All clear

Posted on Tue 11 December 2007 at 08:15 - 3 Comments - Link

Yesterday, I started work.  Well, yesterday I had a full day of ‘cultural induction’, which isn’t really the same thing at all.  There was a big group of us and we were all taken on to the marae within the grounds of Keneperu hospital.  You get ‘sung’ on, the full-on Maori welcome.  Interminable speeches in Maori and you have to introduce yourself – thankfully in English though.  There was a Bavarian doctor who told us about his lineage, coming from a long line of doctors.  It was more than I could resist….when it was my turn I told them about coming from a wee village nestled in the hills of the Spey Valley and that I came from a long line of alcoholics – and I was doing my level best to live up to my heritage!!   We had to do some role-play and damn me, did I not end up being Busby, the chap who tried to get the Treaty of Waitangi instituted.  I made him very arrogant, which pulled a few laughs.

And this afternoon, after a quick shop following the trip to Wellington, we were subjected to more induction.  God knows how I stayed awake.  No, I take that back!!!  Yesterday, I was really pleased to see Derek, a social worker I had worked with in Hamilton.  He started in Wellington about 3 weeks ago and although we won’t be working together, I was great to catch up with him. He moved down here to be closer to his girlfriend so it is nice to know that at least his love life has taken off.  We spent most of the day nudging, pushing each other and pulling dire faces.  More of the same today so that kept me awake. 

He has invited to his New Years party.  I doubt I will go as they live in central Wellington but it is still nice to be invited.  And nice that he expressed concern about my X-ray saga.

So, tomorrow is my first real day at work.  I really ought to be ironing something ‘appropriate’ to wear but haven’t got that far yet.  Stuff it, I will do it in the morning!! I’m off to sit on the back deck and enjoy the sunset .  Still impressed with view from the deck – makes me feel glad I moved.  Just too lazy to add the photos of the view – but I will get round to it eventually.

smelly dog

Posted on Sun 9 December 2007 at 04:16 - 0 Comments - Link

I picked Melissa up from the Fearon’s then we headed off to Jac & Adie’s.  We set off for Ocean Beach and although it was quite warm, the wind was pretty strong.  And talking of wind:

OH MY GOD!!

Melissa and I sat in the back of their 4x4 and their 2 dogs were in the boot.  Then of the dogs farted and the insidious miasma crept over the seat and enveloped me.  It was horrendous!  I started laughing and spluttering, trying not to breathe too deeply.  The he did it again!!!  I was doing that laughing and half-retching thing you do, desperately trying to get the window down.  Only the window stuck and wouldn’t go up again.  So that passed…..and then I found a little bit of brown stuck to me….and another…..and another.  At that point we realized something had gone badly awry and pulled over.  The little dog had been sick and the big one had it all over him and the boot and the contents of the boot.  The one small saving grace was this it was sick and not poo!   .  So we (they!) got that cleared up and we set off again.  Well, did he not let loose with another fart!  At that point I croaked ‘Lord, kill me now and get it over with!!’

As I said, Ocean Beach was just too windy so we headed for Featherstone Lake instead.  It was nice there – we had a picnic.  Well, to be honest, Melissa and I had started eating just about as soon as we got in the car but the OFFICIAL picnic was by the lake.  Melissa did her usual trick of putting on her swimming togs under her clothes and then proceeding to get the whole lot wet.  She raced about trying to get the pine cone she was using as a ball off the big dog, didn’t win too often.  Then we had the brainwave of collecting loads of cones so he didn’t know which one to chase first.  She threw it across a small channel of water and was able to race him through the water for it as she can run faster than he could on his stumpy wee legs.  And damn me, yet again, forgot the camera.  A thoroughly enjoyable outing, good time had by all.

Then we came home, got showered and changed – Jac & Adie appeared armed with fish and chips which we all devoured like we hadn’t seen food for days.  Then off to Maz’s housewarming, which was a really pleasant evening.  Thanks for the invite Marion, we had a great time.

And today I went to see if I could find where I’m meant to be going for my induction tomorrow.  I would far rather fanny about today and make sure I know where I’m going than make myself late and flustered tomorrow. 

Then we and Beth went to the shopping center again.  Melissa now has a flat-pack bike that I will do my level best to assemble before she goes to Hamilton.  She got a new outfit and other various bits and pieces.  She seems happy with today’s purchases.  Met up with the Fearons in the center, nice to be doing that kind of stuff for a change rather than just organizing. 

So that’s it so far, off to cook tea – although God knows what that will consist of as the fridge is looking a bit bare and I haven’t figured out how to make the oven work yet!!  Ahh, got it – macaroni cheese! (but without the lovely baked on crust obviously!)

Late addition - tea turned out to be pasta as we have no macaroni...but I have assembled the bike!!  I'm so pleased I managed to do it myself - no looking back now!

It never rains but it pours

Posted on Fri 7 December 2007 at 11:31 - 4 Comments - Link

Had a phone call yesterday from the Occupational Health nurse following my chest X-ray on Monday.  Although they have deemed me fit to start work on Monday, the OH consultant wants to see me on Tuesday.... She reassured me it was nothing active, but could I take my immigration X-ray from last August with me so they could have a look at that too.  As you can imagine, I felt really stressed even though she told me not to worry.  She gave a good explanation of what it is about but no amount of explaining will stop you fretting, will it?  It’s human nature to fret.  I guess it’s where he broke my heart…….

