt’s been good to get back to work. People were a bit diffident around me initially, not really knowing what to say. I guess it is a difficult situation for others to be comfortable about, God knows I’m not that comfortable with it myself. However, once the newness wore off a bit, it was a comfort to be there. Good to be in amongst other people and definitely good to have something else to think about. I guess there has been nothing else in my head for the best part of a fortnight apart from THE BETRAYAL, which is what it has become in my mind. And it has underpinned every thought and action. So, being back at work will help to put it in perspective and bring me back to some state of normality. I have been asking my colleagues for attestations so I can get on and do some work on my PDRP (professional portfolio), so that I can have it finished before I hopefully move on. Far easier asking them now as I am still there to get on their case! I have some really nice comments so far, so should get it handed in before too long.The estate agent came out on Saturday morning to take photos of the house. I had thought it was tidy initially but of course, once I came back from swimming first thing in the morning, I decided it wasn’t nearly tidy enough so set to in a frenzy of cleaning. I phoned steve up to come and do some outside stuff as I don’t really see why I should carry it all myself as it is our joint responsibility. So, to cut a long story short, it was all done by the time she came out and sadly it looked the best it has ever done. Sadly, as the future I thought I had here is no longer possible. It is now on the market and that is quite daunting – as it will have to be immaculate pretty much all of the time now. There will be a large board with photos of the back garden and the interior, by the road at the front, so hopefully that will generate some interest. I hope it sells quickly so that I can get on with the rest of my life. I waver between confidence, trepidation and complete terror at the thought of my interview on Friday. I spoke to I was absolutely knackered last night. An hour swimming, the stress of having the photos done and all the cleaning around that, then 2 hours of mindless hard graft in the Gym just for the sake of doing something, then a full shift at work. Suffice to say I was dropping by the time I came home. Into bed as soon as the blanket warmed up and off to sleep. AND THEN…..Poppy had gotten into my wardrobe and started scratching to get out around Melissa has had a busy weekend. Off to dad’s on Friday night as I was working late, then the stables and her riding lesson on Saturday morning. Then back home just in time to be picked up by Jan and Aimee to spend the night over in I'm also looking forward to my break from recent events - roll on next weekend! serenityPosted on Thu 11 October 2007 at 10:20 - 1 Comments - LinkAhhhh, it's been a long day.
Dear Lord, that's twice in one week I have had to put petrol in the car - what's all that about? Possibly because I have driven it for a change!!
I had another marathon session with the jet washer today, have basically cleaned all of Hamilton and the surrounding environs. This place has been scrubbed inside and out so when they come to take the photos for the state agents on Saturday morning, hopefully it won't be found wanting. Steve came round and helped move things ect so I'm pretty damned organised. We did some more talking, basically ironing out details and finishing things off. Hopefully not much more of that as it's not easy and I want it all behind me so that i can start to move forward.
My OT colleague Ian came over this afternoon and we did a hypnotherapy session. I am deeply impressed and incredibly grateful as this evening I have a measure of peace and serenity that has been sadly lacking over the past week. I thought that he had talked for about 10 minutes as I lay there - 40 minutes had passed!! The trick is not to try and anaylise it or pick it apart - I can assure you, there will be none of that as I need to hang on to this calm for as long as possible. I am just so thankful to have some respite from the pain that has underpinned every day recently. If you have every considered hypnotherapy but aren't sure if it is for you, I wholeheartedly endorse it and recommend it to everyone. I had it before for stopping smoking so I know it works for me. Ian - thank you so much for today, it has made a huge difference and hopefully I can start to put myself back together. If anyone around here is interested, let me know and I will put you in touch - he's brilliant. And yes, I am aware that it may all be gone tomrrow but at this point, I am just so relieved to be free of the barrage of sorrow, confusion, pain and torment, that I'll take whatever comes.
