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a mixed weekPosted on Sun 4 November 2007 at 02:07I'm so looking forward to not being here in Hamilton. I feel that every time I have to see him, it drains my hard-won resilience, leaving me uneasy and stressed, not that we fight or shout or anything. And as he has Melissa after school on the evenings I work, I see him pretty regularly. So as you can imagine, moving will bring some relief from that at least. Initially, I had intended to leave Melissa with him for a week or two until I got sorted out in Porirua. But having thought about it further, she will be coming with me. It will be as much her house as mine so she may as well have some input into choosing a rental. And the sooner she gets into school down there, the sooner she will make new friends, which will be important as the summer holidays will be coming up soon.
steve initially agreed to keep the cats until I moved but has changed his mind. So I now have to take all 5 of them with me and put them into a boarding place until we find a rental. One of the forum members has very kindly offered to board them for me - I don't know what I would have done these past few weeks without the expats: you have been outstanding and I appreciate everything that you have done for me. It has made this sorry episode easier to bear knowing you are looking out for me.
The estate agent organised another 2 open homes this weekend - and one lady came on Saturday, then came back again today with her Mum for another look. Apparently she is also looking at another one so I hope she chooses mine as that will be one less worry. (this bit added later.....Bridget the estate agent spoke to the woman - she sounds really interested and likes the house - Bridget told her to make us an offer!!.. I'm not going to get my hopes up though as she will either go for a different house or offer us peanuts for it.)
I felt really low at the start of last week. The computer upped and died. So I made the big mistake of asking steve if he could fix it. And he couldn't. But he wiped everything that was on there off. Then left. I really am an internet junkie - I hadn't realised just how bad it was until my lifeline was severed. I guess most of my support network is contained on the world wide web so not having it at my fingertips was grim. But my most excellent colleague Mike came round with his brother-in-law and the pair of them have it working brilliantly now. They even fixed the laptop which has been really slow, so I was very grateful. I was so bad Tuesday evening, I phoned work and told them I wouldn't be in on Wednesday, I just felt so fragile, I knew I would be no good at work. And Wednesday was awful, everything made me cry. I listened to Shane and his band on Highland Cafe on listen again and that made me cry. A card came from Janie - that made me cry. I was crying huge desperate sobs, almost hysterical, when Tracy came to the door with some boxes for packing. A cup of coffee and some conversation soon saw me right and that was the turning point, thankfully. Now the internet is working again, I feel a bit more in control.
Melissa and I went riding to Karamu again yesterday http://sites.yellow.co.nz/site/ktt/ . We had a 2 hour trek in the afternoon and we both enjoyed it. As we were out the back of beyond, once we finished, I suggested we head to Raglan to see if my colleague Dot was in. So I set the satnav and off we went. Oh. My. God. It took us over 'the old mountain road' and I NEVER want to drive along there again. After about 3 k, it went to single track and then to gravel! And it was up hill and down dale and really quite scary. Incredibly remote and isolated along there. If you went off the road, I don't know how long it be before anyone came along and found you. I don't really want to think about that. The car slid on the gravel a couple of times and that was when I remembered I have no AA cover - it ran out at the end of last month!! We stopped to inspect a dead possum at the side of the road - I could tell Melissa was impressed with that! And if we had the camera with us, I would be showing you as well. We stopped and had a coffee with Dot and she said she never drives along there and her man only goes if he is driving the 4x4!!. The views from her house are magniificent - out across the estuary at Raglan.
Then we came back to Hamilton and stopped for KFC on the way home. Got home and then almost immediately went out again. Off to Tracy's this time, in completely the opposite direction. My driving confidence must be improving as the satnav didn't register her address but I found it anyway. Not so long ago, that would have given me such stress but now I guess I have bigger worries so this doesn't even register on the scale. Melissa was well taken with their livestock - a goat, pig, hens, cat, dog and small boy. Thank-you for having us, it was good to be out of the house and with other people, pretending to be normal for a while. OK, I take that back, I have never pretended to be normal so why start now?!
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