Damn, blast, bugger and all the other words that don't spring to mind right now.

For the first time since the world turned upside down for me 2 months ago, I felt like giving up and buggering off back to Britain.  I just couldn’t believe it.  But now that the initial tsunami of self-pity has rampaged over me, I feel a lot better today.  Just go with the flow.  Resigned to what fate is going to chuck at me this time.

And Shane Mark and Darren – I’m fine, you don’t need to send more flowers, I’m OK really.

 I’ve sorted out the shed, cut the grass and finished the power-washing that I wanted doing.  Today I hired a carpet cleaner and have already cleaned the carpets.  Trying to keep busy really – leaves less time to stress. 

Just the last few things to check – not sure I’ve told everyone of our change of address but the mail is redirected for 2 months so what I haven’t remembered ought to show up by then.

 And next week I finally start work.. I spoke to my boss earlier and I start induction at 8am at the Marae on Monday, so need to wear a skirt and look presentable.  I will go into school and see about the after school club so that will take care of the girl.

Melissa is off for a sleepover at the Fearons tonight, not sure what I will do with myself yet but I’m sure I can find plenty to do.  Me and Robbie Williams might just spend a night in!!!  And tomorrow we are off to east coast with Jac & Adie and their dogs.  Looking forward to that.  Then off to Maz’s housewarming in the evening.  That should keep me busy!!

carnage in the kitchen

Posted on Wed 5 December 2007 at 09:36 - 0 Comments - Link

Melissa mentioned to me yesterday that the plastic bottle of tomato paste in the fridge seemed to be leaking.  I forgot all about it until about half an hour ago - so when I saw it, I thought I would just empty it down the drain. 

WRONG!!!

The bloody thing had fermented and when I flipped the flip-top, it exploded.  I was stood at the kitchen sink (luckily I had the intelligence to hold it into the sink - thank the lord for small mercies!) so most of it was contained in the sink.  But it hit me in the chest and I looked like like I had suffered a fatal gunshot wound.  I shouted Melissa so she could have a laugh at my expense and I thought she was going to wet herself laughing!  It was on the walls, my handbag, the window, the microwave: you name it: it was on there.  God: death by tomato paste!  Not something that makes the headlines often!

Melissa has now been in school for 2 days.  She seems to have made some friends already and is happy there.  That is one of the best things about the transient RAF lifestyle we used to lead:  at least she has moved schools several times before so this isn't too much of a shock to her.  And she is going to school with kids she has met before so that is really settling and supportive for her.  She is coping really well and when I ask her if she is happy here, she always replies "Mum, I've already told you I'm OK"  Well, forgive me for asking!

I went to Tawa with Jackie (spackster) today to get another tattoo done.  But he was too busy right then.  Which was quite disappointing.  But he phoned me back early this evening and said I could go over right then.  So, all nervous anticipation, I dropped Melissa off with Donna and headed off.  I'm really pleased with it - it's a unicorn that Melissa found on the internet - just the head and front legs.  I've been thinking about it for the past year or so and this just seemed an appropriate time for it.  To signify the start of my new life.  To channel the pain of the last few months into the point of the needle and be able to put it behind me. 

Then we headed into the shopping centre at Porirua and had lunch.  I may never cook a roast again as Melissa doesn't really care for it and I can't be bothered doing it just for me but when there are places that will provide a roast lamb dinner for $11, I will quite happily do that instead.  I bought a hoodie top for the girl - couldn't see anything in the kids section so ended up buying a ladies XS.  Ans when I got to the till, it cost me $4.40 instead of $27.90 as it had been reduced and I hadn't even noticed - what a bargain.  But already looks like the cats have been wearing it - God only knows how they have any hair left left to shed as she has groomed to near baldness.

The letting agent Russell came round today.  He has been very helpful - even lent me a freeview satellite box as the reception round here is dire.  But I bought my own today so was able to give him his back.  Anyway, he appeared at the door and asked if I wanted some wood for the log-burner.  He then proceeded to cut it up with his chainsaw on the front lawn.  We threw it over the fence, where it still is incidentally, and I will stack it somewhere dry tomorrow.  He has beeen great, even asked me if I wanted to go round and use his land-line to set up my own land-line and get organised with an electricity provider - which I did.  Thankfully, I met his wife round there so know he has no ulterior motive.  It's nice to see people offering help for no other reason than they want to help - restores your faith in human nature a bit.  I must get him a bottle of wine and a card just as a courtesy to show my appreciation.

I have seen so many people since moving here.  Many of the local forum members have dropped in to say hello.  Thanks people: it's been so nice to meet you finally and to have your support.  3 of my neighbours have been round to introduce themselves which has been good too.  I really should organise a house-warming but my life is such a social whirl, I haven't got round to it yet!!

And I'm all broadbanded up.  I was using dial-up until they could connect me but far happier with broadband.  And I did it all myself: for those of you who know me well; you know just how un-technical I am, so I'm well impressed with myself and how much I have acheived.

Well done me!

stupid cats!

Posted on Tue 4 December 2007 at 11:20 - 0 Comments - Link

The day after we moved here, Scottie did a runner.  Bloody pegged it to destinations unknown.  So Melissa and I spent two hours of fruitless searching and shouting.  Poor Melissa was really brave but I could hear the quaver in her voice.  I gave up searching and came in to do some unpacking and there she was the little bastard, curled up in the bottom of my cupboard.  Melissa reckoned she looked there but she obviously hadn't looked well enough.  I can only imagine that she was still doped up as I sedated both the cats for the drive down.  I was so relieved to see her:  it would have ruined the move for Melissa.