So, here's me, in my little tranquil place, enjoying my peace of mind and healing a little bit. It's not all joy and enthusiasm but I feel serene and accepting of whatever hand fate plays me next. impending arrivalPosted on Wed 10 October 2007 at 04:49 - 1 Comments - LinkToday has been a better day. And thank God for that eh? Poppy kitty looks heavily laden with kittens now. You can actually see them moving through her skin and feel them kicking when you put your hand on her belly. Hoping someone can come and house-sit the long weekend I plan being away as I don’t really want to have her boarded out. I would far rather have her here in the comfort and security of her own space than at the vets as she may associate that with pain and fear and no female should have to go through that on top of giving birth. Can’t wait to see them – will post pictures of them as soon as they arrive! Yesterday I finally managed to get the power washer I was lent to work and did the back deck, the back stairs and the concrete area at the bottom of the stairs. It has come up really well and just the doing of it was therapeutic – 3 hours of being busy and a decent result at the end of it. We had even got a quote to have the deck refurbished (glad we didn’t spring for that now!) but it looks so much better now, it ought to be a real bonus towards getting the house sold. If the rain ever stops I will go out the front with it and do a bit there too. Well, today, armed with my satnav and much trepidation, I set off for Tauranga – a good hour and a half away on the coast. And yes, I got there with very little problem whatsoever. Am Loolah was having a coffee morning and only last night I thought I would give it a try. It was good to have something else to worry about for a change….. Anyway, nice to meet up with some more ex-pats and to get away from here for a while. Thank you Caroline, for your hospitality and to everyone else for your company. If you had told me a fortnight ago I would drive over and back myself, I would have laughed. It has given me a real boost – I arrived at Caroline’s with a big stupid grin on my face and had another one once I arrived home safely. Just a pity it was such a dreadful day of rain as that cut visibility right down at one point. I will be starting the first of my hypnotherapy sessions tomorrow, which I am really looking forward to. Although I have just told you about driving over to Tauranga, I would probably benefit greatly from some positive thinking sessions around it. Ian, an OT from one of the other wards is looking to refresh his skills so we may both gain something from this. Ideally, I would like for him to make me cluck like a chicken and ……no, what am I thinking?!! I would like for him to completely wipe all the pain of the last week but I know that’s not possible. But if between us we can engender some positive thinking and hope for the future, that would be really good. So, all in all, a lot more positive today. I do believe I can find my way through all this – and again, thank you all for your support. I spent some of yesterday evening swapping PM’s with several forum members and gained a measure of solace from that. So for those who have left messages of support and offers of help, I would appreciate a PM now and again – my evening time especially as that’s when it gets lonely and sad. Right, Karen X, News at 5, signing off desolationPosted on Tue 9 October 2007 at 12:45 - 6 Comments - LinkI feel hollow. Not because of not eating but because there is this huge empty space and all I have to fill it with is sorrow and regret. The bravado has gone and all I feel now is utter desolation. Don’t worry, I’m not about to end it all but I have spent so long crying over the last couple of days I just can’t seem to see my way forward right now. Melissa and I went swimming on Sunday. It was good to be doing something mindless, something that occupies your time and finally takes my mind off the other rubbish. We went visiting, off to So, yesterday, up by I came home from town and there was something on the back doorstep. The most enormous bouquet of flower from my sons and Shane’s fiancée. At that point I just about cried myself insenseless and felt slightly better for it afterwards. My boss wrote me a really good CV and covering letter – even I would employ me on the strength of that! I’m not going to pretend that I had much to do with it, I can’t seem to get my head round things like that just now. Best get my act together before my interview, seeing as she has put such effort into helping me. I also asked if I could have my shift pattern changed to make Melissa-care easier. Painted what I could reach on the outside of the house where it needs patching because of the insulation. Next I intend to do some gardening so it looks presentable for the photos for the estate agent. But it all seems so futile. I just want to go to bed and wake up in 3 months time and someone will have done all the organising and taken away the pain. I so don’t want to be doing this, it is tearing my soul apart. the return of Karen XPosted on Sat 6 October 2007 at 09:38 - 2 Comments - LinkMy brother Pete used to call me Karen X and I am resurrecting it as I can do without the B now, thank you very much. I have been given some discretionary leave right now, so won't be in work until Friday. My boss Rachael is going to help me put a new CV together on Monday - how supportive is that. I need to do some serious preparation for my interview. Ahh, I didn't tell you, did I? I have an interview on the 19th October near Porirua (about 6-7 hours drive from here) and am seriously thinking about a move there. It really depends on being offered a job first. And even if I am offered a job, I don't have to go unless | am very sure it is the right thing to do. But that all dpends on how quickly we can sell the house as I need my share of the equity to set up again. Can't say that I am looking forward to the upheaval but we will see what transpires. I am going for a few days, the girl will stay with Dad. It will be good not to be here for a while and just not think about this whole sorry mess.
Yesterday was the last day of my Hauora course. I have met some lovely people there, very supportive and genuine. Kat and I know full well that we wouldn't have finished the course without enormous amounts of support as there was quite a bit of it on the Maori language. Earlier in the week I had got one of my Maori colleagues to help me write a thank-you in Maori, which I blundered my way through and they seemed reasonably impressed. And apparently it is the trying that wins you favour, so I'm well in. I would have liked to have done the Diploma next but as I really don't know what the immediate future holds, I will wait off on that. We had some drinks to celebrate afterwards and that was most excellent too.
Am Loolah came over yesterday and stayed the night. It was good to have her here and yet again, it shows just how fantastic the British expats forum members are. I couldn't have asked for more support than I have already had, I feel humbled by the way so many have offered words of comfort and promises of help if needed. I have to say it again, a huge thank-you to you all.
