nearly there

Posted on Tue 27 November 2007 at 04:54

I cried and cried on Sunday night,  I finished work a little bit early and came home to try and do some more packing.  I decided to dismantle the beds as the open homes were over for the weekend and I could start making a bit more mess.  For some reason, taking the beds apart made me realise how very alone I was - I guess because it's never been 'my' job in the past.  It just broke my heart to be stood there in the middle of the chaos that is my home and know I had to do it all myself, that my whole bloody life was in boxes yet again.  After several phonecalls to Britain, I pulled round a bit and did a sterling job eventually. 

Yesterday was my last shift at work.  I managed not to cry until I left the building but it was just as well I was wearing sunglasses as my face was contorting as I cried all the way to the car and all the way home.  but once I got in it was full on organising.  Melissa went to dad's and I did a power of work.  The only thing that anyone else has done is help me dismantle the trampoline.  I have packed every box, done every job myself and it has been pretty daunting at times.  But it's all gone now - the removal men came this morning and the furniture is halfway to Porirua as I type.  The house is clean and the only item left is the phone - and I have every intention of heading back over after tea to check on the kitties and make some more calls.

And talking of the kitties, the kittens left home last night.  Bridget the estate agent took the tabby and the other 2 went to one of my colleagues.  Bridget brought a bottle of wine round, anmd Kat came over too, so it turned out to be a far better evening than the one before.

Melissa went to Rainbow's end today - the one and only Theme Park in New Zealand.  She seems to have had a good day but as she is now asleep, I can't ask her.  It's probably been an emotional day for her, the last day she will spend with her Hamilton friends.  But she seems to be Ok with the move and looking forward to meeting Beth again. 

So, its' all over with bar the drive tomorrow.  I feel so much better now that it's all done and I can walk away from here.  I don't have the slightest doubt that this is the best move for me and Melissa,  but the last couple of days have been hard.  Now, however, is the beginning of a new future, one I'm going to seize firmly and hang on to, because you only get one chance at life and I intend to live mine to the utmost.

So, Karen X signing off, not sure when I will have access to a computer again.  Tonight, I'm calm, relaxed and very much looking forward - hope your day holds the same promise.