Posted on Sat 13 June 2009 at 12:22
Hey peeps, long time no see!!
It just ocurred to me 5 minutes ago why I haven't blogged for so long - I've been putting it off. Let me tell you the story.
A very dear friend of mine lost her father a few months ago. I didn't really help her out at all as I simply didn't know how to deal with her pain. I asked her if she minded if I blogged her father and she said that would be OK.
So let me tell you the story of our friendship first. I have known her ever since I can remember. She was this wee skinny kid who lived on a farm. I didn't even know she existed apart from the fact she used to be about at the riding school I used to frequent. Her father worked on that estate and she was always under the horses hooves when I went for riding lessons (which incidentally, even as a kid of 11, I mamnaged to scrape together enough to pay for). We went to the same school but as I was older than her, we simply never connected. We went our separate ways but fate has a funny way of throwing people back alongside. Our partners had been friends for years and once I moved back from England, we fell in together. I like to think we became friends then. We have kids of the same age and we saw life in the same way. I used to pack my kids in the car to go visit. I even took my Snarfie and her whole brood of kittens up there one day. We had bonded from the early days and even though we are now 20 + years down the line I count her as one of my very special friends. I always used to take homemade lasagne for her and us when I went to visit and she would always feed the multitude of kids we had bewtwen us. I count my friendship with her as incredibly special. She is one of the very few people on this earth I would trust with my secrets and she has never ever let me down. We have laughed and cried together. We have danced ourselves silly to the refrain of "don't leave me this way' by the Communards, we have taken the piss totally about certain people we both know. Next to my sister Shona, she is my best friend in in the whole wide, wide world. I love and respect her hugely. And I am so pleased she is my friend cos I love her to bits and respect what she has made of her life.
Her father died recently. I would like to take this moment to pay my respects to her father. He worked on a farm for most of his adult life. I really only knew him as her father but he always struck me as a very upright man. Of course he could curse and blind with the best of them but I always saw him as a man of his word An earthy man. A man of the earth as a farm worker. No pretenses with him - he would tell it as he saw it and one can only credit him for that He was a decent father who stood by her in times of trauma and he was the best grandfather this world could offer. He put himself out considerably to fulfill that role and his grandchildren loved him deeply - as she and her husband did too.
I wish I had done this months ago - added my condolences and regret at his passing. He was a lovely man, a good father and the best grandfather a kid could wish. Brian - I wish you peace and I hope you are happy now in whatever afterlife there is because I believe you deserve it. Happy Days Brian and I wish I had known you better. God cherish you wherever you are xxx
And you my love, I am so sorry I haven't been a better friend to you in your time of need. I can only apologise and hope to be a better friend in times to come.
Love you Janie,