I tried out my new toy today and spent ah hour cruising round Hamilton with my satnav. I guess we should have bought one right away and I would have taken a fairer share of the driving but it's way too late to worry about that now. It did get me stuck though. There was a place where the road had been changed and it kept trying to make me go the wrong way. i eventually figured it out and now feel an awful lot happier about driving now. May even consider driving to Wellington at some point in the future. Yup, this is the new improved version - Karen X - I intend to change several things about myself. One small consolation out of all this is that I have lost weight. A few weeks ago I was 10st 5 and I am now 9st 1. As usually happens when I am badly stressed, I can't eat - the thought of it makes me feel nauseated. I'm sure this will wear off shortly but at the moment, it's easier to ignore it and it will take care of itself. Incredibly, in spite of having had the arse torn out my life, I haven't started smoking again. I feel tremendously proud of myself for that and I need all the self respect I can muster right now, so that's a bonus.
Melissa and I are going swimming tomorrow - I should be able to squeeze myself into my dookers now. The local pool has been closed for quite some time for renovations so I am looking forward togetting back into that too.
Well, finally think I might be able to get some sleep tonight, so i will bugger off and give it a try. The last blog entry was written at 4 in the morning as there was no oblivion for me to sink into that night.
Nah. Up again and it's now 12.50, what a pisser eh? Night all Karen X
moving onPosted on Fri 5 October 2007 at 03:41 - 2 Comments - LinkThe last 2 days have gone on forever.
The incredible support I have received from the British Expat website members in their posts, PM's and telephone calls has completely taken my breath away and that has been the only thing that has actually made me cry. Not losing him but the kindness of people I have mostly never met but who have had the thought and compassion to let me know they are thinking of me. Guys, I can't thank you enough - your support has been an immense solace and means a huge amount to me.
My family and friends - I don't quite know how I would be doing without you, you are my quiet place, my comfort, my candle in the dark, my refuge in the storm.
We had been together for 17 years and I don't intend to tell all the breakup details publicly - Steve, I'm sure you will be glad to hear that. I don't even intend to do any name calling. I want to be able to look back and know that I have behaved with as much dignity as possible under the circumstances. We had the most fantastic times together and I have lost my soul mate, my other half and my best mate all in one fell swoop. The pain has been deep and all pervading, a veritable ripping apart of my soul. Thanks for that you two. Enjoy what you have, knowing it is built on my pain and anguish and your deceit and that you have hurt Melissa so deeply, enjoy.
I don't think I have the words to describe the tumult of emotions that have been through but let's have a go eh?
I can only liken it to the river Spey in the shallows. The emotions are those rocks just below the surface and my life is the river swirling over them . Hurt, shock, disbelief, misery, incandescent rage, futile longing that this is just a dream and I will wake up and cuddle up next to him in relief. Pain I never thought I would endure in this relationship. Fear of the unkown, of being alone, of having to start again, of isolation, of rejection.
And then the river deepens and I am finding I am not just been carried along. I am making decisions and the mad spate of emotion is coming under my control.
However, I am not going to portray myself as the victim here as I am making plans and intend to move forward rather than wallow in abject self pity and grief. I have a few days off work and after the weekend I am going to work on my CV with my boss and I have already started looking for a new job near Wellington. My boss will give me a 6 month career break so if I wish to come back if things don't work out, there will still be a job here for me.
We started putting the house on the market and as soon as the chap comes back to seal off the holes left by the cavity wall insulation, we can have the photos taken and start the ball rolling.
We have done a lot of organising for the split and hopefully that will be as civil as possible given the circumstances. Melissa is coping surprisingly well and hopefully will continue to be grounded and not too freaked by what has happened.
Hopefully, from now on, I won't be referring to this again but to my plans for a new life and all the excitement that hopefully that will contain.
Thanks again to everyone for your support - I don't think I would be coping so well without knowing that you care. that's that thenPosted on Wed 3 October 2007 at 02:10 - 6 Comments - LinkI had plans to tell you what a fantstic year it has been. I feel priveleged and immensely lucky to have had this year here in New Zealand But it has all turned to ashes in my mouth. I camr home from the Gym this morning so I could actually spend sometime with Steve before he went to work as he has seemed a bit off the last few days. He was still a bit distant this morning so I finally asked 'are you having an affair' and got an affirmative. She was a work colleague until very recently - in fact, I went to her leaving do. He has been going to see her when melissa has been staying over at friend's homes and I have been on a late shift. He is not prepared to give her up and I can't continue to have him here. I feel my world has collapsed around me but I don't intend to cry or drink myself into oblivion. I will take a few days off work to try and get my head together. We have already been to the bank and to see a solicitor. What next? I don't know. I don't want to head back to Britian but I'm not sure I can afford to stay here.