But they can't seem to get their heads round (or indeed through) the cat flap. They stand in front of it, pathetically mewing to be let out or in,waiting for the butler or doorman to come and do it for them. 

Melissa has a new hobby - making little felt balls out of cat hair that she has groomed out of them.  They must be nearly bloody bald the amount of balls that she now has.  And to keep them smelling sweet, she keeps them in a little tin that held cinnamon sweets.......nice!

We bought a cooked chicken the other day but did't eat that much of it.  I cooked far too many sausages 2 days ag and I was left with them as well.  So, being enterprising, not to mention mean, I decide to cook them all up and feed it to the cats.  Through the blender it went and back into some empty cat-food tins.  The ungrateful little wretches sniffed it and basically turned their noses up at it.  So that now needs to go down the waste disposal and I won't bother trying that again!

The only things I need to do now are make sure that I have informed everyone who needs to know of my new address and sort out the shed.  The grass could do with cutting but I can't get the mower out until I move everything off the top of it.  I've never enjoyed cutting the grass and we used to have a chap come and cut it at the old house.

Right, off to pretend to be busy!

Thank you

Posted on Sun 2 December 2007 at 08:42 - 0 Comments - Link

This entry is just to say thank you.

I'm unpacked, organised and ready to start again.

But I really need to take the time to say THANK YOU.

To everyone who has telephoned, texted, PM"d, spoken to me in person, or emailed me over the last two months:  I have so appreciated your support.  It has been of immense comfort to me and I don't know that I would have come through so well without you.

Don't ever underestimate the support you have given:  people who aren't even on the same continent have sent messages of comfort and just to know you have been thinking about me has helped.

For forum members:  http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?p=5623395#post5623395

this is a link to the thread thanking everyone for the time you have taken to drop me a line or add a comment to my blog

So, short and sweet tonight:

THANK YOU

I'm at peace here, ready to face the future and all it holds.

Karen X

unpacked already!

Posted on Sat 1 December 2007 at 12:01 - 2 Comments - Link

We set off early Wednesday morning and I was so tired, after about an hour and a half, I had to pull over.   Stood there by the side of the road and wondered how on earth I was going to make it.  But after a long drink of cola, I realised I hadn't even had a cup of coffee that morning. We stopped for some V a bit later on and that seemed to do the trick.  We got here no problems at all, took about 7 hours, which wasn't bad at all considering we stopped to water the cats. 

So, I'm unpacked already.  I've never hung about in that respect, can't see the point of having boxes kicking about for weeks.  All done, all tidy, all organised.

The house is not as clean as I would like but that is solve-able with a bit of work.  The letting agent has been very helpful, inviting me round to his house to use his land-line to organise my electricity provider and get my land-line up and running.  Hw came round this morning to lend me his power-washer so that is a job for this afternoon. 

I'm round at Nicci's, blatantly taking advantage of her good nature and internet connection to set up my own internet conenction.  Hopefully that should be online by Tuesday evening here so that will be the final thing I need to do.

So, very brief but it's all good!  So very pleased and relieved to be here.  The view from the deck is even better than at my own house.  Wait a minute - this is my house!  It's mine and melissa's and we intend to be happy here.  She's already had a friend come to sleepover, so she's pretty settled already.  Here's to the brave new world and a happy future for all of us.

nearly there

Posted on Tue 27 November 2007 at 04:54 - 0 Comments - Link

I cried and cried on Sunday night,  I finished work a little bit early and came home to try and do some more packing.  I decided to dismantle the beds as the open homes were over for the weekend and I could start making a bit more mess.  For some reason, taking the beds apart made me realise how very alone I was - I guess because it's never been 'my' job in the past.  It just broke my heart to be stood there in the middle of the chaos that is my home and know I had to do it all myself, that my whole bloody life was in boxes yet again.  After several phonecalls to Britain, I pulled round a bit and did a sterling job eventually. 

Yesterday was my last shift at work.  I managed not to cry until I left the building but it was just as well I was wearing sunglasses as my face was contorting as I cried all the way to the car and all the way home.  but once I got in it was full on organising.  Melissa went to dad's and I did a power of work.  The only thing that anyone else has done is help me dismantle the trampoline.  I have packed every box, done every job myself and it has been pretty daunting at times.  But it's all gone now - the removal men came this morning and the furniture is halfway to Porirua as I type.  The house is clean and the only item left is the phone - and I have every intention of heading back over after tea to check on the kitties and make some more calls.

And talking of the kitties, the kittens left home last night.  Bridget the estate agent took the tabby and the other 2 went to one of my colleagues.  Bridget brought a bottle of wine round, anmd Kat came over too, so it turned out to be a far better evening than the one before.

Melissa went to Rainbow's end today - the one and only Theme Park in New Zealand.  She seems to have had a good day but as she is now asleep, I can't ask her.  It's probably been an emotional day for her, the last day she will spend with her Hamilton friends.  But she seems to be Ok with the move and looking forward to meeting Beth again. 

So, its' all over with bar the drive tomorrow.  I feel so much better now that it's all done and I can walk away from here.  I don't have the slightest doubt that this is the best move for me and Melissa,  but the last couple of days have been hard.  Now, however, is the beginning of a new future, one I'm going to seize firmly and hang on to, because you only get one chance at life and I intend to live mine to the utmost.

