split personality

Posted on Tue 27 March 2007 at 10:49

Hello people.

Today's topic is split personality.

I have come to believe there are two of me co-habiting this body.  Lets face it: there is plenty room for two!

Two distinct but separate me's {now that has really ticked one of me off - should the word "me's"  truly have an apostrophe?}  There is slothful lazy 'KArren' (that's how the Kiwis reckon I pronounce my name), then there is the cleaning genius Karyn (how Kiwis pronounce Karen).  The is a list of attributes for each personality. 

KArren likes to lie in bed til late, then get a tray with coffee, bicuits, crisps etc and read in bed until very late.  Then get up, dash round like a mad thing, spraying furniture polish into the air so that people (Melissa and Steve) think she has been busy all day.  KArren likes lounging in the hammock with an ice-lolly. KArren likes take-away food and endless hours wasting time on the computer.  KArren is a slob. KArren doesn't bother to go out to the postbox to check for mail - well, it will still be there later eh?  KAren ignores reminders for appointments.  KArren drinks lager.  KArren drinks lots of lager.  KArren drinks lots of lager, then phones people up.  KArren doesn't worry about the phone bill.

Karyn however, is the goody-goody alter-ego.  Karyn gets up early and spends ALL day cleaning.  Karyn goes swimming.  Karyn makes soup and cooks healthy meals for the family.  Karen has a conscience and lets the kittens in when they mioaw piteously to come in.  Karyn gardens.  Karyn made a huge bag to put garden rubbish in.  Karyn thinks about savings accounts.  Karyn writes letters and remembers appointments.  Karyn cycles places to help save the environment and to get fit.  Karyn spend countless wasted hours on the computer. 

KArren got first dibs yesterday, so it was back to bed, then lounging, then more lounging, small amount of thinking about cleaning, then lounging.  Took the car to 'Tommo's Lunch Bar' - 3 streets away.  KArren bought lunch for 2 then ate it all herself, on the deck, admiring the view.  KArren had a fantastic day and did not a hand's turn of work.

Karyn got up first today.  (God, I wish KArren had won!)  Bed change first.  Right, that quilt cover WILL NOT DO!.  So Karyn had to iron it and all 4 pillow cases.  And sew on the button that fell off in October just after we bought it.  And as the sewing box was out, sew the button on to the black cord jacket, the button that fell off last July and emigrated in the sewing box.....Washing in.  Washing out.  Ironing done on the deck, including the wet washing.  Although this house was surgically clean mid Jnauary, the bathroom HAD to be cleaned from top to bottom today.  That's because Karyn managed to find a limescale remover the other day.  So - the walls were washed, the shower was cleaned inside and out, the toilet was scrubbed until it surrendered all germs known to man.  You name it, Karyn cleaned it.  At that point, KArren put in a brave bid for freedom.......but no, super-Karyn won the toss and carried on to clean the rest of the house.  Karyn cleaned for Britain and NZ and single-handedly cleaned every nook, cranny, niche, hidey-hole and glory hole in the vicinity. 

I HATE KARYN!  Where has slobby old KArren gone?  Who is this new Kiwi version?  Best she effs off shortly as KArren will make her drink beer.............

Ha!  There's the answer! Two bottles of your finest Steinlager please Barman!  And Karyn does a runner!

Ah, that's more like it!

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Nothing of any note to divulge or inform you of.  Life goes on in a rather nice pattern.  Melissa is keen to enter an 'australasian' english competition .  It costs $6.50 so  I am quite happy to pay for that.  Not sure exactly what that entails  but I think it is an essay writing competition but it could be a spelling bee for all I know!

She went to the stables again this week and from now on will spend every Saturday up there.  She is very pleased with herself.  She just needs to remember it is all subject to getting her jobs done at home first!  Her friend has moved next door and Melissa seems very pleased about that..........

The weather continues to be mild - like a summer's day in the UK.  Life is good, stress is non-existent (unless Karyn wants to clean) and everyone is A-OK.