I did gain some small measure of satisfaction by pouring conditioner and shampoo in the bags he packed and left in the bedroom. And the contents of the hoover bag - I guess you have to take your pleasures where you find them. And i thought life was brilliant at 6.30 this morning. possessedPosted on Fri 28 September 2007 at 08:52 - 1 Comments - LinkThursdayI need to do some research into demonic possession. Because at 5.40am this morning I was compelled to get up, don my very fetching Gym attire and go to the sodding gym for 6am…………..AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGHHHHHHHHHH!! What is happening to me? Anyone who knows me well is now shaking their heads and agreeing with me. I have had a lifelong love affair with my bed and do not relinquish my lie-ins without a fight – and a dirty fight at that. But with no bribe or inducements – I was awake before the sodding alarm had a chance to go off – I was up and ready and on a mission. I was surprised at how busy it was at I got home in time to shower and be ready for the chaps coming to do the cavity wall insulation. Turned out to be just the one chap but he has worked like a wee Trojan today. I was under the impression it would take 2 chaps 2 days to do the job but he seems to have done most of it today ………. And what a beautiful day it turned out to be for hanging out around the house and garden. Did very little but what a day to be doing bugger all – fantastic! Friday Now I’m really scared. I found myself getting out of bed at 5.20 this morning. Then I was in the car and then I was in the Gym. Please Lord, make the scary gym stuff go away . There I was, 9 sodding kilometres later trying to climb off the exercise bike – but my arse had welded itself firmly to the contours of the seat. I had visions of having to get it surgically removed but thankfully my legs gave way and I nearly fell over, thus parting seat and butt with nary a skin tear in sight…phew. Then I went off upstairs to do some floorwork. I sat on the floor to start doing some stretches but managed to knock my water bottle over. Unfortunately I hadn’t put the lid back on when I filled it from the water cooler. With the result it cascaded into my lap and it looked for all the world like I had wet myself. In for a penny, in for a pound I thought, and proceeded to pour it down the outside of one leg also so it wouldn’t look quite so incriminating. Then nearly fell on my nose as I slipped in the puddle as I stood up. Damn you, water bottle! Home in time to be organised and out again for 8.30 to my Hauora course. Day 5 of 6 today – all about the Treaty of Waitangi, so that wasn’t too bad. We are half planning a swift pint to round off the course next Friday, so looking forward to that. Aladdin's cavePosted on Mon 24 September 2007 at 09:33 - 0 Comments - LinkWell today we found out we are harbouring thieves. Melissa moved the waterproof cover on the patio table and there was a veritable treasure trove under there that the kitties have stolen and taken home. Socks, another rubber glove, some string, some foam, a face cloth, something that looks like the plastic off of a table-tennis bat, a shoelace, half a bouncy ball with a smiley face on it and most bizarrely, a clump of fluff and muck that looks like the contents of a hoover bag.And talking of kitties, the siren song has stopped – indeed stopped a few weeks ago. After a long careful look at the Poppy kitty, I think I have the answer. Yup, she may well be having kitties of her own before too long. She still looks quite kittenish herself but there is a definite rounding of the belly there. She looks content so we will just have to wait and see. My dreams of world domination at the 10k jog may well come crashing down around my ears. My knee is soooo sodding sore I may well have to bow out gracefully and give up any ideas about taking part in the 3 events coming up in the next 2 months. Damn you, poorly knee!! I am pretty gullible when it comes to tablets, liniments, lotions and potions so I have Tiger balm, Ibuprofen rub, heat rub etc but I did manage to stop myself from buying magnetic plasters. They are meant to help increase the blood flow to the affected area…..HOW? I have an appointment with the podiatrist in a fortnight’s time. My GP recommended this practice as they do sports injuries. So I have to take my main shoes and my running shoes and he will make shoe inserts that should help correct my stride and stop the pain. A whole week into the Gym’s 8 week challenge and I am marginally leaner and healthier (apparently!). This surprises me a tad as my knee has stopped me training and we had a night on the pop on Friday – followed by the usual lazy day after and all the snacking that usually accompanies it. I’m not complaining but will have to try a bit harder this week and hopefully poorly knee will make a remarkable recovery. Yeah!!!! Both Steve and | passed the car driving theory test. I will happily tell you that I passed at 35 out of 35 and Steve passed at 34 out of 35. I’m not so happy that I didn’t pass the eyesight test. $70 later, after a trip to see my GP. I went back with some paperwork from him following another eye test and they passed me. Whoopee!! The Spectacled StevenPosted on Sat 15 September 2007 at 11:46 - 0 Comments - LinkI think Steve was secretly excited as he left the house this morning. He had to pick his new specs up from the Opticians at 8.30 am. He had his eyes tested through work and they also paid for the glasses. Well, Steve had to pay $44 and they paid over $500 so that seems like a bargain by anyone’s measure. And a rather spiffing case to put them in. I swear, he is like a kid with a new toy!