So, Karen X signing off, not sure when I will have access to a computer again.  Tonight, I'm calm, relaxed and very much looking forward - hope your day holds the same promise.

Me and Richard O'Brien

Posted on Thu 22 November 2007 at 11:22 - 0 Comments - Link

I got through a huge amount of packing today and feel better for having done it.  Even in amongst the landfill that is my home at the moment, there was some joy to be found.  Melissa gave me a beautiful enamelled seahorse that hangs on the wall, for my birthday 2 years ago and it went AWOL in the move here.  Well, we still had the most enormous bag of packing paper under the house, so I pulled it out today to start re-using it.  And lo and behold, still wrapped up in the middle of all that paper, there was my seahorse.  It really brought a smile to my face.  I felt quite bad when it disappeared as it seemed to denigrate the gift she had given me so as you may imagine, I’m just delighted to see it again.  As you may well have guessed, I’m meant to be packing but a girl can’t live by packing alone, so here I am, wasting a bit of time.

We went out to eat this evening, as it was the girl's birthday.  I did phone him up and ask him if he would like to take her, as I am trying so hard to to be reasonable, but he will take her out this weekend instead.  But I did offer.  So, I phoned my mate Christine, as I wanted some adult company.  So Melissa and her mate, me and Christine, we all went to Ghengys and we had a very pleasant evening. The girls ate like there was no tomorow - very impressed with their capacity.  Her friend is here now.  I am not keen on midweek sleepovers when they have to get up for school but for this occaision, it was the right thing to do.

That's me and Richard O'Brian

The statue is almost across the road from the restaurant so I now have proof positive that I have been to Hamilton!  In case you can't make it out, he is wearing a rather fetching little number from the Rocky Horror Picture Show - which he wrote.  Clever man.  He used to live here but I haven't seen him shopping in Pac & Save or Third World so I guess he's moved on!

Friday morning

Some good news on the house front - the lady who has already been through twice during open home came back again.  Apparently she has her furniture in storage and is looking for a house big enough for a massive dresser or some such.  She has now registerd an interest in the house so I'm praying she comes back once my furniture is gone.  My furniture is pretty big and the house will probably seems a lot bigger empty. 

Right, back to the packing - the end is in sight!  But I still have to leave it tidy for the open home this weekend and that is really difficult with all the boxes. 

tell me

Posted on Wed 21 November 2007 at 08:29 - 1 Comments - Link

Tell me - can you remantle? or mantle?  I was thinking about dismantling the beds for the move next week and it just popped into my head - if you dismantle, you must either mantle or remantle eh?

I have just been sat out on the deck, in my little oasis of serenity and the moon is so bright tonight.  It is beautiful out there right now - the sky is clear and the stars are shining and it gives me such a good feeling to be able to enjoy it.  Looking at the sky like that seems to bring things into perspective and give you (well, me anyway!) a sense of peace and satisfaction with the world. 

My Melissa is all grown up tonight.  She wanted to dye her hair, so we set to and did that.  She went on a shopping spree today for her birthday: so she is sat with her laptop; hair beautifully coiffed; in a rather fetching new outfit and she looks lovely.  She reminds me of me at that age and of my sister Shona.  I wish her all the joy that a soon to be 12 year old can dream of.  My beautiful daughter - enjoy life and all it has to give.

Well, I have signed all the paperwork for the rental and put it in the post.  I have done the financial stuff and best of all, the removal company can have my furniture there before I even get there.  Although I was looking forward to meeting up with Jac and Adie next Wednesday night, I would have to drive past my new house to get there.  So it makes more sense for me and the girls ( Melissa and the 2 cats) to go home.  That feels really strange to write - I have a new home that I haven't even seen yet yet but already it holds the promise of a new start,  a new beginning, the renaissance of my life.  Fantastic - I couldn't ask for more.  Actually, if I could ask for one more thing, I would ask for this house in Hamilton to sell.  But that will also fall into place at some point, so I'm just not going to worry about it until next February, when the mortgage holiday ends.

Mellow Karen here:  laid back; making plans; looking forward to the move and to actually having some time off.  If I hadn't secured this rental, my initial time down there would have consisted of frantic running about.  But as it is, I can easily unpack the stuff in a couple of days - let's face it I have had plenty of practice of the last 17 years.  So that leaves me quite a few days to do 'us' stuff - Melissa and I taking time out to look for a riding centre that treks along the beach.  Melissa and I setting the satnav to find the nearest KFC.  Melissa and I finding the perfect beach.  Melissa and I exploring the nature reserve that is behind our new home. Melissa and I finding an internet connection as we are both internet junkies.  Ahh, the promise that the future holds.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Posted on Mon 19 November 2007 at 09:11 - 3 Comments - Link

I have a new address!!!

Nicci has been looking at rentals for me and she went out after work to look at another one.  She phoned me up, hugely enthusiastically and told me that if she had seen this one when she was looking for somewhere to rent, she would have taken it herself.  The letting agent emailed me photos and it really looks lovely.  There is even a cat-flap and the garden backs on to a reserve so the kitties are going to be in cat heaven.  Of course, as this all happened this evening, I only have a verbal agreement at the moment but will be emailed the details and contract tomorrow and start really getting down to it then.

