the dog's b...

Posted on Thu 16 November 2006 at 09:24

At this moment in time a voice activated laptop would be the dogs's b…. (Damn, forgot my mother reads this!).. would be top notch.  I have spent the last 3 days on a calming and restraint course and my arms (and indeed most of me) feel like bits of string.  As usual I am bruised black and black – went way past blue.  Really good course though.  They use different techniques here and I really feel they are safer and more efficient. And of course the male (Kiwi) instructor decided to take the piss out of my Scots accent all the way through.  I got my own back near the end when he said I was looking up his kilt (shorts really) when we had him pinned on the floor.  I replied ‘yes, it looks like a willy but smaller’.  He stopped after that!!  In fact we were such a brilliant group that it was meant to be a 4 day course but we finished today after 3 as the instructors felt they had taught us all they knew.  That just wouldn't happen in the UK (jobsworth and all that!).  So we get let loose on the wards tomorrow.  Bit of a pisser really ‘cos I thought we would have a lazy day rounding off the course…  Talking about work has just reminded me they paid me the relocation allowance they promised me today.  $2 000 towards flights isn’t a huge amount (what, £650 – 700?), but far better in my account then theirs.  And as we intended coming here anyway, anything thy want to give me is a bonus.  But what to spend it on?  I think something totally frivolous like the most enormous barbeque to be had in NZ….. or the biggest trampoline… or the biggest piss up… Ahhhh, the choices are endless!!  I will give the matter some thought and get back to you…

This will be my last weekend off for a while as I go on to the proper shift pattern next week.  I will be working both Xmas and New Year which doesn’t bother me at all as I have the first week of January off which is summer!!  As it will be the girl’s birthday next week, we are going to take Melissa and her friend horse-riding on Saturday and then go out for a meal of Melissa’s choosing (I will make strenuous efforts to ensure that we don’t end up in McDonalds). Then hopefully the Mount (Manganui) on Sunday.  It doesn’t need to be a lovely day weatherwise – you know what I’m like - just point me at the sea and all’s right with the world. 

We went to Rotorua on Sunday, which was a good day out.  We went on the gondola/chairlift and spent considerable time and money on the luges, which for those who haven’t been are little go-cart/sledge affairs with brakes that speed down the side of a very steep hill.  I thought Melissa was going off the edge at one point, but she got back on track without too much trouble.  Then there is another ski-lift that takes you and your sledge back up to the top.  Good fun and great views.  We went to look at the hot mud pools and did a bit of paddling in them too.  The stink of sulphur is damned near overwhelming at times, and of course the day wouldn’t have been complete without fart and bottom jokes.  What I found really funny was Steve and Melissa utilising the video clip jobbie on Steve’s mobile.  They ended up filming each other discoursing on the vagaries of geothermal activity and it was a cross between Nigel Thornberry from the Wild Thornberry’s kid’s programme, Alan Whicker and David Attenborough.  Use your imagination!!  We took a picnic, set it all up, being very genteel with the tablecloth, napkins, glasses etc…….and it PISSED down!!  Not only that but someone told the local wildlife we were doing a remake of the Birds so they all came to audition round our table.  Little bastards!!!

 We went to the farmers' market on Sunday as well.  They have them every week here and I like the idea of buying fresh produce at a reasonable price and supporting local people at the same time.  Good day all in all.

The replacement furniture has been delivered and everything seems to be OK this time.  Steve hadn’t realised that they had only brought the top for the dining table and had to run out to the van to ask for the legs back off the original one before they buggered off!!  I wish I had seen that.!!  It all looks very nice now that all is as it should be.  We have no bookcases any more though but as we have very few books at the moment, that is not an issue.  Still no word on when our furniture will arrive. I haven’t felt homesick or lonely or anything like that but goodness me I miss my settee!!  I am so looking forward to being reunited with it.  I am considering a house-warming party when it does arrive, but maybe I ought to mention that to Steve before I invite anyone!