And the girl – her usual painey self. But she is our pain and we love her just as she is. She has perfected the art of looking into the middle distance with a dreamy gaze so that when she gets reminded about jobs she was meant to have done, she can say ‘oh sorry, I didn’t hear you’………… I’m obsessed with the fitness thing at the moment. I went into town and spent $100 on a half-decent pair of trainers to run in, then drove back to the Gym so I could park up and walk/jog round the lake. The lake circuit is roughly 4k but I couldn’t jog it all, I had to alternate between the two. But at least that was because I was out of breath, not because my knees hurt too much. A bit sore but not excruciating this time. And as I was trundling round the lake, a lady handed me an entry form for the ‘Pink Walk’ which is an evening circuit of the lake in aid of Breast Cancer. That’s on the 13th October so that has gone on my list too. I even stopped in at the local swimming pool on my way home to see if they were open but they continue to be closed for a major overhaul – must have been closed for several weeks now. I paid my $10 at the Gym and will start their 8 week challenge on Monday. Just for a change I feel really motivated – long may it continue. And as I can only enthusiastic about one thing at a time, the housework and garden have now been sidelined in favour of my latest fad. Well, there are worse thing to be gripped by…… We have finally got a little bit organised and intend to take the theory driving test next week. So that means I have been doing the online practice: and pass more often than not. I’ll keep doing a few each day and hopefully that will see me pass first time. A couple of weeks ago, we had a chap out to give us an estimate for cavity wall insulation. After a bit of deliberation, we are getting it done in a fortnight. It will cost about $3 500 but as it is meant to sound proof as well, we thought it was worth the money. You need to ventilate properly so it may as well get done when the weather is reasonably warm and then we should be cosy next winter. I pulled a pair of jeans out of the wardrobe that I haven’t worn for months. In the pocket was a strip of 8 paracetemol and also 5 plasters. I just stood and looked at them. I have no recollection of why they were in my pocket. It sounds a bit like a biblical parable doesn’t it? ‘And lo, I say verily unto thee, bring me your sick and needy and I shall give them succour with the holy eightfold paracetemol and blessed 5 plasters’ And yea, didst the overhung and they of the skinned of knee, come unto the place of Karonious in their tens of ones and receive grace and healing from mine pockets. cool runningPosted on Thu 13 September 2007 at 12:56 - 0 Comments - LinkAbsolutely brimming over with enthusiasm for this fitness lark, I did actually manage to go to the Gym today. And I found out they are doing an 8 week challenge. As in challenge yourself to change, not challenge anyone else. So, for the princely sum of $10, I get weighed, measured, BMI'd on a weekly basis and given the pep-talk too. Set your own goal, be it weight loss, change shape, be more healthy, whatever: they will support you with it. So that's it - I am signing up tomorrow and it should start next week. Once I get into this kind of thing, I become very single-minded so hopefully I should see a difference in myself this Christmas compared with last.
Isn't it funny how quickly we forget things? It was only the other day I was on here moaning about how much I ache following my 10k jog/walk. And today I have decided that as they are going to the bother of organising a 10k run in Hamilton on the 7th of October, I would be rude not to participate. I have spent the latter half of my late shift talking myself into this so at the moment (nearly midnight) it still seems like a good idea. Forget the excrutiating pain I had in both knees and my right calf - this will be fun, won't it?!! So tomorrow, I will walk/jog to the Gym, doing a circuit of the lake en route and miss out the cardio-vascular workout once I get there. See, I'm already champing at the bit!! The only drawback is the trainers I currently have are not really for running - as Saturday proved. So I will have to spend yet more money and get a new pair. And looking even further into the year, there will be a 12k walk on the 11th of November -think of me Markie as you sup your birthday pint!
I mentioned work - today was a really good shift. Not overflowing with major nursing but a really mellow shift with time to kick back and enjoy the company of the people you work with. To my D shift colleagues - it has been a pleasure.
