Where to start?
Posted on Fri 6 June 2008 at 10:13Apparently, by the emails I have received recently, I have been off the radar for a while. To be honest, I have had such a lot going on that I haven’t thought to blog.
So, where to start?
My landlords and I have agreed to an amicable arrangement that if I can find somewhere else to live, they will pay my full removal costs and give me 2 weeks rent free. So, the house that I now live in is on the market and I am looking for a house to rent in Papakowhai. That is where the girl goes to school now and intends to go to school after Christmas. So it makes sense to move there.
My beautiful sister Shona has had a son: Hamish McGregor Brown. To Shona and Fraser: I wish you all the joy in the world for your future parenthood; the sheer heart-melting, all transcending bliss that overtakes you when you gaze at your newborn child. The contentment that comes with the fulfilment of your dreams. The wonder of a future that contains the child you have created. It’s just so all encompassing; it takes your breath away. Until they grow up a bit and and get lifted fro breach of the peace: but that’s another story………eh Darren?
Work has been frantic at times. I lost the rag the other day, IM’d a patient and finally, once he spat on me, we took him to the floor and restrained him there. I had had enough that day. Don’t push me when my patience has run out because, believe me, I will only take so much shite before I snap. And today wasn’t good either. Got pushed by a patient, who had every intention of attacking me. I barked at him and sent him to de-esc in very short order. The incident was contained and all I have to show for it is a small scratch down my forearm. Enough of the pussyfooting about though. When you first go to a new unit, you (well, me anyway) tend to adopt a low profile and figure out the dynamics. Well, 6 months down the line, it is time to assert myself and I am not doing any more Mr Nice Guy. I think both patients and staff have found me to be quite unassuming and reasonable. Bugger it, it’s time to show them the real Karen.
And finally, for me. The most important bit.
I have been quite reticent about this one.
I have been seeing a rather nice Kiwi man for a few weeks now. I felt I would rather keep it to myself until I had some idea where it was going. But now I feel confident enough about this relationship to tell the world. I swing between wild elation and sheer terror. Contentment and fear of commitment. It scares the hell out of me at times – what if this turns to ashes in my mouth as well? Well, Hell mend it: how will I know if I don’t give it a try? At the moment he makes me indescribably happy; who knows where it is going but it is so much what I want right now. He makes me feel good about myself for the first time in a very long time. He’s a typical reserved Kiwi bloke (and yes, that is a huge stereo-typical statement to make) and I think he finds it difficult to say what he feels. But today, I got in from work and there was a brand new axe and a bunch of flowers waiting for me. The wood I ordered for the log-burner is (a) too big to burn quickly and (b) rather wet and doesn’t burn that well anyway. So, for me, the new axe was rather touching. It is probably too big for me to wield effectively but I will make strenuous efforts in the face of adversity…..ha! The girl seems to like him, which is of huge importance to me. The fact that he has a 15-month-old Alsatian pup has of course helped endear him greatly!!So that’s life at the moment…….it’s looking up in Karenland!!