Thank you so much Nicci, I can't find the words to express my gratitude

Not only that, but the owners are moving out this weekend so my furniture may well go straight there and not need storage at all!  The house is in Whitby, so it's right on the coast, which was really important to me as I love living near the sea, it satisfies a need in my soul.  That would give me time to unpack and really explore the area rather than spending time looking for a home and worrying about the time scale.  I'm stunned, thrilled, excited, relieved and full of nervous anticipation.  If you had told me a month ago I would feel this good I may have managed a hollow laugh but would never have believed it possible.

Roll on the start of my new life!!!

the eyesore next door

Posted on Sat 17 November 2007 at 03:41 - 2 Comments - Link

The queen of procrastination has made a comeback!

There is so much I need to do, so here I am, hammering away at the keyboard.  To be fair, I have started packing and the house is an absolute shit-tip at the moment.  Boxes and rubbish everywhere, piles of clothes, books in piles: you name it, it’s on the floor somewhere.  But I know full well that it has to be put away again by the end of today as I have another Open Home tomorrow.  It’s that weighing up time – do I need to take this with me in the car, do I need to put it into storage or do I need it at all?  Ah, decisions, decisions.

Nicci (littletoe)  has been out to look at a rental for me today.  I then spoke to the letting agent.  It sounds like it may be just a little too small but the agent was going to go back and measure up a bit for me, which hopefully will give me a better idea if all the furniture will fit.   And Nicci will go and look at another on Monday after work – as if she doesn’t have enough to do.   I’m immensely grateful for the help she is giving me and enormously touched that she has given up her time off to go and do this.  Nicci  –  thank you so much, it goes a long way to restoring my faith in human nature.  I really think I’m getting somewhere now.

Bridget the estate agent phoned me up yesterday and came round and took me out for coffee.  That was just such a nice thing to do, I was touched by her thoughtfulness.  She also offered to write me a reference for rental purposes and as she is also a J.P., that would be really helpful.

The arse who owns the section next door had a go at me today.  Some months back, he started piling topsoil on his section, which was otherwise empty, no house, nothing.  So eventually we wrote to the council as it is a complete eyesore and certainly won’t help selling the house.  So, as Bridget was leaving following the Open Home, I went out with a piece of paper for her.  He thought I had gone out to start on him and began going on about letters to the council, none of you business etc.  He just moaned on and on so eventually I said I was going in as it would avail us nothing to be stood in the street arguing, to which he replied ‘bugger of then’ several times.  My patience snapped at that point so I said ‘Oh, why don’t you just F**K OFF you stupid little man’ and came inside.  However, he has been there all afternoon leveling the topsoil and he told Bridget that he intends to grass it over.  It looks better already so that will be an awful lot better for helping to sell the house.  I just don’t need any more stress just now but best he doesn’t provoke me any further because I may say a great deal more!!!!

life's simple pleasures

Posted on Thu 15 November 2007 at 05:03 - 1 Comments - Link

Wednesday

Well, nothing new really, just more of the same.  I actually did 3 days in a row at work!!  Well impressed as I don’t really want to be there anymore and I have been given this year’s sick day allowance and still technically have 9.5 days to take!!  But I’m working on that!  As I have 6  12-hour shifts left to work, I may well develop something incredibly vague but strangely debilitating that involves a day or two off!!  I can’t believe I only have 6 days left in between my shifts to pack up and get organized.  But to be honest, apart from the packing, there isn’t a huge amount left to do.

Thursday

Well, I take that back about not much else to do…..I have spent most of today buzzing around like a blue arsed fly and have very little to show for it.  But the mortgage holiday is now organized at least.  We will take 3 months off from paying the mortgage and hopefully the house will be sold before that point anyway.

 I was stood drying my hair in the bedroom this morning when a man pulled up and started scutinising the ‘for sale’ board at the front of the house.  I eventually wandered out and asked him if he would like to look round – which he did.  He seemed to like it and particularly liked the gully.  I haven’t heard from Bridget the estate agent about it yet but hopefully there will some outcome from that. 

Darren phoned me from Glasgow this morning.  He sat part of the skills test yesterday and does the rest today.  He seemed a bit apprehensive about the next bit so I hope with all my heart that it goes well for him.  He said that if he passes this, he will definitely be coming out in the New Year.  If he doesn’t pass, he won’t get the opportunity to sit it again until next August, so please Lord, let him pass!! 

The kittens are growing apace.  I lost them yesterday.  They were here in the spare room with me and the next time I looked, they had legged it.  I would have loved to have seen them staggering drunkenly down the hall and under Melissa’s bed, but the exercise must have tired them out as they were sound asleep before I found them.

One of my colleagues came over today and she is going to buy all the big garden pots and  plants off me.  Better that than leaving them here to be neglected and I can’t put them in storage so off they go the middle of next week.

I’m off to Tauranga tomorrow on the Bay of Plenty Piss-up.  It will be good to see Caroline again before I go and indeed, everyone else there.  I’m aiming to be the forum member who has met most  others at this rate.  I need to be back in time to air the house for the Open Home at midday, so best not get wrecked!

Happy Birthday Mark

Posted on Sun 11 November 2007 at 03:22 - 0 Comments - Link

My middle son Mark is 23 today:

Happy Birthday Mark!

I present you with the 100th entry on this blog!  I wish you all the joy that you could hope for son,  with lots of love.  And thank you for the support you have given me recently - it has been gratefully received.