And talking of work, one of my favorite work-mates - Tracy - will be leaving shortly. I will miss her as we share the same sense of humour and generally manage to make light of most dire situations. I have found her to be really good under stress and very capable, honest and not afraid to get stuck in. Tracy - I will miss you. I've seen it all nowPosted on Wed 12 September 2007 at 12:24 - 0 Comments - LinkI’ve seen it all now.We were out food shopping the other day and there were 2 men, both with a white cane and dark glasses, leaning on each other, wandering around the supermarket. I kid you not – it was indeed them blind leading the blind. You think I'm joking - no, I swear, it happened!! And this one takes some beating. We were out on a patient escort and as we drove along the road in I was met with total disbelief at work when I said I had been to Whangamata as several people from work were in the 21k and 10k races and I did not see one single solitary person that I knew!! I walked up to the ward with one chap who had been in the same race and I certainly didn’t know he had been there as I saw nobody! ‘Yes Karen, we really believe you nearly missed the beginning of the race as you only just got there in time’ 'Yes Karen, we believe you hung about the finish line for ages but didn’t see anyone else’ You know, it DOES sound a tad suspicious right enough eh? Not to worry, I know I was there and I will have a certificate sent out once they process them…..won’t I?........ I have had to put my health kick on hold as my sodding back aches now! I would really like to go to the Gym as I am still obsessed with it but having been signed off a couple of times in the past with a bad back, I will wait until it has passed before venturing going again. Hopefully, I will still feel like going at that point as you will know yourself that the will to be healthy comes and goes. I had jumped back into bed after seeing Melissa off to school today, only to be rudely awoken by someone knocking at the front door at 8.30am…..’who can that be?’ I wondered as I certainly didn’t expect anyone. Swearing profusely to myself, I grumped along the lobby and got the front door. Imagine my surprise and delight to find 2 Jehovah’s witnesses trying to get me onboard. ‘This is not a good time’ I told them as I started to shut the door. The woman tried to tell me something but the door was already closing. Right, don’t these people know that 08.30 is an ungodly hour? Well they bloody ought to being so close to God eh? I have it from the chap on high himself that unless it is a work day, the world doesn’t start turning until 10.00 at least. And I’m sticking to it!! However, once they had got me up, it wasn’t worth going back to bed, so I got up and stripped the bed linen off for the wash. Yes I know that’s boring, but I do have a point to make. So I put it on the line and headed off to buy myself a Maori-English dictionary in town (more of which later). It was an absolutely beautiful morning – the kind that only comes rarely over the British summer and we are still in early spring. This is where the saying about the weather here in Spring in the early morning: looks warm but a nippy breeze Summer just before I put the washing out: Sunny, balmy, warm Autumn: temperature dropped, clouds rolled in, wind got up Winter: Suddenly really cold and the rain was lashing down, the wind was cutting. And by the time I got home from town, back to spring. I put out a second load of washing, took the sheets in and spun them again and they went out in the lovely sunshine and dried no bother. Yes, I know it is the minutiae of my existence – but you are still reading eh? I bought the Maori dictionary to help me with the course I am currently on. It seems to have a high proportion of Maori language study within it, which is not what I thought the content was. However, if it continues as it has, with help from colleagues allowed, I should be OK. I have met some interesting people on this course and I would prefer to carry on and see how it goes rather than jack in now. 2 people in particular have been really helpful but we have agreed to trade knowledge – we (Kat from work and I) will help them with the clinical stuff and they will keep telling us about the Maori language. The course has been interesting and I believe it has furthered my knowledge base of the Maori mind set but I’m not sure what we have done so far is worth the title of Certificate.
Enough, I now have to go and make sure I still rule the world at ‘Bear and Cat’ on: Try and beat me if you dare! WhangamataPosted on Sat 8 September 2007 at 08:38 - 0 Comments - LinkWell, today was Walk day.I was up by The journey actually took I hour 40 minutes in total, with Steve driving the last 30k or so like an absolute demon to get there on time. We used to use the phrase 'windy windy' a lot for very bendy roads. Wind-ee as in the wind seemed to sweep across them and try to blow you off the road and wine-dee as in convoluted. I used the word ‘curly’ today to describe the road as it wound backwards and forwards over the mountains and probably nearly tied itself in knots en route. Having said that, the drive was stunning. If you wanted to see some incredible scenery that last half hour or so was pretty damned good. I swung wildly between being worried about being late and finding it quite funny and being laid back about it. As it happens, I ran in and grabbed my number and got out into the marshalling area with 3 whole minutes to spare – no time for a stretching session or owt. I made the mistake of jogging for the first 4 kilometres. I haven’t done a huge amount of road work; mostly I have used the treadmill at the Gym. With the result my knees started giving me real gyp. I had to walk the rest of the way but I’m not a fast walker so I lost a bit of time there. Not to worry, I finished in 1 hour 13 minutes, with Melissa running the last wee bit around the playing field beside me. It was eerily reminiscent of running the
And look at the weather!! It was a lovely morning, I'm glad I had sun cream on and my sunglasses - and this is early spring?!! When I went to collect my number before the walk, the chap who handed me my number caught my accent and asked where I was from - I replied that I was from Elgin, he said ‘och, I’m fae Rothes masel’. I was in too much of a hurry to stop and chat but afterwards I tracked him down and we had a good long blether. He left Rothes a long time ago but still had a broader accent than I do. I asked if he would mind if I put him in here and he didn’t mind. So, Mr Tom Grant, who left Rothes in the 1940’s, now residing in Whangamata, welcome to my blog! He told me he used to live on Tom - it was lovely to meet you, we will have to keep in touch.
We visited the beach there and it was lovely but to be honest, I’m not sure I would bother with the drive. To be fair, the drive on the way back was better as we had time to enjoy it. We also visited Waihi Beach , which was really nice too but less of a journey to get there.
It was actually far nicer than this photo would have you believe - we didn't have a jacket between us and enjoyed our walk, grubbing about for shells as usual - great haul today.
