ups and downs

Posted on Fri 28 December 2007 at 08:23

I hadn't realised how long since I last updated - had to look back and quite surprised to see it was the 18th of this month.

The time has flown in with an amazing rollercoaster of emotions - which is why I have disabled the 'post comments' thingy.  I'm not looking for sympathy, just telling the story.

The 18th of Decemeber should have been our wedding anniversary.  I cried and cried that night.  I guess now that the move is over and I am into work it has hit me now.  I don't want him back, I don't need him, but I miss the easy familiarity we had and the being part of a couple.  All part of the process I guess.

Anyway, work has continued to go really well, they are a great bunch and I'm learning all the time.

Jen and Frank, steve's Mum and step-father came to visit for a few days.  It was lovely to see them, really glad they wanted to spend some time with us.  I had organised a house-warming party, which turned out to be excellent.  Some colleagues, some neighbours and some forum members.  Good mix, good company.  And then on saturday morning they took Melissa off with them to go back up to Hamilton.

I went out with my work-mates on Saturday night and they are so welcoming and so supportive.  Several of them did the big group-hug thing with me and told me I am whanau now.  Whanau is a big Maori family thing, it encompasses more than just family, it's about extended family and belonging.  It was fantastic to feel so included in such a short space of time.

On Christams Eve, I worked until 4pm, then headed over to the Danny's house for a carol service and Christmas reading get-together.  And I cried again.  It suddenly hit me how different my life is now from any other Chrsitmas that has gone before.  I have a photo but as the main computer is in the shop and I am using the laptop, I won't even attempt to put it on today.  But we did the whanau thing there as well as we are an extended family and we all look out for each other.  Wellington whanau - you have been my support and inspiration, I feel honoured and priveleged to have been included into the family.  Thanks mates!!  And then I came home and cried for hours.  Simple as that.  It really tore me up to be here on my own. 

I worked Christmas Day.  I was glad to be there as it is usually a good atmosphere to work in and it was a huge amount better than the thought of being here on my own.  Then off round to the Danny's again for a barbequed Xmas dinner - which of course I couldn't eat.  But I did take a bit of lobster home with me......and the sodding cats found it and ripped it to shreds!  Little bastards - I'll give you Yo Ho Ho!!

Boxing Day - off to Jac and Adies for a barbeque - and the hail simply fell out of the sky.  it was quite surreal.  You think about coming to New Zealand and having Xmas in the summer - well, you could have fooled me!  Again though, great to see everyone and although the hail stopped a fair few from coming, we had a good time.

And that's about it really.  The sun has been shining now and again, I'm happy here most of the time. 

And Tina - you woke me up at 4.45 this morning with your text and I couldn't get back to sleep!  So I got up and started the day from there.  I hadn't realised when I got to work at 7am that I would end up pulling a double shift so I am absolutely knackered now.  I had an hour off around 3pm as I had to go and pay some bills  so my overtime today and Xmas day should go a fair way towards that at least. 

So, hopefully that is the worst over with -  it can't possibly hurt that much again.

Here's to a brighter New Year for all us - enjoy!