Although again not one person turned up to look at the house, the time wasn't completely wasted.  I took myself out when the estate agent came and went to the cafe at the local garden centre.  Armed with the most delicious spinach and chicken panini and an enormous flat white coffee, I finally filled in all the paperwork that I need to send back to my new employer.  Even the question 'next of kin' didn't phase me  - I have asked my cousin Lilaine to be 'next of kin' for me and she readily agreed, so thank-you for that!

Well, the garage is organised, I have done some packing in the house and can really see it coming together.  I will need some help with things like dismantling the trampoline and the beds but I will cross that one when I get that far.

Right, off to have a go at packing the contents of the living room cupboards...if I'm not back in  a week, send someone to find me!..........

a day full of promise

Posted on Sun 11 November 2007 at 07:43 - 1 Comments - Link

The sun is shining here in Hamilton: the sky is blue; the birds are singing; it is a day full of promise.  Days like this are good for the soul.  I still (as you can probably tell) have my serenity and a sense of peace.  I'm going to make major inroads into packing today - but there again, you can only do so much until the last few days or you find yourself rumaging through boxes looking for something vital.  But I can at least start in the garage.  I am leaving  the tools we bought for the gully - he can sort them out once I've gone.  So I need to do a 'hers' and 'his' pile.  Still coming across stuff in the house that I don't want or were always his so I show great restraint (most of the time!!) and pack them up for him to collect.So, it sounds like a plan, eh?

And although not one person turned up yesterday for the open home, as today is full of promise, maybe today is the day that the new owner of my lovely home will walk through that door and and see the same things we saw when we decided this was the house for us.  I love this house and I will miss it more than I miss him.

Having asked permission, I can now tell the waiting world the good news from Rothes.  Yet again, on my day of promise, here is the promise of a new joy.  My beautiful sister Shona and her husband Fraser are expecting their first baby, due next May.  To Shona and Fraser: You've waited a long time and had a rough journey getting there but you so deserve to be happy now.  And seeing as yet again, I can't see the keyboard through my tears, I may as well go the whole hog and express my huge gratitude to Shona - she has always been there to support me and keep me going, my best friend in the whole world, my rock.  She loves me unconditonally and will always be there for me -Shone, couldn't have got this far without you, love you lots.

I went out with friends from work on Friday and apart from people asking me how it was going, found I did have other things to talk about.  When it first happened, there was no room for anything else - it just filled my thoughts from waking to sleeping.  I'm so glad that's not the case any more - that there is more in my life than that.  Good to get out, good be have some mates you can be yourself with.

The girl is over in Cambridge staying with friends.  Jan did ask me if I would like to go too but I regretfully declined and did a bit of packing yesterday as well.  I did find time for a peaceful hour basking on the trampoline - I can't be bothered finding the hammock and putting it up at this late stage. {Note to self:  my new rental, when I get that length, must have a big enough space for the trampoline and somewhere to put the hammock!}.  And in the evening, I put the stereo on and picked up my book.  A few weeks ago, the thought of being on my own would have been sad but again, it (to me) shows I've moved on and can relish a quiet evening.  So I need to go and collect her this afternoon - hopefully Jan will put the kettle on!

The next three days are 12 hour shifts so it's difficult doing anything else on those days but work.  I only have 9 shifts left to work!!!  And 6 days in between to do everything that needs to be done.  At least things like cancelling the phone connection and stopping the gas/electricity can be left with him - it makes sense to me - I simply have enough else without that. I asked for my accomodation to be booked from the 29th of the month - and I will actually arrive the 28th, so seeing as I will be in or around the Hutt Valley, I have asked if I can again stay with Jac & Adie that night.  That means I can drop the cats off with Zoe and hopefully see them again the next day as we head over to Porirua.

So, here's to all of you: I hope your day is as full of promise as mine. Karen X

look out world!

Posted on Thu 8 November 2007 at 11:15 - 6 Comments - Link

Life is looking up!  I won 3rd place in our ward sweepstake for the Melbourne Cup.  I won $6 for a $2 stake......... Wooohooo!  But just winning something is good for a change.

Had the most brilliant news from Rothes, made me cry tears of joy this time but I forgot to ask for permission to tell the world so can't share that one with you.

The kittens are doing well - the last one has been adopted too - Caroline is going to take Willow and Silkie so I feel better about that.  They are 3 weeks old now and stagger about drunkenly on their bandy little legs. They have their eyes open but I don't think they see much right now. They are just so cute.  Melissa and I have decided that we will let Poppy have one more litter and then have her neutered.  She is such a contented Mum, she was made for it!

Darren (my youngest son) goes to Glasgow later this month to sit his skills test - the final testing in his 4 year Painting and Decorating appenticeship.  He is a bit worried but I guess there are few of us in the world that wdon't feel a bit apprehensive about tests.  Darren - take your time and read the questions - I'm sure you will do well. I'm thinking about you and wishing you all the best.   Come on Dear Readers, spare a moment to mentally send Darren some karma to help him on his way.  I know it works you know - as your kind thoughts and positive vibes have gone a long, long way towards helping me through my own trials recently.  Did I mention he is thinking on coming out to spend a year with me?  I would dearly love to see him, it would be so good to have him here and show him the best of this brilliant country.  I want my friends to meet him and see what a great lad he is.   As long as he comes because he wants to do it for himself, not just to shore me up.  I try not to think about it too much in case the whole idea falls through and I end up feeling disappointed.