So all in all, a great day. A real sense of acheivement for doing the 10k, nice to meet another Rothesian, 2 beaches and nice weather too! Topped off with that quintessential traditional Kiwi meal: KFC; what more could an expat ask for? The wettest cityPosted on Thu 6 September 2007 at 11:26 - 0 Comments - LinkIt's official, according to the Waikato times dated 03.0.07 - Hamilton was the wettest city in New Zealand over August. Well, that comes as no surprise to those of us who live here, I can reliably inform you. But as it is a winter month, that is to be expected. Compared with the cold that the South island experienced (down to -8.4C), I really don't mind at all. And when you look out over the gully, you can see the effect of all that rain as it is so very, very green. So the National Institute of Water and Atmospheric Research point out that Auckland was the warmest, Dunedin was the driest, Christchurch was the coldest, Hamilton was the wettest and Wellington was the sunniest.
We had a lunar eclipse last week and apparently New Zealand was meant to be the best place in the world to see it from. Note the use of the word 'apparently'. Now, put that together with the commonly used 'land of the long white cloud' business and I can assure you that our deck at least wasn't the best place to view it from. I'll give you 'land of the long white sodding cloud'. The long white cloud rose up and covered the blood red moon and thus obscured our view. To be fair, it did drift about so at times there was a bit to be seen but it did spoil the viewing pleasure consdierably. Ahhh well, it least we were here to see it at all and Melissa can tell her grandkids that she saw it when she was a child. Come to that, i can tell my grandchildren if I ever have any....................Oh dear lord, have I just tempted fate?!....
Last week, we had Jan and Ian and their 11 year old twins from the BE site over for the evening. We all agreed it had been a good evening, so we went round to their house and did it all over again last night. Thank you for your hospitality Jan and Ian, we had a lovely evening! They have very recently come to New Zealand so Steve and I gave them the benefit our our 11 month's experience!!
Last week I started on a course involving the Maori world view and how best to incorporate that in MH nursing. Well, the jury is still out on this one..... Apparently we sat 3 modules last week. Following dicussion, we all wrote down what had been written on the board, in our own words and that passed 3 modules??? I'm finding it all a bit nebulous and ethereal. How what we disussed impinges on health care I really don't know. Hopefully it was an 'icebreaking' day and things will be a little more concrete in the 5 remaining Fridays. They take their hosting very seriously here. At the start of the session, everyone had to stand up and say a little bit about themselves, their geneaology etc (which is very important to Maori). I dropped in I was a McGregor by birth and come from the Spey Valley, where arguably the finest whisky in the world is made. That seemd to impress people immensely - guess they have a taste for it here as well!
I have decided to do the 10k walk on Saturday instead of the half marathon as when I have completed a longer walk, I have ended up with sore shins for days. If I were being sponsored or had really set myself the target of doing the big walk, I would maybe have persevered but as it is, am quite happy to do the shorter one and spend the rest of the day exploring with Steve and Melissa. I thought that 2 of my colleagues were also doing the 10k but one has dropped out and the other has decided to do the 21k. I have no objections to doing it on my own anyway...who knows, I may even break into a jog at some point. As long as I am not ovetaken by the 21k'ers who will be starting 15 minutes after me, I don't care!! Watch this space! Kids and kidPosted on Thu 30 August 2007 at 11:03 - 0 Comments - LinkMelissa went to her school social (disco) this evening – dressed as an Emo. Look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emo_(slang) if you need reminding what an Emo is! She wore my boots as they are black but I’m not sure that Emo’s wear 3 inch heels! Hey, what would I know! She came back in one piece so obviously has her mother’s knack for walking in heels. She seems to have had a good time. Her friend from next door came over and they looked like a pair of bloody burglars before they put their make-up on. I was going to ask if they took orders as I really fancy a cheap water feature for the garden but I refrained! (She has just told me she is going out at Hallowe’en as Emo girl with furry pumpkin cat!) It’s good to see her socialising but we always thought she would make the transition to New Zealand as well as she has every other move we have forced upon her in her short life due to the RAF dictating our every move in Britain. Well done Melissa! And tomorrow is MUFTI day at school so she has every intention of going in her pyjamas!! I had to make a huge effort today and for the first time drove myself as far as Kmart to purchase new pyjamas for this event – hope she truly appreciates how I put myself out for her. I have been quite remiss in the driving department. I have been very lazy and let Steve ferry me about. I know I really should have made more effort but at least I am getting slightly further afield as time goes by. Which reminds me – in 5 weeks, we will have been here a year! We have to sit our driving theory tests soon or we will be illegal.Just by way of a change, we had ‘Italian kid’ for tea. No, we are not cannibals importing foreign children for our gastronomic delight (although I would imagine Italian children would taste quite heavily of garlic, tomatoes, olive oil and oregano). We saw goat meat in Pac n Save the other day and nothing else would do but we try it. I scanned the internet for recipes and came up with Italian Kid. The meat had very little flavour to be honest so you couldn’t really like or dislike it as it was so innocuous. But in it’s garlic, tomatoes, olive oil and oregano sauce, you couldn’t tell that, so it was OK. It reminded me of several lamb curries I have eaten in the past so I can’t help but wonder……… I also made pizza bread which was really nice, I impressed myself with that one and will dish it up to visitors at every chance for a while. The garden is now completely finished. I cheated the other day – I put one of the new plants in a pot that was far too small for it – to the degree I stood on it to get it go in……..so today, as I was in KMart anyway, I bought the most enormous plastic pot for this plant. I then potted it up when I got home, then had an empty pot and had to upsize several plants. Did I mention the compost bin? I don’t think so. Since we moved here, there has been a compost bin in the garden, neatly tucked in beside the greenhouse. Well, to fill all the pots, I finally dug into it and mixed it with the remains of a bag of compost we had already bought. There was no difference! That compost is fantastic! I was so impressed with it, I have started adding to it myself – today saw the first veg peelings and a shredded newspaper going in there - I love my garden! GardeningPosted on Mon 27 August 2007 at 11:39 - 0 Comments - LinkI wouldn’t imagine anyone else would notice a big difference in the garden but we have done a tremendous amount of work in the garden over the last few days. I look like I have been knitting with barbed wire as I am scratched and bruised all over (that’s what comes of gardening in shorts!). We lifted all the bark chippings and put down weed matting, then put the bark back down. Sounds simple but it took ages by the time we weeded it all out and measured and pinned the matting. We also chopped out the tree stumps that had just been covered with weed matting by previous owners and left instead of being dealt with at the time. Steve managed to break the little axe so off he went out and bought another one……and a pair of ‘leaf hands’ for scooping up the bark….and a leaf blower cos I really wanted one last autumn and they were on offer…….and a mulcher to chop up all the garden rubbish……and a shovel……..ooohhhh and some chicken and pizza bread so I didn’t have to make lunch. Then we lifted the weed matting under the deck and laid plastic sheeting there so that we could put down the pebbles from the front garden. Now all that remains is to source some white pebbles so that the front garden really takes on the whole contemplation garden look. I chopped back the flax bushes and we fed it to the mulcher, then spread it over the borders as well. We stood on the deck at about 6.15 and caught the last of the daylight, looking out over the garden with a huge sense of satisfaction. It was one of those ‘we live here’ moments that we cherish, that again vindicates our move to2 days later.... On Sunday, we went out to look for white pebbles for the contemplation garden at the front. It is just so good finally owning our own house and having free rein to actually DO things like this. I must get the Steven to take some photos and I will get them on here as it looks so different to me. Anyway, I digress as usual. So we found the pebbles and some bricks to create a barrier for under the deck as we intended to lift the front pebbles, put them under the deck, lay new weed matting/plastic at the front and then get the new white pebbles delivered. We bough the stuff at Busy busy busyPosted on Fri 24 August 2007 at 12:35 - 2 Comments - LinkI started on my higher dose of Thyroxine two days ago and haven’t stopped since. There was only one small problem. I took 400mg instead of 200mg both days! I thought I had the 50’s in my hand, so I took 4. No, I had the 100’s! I really do pay more attention at work!! Not to worry, it won’t happen again and it really seems to have given me a pick-me-up.So today I went to the Gym in the morning, did a good 90 minutes workout and then went shopping. Then some housework and lunch on the deck as it was the most beautiful day – factor 30 suncream on as it was hot enough to burn. The front garden needed a real overhaul, so I spent quite some time out there tidying up. It looks so much better now. Out the back, there is a wee gravelled area under the garden steps – it is about 10ft long by 3ft wide and a complete waste of space. Well, today I uprooted a 4ft length of railway sleeper from the front garden and dug it into the ‘stair space’. I had a big black dragon ornament that I plonked on the top of the sleeper, potted up some long grasses and put them in there too, added a couple of bits of silver birch log that we had cut down in the gully and it looks like someone had planned it, not just made it up as they went along. I had to keep going for another viewing as it looks so much better – like an extra little garden. The only thing wrong is the gas water heater is in the wall there and it isn’t particularly attractive. I want a bit of bamboo fencing to hang in front of it and it will be perfect! The main borders need an overhaul too and that may well get done tomorrow, as long as it doesn’t rain again. They need all the bark chippings moved, new weed matting laying and the chips put back. So with that in mind, we set off to buy a wheelbarrow. On offer they were, at Bunnings. Bugger, Bunnings shut at Apropos of bugger all, some of the bigger BP petrol stations have a ‘Wild Bean’ café in them. They do pies and savouries, coffee and pastries to take out. I am working my way through their pie repertoire, Melissa likes the chicken wings and Steve likes the pastries, so we’re all set. I said something about ‘Wild Bean’ as we drove past en route to wheelbarrow wonderland earlier and it came out sounding like something that Duran Duran sang many years ago – Wild Boys. Well, nothing else would do but I had to make up some new lyrics – Steve ignored me as usual!
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