I really feel  I'm getting somewhere now.  I have booked my removals for the 27th of this month - the day after I finish work.  Melissa will be on a school trip to Rainbow's End that day so will come home to an empty house.  I think she will probably spend the night at dad's but we haven't discussed that yet.  Then we drive to Porirua and our new lives on the 28th.  It's really starting to happen now and I'm just so glad to be doing something about it, not just wallowing in my misery.  The moving money came out of our suspended joint account - he agreed to diivvy up for that.  God, it's been some rollercoaster ride this last wee whilie but at least now I am in control of events, not just being swept along like a piece of rubbish in the gutter, which is very much how I felt for most of it. 

No, I'm back on top, I'm almost happy and feeling good about the future.  My colleagues have been making very nice remarks in the last few days.  I have lost a lot of weight recently, had my hair cut and had some eyliner tattooing done so suffice to say I look different now to the Karen at the beginning of October.  I've stopped blaming myself for this - I didn't deserve for this to happen.  Ian came round and we did another hypnotherapy session, this time about moving on.  I now look on this as a bereavement - I've lost the life I hoped and dreamed of but I can look forward to a new life, a new happiness, a new future.  So look out  world, here I come!

a mixed week

Posted on Sun 4 November 2007 at 02:07 - 1 Comments - Link

I'm so looking forward to not being here in Hamilton.

I feel that every time I have to see him, it drains my hard-won resilience, leaving me uneasy and stressed, not that we fight or shout or anything.  And as he has Melissa after school on the evenings I work, I see him pretty regularly.  So as you can imagine, moving will bring some relief from that at least.  Initially, I had intended to leave Melissa with him for a week or two until I got sorted out in Porirua.  But having  thought about it further, she will be coming with me.  It will be as much her house as mine so she may as well have some input into choosing a rental.  And the sooner she gets into school down there, the sooner she will make new friends, which will be important as the summer holidays will be coming up soon. 

steve initially agreed to keep the cats until I moved but has changed his mind.  So I now have to take all 5 of them with me and put them into a boarding place until we find a rental.  One of the forum members has very kindly offered to board them for me - I don't know what I would have done these past few weeks without the expats:  you have been outstanding and I appreciate everything that you have done for me.  It has made this sorry episode easier to bear knowing you are looking out for me.

The estate agent organised another 2 open homes this weekend - and one lady came on Saturday, then came back again today with her Mum for another look.  Apparently she is also looking at another one so I hope she chooses mine as that will be one less worry.  (this bit added later.....Bridget the estate agent spoke to the woman  - she sounds really interested and likes the house - Bridget  told her to make us an offer!!.. I'm not going to get my hopes up though as she will either go for a different house or offer us peanuts for it.)

I felt really low at the start of last week.  The computer upped and died.  So I made the big mistake of asking steve if he could fix it.  And he couldn't.  But he wiped everything that was on there off.  Then left. I really am an internet junkie - I hadn't realised just how bad it was until my lifeline was severed.  I guess most of my support network is contained on the world wide web so not having it at my fingertips was grim.  But my most excellent colleague Mike came round with his brother-in-law and the pair of them have it working brilliantly now.  They even fixed the laptop which has been really slow, so I was very grateful.  I was so bad Tuesday evening, I phoned work and told them I wouldn't be in on Wednesday, I just felt so fragile, I knew I would be no good at work.  And Wednesday was awful, everything made me cry.  I listened to Shane and his band on Highland Cafe on listen again and that made me cry.  A card came from Janie - that made me cry.  I was crying huge desperate sobs, almost hysterical, when Tracy came to the door with some boxes for packing.  A cup of coffee and some conversation soon saw me right and that was the turning point, thankfully.  Now the internet is working again, I feel a bit more in control.

Melissa and I went riding to Karamu again yesterday  http://sites.yellow.co.nz/site/ktt/  .  We had a 2 hour trek in the afternoon and we both enjoyed it.  As we were out the back of beyond, once we finished, I suggested we head to Raglan to see if my colleague Dot  was in.  So I set the satnav and off we went.  Oh. My. God.  It took us over 'the old mountain road' and I NEVER want to drive along there again.  After about 3 k, it went to single track and then to gravel!  And it was up hill and down dale and really quite scary.  Incredibly remote and isolated along there.  If you went off the road, I don't know how long it be before anyone came along and found you.  I don't really want to think about that. The car slid on the gravel a couple of times and that was when I remembered I have no AA cover - it ran out at the end of last month!!  We stopped to inspect a dead possum at the side of the road - I could tell Melissa was impressed with that!  And if we had the camera with us, I would be showing you as well.  We stopped and had a coffee with Dot and she said she never drives along there and her man only goes if he is driving  the 4x4!!.  The views from her house are magniificent - out across the estuary at Raglan.

Then we came back to Hamilton and stopped for KFC on the way home.  Got home and then almost immediately went out again.  Off to Tracy's this time, in completely the opposite direction.  My driving confidence must be improving as the satnav didn't register her address but I found it anyway.  Not so long ago, that would have given me such stress but now I guess I have bigger worries so this doesn't even register on the scale.  Melissa was well taken with their livestock - a goat, pig, hens, cat, dog and small boy.  Thank-you for having us, it was good to be out of the house and with other people, pretending to be normal for a while.  OK, I take that back, I have never pretended to be normal so why start now?!

Waikato Show

Posted on Sun 28 October 2007 at 10:29 - 0 Comments - Link

Today, Melissa and I went to the Waikato  Show.  It was the most glorious day and we mooched about, ate junk, saw  loads of animals and generally had a really good day.  We saw:

alpacas

 and sheep

and donkeys

and a horse-shoe making competition

and many many horses and ponies, which for both of us, was the real reason for going. 

My clever Melissa took all the photos, she seems to have a better eye for it than I do.

It was a well earned day off and I am really pleased we went as it turned out be be such a lovely day - look at the sky in that last photo!

I finish work on the 26th of November and start work in Porirua on the 10th of December.  It is beginning to feel real now and thankfully is beginning to take over my thoughts - which as you can imagine, is a blessed relief from the last few weeks.  I have a removal company coming out tomorrow to give me an estimate for storage and removals so that will be a start at least.  I put one of my colleagues in the cardboard skip at work to retreive some boxes so I will be able to start putting some things away.  There again, I will probably wait and do it all in one mad rush nearer to the date.  I intend to move and worry about selling the house later.  It will sort itself out I'm sure, wether I worry about it or not.  I will be sad to leave work as most of the time I have enjoyed being there but not sad enough to want to stay here in Hamilton.  I can't think as far as Christmas at the moment, that is so far over the horizon as I deal with each new day that I can't really imagine it happening this year.   I have no idea what I will do on Christmas Day this year but I fully intend to enjoy it and look forward to the New Year and a new life.

And talking of selling the house, I was absolutely incandescent with rage yesterday.  We had an open home yesterday.  That means the estate agent comes round for half an hour (you go out) and people come in and have a wander about your house with a view to buying (or just plain noseyness!).  The stupid man let Poppy out and I didn't come in from work until 8.30 - he had left here at about 2pm.  The kittens could have died being left that long on their own.  Poor Poppy was frantic.  I phoned them up and tore them off a strip as you may imagine, I didn't mince my words.  I don't forsee that happening again!

Here she is, they are a day old in this photo.

sorry......

Posted on Wed 24 October 2007 at 03:09 - 8 Comments - Link

Sorry Shane.

I must have worried my eldest son with my last entry as he rang this morning to check on me.  Thank you Shane, just feeling sad when I wrote that but the sun is shining today and I have the day off so it will be a better day.  Then he rang no 3 son, Darren, who also phoned me up – boys, I love you lots and miss you immensely so thanks for taking the time to pick the phone up, it means the world to me.  And by lunchtime, another enormous bunch of flowers was being delivered from my sons.  Please don’t think you have to do that every time I sound miserable but I am very grateful, so thank you very much.  Bugger, just about off again!  Shane also told me that he will be playing live on the radio tomorrow (Thursday) – Radio Scotland I think, sometime in the morning.  Hopefully I will be able to catch it on playback or whatever the hell it is called.  The band is Mind Gone Blind, so listen out for them.

The phone rang three times as I hung out the washing this morning and it is a brisk hike up the outside stairs to answer it.  But damn me, I kept hoping it would be about the job and of course it wasn’t…just as well really as I sounded like either a pervert or a 50 a day smoker by the time I got to the phone.

I did have a quiet satisfaction the other day at Jac & Adie’s house.  Adie asked me to peel the potatoes for shepherds pie, then he made the mistake of asking me to peel the carrots as well.  It was more than I could resist.  I quickly sculpted a carrot steve and took great delight in stabbing it repeatedly with the vegetable knife.  Then we ate it.  After it had been chopped into tiny weeny pieces. 

You can probably tell this entry has been written over the course of today in bits and pieces

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!

Crying yet again but this time with happiness and relief.  Contract to be sent out and that’s that really.  Oh God, it all starts now!!!

And the kittens are doing well!

kittens!

Posted on Tue 23 October 2007 at 11:59 - 1 Comments - Link

Well, still waiting to hear on the job front:  starting to worry now as the interview was Friday and it’s now nearly midnight Tuesday.  I console myself with the thought that it has been a bank-holiday type weekend and the interviewer may well have taken another day off also.  She certainly hasn’t contacted my referees yet as I saw them both at work today.  Please hurry up and let me know as the wait is agonising.

I have been awake since 4am this morning, fretting in case I slept in and missed my flight.  Once I landed in Hamilton, I switched my phone on and was astounded to learn that Poppy had popped and had 3 kittens!  They are home now and Poppy seems to be a diligent mother, incredibly skinny but very much the furry purry.  There is a tabby, a ginger and white and a Poppy lookee likee: creamy and white with maybe a bit of grey.  That one is the runt so I hope she makes it. 

I met steve at the Bank at lunchtime, then he came to pick Melissa up before I went to work and then he was here with her when I finished work.  I feel sad seeing him and my life would be happier and less stressful if I didn’t have to see him anymore.  We are civil but it breaks my heart to have to deal with him.  I just want to go to bed and pull the covers up over my head and cry and cry and cry – like I did last night and the night before. I feel worn out and pathetic now that I am back in Hamilton.  I felt better when I was away – it’s probably a combination of tiredness and worry that makes me feel so sad tonight.  I’m better than this usually but to quote Morrisey, heaven knows I’m miserable now.  Ah well, tomorrow can’t be any worse surely?  Please Lord don’t make me regret  writing that.